Where does the organization originate? Maybe this story can tell you a thing or two. 】

The voice behind me was getting closer and closer, closer and closer, it seemed to be almost to my ears, I quickened my pace and walked forward, as soon as I turned to the right, the voice followed me to the right, I quickened my pace, both hands clasped my briefcase in front of my chest, I felt that I couldn't breathe, take a breath, but forgot how to spit it out, I could feel my heartbeat through the bag, knock knock and beat non-stop.

I stopped, all the sound stopped abruptly, I lowered my head, gasped lightly, slowly turned around, my shoes rubbed against the sand on the ground, making a clattering sound, I saw my own shadow slowly turn away, looked up, looked at the empty parking lot, except for a few lights looking lonely, there was really nothing, not even a car in and out, deathly silence.

This feeling is terrible, I took the bag and opened my legs and ran to the elevator entrance, just right, the elevator stopped on the first floor, I rushed in, pressed the button to close for a while, watched the two doors slowly close, I breathed a sigh of relief, but in the crack of the door that was about to close, I seemed to see something standing in the distance looking at me, out of the elevator, I went straight to my door, when I was about to close the door, I poked my head out and looked left and right, to confirm that there was nothing on the corridor and finally closed the door.

When I entered the house, I looked carefully at my room, the kitchen, everything was clean; bathroom, everything is laid out normally; Bedrooms, and when you go out in the morning, everything is tidy; In the living room, I sat down and patrolled with my vigilant and careful eyes, everything was as usual, there was no intrusion, I breathed a long sigh of relief, got up and poured myself a glass of water, stood in front of the window, looked at the traffic downstairs, and felt very condescending.

It's been two weeks since this happened, and I always feel like someone is following me, peeping at me, and even dissecting me, which is really scary, but luckily the house is still safe, which is a good thing for my sleep.

In order to get rid of the tracking, I was walking in a hurry on the way to work in the morning, after rushing into the office with an anxious face, I immediately poured myself a large glass of water, standing in front of the window, I looked at the endless flow of people downstairs, everyone was the same as me, rushing forward in a hurry, dense crowd, I couldn't see a trace of abnormality at all.

So he turned to look out of the office, the treasurer hurried into another office with the report, the interns who had just arrived were tinkering with the printer, and the others were sitting in their places, or nervously making plans, or whispering and discussing yesterday's gossip, or yawning and not recovering from their sleep, everything was as usual.

I still scanned around vigilantly, trying to find flaws in the company, maybe the weird thing was hidden in these most normal movements, my fingers kept tapping on the table, my eyes stared motionless out of the blinds, maybe I was too engrossed, I heard someone call me in the haze, I blinked, slowly came back to my senses, saw the secretary, my eyes stayed on her for a second and then immediately returned to my own documents, and continued to have the necessary meetings every day after understanding today's work arrangement.

As always, I have a smile on my face, dealing with those old fritters, and I can still move freely in these smiles of kindness or hypocrisy or greed.

In the company, I am the wolf king who leads the wolf pack, carefully and steadily deploying wars again and again, here, I can only be fierce and decisive.

And only I know that I am not the wolf king at all, I am just an elk, coming from the distant mountains and rivers, carrying a body of vomit and blood and sweat, I am rotten, I am deprived, I am walking step by step towards the bottomless abyss, and behind, there is an enemy I can't see is following me step by step, dissecting me, destroying me.

After work, walking step by step on the way home, I think that thing is becoming more and more rampant, before it would only observe me from afar, peep me in the cracks, now that thing will follow me, declare war on me with teeth and claws in my ear, and when I want to fight back, that thing hides again, gives me a counterattack.

I didn't dare to look back, I quickened my pace and walked forward, and when I got home, I drank a large glass of water and slowly calmed down, lay on the sofa, looking at the ceiling, for two weeks, I had been exhausted by that thing, I didn't know what I was wrong with, I didn't know why, for it, I was so powerless.

I don't know how many days later, when I woke up, I rubbed my eyes, and was suddenly smoked by the smell of alcohol, I sat up and looked at the mess all over the ground, dirty clothes lying on the ground, one shoe fell on the pants, the other was nowhere to be found, I immediately got up to patrol, there were still vomited dirt in the bathroom toilet, the sofa in the living room was wrinkled, and the tragic situation after being ravaged.

