I vow to be useful, just to not be abandoned.

I stood alone in the cold wind, frostbitten and my fragile heart.

They eventually abandoned me, but I'm not sad because they left me to you.

_

That night, Su Yulan lay on the bed and tossed and turned, unable to sleep for a long time.

She burst into tears.

It was the first time in so long that she had shed tears.

Her angina pectoris.

So she got up and woke up Su Yulan.

She was woken up, still a little sleepy, she rubbed her eyes, and said to Lin Ruoli: "Ruoli, why don't you sleep yet?" ”

"Is there any smoke?"

"Huh?" "Give me a cigarette."

"What's wrong with you?" Su Yulan sat up.

"It's nothing, it's just heartache." "You can't smoke." "You can, why can't I?"

"I can't let you fall into the darkness like I did." "But I'm already in the dark. I am a child born in the dark. ”

"Is it because of Gu Qingchen? Ruoli, tell me about you and Gu Qingchen. I'll help you. ”

"It doesn't matter anymore, I don't need anyone to help me out, I just hope you don't get angry after hearing it."

"Okay."

"The story starts when I was in elementary school, when my parents were by my side. Unfortunately, they always quarrel. ”

"Every day, when I get home, I am faced with the sound of my parents arguing and throwing things."

"I always silently close the door, lie in bed and listen to music, quietly looking at the ceiling."

"I thought that music could isolate me from the outside world, but who would have thought that it would be useless."

"In this way, I lived my life for ten years."

"But I didn't feel anything. Until one day, our class changed seats, and Gu Qingchen and I were at the same table. ”

"That day, I forgot what his name was. So I asked him with a smile, what is your name, and he didn't answer and just looked at me coldly. Later, I remembered it and said to him, your name is Gu Qingchen, is it, and I laughed stupidly at that time. He still didn't answer. ”

"That was the only time I really smiled when I grew up, and I looked at his handsome face and actually had a trace of anticipation."

"It wasn't until later, after getting along for a long time, that he changed."

"He was no longer gentle with me, he began to dislike me, he hated me, and he looked at me with contempt."

"Because he fights very well, he also takes in other henchmen, and sometimes he will bully me and beat me with his group of henchmen."

"They would point to the burn scar on my neck and laugh and say, 'Whoa, how can there be such an ugly woman as you in this world?' Look at her cowering, hahaha. ”

"It's just, you see she's ugly, it's really ugly× what her mother thinks, she gave birth to her."

"If I faced these gossips, they would sometimes kick me and hit me, it hurt very much, but I didn't tell the teacher stupidly."

"They didn't just give me pain, it was a lifelong injury."

"It's okay if others beat me, but he can't, for me, he's a savior, he's a god."

"He was the only one who was nice to me, but what I didn't know was that from that point on, I started to like him."

"Every time I watch other girls laugh, I always think, why can't I live an ordinary life like them?"

"Gradually, my heart died under gossip, and that pain buried all the true thoughts in my heart."

"I put on a mask, I learned to deceive, and I vowed to be the worst person in the world."

"Every time I get home, I feel the most uncomfortable, it's lifeless, like a grave, and I feel uncomfortable."

"I'm used to my parents' quarrels, and whenever I see them, I always feel like I'm watching a farce, and it's quite funny."

"Later, in junior high school, I met you, and I thought I had finally run away. However, in the second year of junior high school, my parents divorced. It was also that year that my grandmother died. ”

"I was raised by my grandmother, when I was a child, I was born prematurely, and I had to be put in an incubator, and my grandmother always watched me, and then when I was a little older, I was taken back to my hometown by my grandmother to take care of me."

"Grandma treats me very well, she is very kind, she always likes to sleep with me in her arms at night, she will carry a rocking chair, sit on it, hold a fan, and watch the stars with me."

"Sometimes, I would go to the field with her, I would help her with the work, and she would compliment me on being smart."

"I'm not in good health, my grandmother always loves to hug me, her body is very warm, and it also warms my heart."

"I have a skin disease in my neck, and she always carries me here and there."

"But then, as I grew older, I was picked up when I was supposed to go to kindergarten, and since then, the environment has changed."

"I'm used to being alone, and no one loves me except my grandmother. At home, I was beaten up by my mother. Every time she and my father had a fight, she would beat me. ”

"Every time she beats me, I hide under the covers at night and cry."

"I was a little one, sleeping alone in a huge room, I was scared, I was terrified, I missed the time when I lived with my grandmother."

"Time just flowed. Later, when I grew up a little bit, one time, my mother took me out, and she bought me marshmallows for the first time and asked me to stand there and wait for her, and I remember very well that it was windy that day. ”

"In that way, I waited until it was dark, I was scared, I understood that I was abandoned, but I was not reconciled, so I walked home again, and my mother was surprised to see me at the door, but she said lightly: Come in."

"From then on, I decided that I wanted to be a child who would not be abandoned by others, and I started to study hard, and that was the first time, because I studied well and got a bonus, and my mother smiled at me for the first time."

"So, from then on, I started to study hard just so that I wouldn't be abandoned."

"However, this time you only know that my parents have gone abroad, in fact, what you don't know is that they abandoned me again, but I am not in pain, and I don't want to cry."

"Because they threw me to you......"