The June night is breezy.

Ding Yu drank a little too much that day, and it didn't take long for him to go back to the house to sleep, leaving only me and Ding Jin.

"He likes you." Ding Jin said.

I was stunned, what else did I say, who likes whom?

"Ding Yu likes you."

Ding Jin's undoubted tone made me completely confused, men like men? How can it be.

"My own brother, don't I understand? The way he looks at you is different from the way he looks at me, there is love in his eyes when he looks at you, and he looks at me as just a simple brother and sister. ”

The oncoming evening breeze blew me awake, and I drank a beer to suppress the surprise in my heart.

"Ding Yu won't say it, so you don't have to take it to heart, how to get along in the future."

Ding Jin touched my cup, raised his head and drank the rest of the wine and went back to the house to rest, leaving me alone to sit in the gazebo.

Ding Yu likes me? How could it be.

Since I knew Ding Yu's feelings, I often observed his eyes and expressions, and there was indeed lingering love and nostalgia in his eyes as Ding Jin said.

I became more and more scared, afraid to face Ding Yu, and even glad that he was about to leave home for the start of school.

I started to run away from Ding Yu, and I often used business as an excuse to tell him that he was busy and didn't have time when he called me to eat together.

I don't know what feelings I have for Ding Yu, and it has become a habit to accompany and protect him for a long time. I don't know if it's a liking or not, and I don't want to know because I think it's kinky.

Time passed slowly, and I switched from selling video tapes to doing food processing.

One day I received a call in the company saying that Ding Yu had fainted and was now being rescued.

I rushed to the hospital in a hurry and saw Ding's father, Ding's mother, and Ding Jin waiting at the door of the operating room.

Looking at the lights in the operating room, I felt ashamed and guilty. If it weren't for Ding Yu fainting this time, I wouldn't have seen him for a long time.

It's been more than two years.

In the past two years, various women around me have taken the initiative to approach me from time to time, and sometimes the smell of rouge gouache makes me sick, and I miss the fragrant soap horn smell on Ding Yu's body more and more.

I often dream of me and Ding Yu, and when I wake up, there is always an empty place in my heart.

I don't want to admit that I have feelings for Ding Yu that are beyond ordinary brothers.

After the lights went out in the operating room, the nurse pushed Ding Yu out, and this was the second time I saw Ding Yu in more than two years.

If it weren't for his pale face and bloodless lips, I thought Ding Yu was just asleep, and I quietly watched him being pushed into the ward, his legs sinking as if they were being filled with lead.

When I heard the doctor say which family member would pay the money, I shouted loudly for me to pay, as if this would reduce the guilt I felt about Ding Yu in my heart.

The doctor said that Ding Yu fainted due to cerebral hemorrhage, but fortunately, the amount and location of the bleeding were not large, and he would be examined again after Ding Yu woke up.

Ding's mother had a bad heart and was stimulated, Ding's father was worried that her body would not be able to survive, so he took Ding's mother home to rest in the first half of the night, leaving me and Ding Jin to guard Ding Yu in the ward.

Ding Jin was still wearing the clothes she was filming in the set, her beautiful makeup still couldn't hide her sallow face, she looked at Ding Yu with empty eyes, and there seemed to be fine wrinkles at the end of her eyes.

It suddenly occurred to me that Ding Jin is 30 years old this year, and even he is 26 years old. Time flies.

After a long time, she lit a cigarette, I frowned and said pinch, the ward does not allow smoking, and Ding Yu does not like the smell of smoke.

Ding Jin smiled and extinguished his cigarette and said, "Ding Yu doesn't like it? I can't imagine that you still remember Ding Yu. ”

I bowed my head and was speechless.

Ding Jin sneered and said that Ding Yu had seen the wrong eye and believed the wrong person after all.

"Wu Yu." This was the first time Ding Jin had said my name calmly and indifferently.

I looked up at her and saw that her eyes were red.

"If I hadn't said Ding Yu's feelings for you that day, would you still accompany him and protect him as before?"

Ding Yu didn't wait for me to answer, and continued, "Ding Yu is the youngest but the most transparent among us, and he knows that once he says something, he will never go back to what he used to be. So if I don't say that sentence, he will always hide it in his heart. ”

"But why can't you just treat him as if nothing had happened? For more than two years, you have tried your best to prevaricate him, and you have not seen him again, even if you give him a look. ”

Ding Jin's somewhat poignant voice pierced my eardrums, and I didn't dare to look at her directly.

"Do you know what it's like to wait from dark until dawn? For the past two years Chinese New Year's Eve he sat in the courtyard and looked at the door, and the light in his eyes gradually changed from bright to dim and finally became lifeless. ”

"You're so ruthless." Ding Jin said this coldly and never looked at me again.

I was speechless, Ding Jin was right.

After Ding Jin said that sentence to me two years ago, I looked directly into my heart.

I thought that Ding Yu's long-term protection and companionship was a habit, but it wasn't until I dreamed back at midnight that I realized that it was not only a habit but also a liking.

After recognizing my heart, I didn't dare to face Ding Yu, because in that era, if someone found that his sexual orientation was abnormal, he would become a street rat that everyone shouted at.

I just hate that Ding Yu is not a girl, or that I am not a girl.

I thought that two years could consume my feelings for Ding Yu, but the longer the time passed, the more I couldn't let go, and the more I didn't dare to face it.

I leaned against the wall and watched Ding Yu until Ding Yu woke up when the belly of the fish in the east was white.