I poured myself a glass of water, looked at my watch, at four o'clock in the morning, everything was quiet, I suddenly found that I couldn't remember when I drank, why I drank, and why the room became such a miserable state, I banged my head hard, tried to recall, tried to recall, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't recall, I squatted down sadly, like a child, sobbing softly.

It dawned on me that, for two weeks, no one had known that such had happened to me, that I had not mentioned it to anyone, and that fate had crept away in my troubled days.

I took out my phone, thought about it for a while, or typed "depression", looked at it, and then typed "insanity", a bunch of advertisements for mental illness treatment popped up, I put down my phone, and lay down expressionlessly, I don't know how long it was, I suddenly came back to my senses, sat up suddenly, I was very scared, and my mind was blank.

I took out my phone and began to flip through the address book, tangled for a long time, and finally pressed the number, the voice on the other end of the phone rang, mixed with the sound of mahjong that kept tumbling, and the phone was hung up after asking a few words, I still couldn't speak, just like when I was 8 years old, I had a high fever, lying on the bed without the strength to move, waiting in pain and discomfort, and my father came back with a body of alcohol and didn't even look at me and fell asleep with his head covered. That night, sweat and tears soaked the quilt and extinguished my dream of fatherly love, just like tonight, I looked at the sky and never missed my mother so much.

Further down the address book, I chose a friend with whom I had a good relationship to call, I said, I was sick, and after a few polite greetings, I hung up the phone, just like work, I had to wear a mask of false affection to maintain the calculation of friendship.

When I flipped to my ex-girlfriend's number, I paused for a long time and put down my phone.

The phone was put down, but the despair rose, this inexplicable taste added a dose of despair to my despair, I felt that the hateful thing had invaded my room, my every move was being monitored, dissected, I knew it was my own delusion, but I couldn't help but think about it, I felt so heavy when I breathed in.

I didn't sleep all night, and in the company of that hateful thing, I found that I was usually clever in the mall, but today I was beaten back by the other party, I don't know how to face it, I found myself slowly starting to rot.

In the past few days, my room began to slowly become messy, the smell of pots and pans and pots and dust, my life began to be slowly disrupted, insomnia, fear and decadence, and in a month, I fell into eighteen layers of hell.

The paranoia became more and more serious, and the pain of insomnia was deeply placed on my face, and as soon as I got home, I began to vomit, vomiting out all at once what I had eaten that day, and it was as if it was right next to me laughing at me, laughing at my incompetence, my weakness, my posturing.

In the middle of the night, my stomach began to twitch and even cramp all over my body, and I fell to the ground, disgusted with myself.

I remembered the pain of my mother when she left her hospital bed when I was 7 years old;

I remembered the horror I had when I was 8 years old when I was bullied and blackmailed by a senior boy;

I remembered the helplessness of watching my best friend drown when I was 10 years old;

I remembered the humiliation of being scolded in public by my teacher when I was 15 years old because of my early love;

I remembered the loneliness when I was 18 years old and had no one to rejoice with when I was admitted to a major book;

I remembered the betrayal of my girlfriend and friend;

I'm reminded of the cynicism of frustration;

I am reminded of countless nights when no one was ......

I seemed to hear that thing laughing behind me, you see, this is the real you, I was so disgusted by myself like this, I held my breath, but I had to breathe because of the desire to survive, I curled up on the ground, sweat rubbed against me on the floor, I heard the call of hell in my chest.

I wanted to sob, I wanted to cry, but I found that I suddenly lost the ability of the tear glands, and my whole body was like being pulled out of tendons, and the despair, pain, self-deprecation and self-irony rushed all over the world, every cell was sending out the horn of battle, every inch of nerve was beaten to the ground by despair, and the power of hell was burning me, burning all the pain, 18 layers of torture.

I suddenly couldn't hear the horn, I couldn't see the war, I just felt that my ears were roaring, my brain was hanging on the strings, it hurt so much, I crawled forward, struggling through all obstacles, suddenly, I saw the fruit knife on the coffee table, just like seeing my mother holding me in her arms, I only felt that my chest was rising and falling violently, thousands of thoughts flashed, the two armies were facing each other.

