The meaning of life is companionship, the process is loss, and the end is forgetting.

Who are you with? Parents, siblings, close friends, strangers, or the grass and trees that accompany the world, spring and autumn, breath and breathe?

Who have you lost? After all, you will lose your parents, brothers and sisters, close friends, strangers, and finally lose every breath and breath, lose every grass and tree, lose the world, lose yourself...

Who have you forgotten? When your own pupils dilate, your heart stops beating, your blood gradually cools, and as the suona instrument is put into the coffin, into the dirt pit, you start to forget!

Real forgetting! Forget the red dust of the world, forget the noisy noise, forget the warmth and coldness of the past, the wind and waves, the resentment of thousands of feet, and the reluctance to give up... Pass away!

Zhou Changling knows, Dad, to start forgetting!

Forgot the old lady, forgot his brother, forgot the eldest sister, the second sister and the eldest brother, also... Forget about him!

Zhou Changling, who woke up leisurely, didn't want to accept this fact in his heart no matter what, but his father, who was already in poor health and tired all year round, really passed away! He has no father!

Father was killed by Zhou Changling himself!

If he didn't want to steal the beans, he wouldn't catch the thief, he wouldn't have beans, and he wouldn't think about eating bean noodles, so Daddy would definitely eat some cakes at home, and he would be fine!

I hurt my father! The more I think about it, the more sad I feel, and the more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm the culprit! Tears flowed down the corners of his eyes!

Bang! The door was slammed open!

"You're a dead star! You scourge! If only it weren't for you! I'm with your father and daughter, how good our family is!

Who knew you were coming and making the whole house tight! If that had happened, I should have thrown you into the river and drowned! Now you've killed your father again! ”

While scolding Zhou Changling, Zhou Wei raised his hand and slapped Zhou Changling in the face with two ears, and then pulled him down from the bed like crazy and punched and kicked.

The eldest brother also scolded: "You killed our father, you still have the heart to sleep!" You get up for me! Get lost! Get out of my old Zhou's house!

Since you were a child, you have grabbed something to eat, and now you have killed your father, and there is no place for you in this family! Get out of here! "Scolding and kicking a few times! Zhou Changling was still immersed in pain, blaming himself, he didn't say anything, he didn't fight back, and he let him be beaten and scolded!

At this time, the eldest sister Zhou Changcui cried and shouted: "Mother! My mother! Stop! It's useless for you to call your little brother to death! Changmin, don't do it! Spare him! ”

While pushing away the old lady and the eldest brother, he rushed over to protect the younger brother, crying even more sadly: "My God, my father... How did this family live..." Second sister Zhou Changzhi stared blankly.

The eldest brother-in-law, Lu Yonglai, also hurried over to protect Zhou Changling, and the second brother-in-law Song Baoyu hesitated but still grabbed Zhou Changmin.

The eldest sister Zhou Changcui looked at the little brother with tears in her arms and bleeding from her mouth and nose, tears kept flowing, she loved her little brother since she was a child, the little brother knew that it hurts people, he is obedient and not naughty, he knows how to work, and he has a good temper.

The eldest brother doesn't do anything, he talks angrily, has a bad temper, and always bullies the younger brother.

Think about it, the younger brother actually has a hard life, the father and the mother are old and have children, and they manage their marriage with the second sister, so that the eldest brother also got married, and now he is left alone, his father is still dead, he is alone in his teens, how will he live in the future?

The old lady has been impatient with him since he was a child, and he can't beat and scold him at every turn, it's okay to have outsiders, but he can't say a few words when there are no outsiders, and he always favors the eldest brother... The little brother never seems to say anything, he should work and work, and he is never ambiguous in his work.

The more Zhou Changcui thought about it, the more sad he became, and the more he thought about it, the more it was not worth it for his little brother!

"Mother, Changmin, think about it, say in your conscience, my little brother is fifteen years old, why don't you do it now? What's going on at home? Hard working without complaint!

My father is over 50 years old this year, and his health is sometimes good and sometimes bad, this is suddenly gone, can you complain about the noodles rolled by my little brother?

