A slight drizzle moistens all things silently, but it gives people the illusion of sadness.

Perhaps this is a sentimental person's misunderstanding of nature's disease-free moaning, but if there is no sense of sadness, how can this autumn rain "in the sound of sleeping rain" be misunderstood as a sad thing?

No one could answer this question, but perhaps Lin Yunqian also felt a little like this at this time.

Today, for the first time, he did not go home with Wen Yifan, but investigated by himself until almost evening, and then returned home.

- How can I face him now?

That's the question he thought about along the way.

- If you tell him everything, he will feel sad......

- What would it be like for such a calm person, a calm person like a teacher, to be sad?

He didn't know.

If you analyze it from a rational point of view, it may be a good idea to tell him. Because after his analysis in all aspects, the probability that Wen Yifan is a "writer" is no more than 0.1%, the probability of being a writer's pawn is about 35%, and the rest of the probability is that he is just an ordinary person.

Ordinary...... Talented.

He has been called a genius since he was a child, and there are few, if not very few, people who can be his sweetheart. But after these days of getting along, he had to admit that Wen Yifan was a genius with a talent comparable to him.

So, for the first time, he was so eager to make friends with someone.

True friends.

Because of this, he didn't know how to deal with this matter - if Wen Yifan was just an ordinary help to him, he could have arranged the back road and told him all this, betting on the 65% probability.

But now, this is a friend worth befriending, so he can't allow himself to treat Wen Yifan the way he treats a chess piece - even if he is really an ordinary person, how will he think about the death of his parents who have been missing for four years?

"Squeak-" With a nervous mood, the door was slowly pushed open, Wen Yifan followed the prestige, and saw Lin Yunqian slowly walking from the door.

- It's so dangerous, almost just hang up, and he comes back here. Just he looks, a little depressed?

Observing his expression silently, Wen Yifan just smiled slightly and said, "How is it, how did you feel on the first day of work?" ”

- He shouldn't have known that his family members were all killed......

- Or is it that in the past four years, as calm as he is, he has already expected this situation?

Looking at Wen Yifan, who was smiling beautifully in front of him, a little heartache rose in his heart.

After hesitating for a long time, he finally didn't tell him everything, maybe because he couldn't fully trust him at the moment, or just didn't want to hurt his heart, Lin Yunqian finally chose to hide the truth.

"It's fine, but for some reason, there's a question that keeps bothering me." After a moment of silence, he finally let out a long sigh and said, "Speaking of which, where is Wen Qingyu now?" ”

"She went out with her classmates, don't worry, I just spoke with her on the phone. After all, she is one of the few relatives I have, and I will definitely always have her safety at heart. Wen Yifan smiled, and then asked, "So, would you mind sharing that question with me?" Maybe we can talk about it together, just like we did on the first day we met. ”

- One of the few relatives...... Maybe it's a kind of kindness to keep a little illusion for him......

"Are people born to hurt each other?" Frowning slightly, Lin Yunqian asked softly: "Or, is the meaning of our birth only to hurt each other, and in the end, only one party can recover?" ”

- Can only hurt ...... Each other?

The hand arranging the dishes slowly stopped, and Wen Yifan was silent, as if he understood his feelings a little. And Lin Yunqian stood quietly aside, but he was also patiently waiting for his answer.

"Maybe," Finally, Wen Yifan said slowly: "Sometimes, I also think about this question, do you know why?" ”

"Why?"

"Because sometimes, when I gaze at the night sky, the stars in the sky always make me want to liquidate the malice around me, whether it is someone else's or mine." He took a deep breath and said softly, "Every time I do this, I can't help but feel my own guilt—because every time, I am disappointed to find that I have done more harm to others than they have inflicted on me." This makes me wonder the meaning of my own existence. ”

- For some reason, there seems to be a kind of magic in him that allows me to think about the theories that I have already established, and this is ...... Confidant?

Slowly putting down the tableware, Wen Yifan thought, raised his eyes, and met his eyes.

"So, what about your final answer?" Enduring the heartache, Lin Yunqian asked slowly, "What is the meaning?" ”

"There is no meaning," Wen Yifan shook his head gently, "My birth is meaningless, Yunqian, I don't know why I live in this world as a human being, Professor Hannibal Lecter once said: 'Typhoid fever and swans come from the same place', but I can't understand, why no one can be perfect?" ”

- You always have a kind of magic, Lin Yunqian. It's something I can't explain—it always makes me look at myself, at what I've always believed in.

