I held on to myself and felt the wind blowing

Blowing me into the dusk like a gadfly, I don't even know it

Where the blow went, I didn't even know how I went.

There are so many things outside of me, I am infinite

So small, I walked carefully

So what if you want to lose it immediately?

How do I flatter myself to make myself believe?

In such a vastness, what can I do?

I'm too small, and I'm nothing in the wind that makes me drift away.

- Lawrence

There are really countless times in our lives when we doubt ourselves, in the dead of night, when the crowd is noisy, when we are alone, when we are hurt and abandoned, when we are famous...... In countless moments, we are all wondering ourselves: is this true, is this eternal love, is this my true heart, is this her choice? There are always so many reasons in my mind, but I can't say a real reason. Shen Qingjia hadn't been like this for a long time, and he couldn't sleep all night long. But counting today, Shen Qingjia clearly remembered that this was the fifth day that he couldn't sleep peacefully, and in two more days, he would be able to make up enough for a week. It's a very bad state. Even if Zhuang Zhou has endured it without asking you what's going on, it looks like he hasn't gotten enough sleep every morning; It can't make Shen Qingjia feel that today is actually a day full of vitality. Self-deception is not at all.

The biggest problem is that she actually seems to be asleep. The problem is that I can't sleep at all, and when I think too much, I feel too irritable and restless.

*

In the end, I went to Song Fusheng's Dijing Garden first.

Everyone needs to take a shower first to clear up physically and emotionally.

Shen Qingjia changed into a set of clean clothes and came out, and Song Fusheng and Zhuang Zhou were already downstairs. Everyone's state is much better than before. Maybe it's time to sit down and have a good talk.

"This outfit suits you perfectly." Zhuang Zhou said to Shen Qingjia with a smile. Shen Qingjia is wearing a white lace long-sleeved dress today, which is clean and temperamental. This dress was bought by Song Fusheng when Shen Qingjia first came to Zilin. At that time, I bought a lot of clothes, but Shen Qingjia didn't take them with him when he moved out.

"Thank you."

Although Shen Qingjia answered Zhuang Zhou's question, her heart was on Song Fusheng.

"If you don't want to live with me, then take all these clothes with you. Take everything you like. Or we can go to the mall now and buy some clothes, shoes, etc. Song Fusheng said.

"No, I don't. I'll take a few with me. "Shen Qingjia is still stubborn in the end.

"Whatever you want." Song Fusheng's voice was cold.

"Zhuang Zhou, let's go." Shen Qingjia just sat for a while and said to Zhuang Zhou that he wanted to go to the new house to have a look.

"So fast? I thought we had lunch before leaving. Zhuang Zhou has already gotten up.

"I'd like to check it out sooner." Shen Qingjia said. She thought maybe she needed to tidy up her room or something.

"Okay. Ladies are preferred. In that case, let's go first, do you want to go together? Zhuang Zhou asked.

"I'm not going." Song Fusheng said.

"See you in a few days." Zhuang Zhou saw that the two of them entered a strange and embarrassing atmosphere inexplicably. He didn't want to say anything more, so he had to retreat with Shen Qingjia.

“……”

“……”

In the end, he still didn't say goodbye.

The backs of Zhuang Zhou and Shen Qingjia disappeared together at the end of the garden.

*

Along the way, Zhuang Zhou described to Shen Qingjia in detail the place he was going to now, and what the house was like.

Shen Qingjia now has a general impression of this future new home - a house with a good view. Maybe she didn't focus on it right, but she didn't really have any requirements for a place to live now, after all, what could she ask for now.

"Zhuang Zhou, don't you live here?" Shen Qingjia suddenly remembered something.

"You're going to find it inconvenient for me to live here." Zhuang Zhou said with a smile. He also looks good when he laughs.

"Your home you are free. I'm really embarrassed if I inconvenience you because of me. You don't have to worry about me. Just go at your usual pace. Shen Qingjia said.

"I mean, I still have a house next to it, so you don't have to worry about me." Zhuang Zhou said.

