Chapter Fifty-Six: The Mandala

I was a good girl who had been immersed in the rolling red dust for more than ten years, and I was thrown to the ancient temple and Buddhist temple, completely cut off the contact with the outside world, and thoroughly realized what it means to call the earth and the earth not to be called every day, and without the service of the maidservant, I had to rely on myself to eat and drink, so I went to the small kitchen to make a fire and cook.

The golden branches and jade leaves of the dignified Qin family, in order to maintain my father's face, do not let the people in the Buddhist sect have an opinion on our Qin family, I get up on time every day, simply wash up, and rush to the big (hall diàn) to participate in the morning class with the monks, the morning class of Qinglu Temple is the most important part of hard work, except for Dugu Hao and other cheeky people will not go, no matter who in the temple even me, must attend on time, not late, otherwise it will be punished according to the temple law.

The morning class starts with Sanskrit chanting, and the monks in the big (hall diàn) chant Buddhist scriptures, pray for the blessings of the people, wish the country and the people peace, Sanskrit sound loud and bright, very **. I am not a disciple in the temple, and the abbot only told me to hide in the corner and listen quietly to learn, chant the Dharma and sing the Dharma, and this is washing away the dirt, irrigating wisdom, washing away troubles, and obtaining clarity. I was still young, and I didn't understand the pain of the mortal world, and I slept in the morning class in a drowsy, and no one controlled me, so I barely got by.

On this day, after the morning class, the monks in the temple gathered to eat fasting, and I (body shēn) was a woman, so I went back to the wing room for breakfast. As soon as I stepped out of the big hall diàn, I saw Dugu Haoyi (body shēn) standing in white clothes beside the pillar thicker than one person, obviously waiting for me, I walked over with a disgusted face: "Buddhism, how can you put away the style of the gentleman, in front of the Buddha, are you embarrassed to be so arrogant?" Can't you dress modestly? ”

The monks of the entire Qinglu Temple are all one (body shēn) gray clothes, clean and pious, I picked out a light gray plain robe from the crowd, and he was alone every day wearing a (body shēn) moon white ((swing dàng) dàng) to shake ((swing dàng) dàng) to go to the stinging (swing dàng) dàng, piercing the eyes tightly. I hid as I could, trying not to appear in the same place with him, so as not to attract attention. In the land of Buddhism, there should naturally be a posture of pure cultivation, and I can't afford to lose this person.

Dugu Hao is accustomed to a thick-skinned trick, and thinks he is free and easy: "This son doesn't like the color of a (body shēn) gray, the Buddha treats all living beings equally, and he won't care about me." ”

I threw him a big white eye, didn't bother to take care of him, and walked directly past him (body shēn), this person was full of nonsense, one (set tào) one (set tào), listening to my ears with calluses. He hurried to catch up, and his heart seemed to be good: "How about we walk around after breakfast later?" ”

"Don't go!" I only went to hang out with him when my head was burned, and I didn't know how he was trying to play tricks on me.

"There are mountains and rivers in the courtyard, you live for a few days, these scenery is probably tired of seeing, if you don't follow me, you will only have to copy Buddhist scriptures to pass the time, can you sit still?"

I didn't laugh (肉ròu): "Of course Miss Ben - sit still." "Who would be so masochistic as to lock himself up and copy boring and unclear Buddhist scriptures, I brought so many drama books, and it was when it came in handy.

Dugu Hao crossed his arms and remembered something ridiculous: "This son forgot to tell Qin Shibo that you were trying to match me and Murong Ying by hiding his old man's intentions. ”

"Dugu Hao!" He doesn't open which pot to mention, as the saying goes, villains can't be guarded against, not bad at all: "I just picked out Sister Ying's intentions with you, where can it be considered a match?" I didn't put a knife on your neck ((forced bī) bī) you marry her! ”

"Saying that you are stupid really exalted you, Murong Ying's matter will be postponed and then mentioned, will you leave or not?" He looked at me for a long time, and his peach blossom eyes seemed to be smiling, and he was very bad.

