Ling Zishan sat on the bed, looking at the familiar but somewhat unfamiliar face that cared about her every word, she felt like a world away, with a heavy smile in the depths of her eyes, but the expression on her face was broad

Only the moment I can see things at the beginning, there are layers of ripples in my heart, and then the heart lake gradually calms down, and it seems that it is no big deal to see and not see, but this spaciousness, how much pain you have to go through to be able to do it

Ling Zishan got better completely, and when she was able to move around freely, it happened to be almost the Qingming Festival, it was drizzling outside the window, and the place where the earth and sky connected in the distance was gray, she suddenly wanted to go home, Qingming Festival! It's time to go back and worship grandma, it's less than a year away from home, and Ling Zishan feels that her life in Y City is like a thing from her previous life

The weather in the Qingming season, I like the drizzle the most, this kind of rain is endless, I remember when I was a child in my hometown, it was a brick house, every year at this time, there will be a lot of small water droplets on the walls and floor, wet, so that the naughty Ling Zishan fell a lot because of the slippery ground, and therefore, she didn't know how many times she was scolded by her grandmother, and she felt wronged at that time, but now she thinks of it and feels so missed

"Grandma, aunt" came to Mrs. Ning's room, and saw that Mrs. Ning was also here, so she greeted politely

"Well, what's wrong?"

"Grandma, I want to go home on Qingming Festival"

"If you want to go back, go back."

Old Madam Ning patted the back of Ling Zishan's hand affectionately, thinking that after coming out for so long, it was normal for children to be homesick, but when Old Madam Ning thought of that family's attitude towards Ling Zishan, she was angry

"However, Shanshan, you have to promise grandma, if you are wronged, you will come back immediately, you are not allowed to feel that you can endure it and pass, now the Ning family is also your home" I don't worry about a few words of advice, and my eyes are full of worry

"Well, I will" Ling Zishan felt warm in her heart, these words seemed to make her feel warmer than the spring sun outside

Only Mrs. Ning and Mrs. Ning knew about Ling Zishan's homecoming, and Mrs. Ning knew that Ling Zishan would not take the initiative to tell Ning Yuqian, and Mrs. Ning also specially told her daughter-in-law not to tell Ning Yuqian

When Ning Yuqian and Ning Xuan knew that Ling Zishan had gone home, it was on the evening of the day that Ling Zishan left, and when Ning Xuan didn't see anyone coming down to eat, Ning Xuan opened his mouth to ask, and Mrs. Ning said slowly, "Shanshan is home", and there was no follow-up

When he knew that Ling Zishan was going home, Ning Xuan's whole body exploded, and he was so angry that he jumped to his feet, but he was helpless, after all, the person had already left

And Ning Yuqian also lost his mind slightly after knowing that Ling Zishan left, mixed with unknown emotions in his heart, and returned to the room without saying a word, looking at the sunset outside the window, the orange sky and white clouds reflected by the sunset, so beautiful scenery did not come into his eyes, and the deep black and deep pupils were full of remorse

I have to say that in the matter of Ling Zishan's homecoming, Old Madam Ning was indeed black-bellied, and she took this opportunity to force him to face his heart head-on in this way when she knew Ning Yuqian's true feelings for Ling Zishan

Sometimes, people are like this, people pretend to be indifferent when they leave, and only when they leave can they see the true emotions in their hearts, this sentence was said to Mrs. Ning when she saw Ning Yuqian's reaction

Walking on the muddy road after the rain, the air is full of the sweet smell of fresh earth, and the dirt road is lined with unknown plants, forming a green and yellow bond at a glance

Speckled mud splashed on Ling Zishan's white canvas shoes, the dirt road was covered with mud marks that the car had walked into, and the trees in the distance turned white after the rain

The clouds gradually dissipated, the sun appeared in the sky, the sun shone in the white mist, reflecting the colorful scenery, the streams of the mountain streams meandered into the distance, forming silver ribbons, and unknown insects in the woods chirped, knocking on her heart one by one

Familiar everything, that is a unique memory of childhood, although this old village is no longer inhabited, but because of the remoteness of the city and town, most of the buildings and scenes have retained the appearance of childhood memories, but the things are still the same, but the people are no longer the people of that time

Ling Zishan's smart and deep eyes were staring at the crowd of people who were clustered together not far away, those were her relatives, and the things that happened before and after her grandmother's death and the high school entrance examination were as vivid as yesterday

Thinking of this, Ling Zishan's eyes were filled with a trace of hatred, but she reacted in an instant, what do you hate? Nothing to hate! They just show the most ordinary scenes of human nature

Xu is in just a few years, Ling Zishan has experienced gains and losses, life and death, her mentality is much better than before, and many things are more indifferent

"Sister" Ling Anqing walked over from the crowd, looking at Ling Zishan with big smart eyes, "Let's go, my parents called us up"

Ling Zishan's grandmother's tomb is in the middle of the mountain, they need to climb up step by step, both sides of the path are overgrown with weeds, the dew after the rain is swaying on the leaves, the wind blows gently, the dew still falls on the soil after all, and it is instantly absorbed until only an oval imprint remains

Ling Zishan, who came to the tomb, didn't talk to anyone, only those people squeaked and shouted for her to pull weeds, put incense, and burn paper

"Shanshan, your grandmother was the most painful person in her life, are you worthy of your grandmother if you don't pull out the weeds?"