Mother, there are unforeseen circumstances in the sky, people have good and bad luck, life and death are fate, can you complain about the little brother?

You haven't been waiting to see him since you were a child, and at this time, you still want to bully your little brother? It's better to call your father for the rest of the matter first! ”

Zhou Changcui said something, and everyone in the room was crying, which was considered to have stopped.

The night passed amid crying, beating, scolding, and denunciation.

Early the next morning, the uncle, the third uncle, and the fourth uncle all came, and the notice should be notified, and the one who should be called should be called, the one who should buy filial piety clothes and the one who should buy the coffin and the coffin should be bought.

At night, the second sister and eldest brother couldn't stay up, so they followed the old lady back to sleep.

The eldest sister accompanied Zhou Changling to keep vigil, no matter how anyone cried in the past two days, Zhou Changling was silent, silent, and did not shed tears, as if he was stupid.

In front of the hall is a big word "lay", in this era there is not even a photo of the old man, Changling knelt in front of the coffin, stunned, no one knows what he is thinking! A dim kerosene lamp fluttered down, the little brother's face seemed to be a little unclear, the more the eldest sister Zhou Changcui looked at it, the more distressed she became, and the younger brother had lost weight again in the past few days.

This day is still coming, it is rainy, and the poplar trees that have sprouted have produced a lot of cotton wool, but they have not been beaten down by the light rain, but they are fluttering in the air, flying farther and farther!

Mourning and white silk, the cry echoed far away, Zhou Changling was wearing a filial piety coat and a filial piety hat, following behind the eldest sister and the second sister and eldest brother, listening to their crying, Zhou Changling was still a little in a trance.

I want to speak, but I can't say it, I can't cry when I want to cry, my throat is blocked, it's difficult to breathe, I don't know how to describe the feeling in my heart, it's empty, I can't express it.

In the past, when I heard the mourning of the death of other old people, I wanted to cry inexplicably, but today I can't cry at all.

Standing outside and watching the people standing in the circle crying, laughing, loving and hating, I wanted to empathize, but I found that I only felt a wisp of it. So I was sad that my feelings were barren, and I blamed myself and even felt inferior because I couldn't interpret the heartbreak, why couldn't I express my feelings so properly?

When I finally stood in the circle, I realized that it was just a natural outpouring, not pretentious and twisted, and I didn't think about how to do and how to behave so that more people would understand me.

Crying or not crying, at this time or when he is, it doesn't mean anything, the emotion cries when it reaches the critical point, and it may not cry after the critical point.

But it doesn't mean that not crying is less sad than crying, maybe or even more, who knows? It's just a different performance.

Still arrived at the cemetery, a few middle-aged people who opened the tomb threw out the soil with their hands and feet, and Zhou Changling looked at the handful of soil in a daze. Suddenly, the sound of firecrackers made Zhou Changling come back to his soul, and he saw that the eldest sister and the second sister and eldest brother were crying even more, and the coffin was about to be buried, and several people carried it to the dug grave. Zhou Changling suddenly stood up and rushed forward, hugged the coffin, and screamed: "I'm miserable... Father... Ahh

The onlookers were also like Zhou Changling in the past, who wanted to cry and couldn't cry, but when they suddenly heard this sound, they couldn't control it anymore, and they also cried and wiped their eyes...

There are some old people in the village, who have watched Zhou Changling grow up since childhood, and they used to think that this child was honest and kind, hard-working, and his peers felt cautious and careful, steady and bold, and could carry the weight clearly. Watching him come out of the house today, it's like being stupid, he has lost a lot of weight in a few days, his eyes are dull, and the other sisters and big brothers know how to cry, but he doesn't even know how to cry?

The old man at home does not cry when he dies, it is said that he is not filial, and the ten miles and eight villages that can be passed on know you, and there is a discussion behind his back: people are not filial when they are alive, and they don't cry when they die. The fourth son of Zhou's second family is a filial person, but why doesn't he cry? Everyone was still worried that it would not be good to spread it like this, but it was good to cry...