"You're really (yin yīn) soul never gone." I pulled out my legs and walked back to the side room quickly, pushed the door into the house, and saw a table full of exquisite pastries and soups, which were clearly not the porridge and side dishes I had eaten these days, and I didn't have to think about it to know that it was Dugu Hao's ghost again. I glared at him back, but he was fine, and sat down as if he had nothing to do, as if rewarding me: "My son has a good heart (love qíng) today, and ordered someone to leave a copy for you when preparing breakfast." We'll go when you're done. ”

I reluctantly sat down across from him, with mixed feelings: "Dugu Hao, how can there be a shameless person like you in the world?" I followed my father's wishes to come to the temple to cultivate, do you know? A light and simple diet is the most basic, you get such a luxurious table, how much can I eat alone? If you can't eat it all, it's nothing more than throwing it away, and how much silver will you waste in this time? ”

It's not that I'm pretentious, I've been in Zhongming Ding's food house since I was a child, I don't have to worry about food and clothing, it's false to say that I don't have extravagance, a meal in Qinfu has a lot of tricks, but I'm in Qinglu Temple right now, and the land of Buddhism is really not suitable for extravagance. If it is said to be a Qing Xiu, it should have the appearance of Qing Xiu.

"Cultivation is free in people's hearts, if you uphold the idea of cultivation in your heart, why care too much about form? There are distracting thoughts, even if you cut down on food and clothing, you will inevitably be entangled by greed, hatred, and hatred. ”

I drank sweet soup to cushion my stomach: "Who wouldn't tell a big truth with a mouth?" I don't see that you have Buddha roots. ”

There is a bit of seriousness in his cynicism: "The world is full of displaced poor people who can't even eat, not to mention the war in Kyushu, everyone is born different, rich and rich, it is not something that you Miss Qin can save by eating one less meal, put away your overflowing compassion." ”

Choked by him speechless, I had to bow my head and continue to eat, in fact, I want to say that the world is so big that my strength alone is like an ant compared to the troubled times, but people should do something in the world, if they do nothing because of their limited ability, what is the point of coming to the world to walk?

A small bowl of sweet soup, two small pieces of pastry, and I was full. In the temple, I can't say that I am bitter, but I am a little depressed, and I am a lot calmer after slowly getting used to it, plus I have a whole box of idle books to read, and I have something to do, and it seems that it is not so difficult. In the past few days, except for the morning class, I honestly stayed in the wing room of the other courtyard, looking at my pamphlet page by page, I was not curious at all what Dugu Hao was doing to pass the time, if it wasn't for his bad idea, how could I be trapped here? It's best if he's suffocated here, and I'm relieved.

However, I see that he is doing well, and I don't see any traces of panic.

I went to Sipa, wiped the corners of my mouth, and rinsed my mouth with water: "Where are you going to take me?" ”

He sold Guanzi: "You will know when you go." ”

"Qinglu Temple is so big, I haven't been up except for the back mountain, can you still turn the sky?"

"What? Don't you dare to go? ”

The agitation method is useless to Miss Ben. If I hurt a hair, my father will not let him go, what am I afraid of?

"Since we are not afraid, we will set off now."

Dugu Hao led me out of Qinglu Temple, towards the mountain road that is getting farther and farther away from Qinglu Temple, at first I casually followed him (body shēn), the heart (情qíng) was quite leisurely, how did I expect to go back The mountain road is narrow and rugged, nine twists and turns, after walking for a long time, my physical strength is inferior to Dugu Hao, and gradually fell behind, my calves were very sore, I couldn't help but stop, found a stone and sat down, rubbed my sore legs and stomach with my hands, and yelled at Dugu Hao with a resentful face: "What kind of ghost road did you pick?" It's so hard to walk, Miss Ben's feet are going to break. ”

Dugu Hao obviously thought that I was useless, and I lost my temper when I couldn't walk: "You are a woman, you don't exercise enough, and your body is weak, what does it have to do with this mountain road?" Follow me, if you get lost, the mountains are full of wild beasts, and you will be gnawed to the bones, and I will not be responsible for collecting your corpse. ”

"Dugu Hao! How dare you curse me like that! "I was simply blown up.

He ignored me anymore, and actually continued to walk on his own, completely looking ready to leave me alone, and my angry roar echoed ((swing dàng) dàng) over the entire mountain road: "Dugu Hao, you stop for me!" ”

The gentleman's revenge, ten years is not too late, between the current disadvantage, I am very reluctant to follow behind Dugu Hao, hard to move heavy steps, after a lot of hardships finally arrived at the destination.