"Didn't you live here?" Shen Qingjia asked.

"When I came out to play, I lived here, and I didn't live permanently. But it's been managed, it's clean, you can rest assured. Zhuang Zhou said.

"That's not what I meant." Shen Qingjia didn't know why, and felt that the topic was off track now.

"I know. Ha ha. I live downstairs, you live upstairs. Do you think that's okay? Zhuang Zhou knew that if he continued to talk about it, he might be exposed, so he quickly ended the topic.

"That's all. Please take care of me in the coming days. Shen Qingjia said seriously.

"Take care of each other, take care of each other."

Zhuang Zhou was a little embarrassed to say this.

"Although you don't want to talk about your grades, I still take the liberty of asking you how you did on the exam?" Zhuang Zhou asked.

"I don't know. That's my truth. I was in a daze. Shen Qingjia said. As she said herself, she really wasn't lying.

"Believe in yourself. After the exam, no one can do anything. ”

"I've heard that some people will choose to repeat it."

"I'm hypothetical oh hypothetical, if you fail the test, will you want to repeat it?"

"I don't want to."

Looking at Shen Qingjia who answered without thinking, Zhuang Zhou was a little surprised at first, but after thinking about it, if this question was changed to asking himself, he should answer the same way - he didn't plan to repeat it.

"You don't ask me why?" Without waiting for Zhuang Zhou to ask the next question, Shen Qingjia asked him himself.

"There is no why. I just assumed it myself, and I made the same choice as you. As a result, I found that I couldn't tell why. So so be it. Zhuang Zhou said.

"What you're saying is true." Shen Qingjia smiled without baggage.

"I'm a real person." Zhuang Zhou smiled.

After two or three hours of driving, we finally arrived at the villa in the suburbs.

"That white house is your future home." Zhuang Zhou said.

"That's your home, I'm just borrowing it." Wherever she was, she knew she would be a passerby henceforth. She still didn't dare to think that she could afford to own such a luxurious villa, even if she worked in the future, it would not be so easy.

Zhuang Zhou just smiled shallowly and did not speak. He can't tell her that from now on this is your personal house, your home. You are its owner.

*

After the college entrance examination, Hua Bijin was not as happy as he imagined. Originally, she thought she would be super happy, you must know that she has been looking forward to this day all along. And now it's like this? Actually, it's none of her business. She really wanted to convince herself like this, but Shen Qingjia's collapse and crying in the examination room still scared her. What the hell is going on? What the hell happened to her? Countless questions swirled in the minds of the flowers.

The worst thing is that Shen Qingjia's phone still can't get through. It's not her style. Shen Qingjia's phone was never turned off. What the hell is going on?

I really can't figure it out.

"Hey. Your college entrance examination is over, why have you been curled up at home. "My sister has been at home since the holidays.

"It has nothing to do with you." Hua Bijin said dissatisfiedly.

"After the college entrance examination is over, shouldn't everyone go out to party? Bring your good sisters. Shen Qingjia is not going? Hua Yan said.

"I haven't contacted her again."

"Then you can call and ask."

"How do you know I'm not calling? Besides, you really like to be nosy, sister? ”

"I guess people don't want to pay attention to you."

"What does this have to do with you? How do you know? ”

"I'm talking nonsense."

“……”

For Hua Yan's sometimes style, I can't describe it in words. Her sister is really bored sometimes.

After Hua Yan drank the water upstairs, Hua Bijin called Shen Qingjia again......

Originally, Hua Bijin didn't have much hope that someone would answer.

Life seems to be like this, when you are a Buddha and face a lot of things, everything will inexplicably progress in a better direction. This time, Shen Qingjia's phone was answered.

"Hey. Is it Qingjia? "I asked knowingly, but I still asked.

"Brocade. It's me. "It's long overdue, and now we can't continue to run away.

"You've finally answered the phone. Where have you been these days? Did you go straight home? I've always wondered what happened to you during the college entrance examination? Hua Yijin said all the doubts in her heart.