"Yes, you should be on your knees, too"

"Isn't it? Snort, your grandma doesn't hurt her granddaughter, but she hurts you, an outsider."

"That's right, and if it weren't for you, Mom wouldn't have died, hum, such a stupid person, I really don't understand why Mom still treats you as a treasure"

“……”

The resentful voice fell on Ling Zishan word by word, she couldn't tell whose voice was who, and whose mouth was that sentence, she only felt that every word was beating her heart, and the pain was incomparable, like ten thousand arrows piercing her heart, making the wound that had been slightly healed bloody again

Ling Zishan knelt in front of the tombstone, her white hands burned the paper money one by one, and her little face, which had been indifferent, finally showed a heavy sadness, and a pair of big eyes full of emotion were full of tears, as if the tears would collapse and fall in the next second

Grandmother:

Are you okay in heaven? Your granddaughter has a thousand words to say to you, but she doesn't have to stop there

I want to tell you about my life in the past year, I want to tell you about the grievances I have suffered over the years, but at the moment of standing here, I feel that I shouldn't say anything, I have grown up, many things have learned to judge for myself, learned to make independent choices, and naturally I have to learn to bear it myself

My aunt said that you have endured hardships all your life, raised several children when you were young, and raised me to adulthood in gossip when you were old

Do you blame me for what they say? Do you think I hurt you? My aunt said, if it weren't for me, you should have grown up and enjoyed your old age! If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have died sooner! Is that really the case?

You can see your granddaughter's life now, right? My granddaughter sometimes even wonders, did you bless me at that time, grandma? It must be, right? Otherwise, with such a serious injury, how could I still be alive!

When you were in the hospital, you said that you were worried that no one would take care of me after you left, and my granddaughter wanted to tell you that now I am doing well, and the people of the Ning family are very good and take care of me, so you don't have to worry about me anymore!

There are many times when your granddaughter doesn't even want to go back to the Ling family, will you be disappointed when you hear me say this? Definitely, right? But every time I come back, I only feel suffocated, my granddaughter here can no longer find what she used to be, and they are no longer the same person I used to be!

You raised me and taught me how to be a man, from my wah wow to babbling, and then gradually growing up, your granddaughter is now a big girl, it turns out that unconsciously, you have been away for so long!

Some time ago, when I couldn't see, when it was all in a dark world, I often dreamed, dreamed of being a child, dreamed of you, dreamed of our days in my hometown When I dreamed of being in my hometown, I often came back alone with a lot of flowers and plants, playing at home; When I dreamed of that time, I always complained about the people I didn't play with, and always complained about why we had to live in our hometown all the time, a place where birds don't lay eggs

I dreamed that I was disobedient, and you ran after me all over the street with a rattan stick; When I dreamed that I was studying, you personally accepted me to school and dismissed; I dreamed that every morning, when you called me to get up, there would be a bowl of hot breakfast waiting for me

Now, my granddaughter misses that time so much, and now I have experienced all kinds of things to realize that at that time, it was the most carefree time in my life, a time that I can never go back to, and I can never have it again

Grandma, granddaughter may not come back in the next few years, I want to chase my dreams, I want to run as hard as I can, tell those people, you raised me up, there is nothing wrong, I will be your pride, forever proud!

……

It wasn't until the paper money was completely burned and the flames were extinguished to herald the end of the worship that Ling Zishan slowly got up, at this time, Ling Zishan's two eyes had turned red into rabbit eyes, but she kept her head down, and this group of people would not look at her, so no one noticed her abnormality

The tears are still spreading, and her heart is still painful and she can't breathe, but life has to go on, and she has to continue to move forward with the high hopes placed on her by the old man

In just one year, she has grown from a girl who is ignorant of the world to who she is today

Within a year, she grew up like this, this cruel world did not use time to make her grow up, but used experience to urge her to grow

On the way back, there was a light rain

The rain fell on Ling Zishan's black plush coat, like a layer of white mist sticking to her clothes, looking from a distance, it was like outlining the outline of a black figure with a white paintbrush, this thin and sad back fell on a person's eyes, and those dark and deep eyes were full of distress

It turned out that she went home not to leave, but to come back to worship the person who raised her, and the uneasiness in her heart because of her departure finally gradually dissipated