- If I had to answer, I don't know what I existed for. For good, or for evil? This is a question that only I can answer. However, I am the only one who is least qualified to answer......

"You seem to be a person who likes to examine yourself very much, and you can answer so perfectly every time," Lin Yunqian looked at him with a forced smile and said: "Actually, I can teach you a method - you can imagine that you can go back in time before you fall asleep, and examine what can be improved in the behavior of the day, which may be a good way." ”

"Only positive people will constantly examine themselves and seek improvement." Wen Yifan smiled and shook his head, "It's a pity that I'm not such a person." ”

"If I had to describe one doctrine, it would be nihilism. This negativity is not an obstacle to success, as the general public thinks, but more like a self-masturbating drug for me. A sly smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, and he continued: "I don't know if you can understand how sad it is for a person who was born without pursuit—there is nothing attractive to him. Anything is at your fingertips, you don't need to pursue anything, you can only watch others look hysterical, but you can't get even the slightest bit of empathy. This is me, Yun Qian. ”

"Being a teacher was just a whim of mine – the money my parents had left me was enough to spend my life comfortably. In fact, I had no idea what I wanted or where I was going. You can only use the time that others can run forward to chase their dreams, and enjoy the scenery along the way. With his hands in his pockets, he stood quietly in front of Lin Yunqian, and there was a little loneliness between his words: "This should be nihilism - it is precisely because of this that I think it is meaningless to discuss my own good and evil." ”

- instead of wrestling with the sea in a storm, it is better to lie quietly on the bed, thinking about nothing, doing nothing; Just looking at the stars in the sky and feeling the ups and downs of the sea - even if it sinks to the bottom of the sea, it is not a bad ending. That's what it is...... Pointless.

- Meaningless living, meaningless chasing, and finally forgotten and turned into a meaningless tombstone - my life is meaningless, why bother mediocrity?

"Nihilism, in my opinion, is the reflection on meaning that goes deep into the essence and finds no meaning. However, there is no meaning in talking about meaning in itself, and it is better to face up to existence itself when you are mired in meaning. Lin Yunqian smiled and followed his words: "Since everything around us exists, even if we are all brains in a bucket, then the brain also exists, and the worst thing is that the 'I' we are aware of exists." ”

"That's why, I don't think nihilism is a bad thing." The two of them looked at each other and smiled, and the originally slightly oppressive atmosphere seemed to be relieved, "However, just now, you seem to have mentioned a few interesting details that have given me some inspiration - we might as well try to examine the first question you asked with human subjective thinking, how about it?" ”

"Good way," Lin Yunqian nodded, and said with a smile: "So, let's talk about my opinion first, I think that people's subjective consciousness is like a projector, and your subjective perception of the world is your brain's simulation of the real world, but because it is only a projector, this simulation must not be real." Objectivity, on the other hand, can make people influence each other and eventually get closer to the truth. ”

As the night deepened, a darkening black enveloped the land, like a huge curtain that covered the entire city.

"It may not be accurate to attribute this to objectivity alone." Lin Yunqian shook his head, as if he wanted to overturn the original generalization, and continued: "In my opinion, objective consciousness is only one of the factors, and the exploration of science and the deep digging of the truth are the directions that push the reality of the simulation closer to the truth, which is the most important factor in getting closer to the truth." As for the computers invented by human beings, they are just simulated 'human simulations', but since they are simulations, they must not be real. Because of this, computers are incapable of perceptual thinking, or objective consciousness. ”

"In this way, will not all discussions about good and evil become meaningless?" Wen Yifan shook his head, "If everything is false, how can I know that everything I know is true?" ”

"We don't really need to know, Yifan." Lin Yunqian looked at the night sky that was gradually darkening, and sighed: "If we keep clinging to the truth and falsehood around us, then we will eventually be unable to trust anything in countless suspicions. That will make you unapproachable, and eventually you will suffer from gains and losses, and you will lose yourself completely. ”

- Completely losing one's self...... Is it?

- After all, who I am now, will anyone remember?

Wen Yifan couldn't help but show a wry smile.

No one will remember.

People only know that his name is Wen Yifan, or Xu Huanying, or something else, but who remembers the original name?

Maybe I can't tell his real name......

If the mask is worn for a long time, it will eat back against it. And what is left under the countless layers of masks?

