- Bell Ring.

For a moment, Lin Hui's eyes suddenly went blank, making him confused.

Looking around, of course no one exists.

What the hell just happened? Could it be that you are daydreaming? Auditory hallucinations?

He felt very unwell, as if his stomach was refluxing.

Even began to become dizzy, and he held on to prevent himself from falling unconscious.

…… It was a nightmare, and he had a nightmare.

Is it because of a passing relationship with death?

Unfortunately, the opportunity has been missed. It felt like being pushed away by death.

It seems that today, let's go back first.

As soon as I stepped onto the platform, the tram behind me immediately rattled and set off for the next station.

Place the commuter pass on the sensor and pass through the ticket gate.

There are still more than ten minutes to get home. Lin Hui's mind had refused to think about anything.

Even if I want to think, I can't do anything, and my mind is a blur.

The ninth floor of that building.

From the moment he began to draw, his memory began to blur......

Scenes overlap intermittently like photographs.

Drawing of black lines, dark orange sky, sunset, restlessness, impulsiveness.

Red shoes, sad eyes, lines, numbness, impulsiveness.

White dresses, black cats, maidens, words, wind, dust, the impulse of death.

Everything is far from reality, and the brain refuses to react.

That's not real, it doesn't exist in my real life.

“………………”

Come back to your senses. Suddenly I found myself standing at the door of my house.

The key, turning, holding the doorknob, and was about to open it at the moment, Lin Hui hesitated.

It's been a long time since I've had such a mood.

Once, when he was a schoolboy. For this door is always ...... Feeling repulsed.

I don't feel anything anymore, so I don't think about it anymore.

He opened the door and entered the house, stepping onto the floor.

"I'm back"

Talking to yourself in the air. Put your shoes away and walk into the living room. If you want to go back to your room, you have to pass through here.

Stepping into the living room, the antique furniture that "the man" prefers and dazzles visitors is crowded on display.

In the dazzling array of antique furniture. He saw the back of "that man", and his father, he—was sunk in the couch with a bottle of brandy in his hand.

My father didn't drink a single amount of alcohol on weekdays, only drinking a little on special occasions or banquets, and almost never drank alone at home. What happened today? Father seemed to be in a good mood.

It must be the first dozens of overseas solo exhibitions, and it has been well received again.

is worthy of being a world-class famous painter - Lin Yiyang.

No matter what your nature is, as long as you paint a good work, you can be admired by the world.

"Dad, you're back, good night." He said in a flat tone without any emotion.

Lin Yiyang maintained the same sitting posture, didn't even look at Lin Hui, and opened his back to him.

"Why are you wandering outside so late? You don't have much time left for your solo exhibition, and you're lazy while I'm away? ”

A low, yet powerful voice, full of majesty and power.

In contrast, Lin Hui's tone was particularly flat.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to embarrass Dad, just keep drawing. ”

"Really? Then show me it. ”

Yiyang said this, and Lin Hui took out the sketchbook from his handbag.

He flipped through the pages of his work, and his thoughts boiled for a moment.

Carved picture on the building、Black distorted landscape painting...... It was originally intended to be a suicide note.

The experience of not having a sense of reality really emerges at this time.

He resisted desperately.

Those things, not true, can't be true. It was just a dream, just an illusion. It doesn't exist in my real life.

"What's the matter, bring it quickly."

Lin Hui was still hesitating, and the sketchbook was taken away by Yiyang, staying on the page of the black landscape.

Yiyang examines the painting in silence.

Plop, plop, heart beating violently.

What's going on? Why are you so restless? What are you afraid of? Even if it is seen, what is there to worry about, even if the person says something. It doesn't matter anymore.

What am I still afraid of?

He asked himself questions and answered himself, and said to himself in his heart.

As a result, the thoughts and emotions in Lin Hui's heart gradually receded.

“…… This is...... What is it? ”

Yiyang's gaze left the sketchbook in his hand and looked towards Lin Hui.

"Are you kidding? Daiki, what's going on with this mess? ”

"I'm sorry."

