shook his head, scolding himself in his heart for being unproductive, a woman has such a little energy, and she can't run away from her children. I don't have a face, I eat back the loss, the last time, the next time the man gives two sweet words and can't find the southeast and northwest, thinking that he doesn't let the women have eyebrows, who knows that when he meets a man, his bones don't sink.

In the north, spring, summer, autumn and winter have four distinct seasons, and the days are short in autumn and winter, and the nights are long. In spring and summer, the days are getting longer and the evenings are shorter. The so-called Spring Festival is not only a vivid word, but also caters to the season.

In the next few days, Zhang Ruolei still stood still. I privately thought that he should have changed his mind, he is not young, he is used to seeing the bright lights, and he has also seen the impermanence of the world, especially the people around him who left without warning, and he showed a hard heart in front of people, and he did not necessarily have no shock in the depths of his heart.

And I'm happy to see it happen, and I'm willing to get by and enjoy a moment of comfort. Others don't want to think about it and dig deeper.

On that day, I heard two employees chatting during their lunch break, and a middle-aged woman of some age taught the other a younger girl where to get along as a couple. A good marriage is nothing more than cheating on each other, you deceive me, I deceive you, and it will be a lifetime. If everything between husband and wife is more serious, I am afraid that not only the quality is not high, but the life cycle may not be long.

By the way, I felt that there are countless masters hidden in the people, who glimpse the essence of life in daily trivial matters but remain silent, and are willing to live as if they were gluttonous rather than resigned.

People who are willing to be ordinary are the most unusual, and there are many people who think about things all day long and think too highly of themselves. That kind of person lives a miserable, pitiful and hateful life.

On this day, Huaihai came to report again, and we have met frequently recently, and the embarrassment between the two has disappeared with the increase in the number of meetings.

Once I was talking about Zhang Ruolei going out to do some other things, only me and him were left, and as soon as the face was cold, the two of us inevitably began to be restrained. Fortunately, he was a man, and he could smoke, and when he smoked, he didn't have to worry about it with me.

We sat opposite each other, gossiped and asked about the bodies of the two old men, I mentioned Huaiping, and saw that his expression was still gloomy, and my heart was slightly relieved.

He took a puff of cigarette and didn't look at me, just bowed his head to persuade him.

"The child is older, Huaiping is a boy, it's okay, don't worry."

I sighed and said damn it, how could I be completely relieved? Unless you keep it in front of you, you can see it, you can touch it, and you can't really put your mind at ease.

I said that I only knew that I didn't know the price of firewood and rice if I didn't have a family, and I didn't know the kindness of my parents if I didn't raise children. People are bad when they read this sentence again one day, and suddenly they understand that it is no longer just a sentence.

Huaihai was silent, but fortunately, Zhang Ruolei returned not long after, and everyone began to talk seriously about business again.

Huaihai doesn't have much to do in the Su family, Su's father Su Yuntian has been secretly controlling the overall situation, although Su's mother often comes to make waves, but she doesn't understand business, and she has no resources or connections, and what she says can't match the horse's mouth, and it doesn't actually play a big role.

But this 20% of the shares did not say, real money, until the end of the hard currency. Huaihai also said Su

My father had already contacted him a few times, thinking that it was a search for the truth, but later I learned that he intended to buy back the shares, and the price was not a problem. Let Huaihai be a middleman, Huaihai brought the words, Zhang Ruolei did not express his position immediately, only said it.

When they broke up, Zhang Ruolei stayed in Huaihai for dinner for a while, he shook his head and didn't agree, saying that he wanted to go home for dinner. I heard that he has been living in his parents' rental house since he was released from inside, and his father is now in poor health, with diabetes complications, and is not often hospitalized.

He's quite a burden. This is all information that I have obtained sporadically from various sources after the fact.

When I had dinner with Zhang Ruolei that night, I asked him if he knew that Huaihai was doing a miserable life now and intended to promote him.

Zhang Ruolei said that I don't worry about being too old, I can worry about everything, does that person still have a dime to do with you? Are you always worrying about it?

I glared at him and sneered.

Say he has nothing to do with me, what about you? I don't know what kind of person you really are, whether you are black and dirty, or chivalrous and tender.

He almost squirted out a mouthful of old wine, and he was muttering there alone, saying that he was still 'chivalrous and tender', and you could not think of this word.

I looked at it: What is this? No matter how fleshy it is, you can say it.

He took a sip of wine, swallowed, and raised an eyebrow at me. Say: Say, I love to listen, and the more numb I am, the more I love to listen.

He knew that I was such a person, and he said that he was invincible in the world, but in fact, he was powerless when he was really swordsman. His face flushed, and he ignored him no more.

Zhang Ruolei helped me take a bite of food, wanted to put it in the bone plate in front of me, thought about it again, and said, "Ah." ”

Motioning for me to open my mouth, I looked left and right, Hongxia was full of cheeks, stomped his feet and softly scolded him for being an old and immodest person, so that he would embarrass me less.

He smiled and said nothing, and left the dish in front of me.

"Meizi, my mother's passport, I've already done it for her."

"Passport?"

I can't care about eating any more.

"What I told you last time is true. I want to send you and my mom out. ”

"Why?"

I was so puzzled that I thought he was just talking.

"Don't make a fuss."

