In your youth, have you ever secretly liked someone?

I have!

Summer 2010.

For a student in the third year of high school, before the college entrance examination, nervous about the college entrance examination, after the college entrance examination, nervous grades.

When I counted the days to the day when I could check the results of the college entrance examination, I stayed up all night, got up at three or four o'clock in the morning and sat at the computer desk, but without turning on the computer, I shook my feet and unconsciously bit my nails, stared at the black screen of the computer, and thought about something.

A few hours passed, and I was startled by my parents' sudden push on the door, and when I saw that my parents were more nervous than me, they asked me, "How many points, how many points?" ”

"Investigating!" I turned on the computer, exhaled, typed in the URL written by the class teacher copied from the blackboard, and then entered the candidate's information, and gently confirmed the query.

I was nervous and scared, I was afraid that I would miss something, and my eyes were staring without blinking. Maybe it's because I've been open for too long, so when I saw the results, tears slipped down unconsciously. The five flavors are mixed, whether it is sour or disappointed, I don't have time to distinguish it.

My mom and dad tapped me on the shoulder and went out without saying anything. I guess they must have been disappointed!

Sure enough, within a few minutes, Dad pushed the door in again, "What the hell are you doing at school?" Have you read well? "This was the first time my dad yelled at me very angrily, and I didn't answer, just cried vigorously. I am a student in the key class of the liberal arts class, and my grades are usually in the top ten of the year, which is not outstanding, but it is not much of a problem to get into a better one. The result turned out to be the result of three books.

Dad saw me crying with his head down, and tried to restrain his anger and went out again.

I had an indescribable frustration, and I always felt like the sky was falling.

At dinner, I trembled and moved to the dining table after my mother called me many times, but I didn't want to move the chopsticks. At this time, my mother patiently coaxed my 2-year-old sister to eat, and my father sat in the living room smoking vigorously, looking at the ashtray full of cigarette butts, I didn't dare to go over and call my father to eat. Mom went over to call and was scolded several times.

Although our family's family conditions are not good, the school we attended since childhood is the best in our town. Of course, the school is good, and the tuition is expensive. Last year, in order to prepare me for the cost of going to college, I opened a snack wholesale store, but I had no experience and no way, and I was basically losing money, and I didn't make a little money until this year.

When I was a child, I often heard my grandmother say that my father had a deep obsession with reading, because since he was a child, he studied much better than his uncle, but because the conditions at home did not allow him at that time, his father took the initiative to give up his studies and went to work alone for his uncle to study. So, when I was born, my dad pinned all his hopes on me.

Now that I have taken this test, how disappointed and unwilling he must have been. I took a few bites of food and felt like chewing wax, and I couldn't swallow it. I wanted to go over and comfort my father, but I didn't have the courage.

My mother pushed me down, "Go and call your dad for dinner." ”

"Oh," I moved over with heavy steps, "Dad, eat." ”

Dad nodded, threw the cigarette butt into the ashtray, doused it with the unfinished tea in the teacup, and got up to sit down with me at the dinner table.

I saw my dad pick up the bowl and think of something, sighed and put it down, "What the hell is going on with you, are your usual grades fake?" Why is the test so bad? ”

"I ...... I don't know! ”

"I don't know, I don't know, you eat, I'll call." As I spoke, I got up and went out to make a phone call, and my tears flowed down again.

I don't know how long it took, but my father came back after the call, and said again: "Girl, Dad just talked to your uncle on the phone, I thought about it, maybe the school in our small town is not good, so you failed the exam." It just so happens that your uncle is doing business in the city, why don't we go to the city to repeat the study for a year, a year is very fast, you see......"

Before my dad could finish speaking, I answered, "Okay! ”

I could clearly see that my dad heard me agree, and the "flame" of hope rekindled in his eyes, he finally smiled and took a big bite of the bowl, and sandwiched a chicken leg for me, "It's okay, we're only 17 years old this year!" A year passes quickly, come, hurry up and eat. You have to be nourishing to have a good brain. ”

In this way, my father and uncle entrusted me with a relationship, and let me enter the best high school in Fuzhou City, Fuzhou No. 1 Middle School, from Minqing County.

It may be because of the repeater class, but it is not yet September, and the school will be announced on August 20.

In order to let me study without worries, my father asked my uncle to rent a house at the school gate and arranged for my mother to live with me so that I could take care of it. So on August 15, I drove with my parents to Fuzhou No. 1 Middle School.