Ding Jin happily asked where was it uncomfortable?

Ding Yu shook his head, opened his mouth and wanted to say that it was okay, but found that his voice was hoarse and he couldn't speak.

I want to go forward, but I know that I have no face to face Ding Yu.

Ding Jin took out a straw and asked Ding Yu to drink water, and after he took a shallow sip, he looked at me and said, Brother, you are here.

Ding Jin's eyes were red, he took a deep breath, lit a cigarette and turned to leave the ward.

The distance from the window to the bed was like a light year, and my voice was a little choked, and I wouldn't go any more.

Ding Yuleng looked at me for a long time, and then, like when he was a child, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth began to sob.

I couldn't hold back the pain in my heart anymore, crying and saying that my brother was wrong, don't blame me.

When the doctor rushed to the ward, he saw the blood oxygen value and ECG value displayed, and sternly told me that the patient's condition was still unstable, and the family members were asked to go out!

I was standing in the corridor and heard the sound of vomiting in the virgin's bathroom not far away, and soon I saw Ding Jin walking out with a pale face leaning against the wall.

I ran over and grabbed her, and she shook my hand hard, get out!

"Now that you're pregnant, stop smoking."

Ding Jin turned his head and looked at me fiercely, "You don't have to worry about it, Ding Yu and I have nothing to do with you." ”

After that, I accompanied Ding Yu in the ward every day, telling him about my life in the past few years, and doing my best to make up for the past two years.

No matter what I said, Ding Yu always looked at me gently and smiled, as if he wanted to take back the time lost in the past two years.

But we both tacitly kept silent about the relationship, he didn't ask me why I avoided him for the past two years, and I didn't tell him that I knew he liked me.

After Ding Yu recovered from his illness, we were the same as before. Sometimes when the company is not busy, I will go to the school to find him and listen to the lectures with him.

Usually he lives in the dormitory, and on weekends I cook and wait for him to come back and talk about what happened this week.

It's just that with the passage of time, the sequelae of Ding Yu's cerebral hemorrhage are getting more and more serious. The most obvious is speech dysfunction, sometimes during the chat, he will stumble and speak slurredly.

I went to the doctor and the doctor said that these symptoms are normal and that there may be other sequelae or complications in the future.

I finally felt the pain of my heart, like a knife, so painful that I couldn't breathe, and I forgot how I got home that day.

Later, Ding Jin's child was born, a girl, who stared around with wide eyes as soon as she was born.

Her presence brings a lot of joy to our lives.

Ding Jin thought that the child was stinky, so he asked me to change the diaper, and when the child cried at night, I also coaxed him to sleep.

We were noisy in the courtyard as before.

Ding Jin gave up her aura as a female star, like a woman in the market shouting my name, I would also laugh and scold her for being a crazy woman, Ding Yu sat on the side and hugged the girl and looked at us quietly and laughed.

Ding Jin didn't mention the child's father, but every other month there would be more money in the account.

When the child was three years old, Ding Jin left.

Only one letter remained.

She said Wu Yu, the child, Ding Yu and the parents have all been handed over to you, the child's surname is Lin, you can take the name. I've been through a lot over the years, I've tasted all kinds of things in the world, and I'm tired. I know I'm very selfish in doing this, I've bullied you since I was a child, and now I'm bullying you again for the last time, take care of the girl for me, don't look for me. I will change you to be my brother in the next life.

After Ding's mother learned that Ding Jin was gone, she died of a heart attack not long after.

I didn't have time to grieve because Ding Yu was sick again.

The doctor said that the blood vessels were too thin to stop, and the craniotomy was very risky, and the family members needed to make a decision as soon as possible.

I crouched in the hallway and cried, slamming the wall hard, unable to vent my sadness.

Looking at Ding's father's gray hair, I made a decision to agree to this surgery.

Outside the hospital room, I saw the doctor shave Ding Yu's hair and be wheeled into the operating room, which was the longest and most torturous time of my life.

Fortunately, Ding Yu was out of danger, and unfortunately he lost most of his cognitive function.

And fortunately in misfortune, Ding Yu only remembers me.

When he was sober, he would say, "Brother, I want to eat roasted sweet potatoes, and brother, I want to catch dragonflies."

When he was confused, he would say, do you know where my brother went? My brother is the best person in the world, he just doesn't love me.

One day Ding Yu took my hand when he was awake and said, Wu Yu, this is the first time I have called your name, and I don't want you to be my brother anymore.

I looked at Ding Yu expectantly, hoping that he would continue to speak, and as long as he continued, I would agree to him.

Ding Yu seemed to feel that something was wrong, and shook his head slightly, brother, I will become a star in the future, and you will see me as soon as you look up.

My heart suddenly sank from the scorching summer to the cold winter, what stupid thing to say, your illness will be cured soon, and we will go home soon.

"Brother, you said that there are so many planets in the galaxy, will there be one that belongs to me?"

I nodded vigorously, "Yes, when you're well, we'll apply for a planet that's unique to us." ”

"Brother, you're still so good, but I may not be able to wait." Ding Yu said weakly.

Ding Yu looked tired but insisted on looking at me with a smile, slowly closing his eyes, quiet like an angel.

The person I love the most will always stay at the age of 26.

From beginning to end, we didn't say a word of "I like you".

Ding Yu's departure took away the happiness of the rest of my life.

Later, the girl's name was Lin Dingding.

Ding is Ding Jin's Ding.

Ding is Ding Yu's Ding.