"This solo exhibition is the starting point for you to officially become a painter, you should know how important it is, right? Why did you draw something like this at this time? ”

“…… I'm sorry. ”

"Didn't you just say that you wouldn't disgrace me?"

"Yes."

"It's a shame to take out something like this. It's not even garbage. Don't you feel embarrassed to draw this kind of thing yourself? You are my Lin Yiyang's son. After speaking, he tore the sketch in his hand in one go.

However, Lin Hui's reaction was rather cold.

"—I'm sorry, Dad."

Yiyang tore up the drawing paper and threw it all into the trash can in the corner. Then he sighed vigorously and walked back to the couch and sat down.

"Don't draw anything like ten again...... No more ...... This ......"

Lin Yiyang seemed to want to say something, but he didn't say it after all.

"Forget it, let's go."

"Yes, I'm back in my room."

Lin Hui leaves the living room. Head to the bedroom on the second floor.

Why, that person will always only think of himself, the unfinished words just now are to tell Lin Hui not to lose his face, not to lose the face of the world-famous painter, Lin Yiyang, right?

It's really, it's boring.

I just have to do your will and be an obedient puppet, right?

This is the so-called real world.

That's my reality.

All the while, I have been following your lead.

And then—I realized that the path you led was a tunnel with no exit.

It's boring.

There seemed to be a faint murmur in the air.

Before he was sensible, Lin Hui knew painting. He has no other value other than painting, but he cannot grasp himself in painting. So now he has more and more tendency to deny himself.

He is just a part of his father Lin Yiyang, unable to express himself, and has no right to resist.

Lin Hui, who was in elementary school, watched his classmates liberate themselves from boring schoolwork and go to play everywhere after school every day, and he always went home obediently immediately.

Because his father forbade him to play with his friends.

Making friends with children of the same age can damage their sense of art and hurt them, and for these reasons, they don't even have the freedom to play with their friends.

In the beginning, painting was just a pure pleasure, but as time went by, Lin Hui felt more and more pain. Although he has always looked down on those classmates, he envies that others can go to cram school while complaining about exams.

All the pain of being demanded, all the hardships, seek solace in painting, hoping to forget the unpleasantness in the process of painting.

It's a pity that there is still a father.

I wanted to live up to my father's expectations, I wanted to be praised, these thoughts were too strong, too heavy, and finally my heart was crushed. If he painted as he liked as he pleased, he would be refuted by his father, saying that he could not make it on the stage, but if he painted according to his father's standards, he would be criticized for being incomplete, and he would be forced to suppress his inner emotions and paint works that could win awards. In order to escape the painful feelings, he had to let himself have no ideas, and became a machine, automatically drawing the works requested by his father.

Keep your distance from others. Do not feel emotionally towards anyone. Not interested in anyone. Just watch the time pass.

Sacrifice what your heart really desires just to get a great painting technique.

After that, he won numerous awards, and finally received the sponsorship of a major publishing house to prepare for a solo exhibition.

Even so, he was not happy at all, he was not in the slightest mood for joy, and he could not laugh from the bottom of his heart.

A boring life.

Boring world.

This is my real life, and the so-called reality is nothing more than that.

It must be—some kind of retribution.

Because I was born into this world.

Because my presence is not allowed.

It's a retribution.

"—Lin Hui."

When the bell rang for the end of class, Lin Hui got up from his seat and was about to move to the science classroom for the next class, when he was suddenly stopped from behind. When I looked back, I saw two male classmates in the class, smiling mysteriously.

Behind them, there were several male and female classmates, all of whom also looked at Lin Hui together.

It seems that he has something to say to him, and he sent two classmates to represent him.

The guy reached out and patted him on the back and spoke.

"You're going to have a solo exhibition recently, right? I heard that I was interviewed on TV, is it true? ”

“…… Well. ”

"Art is your specialty, by the way, the picture hanging at the door of the principal's office was also drawn by you, right?"

“…… Well. Lin Hui nodded perfunctorily.

