No wonder it was said that.

Because the current Xia Jing is like a stinky skin without a soul.

Embrace the emptiness of your heart, let your daily life numb yourself, and empty your head every day to live your life.

His heart was empty and lifeless.

He doesn't allow himself to be a flesh and blood man, and if he doesn't teach himself to be a walking corpse, his spirit won't be able to hold on.

As long as you use your spirit to play the same self as always, play the black-hearted glasses boy in your imagination, and cut off the connection with other things, at least you can barely survive.

Hide your feelings.

The current self is simply a copy of the previous person - this thought only came to mind, and Xia Jingxuan expelled it from his mind.

The reason why this thought suddenly occurred was because the road next to the park that I was passing through was the place where I first met her? Or maybe it's because

- Out of the corner of my eye, why did you catch a glimpse of her standing there as if she was waiting for someone to show up?

「…… Ahh

She wears a college uniform.

Looks like a petite figure and childish appearance that is only junior high school age. At first glance, it looks like a godless expression with an empty head. However, the moment she recognized Xia Jing, she frowned, revealing an expression that seemed to be distressed and didn't know what to do.

Lan Yang spoke, "Xia Jing."

Goodbye after half a month.

It took Xia Jing thirty seconds to squeeze out a reply.

「…… What are you doing in a place like this?"

Lan Yang did not answer.

Just slowly leave the barbed wire fence against his back and walk towards the summer scene.

"Summer view."

She called out Xia Jing's name again. It was as if she didn't recognize any other words.

It was as if she didn't know what else she could do other than shout her name.

「…… You ......."

So Xia Jing dredged the clogged atrium and reluctantly squeezed out the topic.

"Is it okay to run out and stay in a place like this?"

"Nope."

Lan Yang shook his head.

"I asked the sand to let me out."

Xia Jing found that she seemed to have been separated from her face and her eyes that looked up in both directions for a long time.

A thousand questions unintentionally turned into all kinds of questions that came to my mind.

Anno: How is she doing now? Xia Jing forgot what the last conversation with her was. Did she get out of the blow of her parents' deaths and pick herself up again?

And Lin Yu, that arrogant little child. I remember the night I separated from her half a month ago, she was crying for some reason. Until now, I still don't understand the reason why she cried.

And the guy. That guy she's

Has the situation changed now? What about the struggle with Ye Chun and other prosperous factions?

In the end, Xia Jing still failed to ask the questions that had arisen in his heart.

You can't ask, you can't get involved, I'm already an outsider.

Seeing that Xia Jing pursed his lips and looked away, he was silent, and Lan Yang also lowered his head and said nothing.

The wordless silence lasted for a while.

Xia Jing couldn't think of what to say for a long time, so he just froze in place.

「…… That, Natsu Jing."

On the other hand, Lan Yang spoke timidly after a long pause.

"I'm sorry."

"Huh......?"

Apologize.

It feels so good to listen to Xia Jing's ears, and I am stunned. However, Lan Yang seems to have been prepared.

"I didn't even find out. I've always ...... I didn't know she was Sister Ya."

Perhaps the silence was to make up your mind. Once he had the courage to speak, Lan Yang's voice did not hesitate at all, and it was clear and sincere.

"If I had found out earlier, I wouldn't have made Xia Jing sad and sad. So ......."

Xiaya.

Xia Jing's sister. Lan Yang's former friend. That is, now Anais.

At this time, Xia Jing finally understood the reason why Lan Yang came to meet him today.

She must have been condemned by guilt since what happened that night.

If the fact that Anai is Xia Ya could be revealed earlier, and Lan Yang could have discovered it earlier, he might not have delayed until the last moment to know that Ye Chun was the mastermind behind the scenes.

That's why she's so upset.

This is especially true for the outcome of that night, and for the summer scene.

"Sister Xiaya is obviously close at hand. And I can't ...... for Xia Jing."

However.

That's right, but

"No, no...... Senior Sister Lanyang."

Xia Jing will not be redeemed and healed because of her chagrin and apology.

"I...... No. It's not what you think."

The words that finally came out of his mouth seemed to be answering the wrong question, but Xia Jing couldn't think of a more appropriate word.

The responsibility for her sister's affairs is not on her, and Xia Jing doesn't want to blame anyone at all.

