Looking at Concubine Ning's eyes, Qu Shi's heart softened almost immediately, but she staggered her gaze and still replied a little stubbornly, "...... She's not a subordinate. ”

Concubine Ning only felt a little uncomfortable in her heart, and a little puzzled, and asked, "Then what is she?" Are you a loved one, your friend? Or is it your military advisor's brain? ”

“…… No, neither. ”

"And what is she?"

"She's ......" Qu Shi was struck by the question for a moment, and then said slowly, "...... It's someone who can listen to me. ”

Concubine Ning only felt extremely absurd, and she looked at Qu Shi again, "What the hell are you talking about, Moon Shadow?" Do you know what you're talking about? ”

"I know, of course I do." Qu's voice gradually calmed down, she stood up, and slowly walked towards the temple gate, "Some words may be a little ridiculous...... For more than a month, although I still have the same headache, the same lack of appetite, the same bad sleep at night and can't wake up during the day, I feel that some things have changed. ”

"What's the difference?"

“…… What do you think? Qu Shi turned around and looked at Concubine Ning calmly.

Concubine Ning was silent for a moment.

She did feel a little different, but it was too subtle to explain.

The previous Qu Shi was like an iron sword slowly corroding, but now she can occasionally see some of the former edges in Qu Shi's eyes, as if the rust of the past is slowly being polished and polished.

But...... It was only a very occasional moment, and it didn't last long—sometimes I felt that Qu was better the day before, and the next day Qu was lying in the Chengqian Palace and didn't go out, and no one wanted to see him.

"You probably don't know, after all, I didn't mention it to you." Qu Shi said softly, "During this time, my mother and brother don't know how much news they passed to me, and the emperor cut off their way of writing letters, so they changed their ways, saying that their father was sick today, and saying that their mother was infected with a cold tomorrow, and said how Qu Xiu repented, and had locked himself in the house for three or four days without eating......

"Phew." Concubine Ning took a sip gently.

Qu Shi was amused by Concubine Ning's reaction, and after laughing, he sighed lightly and leaned against the door, "...... It's actually still hard. ”

"She helped you refuse?" Concubine Ning asked.

Qu shook his head, "...... How can Bai Ling have a position to do this, my family affairs can only be handled by myself, but this is the first time that I will not give an inch, no matter how bitter their words are, I will not accept them all again, I will take everything apart and think about what these things are for......"

"You should let them taste your awesomeness as soon as possible, clean up your foolish brother, let them suffer from you, and know your thunder methods, they will know that they are awesome!"

“…… I can't. ”

"You don't have to do it at the beginning, you're not in a good state now, just hold it off and wait until the future-"

"I can't do it." Qu said it again.

Ning Concubine looked at Qu's back, she was standing by the door alone, looking at the streamer in the distance, Ning Concubine suddenly felt a little sad about this scene.

"What I've wanted most over the years, I've only recently really figured it out." Qu spoke softly.

Ning Concubine locked her eyebrows, "What is it?" ”

Qu Shi didn't look back, "...... When I was pregnant with Ato, I had a dream. When I was a child, I dreamed of my mother. She smiled at me in her dreams and asked me to help her go with her to see the pear blossoms in the yard. ”

“…… And then what? ”

"We sat down on the stone steps in the courtyard, and after a while, she asked me to rest on her lap, she gently patted me on the back and hummed a song to lull me to sleep. It was at this time that the pear blossom fell, on her shoulder, on mine. ”

Qu Shi took a light breath, "...... In fact, when I was very young, I heard that there was an orchard on Donglin Mountain, and the garden was full of pear and peach trees, and many people would enjoy the flowers there in spring, which was very beautiful. I pestered her for a while when I was a child, wanting to go with her, and she agreed, but in the end it was my eldest brother who took me over. She wasn't in the mood to appreciate this kind of wind and moon, and she would promise me that it was just a whim, I already knew.

"It was late spring, the pear blossoms were almost finished, and there was no one in the orchard. But I'll never forget the day when I was standing under the tree, and suddenly there was a gust of wind, and a lot of petals fell on me," Qu said softly, "and I thought it would be nice if my mother was here." ”

Qu Shi looked back at Concubine Ning, "And in that previous dream, when I was tired of running and resting on her lap, I heard her say to me, 'Moon Shadow has really helped me a lot over the years.'" As soon as she said this, the dream woke up. ”

Concubine Ning thought for a while, "Do you want Old Madam Qu's approval......?" ”

Qu Shi didn't answer directly, she raised her head and whispered, "I must be the person who knows her best in the world, her heart is made of iron and stone." You do well, and she'll take it all for granted; But if you don't do it well, you will definitely get a scolding on your head.

"Once she treats you as one of her own, she will be extremely you. Because that's how she does it to herself. So I actually knew that no matter how much I did, I wouldn't be able to hear a word of praise from her......"

"If you know, why are you—"

"yes, I know, but I just want to." Qu Shi smiled bitterly, "For so many years, I have been waiting for that sentence, just to hear her say, 'Really my good daughter', I want her to say it, I have done so much, why can't she see it?" ”

Concubine Ning sighed, "Moon Shadow, I've told you this many times, you really ...... It's really easy to get into the horns. ”

Qu Shi didn't refute, she just smiled faintly, "I talked to Bai Ling about this dream several times, she asked me a question at that time, and we discussed it for a long time. ”

“…… What the? ”

"What would happen if one day, my mother did give this recognition?"

Qu Shi looked away and looked at the courtyard of Chengqian Palace again, "I seriously talked to her about various possibilities that day...... If my mother had given me a little more recognition, she would never have been able to get used to my choices like she is now. Always trying to tell me what's right and what's wrong.

"But actually, I'm desperately trying to get them to change, and they're desperately trying to change me, it's essentially the same. They attribute their misfortune to my lack of obedience, and I attribute my misfortune to being too controlling, and in this case, like them, I don't know whose responsibility is for a thing. I can be myself, they can be unhappy, and no one has to meet anyone's expectations. ”

Qu said softly, "That's the first thing I've figured out lately. ”

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