Doudou also found that Jiang Huaiya had come out, jumped off the chair, and ran towards Jiang Huaiya.

Jiang Huaiya's eyes were still red, obviously she had just cried. She crouched down and picked Doudou up. He nodded to the nurse on the side.

"Shall we go and go home after picking up the medicine?" Jiang Huaiya tried to hide the sadness in her eyes, she didn't want Doudou to see her emotions.

"Hmm."

Fortunately, he didn't look at Jiang Huaiya's expression much, but nodded slightly as usual and responded softly.

Jiang Huaiya took his son home after taking the medicine, tossed all morning, and it was already lunchtime.

The nanny prepared the meal, and Jiang Huaiya called her in advance in the hospital to instruct.

Jiang Huaiya peeled a shrimp for Doudou, thinking about the future treatment, and asked tentatively; "Doudou, what do you think of the doctor aunt you saw today? We're going to meet her every Friday from now on. ”

Doudou stopped chewing and looked at Jiang Huaiya.

"What's wrong? Don't Doudou like her? Jiang Huaiya noticed his hesitation.

Doudou shook his head but still didn't speak, and silently lowered his head to eat. Jiang Huaiya suddenly felt panicked in her heart, he was just a child, and such deep emotions made him unable to see through them.

Jiang Huaiya didn't say anything more, her thoughts were complicated after eating a meal, and she couldn't eat anything at all.

On the one hand, he blamed himself, blaming himself for not taking good care of the child and failing to notice the child's abnormality as soon as possible, and on the other hand, he hated and regretted Lu Yuan, thinking that everything was over, but who knew that this was just the beginning of another nightmare......

The afternoon sun was excellent, and after tossing for a long time today, Jiang Huaiya simply didn't send Doudou to school again.

Looking at the child sitting quietly in front of the window, Jiang Huaiya walked over with a glass of warm water.

"Come on, take your medicine."

Turning around and putting the water cup on the table, seeing that Doudou did not react, Jiang Huaiya walked up to him. found that Doudou seemed to be looking at something on the windowsill, hanging his head, looking very serious.

"What are you looking at?" Jiang Huaiya asked him.

Then I saw a dying moth on the windowsill, its wings broken, and only the slightly quivering tentacles signaled the existence of this weak life.

Before Jiang Huaiya could speak, she saw Doudou stretch out his hand and crush the dying insect to death on the windowsill.

The broken wings seemed to flick twice with the last of their strength, and then fell silent. There are phosphorus powders falling one after another under the illumination of the light pillars.

Jiang Huaiya was stunned, she didn't know what to say for a while.

It took a long time for her to find her voice back, "Doudou, why are you doing this?" Jiang Huaiya's voice seemed to carry a little fear that she was not easy to detect.

Doudou spread out his palms, looked at the gray phosphorus powder, and looked up at Jiang Huaiya for a moment.

"He's having a hard time, I'm helping him."

Doudou's voice was very soft, but the words he said made Jiang Huaiya shudder.

There is a kind of cruel innocence in the eyes of a child, what does this sentence represent?

Death is liberation?

Jiang Huaiya's nose was sour, and her eyes were immediately filled with tears.

"Doudou, why are you? Why hurt yourself? ”

She asked the question she had been wanting to ask since she came back from the doctor, Jiang Huaiya didn't dare before, but now she can't care about anything anymore.

Jiang Huaiya squatted and hugged Doudou's thin body, and her tears could no longer be suppressed.

But as if he didn't know anything, he ignored his mother's grief and just stared at the dead moth on the windowsill.

Jiang Huaiya didn't want to be able to get a response from Doudou at all, she just couldn't help it anymore.

Intense sadness, fear, remorse...... All kinds of emotions were mixed together, making Jiang Huaiya almost unable to breathe.

She cried and choked, but the beanie in her arms was like a log, not moving or speaking.

Jiang Huaiya cried for a long time, from the initial collapse to the gradual calming down. Her heart gradually turned to ashes.

When he looked at Doudou again, there was still no emotion on his face, Jiang Huaiya found that he seemed to be looking at something, and when he looked over, he realized that he was looking at the moth that had long since died.

Jiang Huaiya didn't know what he was thinking, his eyes were empty Jiang Huaiya didn't know why he always felt that Doudou seemed to be envious of the flying insect, because he was relieved.

At this moment, the doctor's words came back to her mind.

Doudou already had the idea of committing suicide.

Jiang Huaiya felt a pain in her heart when she thought of this, he was still so young, and he didn't give him enough care and protection.

"Doudou, can you tell Mom why you scratched yourself before?"

Jiang Huaiya still didn't give up and wanted to get an answer from the child.

But Doudou obviously didn't want to say it, or he didn't know it himself, he was still so young, and he probably didn't know the meaning of death and life very clearly, he had already had such an idea......

