Huang Si persisted for a while, and finally finished learning all the relevant aspects of integrated circuits.

At this time, it was already December, and Huang Si could feel that his spirit was getting lower and lower.

Before, he at least always found some fun for himself, and he could rotate all kinds of things, and he didn't get tired of it for the time being.

However, as time goes by, this pleasure becomes rarer.

Huang Si can't talk about anything now, and it's boring to do anything.

What's even more terrifying is that he gradually began to think too much.

It's December, and I've been here for almost half a year.

Mom and Dad don't know if they're looking for him, maybe the sudden disappearance of the house and himself can let the parents know that it's a supernatural event, so they don't worry so much about looking for him.

A few old friends don't know what they're doing, but they say that a sworn friend is about to get married, and he has prepared a congratulatory gift to send over. Now, it's probably over, right?

Huang Si misses them all.

And in this house, there is only despair. Even if Huang Si planned his life as much as possible, even if he was always looking for various things to relieve his mood, even if his soul had become stronger, none of this could change the fact.

That is, he has been alone in a house for more than half a year and can't leave, and he has to endure the mental pressure of the strange environment, and he can only eat exactly the same non-nutritious food every day, and the nutritional supplement is all vitamin tablets.

Huang Si is just an ordinary person, an ordinary person who will go home immediately after work, read books, watch movies, and play games. Not a hero, not a great man.

It's not easy to be able to support it until now.

Huang Si really felt every day that his physical and mental condition was gradually deteriorating, and his progress may be very slow, but in this confined space, this must be an irreparable thing.

And there is still no hope in sight of going home.

Sometimes he doesn't even know what he's holding onto, and even living naturally becomes a problem when he first crosses over. He also had to make air for himself so that he wouldn't die.

What now? Do you continue to create all kinds of living resources for yourself like a machine every day, and then live? Watching yourself get weaker day by day?

He didn't dare to think about the future, maybe one day in the future, when he could no longer hold on, he would die here silently.

"Vomit ......" Huang Si leaned against the wall of the bathroom and vomited.

Today, he couldn't eat again, and as soon as a few pieces of artificial meat were imported, the slippery taste suddenly made him feel nauseous, and he couldn't help but vomit.

Huang Si looked at the food he spit out, was stunned for a while, and then silently poured the rest of the food into the bathroom and washed it away.

"Am I depressed?" Huang Thought.

He glanced at the date on his phone.

"December 31st, ah, it's almost 2020."

Huang Si slowly moved his steps, came to the computer, and then began to search for depression-related.

After consulting all the information he could find, Huang Si sat on the bed alone and thought about it for a long, long time.

Then, at last, he spoke:

"I want to go home."

After speaking, Huang Si came to the living room.

He removed the book of creation, which radiated brightly day and night, from the cabinet and stroked its soft cover.

"I'll leave it to you from now on, if I'm really about to break down, please help me."

"When that happens, please restore all my body and memories to when I first came here. Please. ”

Huang Si didn't care whether he listened to these words or not, he took a deep breath, as if he had made up his mind, took out a pen and paper, and wrote a note.

"Me at this moment: If you can't hold on at all, or if you're dying, connect to the Creation Book and perform the function of 'making yourself in reality.'"

"If this is the first time you see this note, then congratulations, you have been rolled back, please go to the study and read all the notes from number 01 to number 10 in the top row."

Huang Si made many copies of these two notes and pasted them all over the room.

This is the last reliance he left for himself.

If he can't find a way back until he goes insane or dies physically, then remind himself to read the records, cover the present, and return to himself when he first came to this place.

He is willing to give up all his memories from the beginning to the present in exchange for the possibility of continuing to live in this hopeless world.

Even if he continues to be hopeless, even if he is reincarnated a hundred times, he still wants to pursue that little bit of faith.

He wanted to go home.

From that day on, Huang Si no longer bothered about depression.

If you have depression, then accept it and let it go. If you're in a bad mood, study how to continue studying and getting your work done when you're in a bad mood.

Every day, Huang Si still insists on cooking, exercising, going to bed early and getting up early.

Even when he was doing anything, he didn't have the slightest smile on his face.

Time passed day after day, and Huang Si's bookshelf added notebook No. 11 and No. 12.

The physical and mental discomfort was tormenting him repeatedly, and in order to get rid of this discomfort, Huang Si simply threw himself into his work.

