The psychiatrist came, he asked me some questions, and I answered them all, but I didn't think seriously about and answer his questions, all I thought about was Xing Lu. When the psychiatrist finally left, he told my parents, "Don't worry, she's a very healthy girl." "My parents were relieved, and after seeing off the psychiatrist, they also went out.

I was still lying on the chaise longue that the psychiatrist had just recommended to my parents, thinking about the problem. Until the sun slowly moved away from me, and the sun was already hanging high above the sky, it was already noon, and the time I had agreed with Mei Dai was up, I got up to change my swimsuit, and then went back to the chair to lie down and wait for Mei Dai.

Mei Dai came on time, we went to the beach together as agreed, she was as happy as usual, she said a lot, but none of them were about Xing Lu, I was a little disappointed, I didn't want my Mei Dai to be cold-blooded like some people. I only hope that she can mention Xing Lu, even if it is just to ask me the news of Xing Lu's death? But she didn't say anything.

Today the weather is sunny and cloudless. There were a lot of people by the sea, and we also met some of our classmates from our school, who were happy as usual. I watched all this with a special loss, and there are countless times like this in their lives, and if they are willing to stay for a few minutes, to grieve for the person who has left for a few minutes, their souls will not go further and further down a selfish, indifferent path.

I plunged headlong into the sea, swam vigorously, not listening to their pleasant sounds, and when I could not swim anymore, my ears could not hear the pleasant sounds of the people. I came to a quiet place, with no one around, and I couldn't help crying, and I felt that their laughter made me feel strange and frightened.

When I returned to the beach again, Mei Dai was angry, and I had promised her countless times that I would never leave the safe zone again, but this time I broke my word. The way she looked angry made me a little overwhelmed. But I was really in no mood to comfort her, she saw my unhappiness and kept asking me why?

I wasn't in the mood to explain to her either, I didn't want anyone to know that I wasn't happy because someone they felt was insignificant to me had died.

She didn't talk to me when she saw that I wasn't talking, and she kept talking to the other boys in our class, which also made me feel unusually uncomfortable. When a boy sat next to me and talked to me, I walked away.

I was afraid that as soon as I opened my mouth, tears would fall, and I didn't want to tell anyone that I was sad. In the eyes of everyone, Xing Lu had nothing to do with me when he was alive, and I hope that in their eyes, Xing Lu had nothing to do with me when he died. That's the only thing I'm going to stick to.

I soon left the beach, Mei Dai also left with me, we didn't talk all the way, we were not happy with each other, Mei Dai quickly said goodbye to me, she told me to rest well, and then call her when I was in a good mood. I nodded and watched her walk away before coming home.

I stood on the balcony eating ice cream, looking at the blue sea and watching the crowd playing on the beach. I didn't take a bite out of it, until it melted and dripped on my shoesless feet, and my mind was pulled back from the blue sea.

I lay idly on the chair that the psychiatrist had sold me to my house, and I lay down from noon to dusk, during which I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I saw the sunset in the distance, and it was incomparably beautiful, it was a mixture of purple, pink, and yellow, and it turned out that the combination of these three colors could be so beautiful, not just ugly, glaring bruises.

I saw the people who had left the beach and came home in droves, their bodies were tanned, their hair was still a little wet, and the smiles on their faces were especially bright. I saw a group of little boys wandering around a tree, as if they were going to knock down a nest of eggs from the tree.

After the next semester, I'm leaving the city to go to university abroad. Originally, I could have left the whole semester of my junior year of high school, but the existence of some people made me reluctant to leave that high school so quickly, leaving the city where I had lived for 17 years. But just as the sun was setting, I changed my mind and I was leaving.

I called my parents and told them what I thought, and for the first time in my life I lied to them, and I told them that I wanted to adjust to life abroad as soon as possible. They agreed, and they were glad that I had such an idea, and in their opinion the idea of foreign education was very good, and they always wanted to send me to a foreign country for education when I was very young, but I was always reluctant to go.

They said they would take care of the rest, and they told me, "Baby, we can't be back tonight, you have to have a good dinner." They told me my uncle was coming to stay with me tonight, they told me to listen to my uncle, and they told me, "Happy birthday baby, we love you." ”

Then I called Mei Dai's phone and lied to her for the first time in my life, I apologized to her, told her that I was in a bad mood because I was not feeling well, and hoped that she would forgive me. I promised her that I would never swim out of the safe zone again. She was so happy to hear me say that she told me that she would come back to me tomorrow.

She was thrilled on the other end of the phone, and she said, "Happy birthday, little smoke." "She said she would bring a gift tomorrow, and today she didn't give me a gift because I was unhappy. On my own birthday, she was more excited and happier than me. I want her to be happy like this forever, at least for now. I didn't tell her the news that I was going to study abroad, and I would find a time to tell her during the summer vacation.

I turned around, and my uncle was standing in the doorway looking at me, he was holding a cake in his hand, and as I passed by him, he tried to hold me, but I avoided it. I knew what he was going to say not so long ago, when he asked me "Do you want to leave?" "My answer" will not be, not for the time being. "On the phone, I was leaving next semester.

I went straight into my room, he knocked on the door, I ignored him, I buried my head in the pillow, I cried loudly but didn't make a sound, I had no reason to stay here anyway, it was better for me to leave here, I had decided.

When it was over, it was already completely dark, I turned on the light in my room, I opened the door, and my uncle was sitting by the door, with a birthday cake next to him.

I reached out and pulled him into my room, he put his arm around me and kissed me for a short time, then he opened the cake and helped me celebrate my birthday, he was so excited and happy, I made a wish that my uncle could always be so happy.

By the way, when is his birthday?

I remembered that there were 4 months left before his 27th birthday, and I was already abroad at that time, thinking that I could not accompany him for his birthday, and the joy that my birthday brought me was gone.

Late at night, my uncle hugged me and we lay down on my bed to sleep. The last time like this was two years ago, when we were the happiest, no one asked him to get married, and no one told me, "You're not a little girl anymore." "At that time, liking was the purest liking.

I've been away from him for two years, and I haven't really been happy in two years, and I think of him every time I'm about to be happy, and when I think of him, all happiness is just superficial. I never blamed him, and I wanted each other to be happy when we stayed here at the end. My uncle was already asleep, and I watched, and I held him tightly, and the thought of him one day leaving me was extremely uncomfortable.

The fear that death brings to me makes me vulnerable and sensitive. I have to defeat it, I have to know that it is not invincible, it is not invincible, I told myself, Xing Lu did not commit suicide, those girls have a problem, I heard it right, those girls threatened her, they killed her!

I sent a message to Song Zhiyu, "Xing Lu didn't commit suicide, can you come to me tomorrow?" ”

Song Zhiyu quickly replied to me: "Okay." I turned my phone off and looked at the ceiling, and then I turned to look at my uncle, who gently stroked his face. This summer, the last summer vacation of my youth, I ignored any misunderstandings we had before. Even if we can't be together in the end, then cherish the time we spend together.