After this mournful cry, Zhou Changling couldn't make a sound anymore, his mouth opened and closed, but there was no sound, and he hugged the coffin tightly and didn't let go of his hands and didn't let him be buried.

Finally, the uncle couldn't stand it anymore, and this kid still blamed himself! With a wave of his hand, two people went over to hold Zhou Changling to let him go, which made Zhou Changling even more emotional! The struggle became even stronger.

Seeing that the person carrying the coffin was almost unable to hold on, he called two people to help... Suddenly, Zhou Changling stopped struggling, and the four people who were holding him hurriedly pinched him! I'm dizzy! I don't struggle anymore when I wake up.

Da hurriedly waved his hand, and the few people who carried the coffin used force, and the coffin was slowly put into the tomb, and the iron lifted the soil and the iron lifted the earth, slowly covering the coffin.

It seems that every iron lifting of earth seems to have magical power, it can bury a person's vigorous life experience, can cut off all emotional connections, and make people forget that this person has been in this world.

Zhou Changling thought, Dad finally forgot and was forgotten.

Losing is not necessarily forgetting, but forgetting is already lost!

When a person dies, he becomes a star? It turns out that the world has lost so much.

As long as it is not forgotten by the living, it still exists in another interface? It turns out that the world has nothing to lose.

Gains and losses, gains are short, and losses are eternal.

Zhou Changling was busy with everything, sent away all relatives and friends, and returned to the dilapidated earthen embryo house, the uncle, the third uncle, and the fourth uncle were all there, the eldest sister and the eldest brother-in-law, the second sister and the second brother-in-law, the eldest brother, and the old lady.

Except for the sister-in-law in confinement, they all came.

Zhou Changling looked at everyone and did not speak.

Zhou Changmin looked at everyone, and then looked at Zhou Changling and said:

"Our father is also buried, there is not much money, I took it, and I will support our mother in the future, but... You! I don't raise it, and I don't have the obligation to raise it. While the elders are here, I will also make it clear, Changling, you can live by yourself in the future, and we will split up. Do you have anything to say? Don't hide it. ”

"Mother, what do you think?" Zhou Changling looked at Zhou Wei and asked.

"You can live by yourself, I don't want your father to stay in this house, I have followed your brother to it, you will marry a daughter-in-law in the future, whether you marry or not are these two earthen houses." Zhou Weishi agreed.

As soon as the words fell, Zhou Changmin took over the conversation: "Mother, you don't want the things in this house, Zhong!" But I have to ask for it, my father is just me and Changling, and we have to divide it equally. Zhou Changling didn't speak, and when he saw the eldest sister Zhou Changcui pointing at Zhou Changmin, he was about to scold, so he quickly grabbed her: "It's okay." Second sister, what do you think? ”

"Divide it evenly, half of one person!" Zhou Changzhi said lightly.

Zhou Changling looked at the big ones, the three big ones, and the four avenues: "I want these two earthen houses, and you can move the others away, and leave me some Zhuang seeds." ”

As he spoke, he knelt down and kowtowed to Zhou Wei's and Zhou Laosan and Zhou Laosi, and said, "Mother, big, three, four, I will live well." The rest assured of your elders. ”

Zhou Changcui and Lu Yonglai wanted to say something, but they were stopped by Zhou Changling, the eldest brother-in-law's family is poor, and he is already looked down upon, and now speaking on this occasion will only make people more annoying, so they don't let them offend people. Second brother-in-law Song Baoyu just watched.

The family is separated, Zhou Changling is now alone, carrying a family, of course, one person is full of food and the whole family is not hungry. Anyway, the sky is immortal and the earth does not accept the mother's care, as long as you work, you will have something to eat, and it is very chic.

The days are still slipping away day by day, making it impossible for people to easily notice, and they have regretted it when they react.

The year is over again.

In previous years, when entering the lunar month, every household had no money, so they bought some meat and dumplings, and there were a lot of things that should be done. This year, the family is alone, Zhou Changling bought a door painting and a plate of firecrackers, Chinese New Year's Eve, paste it on the door, this is the New Year!

