I took a deep breath and said in my throat, "This story is old and scary, I'm afraid that after you listen to it, you will be scared at night." ”

Su Yao: "Your face is what makes me urinate on the kang." Thinking about it, it didn't feel right, the little girl's cheeks turned red and kicked me twice.

I'll start talking: In November, the Great Khing'an Mountains were covered by heavy snow.

A miserable zombie, dressed in the official uniform of the Qing Dynasty, slanted and came to the front of Tunzi at the foot of the mountain.

When the zombies entered the village, there were two yellow-skinned people standing on a tree next to them.

One said to the other: "Look at that 2B, the one who came from Kanto, pinched the mother, we don't know why it ran here?" ”

The other said, "I bet with you, it won't survive in the spring, do you see this snow is deep?" Lao Qitou was buried in the snow for a ginseng one night, and died miserably, this winter is cold in the evil door, and I estimate that there will be heavy snow in a few days. ”

I spoke in a northeastern accent, imitating the voices of the two yellow skins at the same time, and made Su Yao laugh: "And then?" ”

I went on to say that the zombies ignored the two little yellow skins.

It's a person with an identity, and it doesn't care about the B words of those lonely ghosts.

Soon, the zombie's footsteps became difficult, and he thought: "These two yellow skins are not things, let him really say it, why is the snow in the Northeast so big?" ”

"Are you blind? Where to step on it? ”

On the way into Tunzi, the zombie stepped on a snake.

The zombie hurriedly apologized: "I'm sorry big brother, I don't have food in my stomach, I'm in a hurry to go into the tunzi to find meat to eat, big brother I'm sorry, I'm embarrassed." ”

The snake was amused when he heard it: "You people from other places, didn't I say, even if you are shabby, you dare to come here?" Do you have a big heart? ”

The zombie's frightened face turned pale: "I'm in the mainland, they can't control my ......"

Snake: "Can that compare?" Is the metaphysical environment a level? ”

The zombie nodded desperately, the snake wrapped around it, and licked its face with a letter: "Brother, you can get along with me, just our tunzi, as long as you don't run into the bear blind, you mention my name!" Give you enough pictures, you have a word, I will drive a tractor and bring fifty brothers to support you in the scene, if you want to survive in our place, you have to be a social person, mixed with society, you know? ”

The zombie gasped, and cold sweat flowed from his frightened face: "I heard before I came that this mess is full of social people, and it is always dangerous." ”

The snake slammed his mouth: "Is that okay?" When I was seven years old, my father took me to participate in the gang assessment, and when I went to the place, I had a look, good guys, all of them were people, and the parents were shirtless, and the tattoos on their bodies were messy and scary! All the people present wore gold chains around their necks. ”

The zombie was stunned: "The gold chain is always valuable, right?" ”

Snake: "Nonsense! In our world, the grade of the gold chain is a symbol of a person's strength, divided into four grades of heaven and earth, the lowest yellow gold chain, and the Northeast silver with a little strength, can be bought, but it will float on the water when taking a bath. ”

Su Yao couldn't hold back any longer, and laughed out coquettishly: "You hate it, why are you so funny?" ”

I said with a serious face, and the snake continued: "The gold chain of the Xuan Rank is generally the standard configuration of the outer disciples of the gang, and it will not float when taking a bath, but it will fade after a long time, and what my father wears is a gold chain of the middle grade of the Xuan Rank, and he is afraid of fading, so he usually does not dare to wear it." ”

"As for the ground-level gold chain, it is the core backbone of the gang that is qualified to wear it, and it is said that from the inside out, it is made of legendary mysterious metal, which will never fade and is priceless."

The zombie hurriedly asked, "What about the heavenly steps?" ”

The snake's face became profound: "The Heavenly Rank only appears in legends, and only a few, legendary underworld brothers, will wear it." ”

Hugging the zombie's shoulders, the snake took it to his own home: "Here, you want to mix up, the four stunts, you must be able to, brag than compare, pretend to be a social person, live broadcast plus shouting microphone." ”

"During the live broadcast, one bite of old iron, there is nothing wrong with the iron, the audience is always willing to listen, will "One Drunk Drunk" be sung?"

The zombie went to the snake's house to drink some wine, and the snake was very hospitable, and before parting, he gave the zombie a pocket of the stupid egg he stole from the hedgehog fairy.

After leaving the snake's house, the zombie got drunk, found a tree with a crooked neck, fell asleep on the ground, and found that he had a whole bag of stupid eggs and went away to the fox.

