Zhang Jiashi died, and died in childbirth.

  In this era, this is not a rare way to die, as the Fujin of the house, Zhang Jia's death actually did not set off much turmoil, compared to the son she gave birth to.

  When Zhang Jiashi died, it was also when her son was born, the size of a palm, like a kitten, crying weakly, as if he might leave with his mother at any time.

  It's not the first time Ji Yingxin has seen a child, whether it's Honghui or Da Gege, compared to the little guy in front of him, it's too much stronger, and even gives Ji Yingxin a feeling that the newborn Honghui, even if it's just an arm, can crush this little thing.

  However, it is such a small thing, when Ji Yingxin came out with him in his arms, I don't know how many people's attention it aroused, especially after learning that Zhang Jia's family died in childbirth, the few masters in the house, even if it was a Buddhist such as the Song family, had a glimmer of light in their eyes, and it was obvious that this child without a mother had become the focus of everyone's contention.

  As for Zhang Jia's family, does she matter?

  Ji Yingxin has never liked Zhang Jia's family, but whenever she remembers Zhang Jia's gaze at this child before she died, her heart is always heavy, especially when she desperately gave birth to a child and died, but almost no one was willing to give away the slightest look at her.

  Because she is a woman, a concubine, her greatest glory is to give birth to a son, which is also her only role, if one day she is remembered, then there will only be one reason, that is, the biological mother of this child.

  It's not the first day of Ji Yingxin in this era, in this era, how many injustices and how many drawbacks there are, she knows them all, especially as she once turned the rules into her own energy, for these classes, changes, it can be said that she has long been familiar with it, Ji Yingxin thought that she had already gotten used to it.

  However, it wasn't until Zhang Jia's death that Ji Yingxin realized that even though she had lived in this era for so many years, and even she had become a part of this era, she still felt that this era was so strange and so cold and piercing, that people couldn't help but chill from the bottom of their hearts.

  Ji Yingxin felt that she would never forget that day, when the four people of the Li family, the Song family, the Wu family, and the Wu Ya family, looked at the weak little brother in her arms, that kind of eyes full of calculations, I don't know why, Ji Yingxin remembered the "Diary of a Madman" that she had read.

  "I opened the history and checked, this history has no age, and the words 'benevolence, righteousness and morality' are written on every crooked page. I couldn't fall asleep, and I looked carefully for half the night, only to see the words in the cracks, and there were two words written all over the book that were 'cannibalism'! “

  In the past, Ji Yingxin had never felt like this, and it wasn't until that day that Ji Yingxin really felt the meaning of the so-called cannibalism.

  Ji Yingxin didn't remember how she passed that day, for the memory of that day, Ji Yingxin just reluctantly stayed at Zhang Jia's dystocia and died, and then hurriedly handed over the child to the Song family to raise, that's all. After that, Ji Yingxin returned to her main courtyard with an ugly face, sitting alone in the room, feeling that the cold tide was all around, swallowing and drowning her little by little, and everything around her seemed to suffocate her.

  "Master, what's wrong with you?" Hong Fern looked at Ji Yingxin with a worried face, since Zhang Jiashu Fujin's death, the master's mood has always been wrong, at the beginning, Hong Fern didn't take it to heart, after all, they are people who get along day and night, and there are few conflicts between each other, and now that he is dead, it is normal for Ji Yingxin to be a little abnormal.

  However, it's been a few days, Ji Yingxin is still like this, always sitting alone in a daze, and I don't know what I'm thinking, the whole person is losing weight at a speed that is visible to the naked eye, and Hong Yuan finally couldn't help but ask.

  "Ever since Zhang Jiashu Fujin went, you have been unable to give up, what the hell is going on? If you have something on your mind, it is better to tell the slave and maid, even if the slave and maid can't solve it for you, it is more comfortable to say it. Honghui said worriedly.

  "I'm fine." Ji Yingxin waved her hand and said, in fact, her current question is also simple to say, to put it bluntly, that is, three questions, who am I? Where am I from? Where are you going?

  These three questions, for ordinary people, are completely nonsense questions, but if they are placed in the category of philosophy, they are extremely difficult to answer, and now, Ji Yingxin is facing such a few questions.

  Ji Yingxin, who was born in science and knew nothing about literature, especially philosophy, could not have imagined that one day, she would fall into such a classic philosophical proposition, and Zhang Jiashi's death seemed to ring a bronze bell in her mind, which made her completely wake up.

  Here, it is not her era, nor is it the era she wants, everything here makes her unacceptable, unable to breathe, even if she does better than many people in this era, more like people in this era than them, but in her heart, she can never forget that science and technology are prosperous, a hundred flowers are blooming, people's democracy, and everyone can exist as an individual in a free society, not this era, bound by rules and classes.

  She wants to exist as Ji Yingxin, not someone's daughter, someone's wife, someone's mother, these identities can only be part of her, not replace her status as a separate person.

  Urgently, and for the first time, Ji Yingxin wants to do something, wants to be someone who can prove herself and exist as a separate individual, as if only in this way can she survive in this era.

  "Red Fern, do you have any wishes?" Suddenly, Ji Yingxin turned his head and looked at Hongyuan.

  Hongrui was suddenly stunned when she heard this, she didn't understand what Ji Yingxin was talking about.

  After hesitating for a moment, Hongrui looked at Ji Yingxin suspiciously, "Master, what's wrong with you?" Is there anything you want your slave to do? “

  "No, you answer me first, do you have any wishes?" Ji Yingxin said, his face was a little anxious.

  Seeing this, Hongrui became more and more confused, but she still said honestly: "The slave's greatest wish is to be able to serve the master and follow the master for the rest of her life." “

  "What about other than this? Nothing else? For example, what you want to do is either related to a certain person, or what you want and is not attached to anyone, isn't it? Ji Yingxin hurriedly asked.