I feel good about myself, and I always feel that what I write will definitely be popular, even if it is not popular today, it will definitely be popular when it has exposure one day in the future.

What I'm waiting for is the high-traffic recommendation slot that the editor is willing to give.

However, the recommendation never came.

I wrote year after year, until my second child was born, and I still didn't make it. I'm terrible at writing, but I don't want to admit it.

If it weren't for that netizen who exposed my fantasies, I would still think I'm doing well.

What a failure I am.

The child is not good at taking it, writing badly, and not getting along well with his in-laws, and even getting sick, suffering from gains and losses all day long, and relying on medicine to maintain his health......

That netizen scolded right, since I have no ability and can only rely on you to support me, what right do I have to complain and complain that you didn't give me the life I wanted?

Yihui, I'm a complete loser.

But I am still proud and arrogant in my heart, I can't face my failures, I can't accept that I am just an ordinary ordinary person, or even an ordinary person.

I suffered, I struggled, I hated myself.

I'm tired too. In fact, my heart was already tired and numb.

It's tiring to take care of children, it's tiring to do housework, it's tiring to write, it's tiring to stay up late, and it's even more tiring to wait for recommendations but have disappointed expectations.

Every time I see a freshly cleaned house being soiled and messed up by children in less than ten minutes, I can't help but get angry at them and yell at them.

Every time, when I want to lie down and rest after I have done everything, and when the child pesters me to play with her, I will be irritable, and I will subconsciously lose my temper and go back to the room to lie down, no matter how heartbreaking the child cries outside the room.

Every time, when my child is asleep and wants to finish the day's writing quickly, when my son suddenly wakes up and cries, I can't help but lose my temper at him and scold him for hindering my writing. The more I scolded, the more he cried, and finally I had to give up staying up late and obediently coax him to sleep.

The interruption caused me an unrelieved pressure, so I poured that pressure on you and your child.

I'm vexatious and unreasonable, and I must have caused indelible damage to you and your children.

I guess you've had a hard time because of my existence. You're fed up with my vexatious fuss, and the kids must be tempted to get rid of me, a crazy mother.

Others are full-time mothers, mothers and children are filial at home, and they are peaceful, how did they come to me, but they are chickens flying and dogs jumping, and chicken feathers are everywhere? It's that I'm not good enough, and I'm ruining my own home. I am not worthy to be a wife, not worthy to be a mother.

But that's okay. I'm wrong, so I'll just make up my mind. For me, life is harder than death. It's just that I'm still a little greedy, and I hope that in the next life, I can have a better life, instead of being controlled by all kinds of pessimistic thoughts all the time, almost insane.

Goodbye, Yihui.

Our encounter, my combination was the biggest mistake, but at least it didn't turn out to be wrong.

You take care and take good care of your two children. Say sorry to them for me, I caused them harm.

The stars were bright tonight, and I looked at the two children who were crying and sleeping, and then at the bright street downstairs, and my heart was calmer than ever.

I knew it was the best place for me.

Xu Xiaoqin, a masterpiece.

In a not-so-long letter, Xu Xiaoqin wrote all accusations against herself. In her understanding, her unhappiness and failure were all caused by herself.

But Xu Xiaolei doesn't think so, he always feels that even if his sister really took the initiative to jump off the stairs, then Chen Yihui is also the culprit who forced her to take the initiative to jump off the stairs!

If it weren't for Chen Yihui's inability, how could his sister end up like this?

Xu Xiaolei knew that this letter was very important evidence for the police, and it was also the only proof that his sister really committed suicide, but he couldn't just hand over the letter.

Even if his sister was not killed directly by Chen Yihui, it was also killed indirectly by Chen Yihui, so no matter what, he couldn't just let Chen Yihui go.

After putting his little nephew and little niece to sleep, he cleaned up the living room and kitchen before putting the letter in his schoolbag and taking it downstairs to the photocopy shop to scan.

After that, he went back to Xu Xiaoqin's house again, used the computer to pick out the words of the letter one by one, and recomposed a new letter, and then went downstairs to print out the letter.

All night, he stayed awake and copied the printed letter more than fifty times before he rewrote it on a new piece of paper.

He was cautious, and after writing the letter, he wiped off his fingerprints, forced himself to cry, and with his tears he wet a few places where the handwriting did not quite look like his sister's, and finally dried it with a hair dryer.

Then he took the letter into the room and ran around it with the hands of the two children, until he was sure that there should be a child's fingerprint everywhere, and then he folded it and opened it, leaving his natural fingerprints.

There are so many fingerprints on this piece of paper, the police should not be able to check whether there are any fingerprints of his sister in it.

After doing all this, he tore up the letter his sister had left behind and threw it down the toilet and flushed it. He also erased all the usage records on the computer.

In order to avoid having too many dreams at night, after making sure that he did not leave any flaws, he called Han Ce as soon as possible.

At this time, it was already three o'clock in the night, and Han Ce had already fallen asleep.

When he received a call from Xu Xiaolei, Han Ce thought something big had happened, but suddenly sobered up and asked nervously, "Xu Xiaolei, what are you looking for me so late?" ”

Xu Xiaolei was very excited, and said quickly, "Brother policeman, before my sister died, she originally left a letter, which has always been in the position where my niece is sleeping, and it has been covered by the quilt. I also found out about the letter when I had just helped her cover the quilt. ”

Xu Xiaoqin left a suicide note?

Han Ce was skeptical, he felt that Xu Xiaoqin was so sad and desperate when she died, and he probably didn't have the mood to write a suicide note.

He asked, "What is written in the letter?" ”

Xu Xiaolei said, "Brother policeman, I think, you should come and see it in person." If you don't have time to come over right now, I can deliver it to you myself. ”

Han Ce refused, "No need, your two nephews and nieces still need your care, you should stay there obediently, I'll go to you now." ”

Han Ce got up quickly, he originally planned to leave quietly, but he didn't expect to wake up the aunt at home.

The aunt walked out of the room, looked at him with a worried look in her eyes and asked, "Xiao Han, are you going to investigate the case?" In the middle of the night, this is another death? ”