Thoughts

Looking at the long night and twilight stars, the sea of red dust rises and falls.

The cold wind goes back and forth, and the years are like sand and paste.

Miss Wu, please allow me to say this, anyway, you don't know, no matter what I am for you, and whether it's ridiculous or not, I don't care, humble as me, how dare I have other extravagances, your shadow is like a maggot attached to the bones, although the past has long been smoothed out by the wind and sand of the years, but in the deepest part of my heart, I have to admit that there is always you, maybe I can't let go, maybe there is a new person, you don't know if you are an old person, maybe it won't appear again, but at this time, inexplicably, I feel a little lonely, I don't know why, I know that for you, I'm not the only one, maybe it was important at the time, it doesn't matter after disappointment, I know, I understand, I also know what it was at the beginning, that is, it was at the beginning, and it is not now, but even how to understand, even if I know, I can't let go, I can't face it, I was so hot emotions back then, I was so innocent, inferior and blind, it's not that I don't want to pursue, I just feel cowardly, the man of the class is infinitely charming, how can I favor me, a sullen slut who can step on anyone, Yes, so I wanted to give up, and after a while, I regretted that I felt wrong, but now, I understand, there is no right or wrong in love, we just, not at the right time, in the right place, we met, at this moment, you may be rejoicing and worrying, but I know that from the moment of the end, in your joy and trouble, there will be no more me, regrettable love, maybe not counted, unrequited love? Or are they all reserved people waiting for the other to speak? Everything in the present is long gone, and whether it is in the past, present, or future, whether it is important or not, it has long lost its meaning.

Everything at the beginning, it doesn't make sense to let go or not, the cruel reality tells you, you don't fall, for anyone, it's insignificant, your parents may give you a painless word, but who can understand, that kind of blow, that kind of pain, how desperate it is?!

I remember, I remember, I saw your smile by chance in the first summer, and rolled over to suffocate when I went home, because I liked you so much, and in the winter at the end of that year, a semester, it seemed that the spine was emptied, and the whole person lost his soul, didn't want to eat, was indifferent to the beating and scolding, and the dead silence revealed in his eyes, all of this, only I silently endured, and I could only bear it silently.

But so what, alas, a thousand words, but emotion, not missing, it's just that life is monotonous and boring, and the silk threads in my heart float out, and finally, I wish you happiness, Miss Wu, although you will never know, there is such a fool.

10 November 2017