Because, the one who should find out that Anai is her sister is not someone else, it is herself,

On the contrary, Lan Yang, who had only heard the sound through the wall, had no reason to blame himself for this. After all, her voice and way of speaking are the same as when she was alive, and there is no reason to recognize her.

That was Xia Jing's own responsibility, not anyone else's.

Right.

It's my fault, it's all my fault.

To get to the bottom of it, Ye Chunhui planned a rebellion because he met me.

The village was set on fire, many deer died, and Anno's parents died in vain, all of which can be attributed to that encounter. The reason why my sister disappeared was probably because she was forcibly taken away by Ye Chun. If Charya hadn't been my sister, maybe she wouldn't have disappeared. As the initiator, what qualifications do I have to blame others?

Moreover, once you shirk the responsibility to others, Xia Jing has already experienced it herself. The result will only lead to more victims.

…… It's like an autumn chant. That's why Xia Jing closed himself off.

He decided to empty all his memories, keep his distance from everything, and live an ordinary life like a cold machine. He had no intention of enjoying this kind of life at all, and murderers were not allowed to enjoy life.

"Senior Sister Lanyang, you don't have to feel guilty."

Xia Jing smiled, just like dealing with other people at school for a while, showing an empty smile without emotion.

「…… Summer view?"

This time, Lan Yang was confused, and her face clearly said "Why do you say that".

Xia Jing did not explain.

"I wish you had hated me in turn. In that case......

I'll be able to taste the pain.

By this – to torture yourself.

Xia Jing glanced at Lan Yang, left a "goodbye" and walked away.

Even after passing by Lan Yang's side, she still didn't move, as if she was stunned.

Xia Jing quickened his pace.

In order to get rid of Lan Yang's gaze on his back as soon as possible, he walked faster and faster.

Fortunately, Lan Yang did not chase after him. Is it because she can't muster the courage to catch up? Or is it because she is completely despised by her? Xia Jing silently prayed in his heart that the reason was the latter, and when he returned home, he went to his room as usual.

Because his mother was in the kitchen, Xia Jing only opened the door to say hello. My father lay on the sofa and didn't look back, but just said, "You're back." Maybe it's because you don't have to go to work, and it seems to be lazy.

Fortunately, neither of his parents noticed Xia Jing's abnormality. Because if his parents found out and held him accountable, Xia Jing wouldn't dare to explain to them what was going on, even if he tore his mouth.

Moreover, in the past half a month, Xia Jing has lived the life of a model high school student. I don't stay outside, I don't spend the night outside, I go straight home after school. Changing the indulgence in messing around with girlfriends and the like a while ago, it should be a gratifying thing in the eyes of parents.

The reason why the two elders in the family didn't say much was probably because they mistakenly thought that Xia Jing had something unpleasant with that girlfriend. However, the embarrassing thing is that it cannot be said that such a guess is completely inconsistent with the facts, thinking of this, Xia Jing couldn't help but smile bitterly.

Xia Jing eats at dinner time and retreats back to his bedroom after taking a shower. He is no different from the average adolescent high school boy, and he has no interest in enjoying family fun in the living room with his parents. Parents may also think that Xia Jing is going back to the room to do homework. In reality, however, he was just spending his time in his room with nothing to do.

It's just that today it seems that the heavens do not follow people's wishes.

After nine o'clock in the evening.

When Xia Jing sat at his desk in a daze at the homework that showed no signs of progress, his mobile phone rang.

Just hearing the ringtone of the incoming call, Xia Jing was so frightened that his heart almost stopped.

When this song is set to be dedicated to a specific group rings, it means that the call is from someone from the Deer Clan.

「……」

Xia Jing held his breath and looked through the LCD screen to see who called.

In fact, whether to take it or not made Xia Jing very confused.

I don't want to talk to her. I was afraid to hear her. Even what her intention was in making this call, Xia Jing didn't want to imagine.

Just turn off the power so you can avoid facing it and ignore it.

- What should I do?

Xia Jing hesitated for about fifteen seconds, but the bell still rang non-stop, and there was no sign of quieting down. So Xia Jing picked up his mobile phone and pressed the call button tremblingly.

Even "Hey?" Such a simple greeting, Xia Jing couldn't say it.

On the other end of the microphone, the voice came first.

"Summer view?"