If he is working on integrated circuits, he will try to hypnotize himself and stop thinking about anything other than integrated circuits.

If he's debugging the AI, he's going to spend the whole day making the AI better, and he doesn't think about anything else.

This is the way he learned from the material to combat depression, which is to divert emotions and allow himself to become obsessed with something, so that he forgets the pain and troubles.

By February 2020, Huang Si's spirit was so fragile that it was vulnerable. No matter what he did, he couldn't last, and his spirit was seriously weakened.

However, even so, he did not stop the pace of research and development.

As long as his mental state was slightly better, Huang Si immediately continued to sit in front of the computer and began to continue to study mechanical automation.

He doesn't deal with it until he feels hungry, or thirsty, or anxious.

Episodes of depression can be scary, and sometimes it can be so painful that it makes you want to kill yourself.

Every time he encountered this situation again, Huang Si always sat silently on the bed, waiting for this state to pass, and then continued, what should he do.

He was like a traveler walking in a swamp.

Depression and physical discomfort hung like a heavy mud on his feet, making it almost impossible for him to move forward.

Yet, he continued to walk forward in the swamp, even as he was about to sink.

Anyway, Huang Si still has the notes he has hung all over the house, as long as he feels that his mental or physical condition has crossed the bottom line of collapse, he will not hesitate to reset himself.

And until you cross the bottom line, you can do anything.

In the midst of this terrible life, Huang Si's consciousness and soul were under great pressure.

And under the pressure, the strength of the soul is also gradually increasing.

One day, Huang Si saw a golden-green light appear again, and he upgraded again. In the creation book, below his name, the level has been changed to the "bloom" level, and the fragment of "bloom" has also been accepted.

When his soul is upgraded, the fragments given to him by the Creation Book make his soul essence rise again, which also makes him more resistant to mental stress.

In this regard, Huang Si just had a faint joy in his heart, nodded, and continued to work.

Later, he stumbled upon the following caption in the fragment distribution record of the Creation Book:

"Log 4: Retrieval of the next fragment failed."

"Log 5: Check all shards, number of missing shards: 5, number of issued shards: 2, number of remaining shards: 0."

Done sending? Missing the pieces that should have been?

Seeing this, Huang Si only sighed slightly, then closed the creation book and didn't care about it anymore.

Now, this little thing can't shake him at all.

The improvement of Huang Si by the "bloom" fragment only made him persist for more than a month.

Mental stress gradually increases over time.

By April 2020, Huang Si's spirit had reached the breaking point, and if he had just a little more, he would have fallen into real insanity.

He would look up at the note from time to time every day to make sure that he could get the creation book as soon as possible before he went astray, and then file it back for himself.

However, Huang Si said silently in his heart: "Wait a little longer, wait a little longer, my design is not finished yet." ”

If a psychologist in reality sees Huang Si, he will definitely be amazed that this is absolutely impossible, this person is simply a miracle in psychology.

Because no one else can still develop and learn with such a high intensity when the spirit is about to collapse.

But Huang Si did it.

Every time he felt like he was going crazy, he would glance at the note, then bow his head and say to himself, "Give me a little more time, just a little bit, this is almost done." ”

Huang Si's expression became more and more distorted, and his body twitched from time to time, which was a precursor to his imminent complete collapse.

……

In this case, he survived for another two days.

Just when that moment was about to come, for some reason, Huang Si's face became calm.

He had completely forgotten the pain, the troubles, the people who he was, and even the idea of going home.

He has only one thing in mind, and that is how to design this circuit so that this processor will not overheat and burn out!

The processor continued to overheat and burn in his hand, and Huang Si took the discarded processor and threw it at the window next to him without hesitation.

Suddenly, the window was windless, opening a gap just enough for the discarded parts to fly out.

The processor swiped through the gap and fell into the darkness outside.

And all this, Huang Si didn't notice, his attention was completely occupied by this damn unsolvable processor, just subconsciously just now, opened the window and threw away the waste.

Huang Si didn't notice that his spirit had suddenly relaxed, he just continued to think about the processor.

And in the process, he didn't even notice that his soul strength was rising rapidly.

One processor after another was scrapped in his hands, and then a new one was created.

In the end, he forgot to sleep and eat, and physical and mental exhaustion could no longer interfere with him.