See, I'm in my thirties, but I still feel sorry for the young man when I deceive him. Who would refuse such a helpless middle-aged woman with an aura of idiocy?

He agreed, and trotted all the way inside, and I could not see the exact situation inside, but it was enough to imagine that I stood there and waited, as if waiting for a great judgment that would affect my personal life and death.

He should have come out soon, and my heart was pounding, and if it weren't for the flesh and bones, it would have jumped out of my chest, which didn't look full.

I was suddenly flustered, suddenly overwhelmed, and suddenly I couldn't imagine that image. He saw me, I saw him, our eyes lingered in the dark night, we didn't say anything, but something must have quietly fallen apart between me and him.

I thought I was ready, however, no.

Not really.

This discovery made me despair.

I ran to the side in a panic, and when I saw a shelter, I borrowed it to block myself. The building was cold, and next to it was a shared bicycle shed, with rows of bicycles of the same color neatly lined up, and I gasped for breath, as if I had really committed a great sin.

There will always be such upside-down things happening in this world, and we are obviously not making mistakes, but we are inexplicably overwhelmed.

The wind ruffled my hair, and I pulled them behind my ears so that nothing could block my view.

I saw Zhang Ruolei come out and be led by the doorman. It was too far away for me to hear the conversation between them. But I guess the doorman must be even more surprised than Zhang Ruolei.

"I don't lie to you, there really was a woman just now, who said that your car was blocking her car, and she tried hard for a long time, but the car didn't fall out."

I think he is very ridiculous and very trying to explain in the wind.

Zhang Ruolei didn't say anything, looked around, and I hid so that I couldn't appear in his sight. He lifted his hand to look at the phone in his hand, maybe it was unlocked, maybe it wasn't, and then he waved it at the doorman, as if to signal that he didn't have to mind too much.

The cold wind blew his shoulders down, and he hugged both shoulders, knowing that he would not be able to see the man he was looking for at this moment. But he didn't turn around, I didn't know what he was waiting for, my back was cold, and I picked up my phone, which wouldn't be nice if my phone rang at this point, so I put it on silent.

When I turned back again, I saw that Zhang Ruolei was still wandering in the cold wind, and a woman ran out of it, the light was not dark, but the night was deeper, because of the distance, so I couldn't see the appearance of the person clearly.

Sure enough, it was a woman, the shadow was sufficient, I couldn't see it clearly, but her intuition was familiar, her figure was good, her hair was very long, her hair was straight, and she ran towards Zhang Ruolei as soon as she came out, she should have called his name, Zhang Ruolei turned around and opened his arms to greet her.

I gasped and turned my head, leaning my back against the cold wall, something colder than the autumn wind and the autumn night creeping through my heart. All of a sudden, I felt like everything was meaningless.

Love, family, man, future,

Career, everything.

Everything was behind me, in a place I couldn't see.

Where I couldn't see with the naked eye, Zhang Yinglei smiled with the woman and said that it was okay, and then the two of them re-entered the hotel hand in hand.

I am reminded of a line from the movie:

--- people, are you only so bitter when you were a child?

---No. It has always been.

It has always been. always。

It's really sad.

After I don't know how long, the wind was getting colder and colder, and I shivered and came out of that hidden corner. Where to go? I didn't react for a moment.

By the way, the driver is waiting for me.

I strode towards the old neighborhood next to me. The driver saw me from afar, quickly extinguished the cigarette in his hand, and then walked a few steps to help me open the car door.

"Thank you!"

I wrapped my coat. The coolness of an autumn night doesn't make me feel warm, but it's better than nothing.

Got into the car door, I still felt cold, shivering, the driver said Mr. Mei, I turned on the air conditioner?

I nodded mechanically. The air conditioner of the car began to work, and a warm breeze blew in and circulated in the car, and the air in the car gradually warmed up. I looked out the window at the city, staring closely, countless high-rise buildings growing up, uplifting, viaducts, expressways, countless streets, roads, street lights flashing quickly, everything was blurred and unshaped.

So bustling city, why is it only a piece of barrenness in my eyes?

I stretched out my hand, and the cold window froze my fingertips, and I quickly retracted as if I had been struck by electricity. How nice it would be if you could stay in this car all the time, the long road is long, the night is long, and there is no end!

I laugh at how many people in this world want to reach the end as soon as possible. Maybe we're at our best when we're always on the road. On the road, everything is not too bad, there is still hope, and you can still have something to look forward to your future, it is not too late, and it should not be closed.

How nice!

On the way.

Always on the road.

There is no end point.

I don't need an end.

Don't want results.

Don't want to.

It's true.

With a cramp in my heart, I picked myself up and curled up my whole body in the back seat of the car. But the car slowed down at this time, and finally, it slowly stopped in the middle of a certain section.