This is the closest place to the top of the whole Qinglu Mountain, looking down, you can see the clouds and mist, he stood on the top of the mountain and smiled, full of charm: "We have arrived." ”

I still have a few steps to reach the top of the mountain, and there are words in my mouth: "Dugu Hao, you bastard, I am willing to agree to come to this ghost place with you, it must be a demonic barrier, you wait, see how I go back from Qinglu Temple to get this account back-"

I finally stood next to him and looked down, and I was stunned.

"How could there be—"

I looked at him in disbelief, how could he know-this secret dad didn't even confide in me, only happened to be heard by me after a drunken experience, Dugu Hao he-

I rubbed my eyes vigorously, convinced that it was not an illusion, that this was a scene that would only appear in a dream, and the mandala flowers all over the mountains rushed into my eyes, (hot rè) strong and rich, showing a strong vitality, enough to make all of a person's (hot rè) (情 qíng) burn out, I have to admit that all this is really beautiful, so beautiful that it is shocking, and the beauty is thrilling.

"Dugu Hao, why are you-" What was his purpose in doing this?

"I heard that this is Mrs. Qin's favorite flower. If I remember correctly, Madame Qin's taboo (日rì) is almost here. ”

"What the hell are you trying to say?" Dad and I never mentioned my mother's affairs in front of outsiders, because this is the pain of our father and daughter comforting each other, and my mother's early death is a scar that my father and I can't tear apart, and now in broad daylight (日rì), this scar is torn open by Dugu Hao bloodily, and I instinctively defend him, like a hedgehog under attack, binding up the hard thorns of Hun (body shēn).

"Are you taking revenge on me for the silk handkerchief?" My face has turned cold.

Dugu Hao didn't show any emotion: "Qin Xi, you are too sensitive, I am not as fragile as you think." Why do you think I care so much about the silk handkerchief? ”

"My mother's death is destined to happen, and even without her death, there would be no day when I returned to the family, and my wealth and glory were exchanged for her life."

"You didn't say that." My voice is like a mosquito. I was self-righteous, and reminded Sister Ying to embroider the small portrait of Mrs. on the silk handkerchief to arouse his thoughts, it turned out to be a stab in his heart, no wonder he bullied me so gaffe that day, I think I deserve it.

"Her death is irretrievable, it is a foregone conclusion, I mention it again, annoyed my father, first, I will be snubbed by my father, my business has failed all these years, and secondly, my mother's death has become a vain sacrifice, meaningless. I am wise and honest and endure humiliation and burden, so that one day (日rì) will no longer be constrained by others, and I can seek justice for my mother in a dignified manner. ”

Compared with what he endured, I suffered much better, my mother died of dystocia when she gave birth to me, I have never experienced the feeling of mother's pain in my life, and my memory of my mother is basically zero. Dad couldn't bear my guilt and didn't blame me, but he spoiled me even more, and rarely mentioned my mother in front of me. He has had and lost, which is the cruelest thing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think it was like this." How have you ever noticed that the arrogant and proud Dugu Hao will also have his own pain and suffering? Because of Sister Ying's liking for him, I indirectly hurt him without knowing it, it's really stupid.

"Sometimes people don't see the whole truth with their eyes. You and I have both lost our mothers, and I just want to comfort you, you don't have to be so hostile to me. ”

It's obvious that I'm at fault. I can't help but think of the scene when I first saw Dugu Hao when I was a child, when he had just been picked up by Dugu Shibo for a year, and came to visit my father in Qinfu on a winter afternoon, probably with his wife, although he was immature, his appearance was already outstanding among the brothers of the family, and his (body shēn) was thin and even his father felt sorry for him. From that day on, my father instructed me to get along with Dugu Hao and support each other.

If it weren't for the fact that the two of us were matched intentionally or unintentionally, and I broke him to molest the servant girl in the Qin Mansion, we wouldn't be as tense as we are now.

This piece of mandala is his heart, and I should cherish it in my heart, otherwise it will be too uninteresting.

"Dugu Hao, thank you for everything you have done for me today. All kinds of things in the past (day) are written off, and I, Qin Xi, have made a promise, from this moment on, if you treat me sincerely, I will treat you sincerely. ”