Jiang Huaiya's heart ached, she divorced Lu Yuan in addition to wanting to start her life again, but also wanted to give her child 1 a better growth environment, even if the role of the father is missing, even if she may not be able to do the best.

But everything seems to have been messed up by her, and the faint influence that Lu Yuan has brought to this family and the child seems to linger, and it seems that the new students are just sinking into another peat.

"Mom, why are you crying?" Doudou looked at the tears on Jiang Huaiya's cheeks, and seemed to finally react, and his little hand touched her cheek.

Jiang Huaiya looked at the child, he was still his own son, his own sustenance and hope, and now he was just sick.

Thinking like this, Jiang Huaiya smiled reluctantly, even though she knew that her laughter would not look much better than crying.

wiped the tears from his cheeks, "Doudou, I'll take you to wash your hands first, okay?" ”

As he spoke, he took Doudou to the sink first to rinse the phosphorus powder on his hands, and the water took away not only the stains, but also Jiang Huaiya's terrible and desperate mood.

"You can go to the living room and watch TV for a while." Jiang Huaiya said with a smile.

Doudou doesn't seem to have any objections, he has gone from being a delicate and sensitive child to being a little sluggish, and he is still very good at perceiving other people's emotions.

Seeing Doudou obediently sit on the sofa and turn on the TV, Jiang Huaiya took a deep breath and dialed Shen Siyan's phone.

After a few beeps, Shen Siyan's familiar and gentle voice sounded.

"Huaiya, is it Doudou's business? How is he doing now? ”

The concern of her friends made Jiang Huaiya almost cry, she didn't dare to tell her parents about Doudou at all, for fear that they would be worried, so she could only support herself alone.

Sensing the faint sound of sobbing on the other side of the phone, Shen Siyan frowned.

"Wya, are you still there?"

"Yes."

Jiang Huaiya's voice was a little hoarse, with a thick nasal voice. Shen Siyan knew what was going on as soon as she heard it, and Jiang Huaiya must have cried.

Shen Siyan couldn't help but worry, she felt a little uneasy in her heart after she saw that Doudou's wound was drawn by herself.

For such a young child, the cause of self-harm must be serious psychological problems.

"Wya, what's wrong with you? Don't cry just yet, tell me about the doctor's diagnosis. Shen Siyan lowered his tone more slowly, hoping that he could comfort Jiang Huaiya and calm her down.

Jiang Huaiya's thoughts were complicated, she couldn't tell what she was looking for Shen Siyan for, but she subconsciously looked for her as soon as possible. Perhaps only she can give herself strength and comfort at such times.

"I ...... I was wrong, I thought I could ...... without Lu Yuan" Jiang Huaiya choked up, almost unable to form a sentence, but Shen Siyan did not urge her, Shen Siyan patiently waited for her to tell the matter.

Jiang Huaiya said intermittently, and Shen Siyan listened quietly on the side, without extra words, only an occasional "um" or two to indicate that he was still there.

"The doctor said that Doudou's condition is very serious, and he already wants to commit suicide......"

Hearing this, Shen Siyan also gasped, and couldn't help but ask, "What?" ”

Jiang Huaiya also knew that such a diagnosis was still too cruel for a young child, but she also had enough time to digest the news.

"It's true, the doctor asked us to do psychotherapy every Friday, I'm really scared now......" Jiang Huaiya's tears almost dried up, and she only felt that her eyes were astringent, but the emotions in her heart were overflowing.

Remorse, pain, self-blame......

"If I had made up my mind to divorce Lu Yuan earlier, would everything be different now?" Jiang Huaiya couldn't help but ask Shen Siyan, in fact, this question had circled thousands of times in her own heart.

But I haven't answered, will I?

Shen Siyan's heart froze, "Huaiya, although you are also at fault for the child's psychological problems, but the reasons are varied, don't blame yourself too much, the current matter is a foregone conclusion." It's useless to think about it no matter how much you want, Doudou is already sick, no matter what the reason is, it's too late to think about the reason now, and it won't help. ”

Jiang Huaiya listened to Shen Siyan so quietly, she couldn't tell her emotions clearly, she only felt that there were too many emotions in her heart for a while, as if they were blocked.

"You have to be strong now, you are now Doudou's reliance is his hope that he can get better, if you also fall, what are you going to do with the child?" Shen Siyan's worries are not unreasonable, Jiang Huaiya's mental condition has been problematic before.

Jiang Huaiya slowly squatted down, she covered her face, and took a deep breath, "But I now want to know what caused Doudou's mental condition to go wrong." I know that Lu Yuan's reason must be there, but he clearly has negative emotions towards Lu Yuan......

For a while, Jiang Huaiya felt extremely tired, her body and heart seemed to be separated, and at this moment, her body was overwhelmed by her soul.

"Huaiya, don't worry, I'll come to see you later." Shen Siyan was also anxious at the moment, although Doudou was not her child, but in her eyes, he was not much different from her own child.

"yes, okay."