"Mr. Mei, it's here."

"Arrived?"

I sniffled unconsciously.

"So fast!"

Sit up and push the car door. The door slammed shut behind me, and after saying goodbye to the driver, I walked into the neighborhood in a daze. I used to think that my heart had been tempered a thousand times, not that I had thought about breaking up with him countless times in my heart, or being ruthlessly abandoned by him, and a thousand scenes could not escape the imagination of a woman who had been abandoned. I've presupposed, and I've taken countless positions for myself, thinking that if I have been hurt once, I'll be immune to at least some way.

However, only this kind of injury is like a cold, and if you get it a thousand times, the thousandth and first time, it is still possible to ruthlessly kill the person concerned.

I didn't remember until I went upstairs

My phone has been muted, and I see that there are missed calls and WeChat, both business and private, and both. Zhang Ruolei came to me.

I looked at the time, it was past five o'clock, I didn't answer his phone, and he then sent me WeChat. Told me I'd be home a little later tonight, and was having dinner with one of the Hurricane's most important figures. They have been discussing a detail for a long time but have not reached a conclusion, and it is possible that they will have to talk about it for a while.

He also sent me the WeChat location: City Sunshine Hotel.

Ask me, is that the lady who said she needed to move the car outside?

Then there was another WeChat: I love you. Trust me.

I didn't know how to answer, but I remembered the scene outside the city sunshine tonight, he came out to move the car, but when he came out, he found that there was no ghost car owner who was blocked, so he immediately thought of me.

At that time, he and I were standing in the wind, close at hand, but as if far away from the sky.

I looked at him, and he couldn't see me. But who really knows, perhaps, he has always seen me, but I have never looked at him carefully.

Maybe it's not as bad as we thought it would be. People have to live with hope every day. Unbearable is the truth of life, and it may also be a fake. It wears a hideous mask, like a teacher who was serious with a precept in his childhood, and they don't really want to punish us, they just want to teach us a lesson, or just a warning. I hope we will suffer less losses, not be arrogant, and not be arrogant.

Behind the difficulties, there is often the greatest reward for the person who persists in the end. This is the greatest praise of life for human beings, some people only receive that great gift until the end, and some people are so shocked by the terrifying and hideous face of life that they lose their rules and cannot enter the door in their lives. All his life he learned to complain and beg for mercy.

Anyway, life doesn't always give us what we want.

Many times, it's not that life is cruel, it's that we're too greedy. Mortals are too greedy, always want to give what they want in life, cry, anger, curse when they can't get it, we are all like children, never really grow up, many people have never really grown up in their lives.

Let's face and embrace real life like an adult.

Even if she was originally cruel.

In fact, we have never chosen, it is the stupidity of mortals, who have always thought that the right to choose and decide is in their own hands, and they feel indignant because they do not have this right and cannot really exercise this right, which makes them ashamed and panicked, and in order to regain the right, they are full of flaws and ugliness.

You, me, him, us, all the same.

I took off my coat as if I had taken off a layer of shackles over my body.

Suddenly, I remembered the cold-blooded reptile snake, they are treacherous, tortuous, unpredictable, and difficult to tame, and the snake sheds a layer of skin every year, and the snake that sheds a layer of skin grows and matures a year old.

It is said that the snake can turn into a dragon, first out of the grandeur, grow out of the dragon's horns, and then go through the catastrophe, thunder and rain, during which it can not hurt life, all kinds of torture, shed the last layer of snake skin, and then take off the dragon, turn over the hand for the cloud, cover the hand for the rain.

wash

When I took a bath, I remembered the days when I lived in a rented house with Huaiping, it was an old house, and I always shouted at us all day long, either there was something wrong here, or there was an awkward relationship with us. We couldn't do anything about it because we had limited money, so we had to accommodate it all the time. Later, the water heater in the bathroom broke down and there was no money to replace it, so I used pliers to twist the heating button, and when we moved out from there, the landlord had replaced the water heater with a new one, and it turned out that it was finally dead.

Now with this is much more advanced, five seconds of rapid heating, water and electricity separation protection, 24-hour insulation, but also with an appointment function, hot water through the shower gently on the skin, I still remember buying this shower when the salesman who sold the shower tongue lotus flower, said that with such a shower, when taking a bath, there are countless little hands in the massage for you.

Lowering my head, the hot water flowed down the top of my head, down my cheeks, down my neck, down my body, slowly and meanderingly.

It washes away the dirt of the day and the fatigue of the day. Not to mention, sometimes I am more considerate than men.

After washing, I looked at myself in front of the mirror. The years have left their mark on me, and when I was younger, my skin used to be blown and broken.

The best years are entrusted to the least deserving person. However, being young may not be able to recognize the oncoming one, whether it is worth it or not.

(End of chapter)