In the dead of night, Song Yiyi stood in front of the window quite lonely, the girl's eyes looked at the sky outside the window blankly, the silver-white moonlight penetrated in, gently sown on the girl's cheeks, no one knew what she was thinking.

Yiyi silently pushed open the window, and the winter evening breeze blew slowly, adding a little coolness.

In the evening breeze, she vaguely saw the figure of the young man, his thin face, and the habitually raised corners of his mouth.

He was running in the sun, and he smiled at her casually, and the pinchia muscle on that face appeared, and his smile was as hearty as a green apple, and there was an imperceptible sweetness.

"Cheng Miao, are you okay now?" The girl asked leisurely, as if she was talking to herself, and there was an unusual smile on her lips, and she didn't know what she was thinking.

Suddenly, the notebook next to the desk attracted Song Yiyi's attention, saying that it was a notebook, it was nothing more than her mood diary, she gently opened the footer, and felt that something was inappropriate, so she turned a few pages back.

After that, Song Yiyi picked up her fountain pen, and soon after, lines of clear and beautiful handwriting appeared on the milky white paper:

"Dear Cheng Miao,

How have you been? In the blink of an eye, you've been out of here for two months. I don't know, are you still used to the life in Bozhong?

I know you're under a lot of pressure, you're like a string that always strains yourself up, and I don't know if you're doing it right.

But I guess you still have to know to rest, I don't want to see you again when I see you with heavy beer-bottomed lenses, you are not cute at all, although it looks fashio

。

By now, you probably haven't slept yet. The moon tonight was strange, and unlike usual, it did not want to hang openly in the night, but shy hid by the branches.

I guess it must have something on my mind. However, as soon as you look up, you can see the sky full of stars, and the outline of the Big Dipper is also exceptionally clear.

On nights like these, I often think of you. I'll admit, it's a strange feeling.

I don't know when such a person appeared in my life, and I would think of him whenever I cried or laughed. It seems that I only want to share all the joys and sorrows with him alone. Cheng Miao, this person is you.

Do you remember the first time we met?

You stood on the stage that day and looked dazzling. I stood on the stage and looked at you secretly, and I didn't have a match to talk to you.

I'm in a bad state, and I've made a mess of the lengthy hosting speech. At that time, I inexplicably felt the urge to cry. You're dragged down by me and get your lines right over and over again.

After that, for some reason, I cried out loud. You glanced at me silently, and then took the presiding speech that should have belonged to me.

I was very tired at the time, so I may not have had time to say thank you to you, but your bright side face was deeply engraved in my mind.

It's ridiculous to think about, we've known each other like this, and you've broken into my world so abruptly that I'm not the slightest bit defenseless.

I don't know when I fell in love with you, maybe it was the first time I played a line, or maybe it was earlier. Anyway, one day, I realized that my life was a little different from what it used to be.

Many times, I think of you without warning. And every time, I can't relax for a long time. Perhaps, this is called love.

After that, I became more and more careful about what I did. I began to get rid of all my unruly habits, such as biting the lid of my pen, and washing my bag frequently to make it look more comfortable.

I love to see you talking on the podium in the playground, but at the same time there is an inexplicable inferiority complex.

Sometimes, I wonder if I could have lived a easier life if I wasn't as dazzling as this.

That's why I'm trying to close the gap between us, and honestly, I'm not a person who loves to read, and I like plain and easy to understand words, which is just a low-level fun.

But when you chattered to me about Meursault, and talked to me about Van Gogh's sunflowers, "Dancer in the Dark", I realized that I was not from the same world as you.

When you feel the sharpness of the writing of "The Moon and Sixpence", I stupidly ask you which country's currency the sixpence is.

When you were sucking for the story of Zhiming and Chunjiao, I was holding a copy of "Ah Yuan" and laughing heartlessly, and when I saw you, I secretly hid it in my sleeve, which seemed to be something unsightly.

You didn't realize my embarrassment at all, and talked to me about how vast the Sahara is in Sanmao's pen and what kind of style the small building in Xiangxi in Shen Congwen's pen has.

I didn't answer your words for a long time, I just left you there alone and talked to yourself.

After a while, you stopped, and then stared at me dumbfounded. Why, if you don't like Dickens, then I won't mention him again.

