2019 is actually a year when we often quarrel, every time I quarrel, I don't feel that you care about me at all, I look at my phone all day at home, hoping that you can make a phone call or send a WeChat message to say a few good words, then we can reconcile.

But every time you still habitually wait for me to calm down, and I also said that when I really calm down, then you may be cold.

After every argument and no response from you, I spent the whole day thinking about how to end it, and it felt like we couldn't go on at all.

So I made up my mind again and again in my heart to give up on you, which can be regarded as letting myself go. One weekend in June, you took me to a party with your buddy, because he had just gotten married and bought a new house in the city, so everyone went to make a lot of fun for him.

Then you start playing mahjong, and I sit on the couch and play on my phone. At about eleven o'clock, I told you that I was a little hungry, and you said that I would go back to eat later, and then you saw that I was bored and asked me to play mahjong for you for a while.

I went up and bad luck, the first few are out of money, and then there is a handful I didn't see the touch card, you just sighed in the back, and then someone played out I touched it, I didn't expect to touch a bar under the house, at this time you are even more disgusted, saying that I am sick.

I've been standing behind me and sighing, and said that I said this and that, your brothers can't listen to it anymore, jokingly saying that you want to teach slowly, and I also echoed and said that I don't know, it's also good luck.

But you can't understand anything, and you keep talking about it, and when it comes to me being upset, and then I can't help it anymore, so I get off the table and let you fight by yourself.

Then I went to the balcony by myself, and in fact, looking at the neon lights outside the window, I cried uncontrollably. Why do I have to suffer some inexplicable grievances every time, why do I have to endure to give you face every time, why do I have to hang myself on your tree......... The sound of your laughter stung me one after another, and I gathered up and pretended like an actor that I didn't tell you anything

"You guys fight first, I'll go downstairs to find something to eat", and then quickly went out with his bag on his back. Your brother lives on the 20th floor, I took the elevator to the first floor to react, this is a community where to eat, and I am a road idiot, I don't know which direction to go, and then I sat stupidly on the chair in front of the building.

At that time, it was already past twelve o'clock, except for the lights in the corridor It was also dark around, I sent you a message to ask if you could go, and you asked me to call you.

Then I called you like an actor acting, and said loudly that I couldn't find my way, and there was nothing to eat downstairs, because I knew what you asked me to call, because every time you play cards, you will never be the first to ask you not to play.

After hanging up the phone, you messaged me to come down immediately, and I only felt a little cold at this time, and then I went to the underground parking lot first, and sent a message to tell you that I was waiting for you in the car.

After ten minutes you finally came down, and then one of your brothers said he wanted to take our car, and I said it was okay, I will take you where you want to go.

But the first time I went to that parking lot, you drove in and went around for a long time, and I can't remember the way that caused me to keep going around in circles in that parking lot, and your brother and I were walking and thinking about it, but you kept saying that I was stupid or not, and you were there to dislike me all sorts of things.

Originally, I was still angry, and you continued to provoke me, I endured it all the way, and your brother told you well, just find a way to get out.

Finally came out, I remember I seemed to say that you are amazing, you can't find it, and you said that you are not driving.

The two of you chatted along the way, and I didn't say a word, and then he got off the side of the road, and I continued to drive to your house.

I thought to myself, if you don't say a word to me before I arrive, then I'll drive home by myself.

In fact, I guess I also know the result, so for the sake of my dignity, I thought of a way for me to keep my own dignity.

Sure enough, you didn't say a word along the way, and I didn't bother to send you to the door, so I stopped on the side of the road and let you get out of the car, and at that moment I actually thought that as long as you said a word to let me go to your house, no matter what the tone was, I wouldn't go home, because it was more than two o'clock in the morning at that time.

But I clearly heard you say stupid, I suddenly got angry, immediately stepped on the accelerator and left, I stopped when I turned, wiped my tears, connected to the mobile phone Bluetooth and played the music loud, because I was afraid that I would fall asleep.

Then I rewinded back into the city and got on the highway, and I yelled to the music all the way, trying not to think about the process, because I was afraid that the tears would fall again and blur my vision.

Or are you awesome, I heard a message sent on WeChat on my mobile phone, I don't have to look at it and I know that you scolded me, I thought in my heart that you are really powerful, and you can still let me drive on the highway alone at two or three o'clock in the middle of the night, thinking about it, I guess you don't love me much.

Forget it, if you don't love, you won't love, and I don't want to love anymore. When I got home, I didn't have the key, my dad slept downstairs and heard me knock on the door and opened the door for me, the first thing I said was how to come back in the middle of the night, I didn't have any explanation, and went straight to the bathroom.

Looking at myself in the mirror, tears flowed down my eyes, and I couldn't find the adjectives to say about myself except for being unproductive.

Looking at the text messages on my mobile phone, sure enough, all you sent were scolding me, asking me if I was sick or something, I smiled sarcastically, you didn't even have a word of concern.

I didn't reply to your words, and immediately felt that you were not worth my effort, so I washed up and went upstairs to sleep.