In the evening, my father took me to the campus of Fuzhou No. 1 Middle School, probably to familiarize me with the life of the new campus as soon as possible, and as we passed by the court, I noticed the boys sitting on the edge of the court talking to the boys playing on the court.

That's a boy who can't even get your eyes attracted!

He has fair skin, delicate facial features, tall and outstanding temperament. If he was born in ancient times, he must be worthy of the description of "Mo Shangren is like jade, and the son is unparalleled in the world".

When he casually looked sideways, I pretended to look away, pretending not to care, and I already had ripples in my heart.

"Girl, you see that the environment of this school is better than our original high school, and before the school starts, there are a lot of students in the corner of the campus who are reviewing their homework. You're going to have to make the most of this year. ”

"Hmm," I replied, no more. In fact, before I came, I was still quite awkward in my heart, although there were three books, but I was also an undergraduate student in the end, but I didn't dare to say it. But I'm pretty sure I kind of like the school.

My dad took me around and went to the supermarket, bought me and my mom a lot of groceries and some food, and then left me and my mom and drove back to take care of my sister and the wholesale business.

I would love to say to my dad that I will try. But I can't say it.

Later, I often think back that maybe it was the failure of the college entrance examination that I could understand how high my parents' expectations were for me, or maybe it was the "senior year" that I could understand that in addition to my studies, I might meet someone who was destined in the dark.

Because I became classmates with him. He stood on the podium with a smile, and for the first time I could look at him intently, he had a very interesting name, Liyou.

Rites, rites, reasons.

Although I had a pimple-covered face throughout my adolescence and was not good at dressing up, with a big ponytail, a wide T-shirt that was either black or white, and black or blue denim trousers, my personality was outgoing and cheerful. It's impossible for me to be nervous about standing on stage and introducing myself like today.

But I was nervous. Because I saw him as if he were looking at me, I stammered, "Same...... Hello students, my name is ...... Iraqis. ”

"Is the so-called Iraqi people on the water side?" A boy immediately grabbed my words, and the whole class burst into laughter.

I was so embarrassed that I wanted to go straight into the hole, and I knew that my name didn't match my own image at all. Fortunately, the head teacher helped me out, the head teacher was a man, surnamed Fang, I only heard him say, "Be quiet, be a gentleman to female classmates, be bold and loud, they are all classmates in the same class." ”

I bowed my head and nodded, but didn't speak. The class teacher applauded me and asked me to return to my seat.

This school does not like to share a table, everyone is an independent table, because my college entrance examination score is at the bottom of this repeating key class (1) class, so I sat in the last row of the third group from the door, and he and Li You sat in front of me.

Actually, I'm not short, but I'm definitely not tall. The 165-centimeter tall man sat at the last table, and he was more than 1.8 meters tall in front of me, and I didn't expect to be able to see the blackboard. I guess if there is a wind blowing in front of me, I can be cut off by him.

But even so, I was happy to sit behind him, and even secretly happy. At least if I had stared at him blatantly, he wouldn't have noticed me.

Thinking about this, I took out the book from my schoolbag in a happy mood, but I didn't expect him to suddenly turn his head and startle me, "Classmate, let's change seats." Easy to sleep. ”

I nodded stunned, and he took the book in my hand directly to his desk, and then placed his bag on my desk. I forgot what I was thinking, so I just got up and switched seats with him.

At that time, I didn't know that this was his "machismo" mentality, and it was just because he felt that a girl was not suitable to sit in the last row, so he found a random reason to change places with me.

The math teacher who gave the lecture was an interesting old man, and maybe I liked the way he lectured, and maybe my own math grades had a big advantage in the liberal arts class, and maybe it was ...... He's behind me.

I was very straight and listened very carefully throughout the class. I was able to finish the exercises assigned by the teacher very quickly. Looking around, the students are burying their heads in solving problems, and they won't notice me for a while.

I hesitated before carefully placing the eraser in my palm on the edge of my desk, then picking up the pen and pretending to be working on a problem, and an "accidental" eraser was dropped to the floor by my elbow. I thought it was natural to bend down to pick it up, and then secretly looked at him, he frowned, as if he had encountered a problem, and after a while his brows stretched out again, and the morning sun sprinkled on his face, so that my eyes were reluctant to leave for a moment. Suddenly, he looked up, I hurriedly grabbed the eraser in disguise, "bang" the back of my head hit the corner of the table, my tears swirled in pain, I was stunned to hold back, it was too embarrassing.

"Are you alright?"