I don't know if it's anger or if it's a more negative and gloomy emotion. At least I could tell it wasn't a voice in a good mood—Yasuno asked in a tone of voice.

「…… Hmm."

Xia Jing squeezed out his voice and replied, but he couldn't say anything else.

What kind of greetings such as "what are you doing with me" or "what happened next", he can't say even if he is killed. Because Anye's family was almost killed by Xia Jing.

After Xia Jing's brief response, Anye on the other end of the phone seemed to take a deep breath.

After a pause, she asked straightforwardly, "Senior Sister Lanyang went to see you today, right?"

"Hmm."

Is it because of this incident that she will suddenly call today?

Xia Jing thought to himself: It seems that An Ye should have called me to scold me. If I could just hang up like that, I don't know how easy it would be. Of course, I am not qualified to hang up. Even if Anno did kill me, I couldn't blame anyone else.

Ahhh

It's just that there can't be that kind of cheap atonement in the world.

Yasuno opened his mouth and said, "Senior Sister Lanyang, she has been crying since she came back."

「…… Did she cry?"

"She just kept crying and saying she wasn't useful."

From that understatement tone, it was elusive to feel any emotion.

As if he was just explaining what had happened, there was no inhibition or frustration.

"So I comforted her, it's not Senior Sister Lanyang's problem."

Xia Jing had no room to interject.

It feels like the other party doesn't seem to expect any response from Xia Jing.

It's as if he's just trying to pretend to be calm and say what he wants to say and what he should say.

Even so, the excitement in his tone slowly increased bit by bit.

"And then I told her that I think we're all useless...... Even if the person who went to find you today was Ye Ya, the ending would not change. Because we are all members of the deer tribe, we are the most direct cause of your current position. You feel guilty about us. So, no matter what we say, you won't listen.'"

"No, I ......."

Negative words blurt out involuntarily.

『…… Me.'"

However, Anno interrupted Natsujing's words and suddenly reversed his breath.

From the original suppression that stifled feelings, it has been transformed into a gentle atmosphere.

"No matter what decision you make, Xia Jing, I have no opinion. After all, I don't have the right to guide you on what to do, and I can't dictate your life. Even if you decide that you don't want to see us again, I don't think so."

No, it's not.

It's not just about gentleness.

"But...... But, Natsujing.'"

Tenderness began to quietly rise sharp spikes.

"My parents...... Mom and Dad are dead.'

In the midst of the spikes and sobs, there is also grief.

"I don't blame you. I don't want to say that to a friend like you. But—you know, Natsujing, if you just cocoon yourself like that, I won't forgive you, absolutely not. That doesn't mean I'm going to take revenge on you, but...... Even if we never meet again in this life...... I will never forgive you.'"

It's like a gentle knife.

"Anno ......."

"Turn on the power."

Anno sniffed and changed his voice again.

"That's all I can say. If that doesn't work, I don't think it's helpful to say more.'"

- Turn on the power?

Xia Jing didn't have time to ask what that meant.

The phone was hung up without warning, and Xia Jing barely said anything from beginning to end. This one-sided conversation ended without interaction, leaving only silence that spread throughout the room.

Even so, Xia Jing didn't even have the room to feel the silence in his heart.

He had forgotten about breathing, and the noise of agitation buzzed in his head. Xia Jing didn't realize that it was actually the sound of blood circulation in the body, but just gritted his teeth.

What a joke, he cursed secretly.

Is it Anno who is swearing? Or yourself? Or is it some kind of human destiny or fate, a power that human wisdom cannot grasp?

"Really...... I see."

Turn on the power.

Actually, there is no such thing as "I didn't have time to ask the meaning". That's just another excuse to avoid facing reality.

What Anno was referring to—that answer was already clear to Xia Jing.

Power supply.

At the beginning of accepting it, I couldn't open it because I couldn't muster up the courage.

As time went by, I began to have the idea that it would be better to just leave it alone. So far, even if you open it up, it won't help.

Later, under the influence of the transfer of feelings to Ye Ya, Xia Jing also semi-deliberately adopted an estranged attitude. In order to think about his future, he is also afraid of being bound by the past.

Is all this in Anno's eyes? The answer must be yes. Otherwise, she wouldn't have conveyed that girl's mood to Xia Jing on that day, and she wouldn't have said that kind of thing today.