This fox snatched the damage? also left a note: "Remember the next time you are on the road, put things in your pocket - Beishan Fox Er, Fox Sixth and Fox Thirty-five, I wish you a happy and happy life, and good health." ”

Su Yao smiled: "Where did you get this story?" I couldn't breathe when I laughed. ”

The goddess smiled, and my heart was overjoyed: "It's made up." ”

Su Yao covered her mouth and smiled: "You are definitely not a good thing, you are flamboyant, and you have a hand in deceiving the little girl." ”

I said, "I don't know if my mouth is oily or not, but my tongue is really slippery, if you don't believe it, we can kiss each other." ”

Su Yao punched me with a powder punch and smashed a black circle under my eyes: "Obscene embryo!" ”

I covered my face and screamed: "Baby, do you continue to listen?" ”

Su Yao said as she walked: "You talk about it." ”

I said, when the zombie woke up, he found that the egg had been stolen, and he was furious! These little cubs are also lacking in virtue, don't let me catch them, you see I don't need to prick them with my fingernails, and the skin is all stripped by it as a hair scarf!

After dark, the zombies finally entered the tunzi, this place has good mountains and good waters, and in the future, I will put this development on hold, kill a few living people or something, maybe I can become a yin thing.

It casually found a small courtyard of a farmhouse, pushed open the door domineeringly, and yelled at the house:

"I'm a zombie, the most powerful kind of dirty thing, you hurry up and hand over your daughter, and spoil me, or I'll kill your family!"

The zombie was not ordinarily tall, and the roof trembled as soon as he roared.

It was very satisfied with its performance, and as soon as the words fell, it heard a click, and the courtyard door behind it automatically closed.

An old lady with a sharp face came out of the house, wearing a big cotton jacket, and the old lady smiled at the zombies:

"It's great that you're here, my daughter is looking to get married, girl, don't be shy, meet your future husband!"

A large female mouse popped up in the room, black and hairy, with bared teeth and grinning, like an old sow.

The zombie's eyes went black and he fainted.

"Since then, the zombie has become the son-in-law of the mouse family, married the mouse girl, and started a happy life."

After telling the story, I had the courage to hug Su Yao, imitating the tone of the old lady in the story:

"Girl, don't be shy, meet your husband."

Su Yao's face turned red, she broke free, tore my hair and slapped me, and kicked me in the face with her beautiful legs.

Of course I can dodge and even resist, but there is no need, I honestly stand in place and give Su Yao a violent beating, which is a terrible beating.

Sound! Syllable!

An old man who sold sweet potatoes passing by couldn't stand it anymore, and pointed at Su Yao and shouted: "Did the guy recruit you to provoke you?" Why are you beating people like that? ”

A few minutes later, when Su Yao was discouraged, I rubbed my swollen cheeks, followed her and asked, "Old sister, is my story good?" ”

"You're so funny, I can't breathe when I laugh." Su Yao's pink little face showed a hint of a smile.

As soon as I saw that there was a play, I hurriedly pursued the victory: "Then look, can we deal with each other?" ”

"Next life."

Back in the villa in the suburbs, Su Yao locked the door and locked me out.

In the cold wind, I left her house in high spirits, and my heart felt great sadness.

After returning home, I sent a WeChat message to Su Yao: "What is the goddess doing? ”

Su Yao: "I beat you and sweated, and I was taking a bath." ”

Half an hour later, I asked, "What are you doing?" ”

A red exclamation mark appears on the screen indicating that the message was sent.

She actually blocked me?

This stimulated my fighting spirit, and I immediately called the driving school, borrowed a car, and I went to the labor market to find two buried old men, and I personally drove them to Su's house.

Hand a loudspeaker to each of them, I roughly commanded, and then retreated to the back to watch the show.

The two gentlemen took my money and began to shout into the loudspeaker: "Su Yao, I miss you!" I miss you...... I want to sleep! ”

"Su Yao, I want to be good to you!"

As soon as I shouted two voices, I shocked the little girl out, and the end was naturally needless to say, I was beaten by her tearing her hair again, and the newly bought electric horn was snatched away and crushed.

"Next time you come back, I'll cut you with a knife!" She blushed, gave me a few cold glances, and turned to go into the house.

That night, I slept very unsteadily, tossing and turning, thinking about Su Yao, and woke up the next morning with tears in the corners of my eyes.

After getting up, I called Zhu Feiyue, and the ringtone of this goods still has a unique taste: "Fighting alone for love, I have long had enough of the bitterness of love." ”

After the phone was connected, I said in a hoarse voice: "Your single love song, my heart is broken when you sing it." ”

Zhu Feiyue's daughter-in-law didn't have anything to do, she took care of the road and soil, and was waiting for him at home, after the couple reunited, Zhu Feiyue was in a good mood:

"Call Su Yao over, and I'll show you both your cooking skills."

I shook my head and sighed, telling him about Su Yao's amnesia, Zhu Feiyue listened to it, and laughed at me evilly:

"Greetings to the beloved goddess good morning, good night, even a hundred days of greetings, what will be the result? I don't need to talk about the fate of licking the dog, right? ”

My scalp tingled: "Then what should I do?" ”