I stood up and immediately took the fruit knife, I thought about it, cut my throat, everything was over, at this moment, I only felt cold hands and feet, the hand holding the knife kept shaking, the violent sadness was like a toxin, instantly eroded the blood of the whole body, and the unbearable mental pain hit strongly from the tip of the knife.

I threw down the fruit knife suddenly, immediately slapped myself, squatted on the ground, and began to cry, how can I die, I am still very greedy for this world, I still have a lot of things to do, after crying, I touched my neck, fortunately only a little skin was cut, I felt collapsed, the cells of the whole body were liberated, a wonderful feeling welled up in my chest, walked to the window, I looked at the lights, looked at the pedestrians not far away, a little fortunate breath of relief, in the world that just collapsed in black and white, Luckily, I touched that light.

I still hadn't fallen asleep that night, but I could feel that I had won the battle just now, and that selfish and arrogant thing was ashamed of itself in the corner, and I didn't have to be afraid of it.

Suffering is suffering, illness is disease, illness is healing, and I decided that I was going to start fighting it.

When it appears, I ignore it, when it peeps at me, I teach it a lesson, when it laughs at me, I should fight back, it used to follow me, now it's under my control.

I started taking medicine, hoping that the medicine would slowly suppress the disordered soul in my body.

By chance, I came into contact with Buddhism, and I began to learn to let go of "greed, hatred, ignorance, slowness, and suspicion", and let go of the pain of the past, and it is not a good thing to be obsessed too deeply, I sometimes think, maybe I got the ticket to Nirvana, just like a person in my sleep who is having nightmares and struggling, maybe I will soon be able to wake up, and the pain will be Bodhi.

I started to slowly get my life back on track and continue to be my wolf king, making money that could put my pain off the ground.

From a whole day of insomnia to being able to sleep for two or three hours to now being able to get six hours of sleep a day, my state has recovered well in the past six months, and whenever I am depressed and uncontrollable, I think of the moment I threw down the fruit knife that night, Nirvana was reborn, and I couldn't give up.

On this day, I met a girl, I envy her, always so happy and kind, the winter fire ignited the dry fallen wood in my heart, and soon after, she came to my bed, and the moment I entered her body, I seemed to see a pair of eyes in the mirror eating and laughing, this time, which friend do you want her to sleep with?

A chill hit me from behind, and I hurriedly pulled out of her body, looked at her with round eyes, and immediately apologized to her after discovering my faux pas, however, as if I had seen a monster, she was shocked.

Finally, after a pleasant dinner, I said goodbye to her, and that night, the thing accompanied me home, and while laughing at me, saying that I was incompetent, and about my weakness, it seemed to comfort me a little, and I was no longer afraid, and my mind was in a mess, and as I sat on the sofa at home, I suddenly realized that the guy who had only dared to peep at me before had now walked back side by side with me, sitting on my couch in a dignified manner, and the person who had put the demon in was myself.

I forced myself not to think, not to listen, not to see, everything is illusory, it is my imagination, it is my heart disease, I opened the medicine box, poured myself more than a dozen pills at one time, and then opened the Buddhist scriptures, pretending to be calm, after reading a few words, I found that I could not control myself at all, threw the book on the sofa, I lay down on the bed, wrapped myself in the quilt, why am I so incompetent! Why do I get this disease! Why it seems like everything is my own fault!

I don't know when, in pain, I fell asleep, the next day when I woke up, it was ten o'clock in the morning, hurried to the company, after calming down, I found that it seemed that except for a lazy sleep, there was nothing abnormal, last night was just a heavy emotional loss, I smiled luckily.

When I received a call from my father, it was half a month later, I was surprised, this number, it is difficult to display it several times a year, he said, my aunt is terminally ill, I want me to go home to see, for this stepmother, I really don't have a good feeling, since I was 7 years old when I saw this woman in the hospital when I saw my mother coming home, I hated her so much.

I still went home, looked at her in the hospital bed, and didn't feel a trace of it, and even the hatred disappeared.

