People always behave differently and understand each other only by what the other person has done and what they have not done. Although it is often wrong to judge feelings through behavior, this ability that has evolved over tens of millions of years has undoubtedly ensured that human beings can survive on this planet well in different eras.

It's hard for people to really get to know another person. If you don't say anything to each other, do nothing, or say only one part and only do another, then your actions represent a part of your thoughts, and people accumulate understanding of these actions, which leads to the formation of an evaluation of you.

But this alone is incomplete, human beings do not have complete control over their own actions, some tiny muscle movements, quietly slipping out of the convulsions of consciousness, a casual eye movement, often conveys more accurate information than a predetermined action.

That's why lying is always more energy-consuming and costly. When it comes to lying, Representative Foley has his own definition. If someone asks about something, it is a lie to deliberately say that it does not correspond to the facts; Concealing part of the truth, or not telling someone something, is not lying, at least it's very different.

The news of his mother's serious illness was intended to be concealed from the beginning, and for Foley, telling his mother that she was suffering from a disease that cannot be cured by mankind is no different from not telling him, and the fact has happened. For mothers, whether benign or malignant, they should be treated with peace of mind and improve their daily routine, and there is no difference between the two. He privately decided not to say anything, only to inform him that the surgery was successful and that he would need to undergo one to two years of follow-up treatment.

His father never questioned Foley, he didn't think there was any need for Foley to lie about it, his father was not only honest and even a little indifferent, when he was young, his mother was in charge of the family, his father only worked to make money, and Foley could hardly see his parents traveling together, nor could he hear his parents' quarrels.

After my mother became seriously ill, my father did not make any special changes in his daily life, taking care of three meals a day, and in addition to that, he read the newspapers in the yard, as if he could never finish them.

"Tell me, where is my report? Why can't I find it. ”

"The reports are all here, what do you want to see?"

"I don't believe what you say, I don't think that luck is so good. Tell me if I'm dying. ”

"Not at all, Mom, you're too fond of messing around."

"Foley, you didn't lie since you were a child, and you can't hide me from me in this matter."

"I'm not lying, the truth is that the doctor said that you are very good, but it is just a minor operation, you don't need to worry about it at all, you are too worried."

After imagining such scenarios on a daily basis, Foley develops a reflexive response to such questions. At first, my mother only occasionally brought up such problems, and she was always persuaded by herself that she was fine. Later, with endless insomnia and loss of appetite, the mother's suspicion became more and more serious, and this suspicion became an unwavering belief that it must be very serious, so Foley deliberately concealed it.

Maybe that was the time when Ephia disappeared, because of her mother's illness, Foley spent the whole day in a state of confusion, and didn't even notice that Ephia hadn't been in the coffee shop for a long time.

If he had realized earlier that Ephia wasn't at the coffee shop, maybe the situation would have been completely different. Efia was missing day by day, and when Representative realized that so many days had passed, he could only rely on retrospection and reminiscence, remembering when it might have been, what had happened in those days, the rainy season or the gentle wind, he thought of his mother's hospitalization for surgery, and finally determined that it was at that time, that Ephia was gone.

Half a year later, he met Sammel, watched movies, went on dates, and he was often absent-minded until Samel appeared.

"I want to move in with you."

One night, Samel proposed. Forley wanted to refuse, but he didn't know how to speak, a week later Shamel moved into his apartment, the relationship between the two did not change, Shamel got up early, is not particular about eating, but likes a fixed diet, the two of them watch movies together on weekends, usually Shamel sits in the living room to draw, Foley curls up on the sofa to read science fiction, Shamel never asks what Foley is reading, and Foley no longer knows her other interests except that Shamel likes to draw.

It was during that time that Ephia disappeared, and Representative Foley finally confirmed his hypothesis.

Once woken up in the middle of the night by her mother's phone call, Shamel asks what happened, and Representative Foley says it's nothing, and that his mother has insomnia. He rolled over and kissed Shamer, who at first resisted a little, and then, perhaps too sleepy, stopped refusing, and Foley imagined Ephia, and his mother's insomnia, hiding everything that made him miserable, and this pain was hidden deeper and deeper, until he reached the deep valley where he could not find them if he wanted to find them and take them out.

Heavy gasps, sweat, he plunged into the valley, endless twisting slopes, sand mixed with the spikes of earth and bushes, no pain, the night was hidden in the night, hidden under the heavy breathing of the people, the mist that spit out covered all the lies, could not be seen clearly, could not be touched, until the scorching and unbearable infarction, gathered in the abdomen, he rushed to the toilet, retching incessantly, like a woman who was pregnant with an unspeakable person, crawling and vomiting in the dark.

After that, he hid on the couch and prayed for a good night's sleep for Sammel, and the phone did not ring, and he flipped through the pages of his novel and waited for dawn.

The last time Jack stepped on that yellow earth, he had forgotten everything, the amnestic chip flickering in his brain, the light was faint, and even if there was no moon in the middle of the night, it was impossible to find that little starlight from the detours of the neural network.

He had never overcome his fear, why would humanity make such a senseless attempt. Overcome? Step up your game? Brave? They are all psychotoxins that were only needed by the low-intelligence lives of the old days. Jack lost his right hand in a fight, but now he is completely free from the pain of it, and he has full happiness like a whole person. Neither inferiority nor worry. First of all, you have to learn to forget and let life start again. ”

"I can't sleep Foley, go get me that kind of thing, you young people know what it is."

What does the mother want, some kind of oblivion? No matter how much I comforted, "Don't think about that", these words sounded right, but it was just a fantasy to ask a person who was thinking about one thing not to think about it, so what my mother wanted was some kind of hallucinogen, some kind of nervous drug.

She didn't want to question me, she couldn't control it, she couldn't help it, she couldn't want to, she couldn't.