I pursed my lips and didn't say another word for a long time.

I don't want to tell you that I don't know who Dickens is, and I don't want you to peek into my ignorance. I just silently pushed you away and walked home alone, letting you call my name over and over again in the back, but I never looked back.

When I came back that day, I thought about it for a long time. The more I think about it, the more sad I feel, maybe, I can only stand quietly by your side and keep nodding.

But I wasn't willing to do that. After a night of deliberation, the next day, I went to you with a shy face and made a request to go to the library with me every day after school.

You looked very excited that day, compared to normal days, those watery black eyes were magnified, I could clearly feel the light in your eyes, that imperceptible warmth was swallowing me up little by little.

Looking at the casual smile on the corner of your mouth, I couldn't be happy at all.

Actually, I didn't want to do it, I just wanted to close the gap between us.

But since then, I, Song Yiyi, have become a good girl in your eyes, you don't see the embarrassment of my brain storage, but think that I like to read books and am a literary girl.

Even, on my birthday card, you wrote in a small love letter: Every girl who likes to read books is cute, and they have a pure heart that yearns for beauty.

I didn't know how to express my feelings, and I was really happy when I received your gift, but more than that, I regretted my self-righteousness.

If, that day, I told you frankly, I was just an idiot, I didn't know Zhiming and Chunjiao, and I didn't know who Meursault was, maybe, I wouldn't have to pretend to be so difficult in the next time.

Actually, I want to tell you every time you talk about it, but unfortunately, I don't have the guts.

You want me to be elegant, and I'll try to package myself as you like. I know this is a silent deception to you, but I just want to be closer to you.

Every time I tried to speak, I was afraid to see your disappointed eyes, so I didn't say it.

But as it turned out, it was still me who was wrong. I fell in love with the eagle, and the eagle was destined to spread its wings and fly.

One day after that, you told me that you were leaving here, and that you could not say for sure whether you would come back.

I'm genuinely happy for you, but at the same time, I'm sad for myself.

That day, I locked myself in my house, and I refused to eat, as if I felt a thick wall between us.

You are an eagle soaring with its wings, and I may not even be a sparrow perched on a branch. I'm just a worm, a lowly worm, and I drag my ugliness through the swamp.

Now that I think about it, I shouldn't have disturbed your life, you are an eagle flying with wings, and the blue sky should be your shelter, and I am just a branch when you dock.

I am a passerby in your life, but why, do you want to appear frequently in my dreams, in my mind, when I want to erase you, but I find that I can't do it at all.

Even, every word you say to me, they will become my most precious memory, let me think of it unconsciously, and sink myself deeply.

I didn't go to see you off that day.

In the crowded waiting hall, I saw you standing there alone for a long time, and then got on the plane lonely, while I kept hiding in the corner of the terminal building and secretly looked at you, from beginning to end, I didn't have the courage to say goodbye to you.

It's just that after your flight took off, I waved my hand slightly in the clear sky of that day, and tears flowed down my eyes, and all the words I wanted to say to you were swallowed into my throat by me.

Since then, I have tried to restrain myself from thinking about you, but I order your favorite sweet and sour pork ribs in the cafeteria, and when I pass by the bookstore in front of the school, I subconsciously pick up a new issue of Southern Weekly, and plug in my headphones on the way home to play the jazz music you often hum.

But I don't like any of this.

I always dumped most of the sweet and sour pork ribs on my plate, and I never looked at the thick stack of Southern Weekly that I bought home.

I hate jazz because I can't hear the emotions in it, and when I want to tune the music in my headphones to Jay Chou's

ap, but he has long forgotten that favorite song. Instead, put your favorite jazz on the loop of singles over and over again.

Of course, I know that the days of sharing a pair of headphones with you are gone. I don't have a chance to pretend that I'm eating too little in front of you.

But as time went on, my stomach really shrank a lot, and I got used to the familiar tunes, and I couldn't stop it.

Having said so much, in fact, there is only a simple sentence, I miss you, I want to see you.

Remember to take care of yourself, and I will stand silently in place, waiting for your good news. I won't send you this letter, after all, this is not the first time I have written to you.

May happiness be well.

Yiyi 2017.02.19