He took a mouthful of food and stuffed it into his mouth.

"You don't know, I got a green card, and my dad is not Chinese. You haven't seen the news, how many high-end talents, rich people, famous and prestigious people in China are actually not Chinese nationals, they are all foreign nationals. ”

I was relieved.

"That's right."

Today this crispy fish sausage is really good, I ate two more bites.

"The old lady is naturally a family and friend, I want to ...... you too"

I put down my chopsticks and sat down.

"I know what you're worried about."

I glanced at him with disgust.

"You know what I'm worried about? It's like a roundworm in my stomach. ”

He doesn't speak, he munches. I kicked him with my foot under the table.

"I mean!"

He looked at me, looked down and picked up the wine in his glass, and dried, still not speaking.

"You mean!"

I gave him another blank look. "My heart

You don't necessarily know all of them. ”

"Others don't know, yours, seven, seven, eight, eight."

I bowed my head and was silent, thinking of Huai Pinglai. Huaiping is the only concern I have in China, and then there is my old mother, she has long lost her wife, and I am the only relative, how can I leave them to go there alone to celebrate my birthday?

Thinking about it like this, the mood is inevitably depressed, touching the glass and drinking, the wine is sad and turns a thousand times, and finally I can't let go of it.

Zhang Ruolei propped up his chin with both hands.

"Let me think about it again, Huaiping and your mother, I really don't know how to arrange it. I don't know if your mother will go with us. You know that the elderly in China are inseparable from their homeland. ”

I touched the bottom of my glass.

"Huaiping, don't talk about the arrangement, you can let me meet him first, let him come back first, or I know where he is, safe, I'm grateful."

Zhang Ruolei didn't say anything, and the two didn't say anything more. If there is less talk, there will be more wine, and when there is more wine, people will be worried.

I poured myself wine, but Zhang Ruolei stopped me and said that I had drunk too much today. My heart was sour, and my eyes were hot. Said Huaiping, this kid......

Speaking only here, the rest of the words were choked in my throat, and I couldn't rinse up a glass of wine. Getting up and leaving the table, the wind outside the door suddenly rose, and he and I couldn't help but shrink our necks and put our hands in our coat pockets.

The spring cold is steep, and the wind in the northern spring freezes the bones and does not freeze the flesh and skin, and it is cold in the heart.

He and I were speechless all the way, only the car music looped infinitely and whispered in the small space, crying and complaining. Halfway through the car, Zhang Ruolei stretched out his hand to hold my hand, and I knew the meaning of that handshake. Looking back at him, all the armor and fortresses collapsed in an instant.

I leaned gently towards him.

"You said that Huai Ping's heart was so ruthless, did you blame me for beating him and scolding him back then, I sometimes think of the harsh words that I used to scold him, and I hate to stab myself with a knife."

Tears flowed down my eyes, twitched the wings of my nose, and I raised my hand to pull out a tissue.

"He hates me!"

I want to wipe these tears, I don't want to open the gate and can't close it, mother and son are connected, Huaiping He doesn't hate me, so I won't even have a message for so many years. I hated myself for being reckless and extreme, and now that I think about it, what could be more important than the two of us being together and him in front of me? Don't say anything rich and expensive, at least get a small errand after graduating from high school, and then study for an adult degree, it's not a difficult thing to follow the steps, and in a few years to marry a wife and have children, how can it not be a lifetime?

It's me, it's me who puts so much pressure on him.

It was also me, who cut him to the ground like a sharp sword.

I know Huaiping, he refuses to fight with open fire and hates me. But if we really see each other every day, it is inevitable that he will not think of his unbearable past and my unbearable face again and again, and he does not want to see him.

He didn't want to see me go like this.

I sobbed and choked, Zhang Ruolei held one of my hands, tight and tight.

By the time I got home, the sky had completely dimmed, and the city had begun to repeat itself, falling into an endless timeline of reincarnation. Silently read the joys and sorrows of every man and woman in the meantime, and the more I watched, the more silent I became.

that

When he got home late, when he went to wash, I went to Huaiping's room to sit for a long time, a scene and an object, every furnishing was what he looked like when he was there, and even his textbooks in junior high school, which should have been thrown away a long time ago, look at me, I am not worthy of being a mother, no wonder Huaiping will go. When he came back, he didn't feel sad to see this, but I was only sad about myself

It is said that maternal love is the greatest emotion in the world, but look at what I have done to Huaiping.

In the name of love, I wantonly hurt him.

How many stupid people in this world have ever overtaken the people they love and love themselves in the name of love, and then pretended to be innocent there?

I was like that, I thought I loved him, but I actually loved myself more.

For so many years, I only loved my own self-taken son Huaiping, and I never really loved the real Huaiping like a mother who loved her son selflessly and without any conditions.

Fragments of the past returned, and those pasts that I didn't want to look at frequently finally completed a counterattack in a quiet night, and no matter how much I tried to avoid it, it was in vain. Those details came to life many years later, and the more I did, the more my regrets and hatreds could not be hidden.

Zhang Ruolei came in silently with a cloud of water vapor, his hands held my shoulders, and he and I were shrunk into a small ball in the shadow of the lamp, the dust danced in the light, and the world was silent and clear.

I leaned into his arms, and he said suddenly.

"Otherwise, let's get married."

(End of chapter)