Finally, waiting for the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve, Zhou Changling got up early and pasted the door painting, replacing the old with the new charm, saying goodbye to the old and welcoming the new!

It's just that the door painting posted by Zhou Changling is purple, because if there is an old man in the family who dies, the gray door painting will be pasted for three years.

Since the separation of the family, Zhou Changling has eaten well, going down to the river to catch fish, picking rabbits in the field, anyway, what to eat, fish soup to eat at noon today.

After eating, I locked the door, looked at the cards played in other people's houses, and in a blink of an eye it was evening, went to the cemetery to burn paper and set off firecrackers, and then simply, ate something casually, did not go out, and had to keep vigil on Chinese New Year's Eve.

It stands to reason that in previous years, the family bought some cheap sugar and melon seeds, eating and smiling and waiting for the New Year, but now there is only themselves in this family.

This year, Zhou Changling often misses his father, just like now, when a person is idle, it is always easy to think about another person, got up and took a pen, found a broken book, Zhou Changling wrote a sentence in the book: In 1974, I lost my father.

Then he looked up wistfully, not knowing what was in his eyes in the flickering candlelight.

In fact, since the death of his father and the separation of the family, Zhou Changling still talks to the old lady and the eldest brother, sometimes goes there to hug the eldest niece, the difference from the previous is that the old lady moved to the eldest brother, nothing else, oh, and he doesn't eat at the eldest brother's place.

Nine months, actually, is very fast, maybe nine years is also very fast. This year, in addition to the Qingming Festival and the Double Ninth Festival, Zhou Changling went to sit by his father's grave if he had nothing to do, rolled a few cigarettes and smoked, and thought about it for a while, often.

I just miss my father, and I want someone to talk to.

People of the same age just play together, okay, other words, don't want to say.

In a daze, I smoked a few cigarettes, went to bed and fell asleep.

The next day, the village went around to pay New Year's greetings, and at lunch, I caught up with Aunt Zhang and called her to go to her house for dinner, and I went cheekily to drink some wine with Aunt Zhang's son, and Aunt Zhang took three of her own children, which was not easy! I was dizzy, I didn't eat dinner, and I slept.

Oh yes! It's Big Brother's Birthday! New Year's Day.

On the second day of the Lunar New Year, the eldest sister and the second sister both came, followed them to the cemetery, the eldest sister brought some meat for herself, and the second sister took all the things to the eldest brother's house. When the eldest sister was cooking, the second brother-in-law Song Baoyu came over and looked at it and said, "Changling, you have to work hard, when is it a head?" Zhou Changling nodded.

Later, only the eldest sister accompanied her to have a meal, and the eldest brother-in-law Lu Yonglai wanted to come over together, but was called away by the eldest brother.

The third and fourth days of junior high school were mixed for two days, and on the fifth day of junior high school, he was called over by the third uncle and Zhou Changzhi, he had to drink some, there were other relatives at home, Zhou Changling followed Zhou Changzhi to call that person's cousin, surnamed Zhang! Zhang heng! It is said that he can tell fortunes.

Zhou Changling's wine table frequently saluted this cousin's wine, and after three rounds of wine and five flavors, Zhou Changling pulled the three and said: "Third uncle, I want to follow my cousin to learn hexagrams, you tell him." ”

The third uncle returned to the wine table and drank a few sips of wine with Zhang Heng, and said, "Look at this child?" ”

Uncle Zhang Heng looked at Zhou Changling and said, "It's a good boy!" ”

"Haha, okay, come on, come on, go again!" Zhou Laosan drank another one before he spoke again: "This kid wants to learn hexagram with you..."

Zhang Heng glanced at Zhou Changling a few times and asked, "Hey, kid, do you want to learn?" ”

"I want to learn!" Circumference nodded!

Zhang Heng nodded: "Haha, my own children, if you want to learn, I will teach!" ”

"Come on, cousin, after drinking this wine, I can be regarded as an apprentice!" Zhou Changling observed the words and looked at the expression, and climbed up the pole.