Bai Ling doesn't remember much anymore, but the phrase "when the avoidance behavior is weakened, the symptoms will be reduced" sounded like something he would say.

Shen Jichuan's spirit looked a little better at this time than before.

The look of life quietly climbed into his eyes along the corners of his smiling mouth, with the weakness and kindness peculiar to old men.

"The more you try to hide it, the more you can't hide it......" Shen Jichuan half-lowered his head, with a somewhat self-deprecating smile, "Why couldn't I understand such a simple truth before......"

Bai Ling understood a little, she looked at Shen Jichuan, and suddenly realized that in Shen Jichuan's eyes, he once wanted to hide the illness and the past that he wanted to escape...... In the final analysis, it was he who was afraid to carry that "retribution".

"In the beginning...... I can't stand Kim Mingqiu's voice. Shen Jichuan said with a smile, "When it rings in my hand, I can't help but want to smash it to the ground...... Later, I came up with a solution......"

"Hmm."

"I tied it to my back and the ropes on both sides were longer, so I didn't have to worry about breaking things when I pulled the string."

"I heard Dr. Yuanshan talk about it tonight," Bai Ling tilted his head a little distressed, "he said, and he felt tormented as he watched from the sidelines. ”

"After all, the distant mountain guest is a doctor...... Shen Jichuan said in a low voice, "...... The healer is benevolent, and it is normal for him to not be able to stand it. ”

Bai Ling's body leaned forward slightly, trying to reach the Jin Mingqiu in Shen Jichuan's hand.

Seeing this, Shen Jichuan also pushed the ball towards Bai Ling's side with difficulty.

The sphere itself already has some rust stains.

“…… It's broken. Shen Jichuan said in a low voice.

"But the general still took it with him." Bai Ling raised his hand, and the metal ball felt cold to the touch, "...... Do you always have it with you, even after you've stopped dreading loud noises? ”

"Hmm."

"Why ......?"

Shen Jichuan laughed and said lightly, "Maybe it'...... I can't forget the feeling of ringing it in the first place. ”

Bai Ling grabbed the iron rings at both ends of the ball, and suddenly pulled it open, and there was a dull sound from the golden ball, like a broken bell.

Repeatedly, both of them looked at the small golden ball.

Bai Ling raised his eyes, "Let the general miss it...... What does it feel like? ”

However, Shin Jichuan still couldn't help but think back to the time when he just got Kim Mingqiu.

The shrill metal explosions whipped through his mind like whips, each blow tearing his skin apart, and the sounds aroused his most instinctive fear like a monster, and the pain was fresh and intense, and he had already made up his mind that he could not escape.

No more escape.

This is really the best punishment - Shin Jichuan clearly felt that when one kind of pain is heavier, the other pain is lighter, as if the two can repay each other.

Whether this is self-deception or self-restraint, when he finally recognized everything back then, no longer made any excuses for his mistakes, and did not make any assumptions about his original choice, he did feel much better.

When he didn't even realize it, he changed a burden for himself in the bottom of his heart. Although this is no better than the previous load, those inexplicable fears from before are gone.

He was completely convinced of the guilt he should bear, and when he took action again, he felt light.

All these thoughts followed Bai Ling's question and instantly slipped through Shen Jichuan's mind.

He opened his mouth slightly, thinking about where to start, but as soon as the words came to his lips, he suddenly became alert—what was the need for him to talk about the past.

He had a vague sense that Bai Ling seemed to have come for the things that had been causing him pain all these years, or that she might be doing what she used to do best in the past - to help herself unload those chaotic and painful thoughts.

For a while, Shen Jichuan seemed to wake up.

He couldn't go on with Bai Ling's question any longer.

He couldn't let anyone touch the past.

No one will understand that he needs to suffer more at this moment than liberation, because the heavier the burden on his shoulders, the more debts he will be able to repay in the future.

As for who to repay and what to repay...... These questions don't matter anymore.

Shen Jichuan blinked, and his dry eyes slowly became moist, as if rain suddenly fell from the world that had not been rained for a long time.

Looking at Shen Jichuan in front of him, looking at his subtle and delicate expression, Bai Ling suddenly felt that such an old man was like a snail that had lost its hard shell, because he had lost all his disguise, so he no longer had the strength to do verbal confrontation.

His hesitation and hardship were written on his face plainly, and slowly turned into a certain peaceful firmness.

"I know what I'm doing......" Shin Jichuan muttered.

"Are you ...... Do what? ”

“…… I'm old. He said softly.

Shen Jichuan took a slow breath, he stared into the void, stared at everything that happened to him in the past, and felt that his whole heart was gradually calming down again.

Bai Ling was stunned for a moment.

She suddenly understood what the old man in front of her was resisting - even she herself came back to her senses with some hindsight, she came to see Shen Jichuan, and she was not originally a counselor. Thinking that she should have been confused by Shen Jichuan's words "I want to have a good night's sleep", thinking that this was also a sentence of "please help me".

Bai Ling laughed and diverted the topic in a low voice.

Her gaze still fell on the old man as before, in fact, after seeing the distant mountain guest in the evening, she had vaguely guessed some of the situation of the old general Shen, but from then until now, she had not had a chance to think about it.

His hesitation and hardship were written on his face plainly, and then slowly turned into a certain peaceful firmness.

"I know what I'm doing......" Shin Jichuan muttered.

"Are you ...... Do what? ”

“…… I'm old. He said softly.

Shen Jichuan took a slow breath, he stared into the void, stared at everything that happened to him in the past, and felt that his whole heart was gradually calming down again.

Bai Ling was stunned for a moment.

She suddenly understood what the old man in front of her was resisting - even she herself came back to her senses with some hindsight, she came to see Shen Jichuan, originally not as a counselor, thinking that she should have been confused by Shen Jichuan's words "I want to have a good night's sleep", thinking that it was a sentence "Please help me".

Bai Ling laughed and diverted the topic in a low voice.

Her gaze still fell on the old man as before, in fact, after seeing the distant mountain guest in the evening, she had vaguely guessed some of the situation of the old general Shen, but from then until now, she had not had a chance to think about it.