An empty shell that has fallen into nihilism.

- I don't know how to face all this, Lin Yunqian, I can't even tell what kind of feelings I have for you...... I don't know, what can I do without being a "writer". Even if I have so many skills, even if I have eyes that can see all people's hearts, will I still be able to ...... Do you still have the courage to return to the society called "human"?

— as a ...... "human".

"Being obsessed with the good and evil of the people around you is nothing more than the behavior of mediocrity. In this way, we will lose our selves and become susceptible to being swayed by others. As if sensing his wry smile, Lin Yunqian said in a gentle voice: "This applies everywhere - the temperature of the human heart is never easy to measure, Yifan, I have ever seen the most cruel criminal, and I have ever seen the kindest policeman, what they have in common is that they are all human." This may be a question worth pondering, but if you want to know what I think, you can understand that we should not be attached to what others think of us, or what others do about certain things. In this world, no one can take care of everything, everything we are doing is actually measuring and discarding. Therefore, there is no need to be stuck in the good and evil imposed on you by others, and you can know yourself whether you are warm or cold. ”

——Self-knowledge of cold and warm...... Do you want me to know myself?

- But...... Isn't that something I've been thinking about? Why should I accept the views imposed on me? For so many years, although I have always said that I don't care, but those stories that I have recorded in my notes, have there been a few moments that have never touched me? This is obviously impossible, because if a writer has created something that he cannot convince himself, then how can he convince others?

- This is the case, and it is only now that I have truly discovered that I have long lost the courage to face my sins, and even if I am not afraid of death, I try my best to avoid the day when my sins will be revealed to the world.

- But why am I sure that all this is sinful?

It's just a view imposed on me by someone else......

— including recent anxiety...... Recent outrage...... Isn't all my recent troubles because I'm afraid of failure, I'm afraid of everything being made public?

- If I am not afraid at all, then the mentality at this moment will definitely not be half impetuous!

In an instant, countless past events crossed Wen Yifan's mind. At this moment, he was surprised to find that his current self was completely different from the "writer" who was not afraid of any challenge. He didn't know what had happened to him to become so sentimental.

The original "writer" did not have fear.

- Thank you...... Lin Yunqian, it was you who made me look at everything about myself in a real sense. If there is no threat from the "heir" at this moment, I really want to share all this truth with you. Unfortunately, if I lose this game, you will also be arrested for covering up...... Sorry, I can't tell you everything yet.

His eyes slowly regained their original brightness, and he was completely calm at the moment. The evil that had plagued him was swept away, and all that was left was peace.

"I think, your question, I found the answer."

Calmly saying this, he finally smiled again, and unlike before, this smile was a comfortable smile.

"Do you know mushrooms? Lin Yunqian? Smiling and looking at the potted plant on the windowsill, the roots of the plant, with a few mushrooms growing on it, "This fungus always appears in cold and damp places, which doesn't seem to be a good match for a bright villa." ”

"That's why I hate mushrooms, because they always remind me of something corrupt, or something bad. Anyway, if I had to pick one nasty thing, mushrooms would definitely be among them. Fingers lightly touched the umbrella-like appearance of the mushroom, and Wen Yifan chuckled.

"So why not just pluck its roots? In that case, will you not eradicate this darkness? Lin Yunqian asked.

"That's the problem, Yunqian, I'm reluctant to take it off." He sighed lightly, "In my opinion, there is nothing good or bad about mushrooms in themselves. It just grows quietly, and my preferences can't control its fate - it has done nothing wrong, isn't it cruel to be deprived of its value just because of my disgust? ”

"But if I were a human being, I could choose to hurt someone or treat someone well because of my personal preferences, maybe that's my ridiculousness......" Looking at Lin Yunqian quietly, he frowned slightly, "Or is it that every species will be like this, extremely cruel to its own kind, but only leave its own tenderness and give it to creatures that are not of the same kind?" Maybe that's the answer to your question......"

"Wen Yifan, you are really a very gentle person, gentle to the point of loneliness." Looking at him who was lonely in front of him, Lin Yunqian let out a long sigh, "However, thank you, you answered my doubts for me, and in return, I will also answer your doubts for you." ”

The determination in his eyes made Wen Yifan feel a little dazzling at this moment, and he almost couldn't hold back, wanting to tell him everything.

But in the end, a thousand words converged into a smile and a simple thank-you: "Thank you." ”

Other than that, there is nothing else to say.