Ah San's words were like steel needles, and they happened to hit the most fatal part of my heart.

So at the moment I'm feeling uncomfortable, very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable.

In fact, since the blockade incident on the highway, Lao Gu and I have speculated more than once about Chen Zhonghai, but out of some psychological effect, I have always been reluctant to believe that the truth of the matter will really be the case.

But when the current series of events happened, and I finally couldn't deceive myself anymore, I have to admit that I couldn't accept it.

Under the sun, I can still recall the first time I met in the corridor of the municipal hospital, the ordinary-looking and modest Chen Zhonghai; Chen Zhonghai, who was going to cut Cai Liang's hand for me because I was slapped in the face; Chen Zhonghai, who walked and chatted with me, talked about his past and the principles of life, and was like a brother and father to me; Chen Zhonghai, who was forced to pretend to be down, lived in my house for a long time... That Chen Zhonghai, who actually doesn't care about my life or death at all.

Indeed, as Ah San said, that day on the highway, if someone was a little lazy, I would have to hit at least one or two bullets.

I'm not one of them, and even if I haven't tried it myself, I know that I certainly don't have the physical ability to resist bullets like them.

Even the most ordinary guns, the most ordinary bullets, are enough to kill me.

How did he end up like this? In order to get the use value of Lao Gu and them, for his own 'whitewashing', I, Brother Chao, Chen Haobei, is our life really nothing in his eyes?

I suppressed the feeling that I might explode at any moment and walked towards my house, got into the elevator, went upstairs, only to find that my door was open.

When I got closer, I saw that Xiaoyu was sitting in my living room.

Seeing my appearance, Xiaoyu smiled playfully and said, "Do you want to wash your face first?" ”

I nodded, and at the same time asked a little choked, "Why don't you come in and not knock?" I didn't lose anything at home, did I? ”

Xiao Yuyi shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Okay, you can still joke, it seems that you are in good shape... Xiaoshuang said that you were in a bad mood, and she asked me to come over and enlighten you. ”

I didn't ask him how he talked to Xiao Shuangtong, anyway, either on his mobile phone or with their voices, they could complete enough content to communicate in a fairly short time.

So I didn't pursue it much, and left him without seeing anything and went into the bathroom.

Wash your face, put water, soak your face in cold water, and soak your head.

My face has been wet for a long time, and I don't know if there are tears that have secretly fallen from the opportunity.

When I was finally sure that my emotions were stable enough, I wiped my face clean, walked out of the bathroom, returned to the living room, and sat down on the chair next to Xiaoyu.

"In response to your symptoms, let's have a conversation and treatment, come, tell Dr. Yu about your thoughts."

Xiaoyu teased straight to the point.

I thought about it carefully, then took a deep breath and said, "I've been a kid..."

"You have never received true fatherly love since you were a child, and the word 'father' is a disaster with no end in sight for you. For a long time, you were most envious of the children of single-parent families without a father, or even orphans without a father or mother, right? ”

Xiaoyu interrupted me, but what he said was exactly what I wanted to say, so I could only nod my head in agreement and not make any rebuttals.

"Later, when you grow up, you realize that not all 'fathers' are the same as your alcoholic father, and for many other children, the word 'father' has a completely different meaning than your understanding, so you start to rethink all of this. When you find out that the reason why your father is so painful for you is only because he is not a qualified father, and how important a qualified father is to a family, you begin to desire to receive normal fatherly love like other children from normal families, right? ”

Xiaoyu continued, I digested it, and I could only continue to nod.

"But you also find that it is impossible to get the kind of normal fatherly love from your own father that other children can easily have, so you are very desperate all the time, and you don't know what to do, what to do. You're still afraid of being seen that you're so 'lacking in love', so you disguise yourself with a quirky personality, until you meet Chen Zhonghai, and in him, you gradually find that you seem to have found the feeling that you have been longing for since you were a child, but you have never gotten it, right? ”

I continued to nod my head, and Xiaoyu continued.

"He protects you, takes care of you, tells you stories about his youth, and teaches you how to be a human being, and the key is that the great image he showed from the beginning happens to be the opposite of your biological father. And the desire and inability to ask for fatherly love makes you naturally think that this person who is completely opposite to your biological father gives you the feeling that you have been looking for but cannot find the father's love, right? Even if he doesn't have the slightest blood relationship with you and has never been involved in your upbringing before, you do find that feeling in him, right? ”

I couldn't refute it, because I didn't want to, so I could only nod my head.

"So for him, you showed the greatest tolerance you could, you can accept that he is not a good person in the traditional sense, you can accept that he is a gangster, you can even accept that he has killed people, set fires, no matter how much he has done things that are contrary to values, you think it is understandable and acceptable. But just like a dick silk spare tire in his love world, the only thing you can't accept is his disregard for you. When you have to face this fact, you can't accept it, it turns out... In fact, like your biological father, he doesn't take you seriously at all, in their eyes, even your life and death are not a matter worth paying attention to, and for them, you have no value at all. ”

My nose was a little sore, and my eyes were a little hot.

"Alas, in fact, the reason why Gu Ye is so good to you chosen children is that he wants you to put this kind of emotion on him, tell me, in addition to those vain life principles and a bunch of empty checks, what else did Chen Zhonghai give you? Money? Does he have as much as the old master gave you? Care? Does he care about you as much as Gu Ye? Consider your feelings? Does he have the old master to do it properly? Why do you think you're so obsessed with him? It's not just you, that kid in Haobei is also lacking in this matter, and the lack is not light! ”

After Xiaoyu said this with a little complaint, I suddenly felt a little touched, yes, what did Chen Zhonghai give me? Compared to Lao Gu, he almost didn't give me any substantial help.

No, he helped me kill the people who hurt Wang Yang in the first place.

But... It seems that this is the only thing, and this thing was done in exchange for his 'staying' with me, and it still can't be compared to the kindness of Lao Gu to me.

Though... Lao Gu's kindness to me is also like Aunt Li at the beginning, there is a purpose.