"Little junior brother, how have you been reading books lately?"

On the Internet, He Ning was chatting with Tang Mingyao on QQ.

Tang Mingyao was about to cry when he saw this rare senior sister, and replied: "After reading "The Man Who Faces Death", it is only a popular science book, but I still understand most of it; In addition, I only read a third of the book "Existential Psychotherapy" in the dictionary, and I feel that I understand half of it at most. Senior sister, you came just in time, I have accumulated a basket of questions here, and I want to ask you for advice. ”

"Hahahaha......"

He Ning sent a string of laughing texts: "When I first started reading the original English book, there was such a process. You're only in high school, and you're able to read half of the original, which is already amazing. Any idea when I started to understand this? ”

Without waiting for Tang Mingyao to speak, she asked herself and replied, "Senior year!" I didn't barely understand these books until my senior year, and even now, I can only say that I understand 80% of them, and I dare not say that I understand them all. ”

Tang Mingyao said: "Anyway, I know more than me, what, I'll sort out the questions and send them to you later, and you have to be responsible for answering the books you introduced to me."

He Ning: "You're still relying on me, aren't you?" Send me an email and I'll get back to you later. Ask, how do you feel after reading the book, and has the anxiety of death been reduced? ”

"I was much better for a while, I slept a lot better, and I was less impatient. But lately, it's been a bit back-and-forth......"

"Is it influenced by the outside world?"

"Well, an elder has passed away."

"Condolences." He Ning said, "The solution of psychological problems is a long-term process, and it is normal to be a little repetitive in the middle. ”

"Thank you, senior sister, I know."

"By the way, have you found the psychological root of your problem? Curious to ask, it's inconvenient to say that you can not say ha. ”

"I guess I found it, but it's inconvenient to reveal."

"It's okay, childhood shadows, I know."

Tang Mingyao touched his chin and pondered, the shadow of childhood?

I don't seem to be a shadow of childhood, and the matter of rebirth has nothing to do with childhood.

But there is no need to explain this matter to my senior sister, and after chatting with He Ning for a while, he turned off QQ, and sent the accumulated questions with his mailbox, and then turned off the computer, picked up the book that he had read a third of it, and read it.

While reading, make your own summary.

Why do people have death anxiety?

Because I'm afraid of death.

Why are you afraid of death?

1. Affected by the death of people around you, especially the impact of unnatural death.

2. Being infected by the death anxiety of others, especially parents. For example, your parents feel that there is no hope in this life, and there is no hope in their lives, so they tell you from when you were a child that all their hopes are pinned on you, and you must get ahead...... When you grow up, you're likely to suffer from more severe death anxiety.

3. I feel that I am wasting my time, I feel that there are still many things I have not done in my life, and many regrets have not been made up.

4. Unique experience influences, such as war trauma and Tang Mingyao's own rebirth experience......

…………

Among them, points 3 and 4 can often be reversed and traced back to points 1 and 2.

Tang Mingyao summed it up and found that his problems can be roughly attributed to the first reason. That is affected by the unnatural deaths of the people around him, just like this time he was affected by Uncle Wu's incident.

In fact, his rebirth can also be attributed to the fact that his "current self" was affected by the unnatural death of "his original self".

Once the cause is found, the next step is further self-healing.

The essence of this practice is: hold back bad emotions in your heart, please confide in, don't stuffy in your heart, stuffy will hurt your body.

When we speak with our mouths, we may not know what to say, or even not say it at all, but when we write with a pen, most of the time we write it out.

In addition, Tang Mingyao also summarized some other methods in the book.

One of the most effective: confronting death.

Fear of death can be roughly divided into three parts: fear of what happens after death, fear of the "course of events" of death, and fear of the end of life.

Among them, "fear of the end of life" is the most central part, and people will be afraid of "death like a lamp going out", which is more frightening than the unknown and dying process of the world after death.

That's why, it's a truth that many people are afraid of death when they waste their time.

The specific explanation is: when life is wasted, you will feel that no one will remember you after death, so you are very afraid. But if you have a work that will survive and become a classic while you're alive, you're probably not so afraid of dying, because you know you won't be forgotten.

Tang Mingyao thought about it, how should he face death?

He can also correspond to the three parts of the fear of death.

First of all, you can experience extreme sports, such as bungee jumping, and feel the feeling of being near-dead.

Secondly, work hard to make money, exercise reasonably, maintain good health, and don't let yourself lie in a hospital bed in the future and be unable to move, dying and struggling. Even if there is a day, you must be fully prepared, such as having a lot of wealth, you can ask n top nurses and x top medical experts to consult you...... Or the right to self-end your life!

When you have a plan, you don't panic so much.

And the third point, fear of the end of life. At the end of the day, it is to try to leave something to this world while you are alive, and this is the best way to treat the "fear of rebirth and death".

Why does he feel like he's running out of time now? The learning efficiency is so high, and the study is still high-intensity every day?

Because with his level at this time, it is not enough to leave something for the world.

Martial arts and Xianxia are outdated too quickly, wait for eight years and ten years, who still remembers those works full of routines? And the kernel of those is not his own, those, just a tool he uses to exercise his writing and make money by the way.

What he really wanted to stay behind was something that had his own thoughts.

Now he has probably found a direction, which is to write a book related to psychology and popularize the subject of psychology to the general public.

This is also the only way to achieve self-actualization, the highest level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

The two are actually the same.

After some analysis, Tang Mingyao finally made his life goal clear.

First, make money, ensure the quality of life and all kinds of life necessities.

Second, maintain family affection and love. If there is friendship, it should also be taken into account by the way, which is a necessary condition for happiness in life.

Third, efforts should be made to popularize psychology among the general public. Only by taking this step can I not feel wasted in life, can I treat death anxiety to the greatest extent, and can I realize my own needs.

These life goals are higher than the short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals he wrote in the "system notebook", and they are also the direction of his next efforts.

After sorting out and planning, Tang Mingyao once again began to read and review.

Long-term goals are composed of short-term goals, and the second diagnosis is coming, and having tested Huang Tao is his current short-term goal.