On the way back, I kept thinking, why don't I hate her anymore? Maybe it's because it's been so long, maybe it's pity for someone who is dying, maybe it's because I haven't hated her that much all along. I shudder a little at the thought of this, which makes me even more disgusted with myself.

Soon after, eczema found me, at first it was just around the pinna, then it progressed into the ear canal, deeper and more itchy, it began to flow pus constantly, making thousands of ants, gnawing at me.

As my condition worsened, my hearing began to weaken, but I didn't have the slightest idea of going to the doctor, just let it rot, I was a rotten person anyway, and I smelled of the Nile.

The illness is getting worse and worse, my work has been greatly affected, the obvious decline in income has told me this, and life is even worse, I found that everything is back to square one, my hard work is all nullified, but I can't do anything, I don't even have the slightest heart to resist.

And the thing that followed me, after lurking for more than half a year, finally gathered momentum, and danced in front of me, showing off its success, and countless voices buzzed in my ears, it was the familiar sound of a horn, and the sound of hell came again, and they called in my ears.

There was a moment when I wondered if I should ask for help.

Looking for my father, he may be like the middle semester, obviously I was bullied, but he ordered me to apologize to the perpetrators, and I didn't want to bow to them.

Looking for friends, I don't want to hear the prevarication of jokes anymore, I don't want to hear the fake care of flattery anymore, everyone is a hypocritical high-level animal, why torture each other.

I'm just a lonely sand in this world.

After self-isolation, finally one night, the whole body began to cramp again, the stomach was lit by the flames, began to burn pain, the burning sensation slowly extended to other organs of the body, lungs, liver, followed by a burst of fire, finally, the fire spread to the heart, the fire burned the heart, but so, I got up, walked to the bathroom with difficulty, washed my face, my face was pale, my lips were trembling.

My body hurt so badly that my stomach was wrenching and I squatted down in pain, but I didn't want to admit defeat, I stood up with difficulty against the wall, and every time I moved, my body was like a skin cramp, and the blood began to slowly become coagulated, and the cells of my body were agitated, sounding the death knell for their owners.

Walking to the most familiar window, looking at the night below, a few people like me were walking slowly or hurriedly, looking at the night, I suddenly felt a burst of pleasure, it seemed that the previous thirty years, but a dream, betrayal, abandonment, death, and pain are my cause and effect, and now, just by jumping, I can escape this nightmare.

I walked step by step, obviously only two or three steps away, but it seemed as if I had walked for thirty years, when I opened the window, a cool breeze came in, and the night swallowed me, and all my memories were slowly destroyed, and rebuilt, destroyed, and rebuilt, and this feeling was the first time, wonderful and terrifying.

I climbed up to the windowsill and looked up at the sky, it was pitch black, there was not even a star, my chest began to rise and fall violently, my body spasmed even more, the fire burned my heart, it had begun to attack my brain, the cells of my body were still running, the army was rushing, surging to the extreme, finally, the fire burned to the first string of my head, oh, I opened my arms and jumped forward.

It turns out that the wind at night is so cool, it turns out that the night is so beautiful, the night wind passes through my body, blowing out the fire in my body, and between the chaos of heaven and earth, I still want to find that piece of light.

My hearing seems to have regained a bit, and I can hear the noise around me, the sound of sirens, the sound of footsteps, the sound of sighs, but what about my body? I felt like a balloon, floating up and down, my body getting lighter and lighter, and the sounds around me were getting farther and farther away.

No, don't go, don't let me go like this, I still seem to be greedy for this world, but I don't even have the right to struggle, I feel like air, floating upwards.

Am I liberated, or am I falling into the penalty of eternal life? I started to get scared.

All the worlds slowly disappear, here, there is a blur, there is no sound, there is chaos everywhere, there is no sight, no touch, no feeling.

Am I dead?

What's it, it's so strange, how can you suddenly see it clearly? What is it?

A whirlpool suddenly appeared in the air, what was calling me?

"Come on, come on...... Destroy it...... Destroy it......"

Destroy what? But I really want to destroy, so let's go in? Let's go inside! Let them die!

Die!