"I'm at home." Shen Qingjia tried, but still couldn't say anything about his family so meaninglessly. So he simply replied to the flowery words.

“…… I know you're home. I want to ask if you have anything to hide from me, are you crying because you didn't do well in the exam? In fact, I don't know why I'm so obsessed with asking for an answer.

"Both. I'm fine, I'll know when the results come out. ”

"Are you really okay?" Hua Yijin actually didn't believe it, because Shen Qingjia didn't seem to be such a fragile person, would she really cry so desperately because of losing the exam? She didn't think so. But she couldn't think of any other reason.

Results have always been very important to Shen Qingjia.

When you think about it this way, you can figure it out.

"It's fine. Qingjia. After all the exams are over, everything will be fine. "I don't seem to know how to comfort people. It has always been Shen Qingjia who comforted himself.

"yes, everything will be fine." Shen Qingjia echoed.

"See you in a few days. I wish you all the best. Shen Qingjia said. She didn't know what else to say. It was at this moment that she realized that her emotions had not really adjusted. The pain of losing her family is still ingrained in her heart.

"Well, well. Don't overthink it. After holding it for a long time, he said something like this. Hua Yijin hung up the phone, and Zhihu still felt a little hard to believe Shen Qingjia's words. That's when her mom came in.

"Mom." Hua Yijin called out to her, ready to go back to her room.

"Did you just talk to Shen Qingjia? This girl is fine now. It's pretty strong. Mother Hua said.

"Mom. What is called good. What happened to her? Hua Bijin stopped and asked her mother by the way.

"Huh? You still don't know? "Mother Flower was very surprised.

"I don't know. What do I need to know? "The flowers are confused.

"It's the news some time ago. Isn't there a fire in her house? She was the only one left in their family now. Hey~ It's also pitiful. I don't even know whether to say that her life is good or bad, and if she was at home at the time, it is not necessary that she would have died. Hey~" Mother Hua said a lot with a long sigh.

"......" Hua Rujin couldn't say a word. It was just too sudden. No wonder she's so perverse!

Hua Rujin ran back to his room, turned on the computer and began to search for news on the Internet, but it was useless to enter a lot of keywords, and he didn't see any news, not even a single gossip message.

Aha, Zhuang Zhou, don't look at me, don't look at me. I'm not good at language, don't think about giving me this task. Hua Rujin hurriedly waved her hand.

"I don't think it has to be gorgeous. Anyway, the wish in our hearts is to hope that we will always be together. Then write that we are going to be together all the time. How nice is that. It felt particularly motivating. Haha~" Shen Qingjia said with a smile.

I want to be with you all the time, no matter where you choose to go after graduation, or I want to be together in the future. Always been together. Never separated.

That's what Shen Qingjia thought.

"I agree." Song Fusheng was the first person to express his approval.

Zhuang Zhou raised his hand and said, "I also think it's good." Although I don't think it's bad to have a friendship that lasts forever. ”

"It's good that friendship lasts forever. Then follow Zhuang Zhou's meaning. It's all you want. The good meaning is very good. It's all right. Shen Qingjia said. Shen Qingjia was not attached to the words she thought. It's good to write anything anyway, and the meaning is the same, isn't it?

Shen Qingjia didn't mind.

But Song Fusheng actually objected.

Song Fusheng said: "I still prefer Shen Qingjia's proposal. ”

"You care about this?" When Song Fusheng was about to leave, the head teacher asked him, "It doesn't seem to have much to do with you, right?" ”

"Teacher. You are not right. As a class teacher, this incident should have the greatest impact on you, that is, it has the greatest relationship with you. But what did you do? So don't take it lightly. Everyone has their own choice, not so many whys. Song Fusheng showed a gentlemanly smile to the head teacher.

The head teacher was speechless.

Even if he was sarcastically irresponsible, there was no complaint to say, because this student was not wrong, he was indeed worried, so he did not make a more correct choice in time.

After Song Fusheng left, the head teacher stayed in the office for another ten minutes.

In the end he decided to follow his inner voice for once, and he decided not to be appeased this time.

Wonderful Book House