Of course, there were familiar faces in front of them, but they had never had such an intimate conversation with each other. Anyway, just a few perfunctory words will be fine. Result –

"That's how it should be. Your father is such a famous painter, as his son must be—"

The next moment. Lin Hui immediately glared at the mouthy guy.

The guy was frightened by Lin Hui's sharp gaze, and suddenly couldn't speak.

Lin Hui didn't wait for him to finish, and directly turned around and set out of the classroom.

- Bump!

The sound of the door slamming shut echoed.

It's boring, these guys.

What if my father is famous?

I'm not as good as him after all, am I?

Never be able to surpass that being.

No one understands me, no one knows my worth.

It's no wonder, because I'm worthless.

Why am I here?

What am I doing?

Living in this meaningless world, my existence is meaningless, is it?

No, no, it shouldn't be like this, I should still be saved.

If I can be saved, I think it can only be done in that place.

After Lin Hui left the classroom. Attitude towards him. Including the guy who spoke just now, and the classmates who followed behind to watch the excitement, they all looked unhappy.

"Something."

"It's a big deal."

"That's terrible, what kind of attitude is that?"

"It's just a matter of asking about drawing."

"It's a wonderful name, and it's going to die."

One of them said without an eyebrow.

When the female student on the side heard it, she immediately blurted out: "By the way, I heard a person in his class in elementary school say that last year, didn't a student from the middle school next door commit suicide by jumping off a building?" That guy used to run to that building. ”

"Really?"

"So what?"

"Stupid, if he prefers that kind of place......"

"How?"

"Maybe I'll kill myself."

"Wow - it's possible. That guy is always weird and super terrifying. ”

"It doesn't matter, if you want to die, hurry up and die. It's good for everyone that this kind of eye-catching guy will disappear sooner. ”

"That's right."

After saying that, these people all laughed.

Open your mouth wide and clap your hands and laugh at high decibels.

Laughing at someone else's death.

What kind of thoughts did the boy have on that day?

What's going on in his mind?

What motivates him to jump from here?

Lin Hui climbed to the ninth floor again.

The scene in front of me is no different from the previous days.

The reason for re-entering this building is because of what happened that day. That "dream" that was out of touch with reality felt so realistic that he couldn't help but doubt his memory.

Originally, staying here would have made him feel at ease. There is a kind of sweet and sour, and a little bitter, as if returning to the place of birth. As long as you stand here, it seems that you can understand the thoughts in the young man's heart, and gradually "assimilate" with the young man.

It has always been that way, but today it is different.

Unable to assimilate. Nothing can be felt.

The poems left by the boy did not inspire them either.

It's all caused by that "dream", and it's that dream that disrupts real life.

He stared intently at the gray wall, hoping to see something.

As if a spell, he whispered the words that came into view.

It's boring......

The view of the setting sun, the black sketch, the dirty hands, the color of the blood.

Black lines, broken compositions, boring speech.

It's really boring to depict this boring world.

I don't even understand this, and it's even more boring.

It's boring. It's boring, it's boring

The words turned into a pen in Lin Hui's heart, tracing the image.

Finally began to assimilate.,An irrepressible impulse.。

That's right, it's a revenge.

Revenge for the meaning of existence.

Revenge on that person.

What to express oneself and convey one's thoughts is, in the final analysis, just an excuse.

If that's what art is called, I'd rather give it up.

Give up everything.

Only that painting, and myself, is honest art. Just like that day...... The boy made himself a "poem", and I also wanted to make myself a painting, the strongest and the biggest last art.

Lin Hui opened the window, climbed on the windowsill, and leaned out.

The paintbrush in his heart waved, like the conductor of a symphony orchestra, depicting the black sketch that was criticized by his father as worthless.

A tower that leads to the sky, a tower that pierces into the sky.

If you don't have wings, climb them on your feet.

Transform yourself as a teenager on that day and imagine yourself standing at the scene a year ago.

A boy who has only lived for fourteen years, but has already seen the end of the world.

It's boring to live, the boy has given up everything, and who can stop him from flying.

So, I'm going to fly too.

Fly to the end, fly to the highest point.