Chapter Seventy-Three: It's Hard to Control Your Feelings
He couldn't understand why he used such vicious words to stimulate her, and didn't stop hurting her to the fullest, maybe because of her clear eyes, maybe because of her cold questioning, just one sentence knocked the relationship between him and her back to its original shape.
The shattered despair in her eyes, and the lonely back in the cold wind after suddenly turning around, have always haunted his heart.
It wasn't until a little cold wind calmed his anger that he realized what had been done to her, and he lost control of her face once more, her plain figure looking extremely thin and fading into the night.
Because he cared, her weakness was only Li Xuan, and he used Li Xuan to fight her, and it was easy to win.
But he didn't feel good.
Since Li Xuan set out on the expedition, her clothes have become wider and more haggard, her appearance is still outstanding, and she has lost her former freshness and charm between her eyebrows, and has become taciturn, and several times he has gone to the Hidden Moon Hall to see her standing in front of the window, a person has lost her soul and is lifeless.
In the past, he was very critical of her, thinking that she was noisy and rude, and rarely had a ladylike demeanor, but her silence made him more uncomfortable, like vines entangled in his heart, difficult to dissolve, and he lured Long Tuo to accompany her, hoping to soothe the sorrow between her eyebrows.
She is smarter than he thought, thoughtful, courageous, and obedient to Long Tuo in a few words, and when it comes to power, she is light and light-hearted, because she has lived willfully under the blessing of Qin Cheng since she was a child, and she doesn't have to fight for anything to survive. And he was born in the royal family, and when he saw the power of the extinction, he still experienced a bloody storm even though he succeeded to the throne in the name of the crown prince.
She was not angered by Long Tuo's provocation, she calmly pulled out the bow, her archery skills should have been taught by Qin Cheng personally, although she was a woman, her movements were not weak, revealing decisiveness and ruthlessness, and there was no delay at all, and Long Tuo was eager for quick success, in fact, the decline had already appeared.
In the breeze, he stood diligently, staring at her, and her face suddenly lost her closeness to Long Tuo, and turned into a natural alienation and just the right amount of coldness. He roughly figured out her character, and she did not hesitate to defend the people who treated her sincerely, and she did not hesitate to defend the people who made her feel cold, she didn't even bother to look at them, revealing a sense of indifference in her heart, it is not difficult to get along with her, but it is also the most difficult thing in the world, because she can't calculate in her heart.
No wonder Li Xuan didn't even have the courage to wait for her to wake up, so he led the army out early to escape from the battle. If it were him, I was afraid that it wouldn't be much better.
His father had more than a dozen children, and now there were only three of them left, and she brought him a lot of surprises, and he could even see a few traces of his father in her.
Thinking of Li Xuan's first arrival in Qinzhou, he traveled with her and mingled in the market, afraid that he had already seen her archery skills, and he suddenly felt a little inexplicable jealousy of Li Xuan.
In fact, he should hate her, his mother was snubbed by his father because of Mrs. Sumire, and his father even thought that it was the queen mother who poisoned Mrs. Sumire and died in childbirth, he witnessed the scene of his father angrily abandoning his mother, and he continued this hatred after his mother was depressed.
In addition to this, there is also the injustice of his father to him. Among the princes and princesses, Qin Xi is the one who is destined to be protected, and he is the one who is chosen to sacrifice. The balance in her father's heart was too tilted in her favor, and he almost had to give up the throne that he had worked so hard to keep.
He couldn't forget his father's repeated rebukes of him in the imperial study, and often rejected his claims in front of the courtiers, which embarrassed him; In the years when he was forced to travel between countries, she was still coquettish in Qin Cheng's arms, Qin Cheng never married and had no children under his knees, and really regarded him as his own. He sometimes envied her, his biological father treated him so coldly, but her adoptive father was devoted to her and hated to give her the best thing in the world.
If it weren't for his obscurity, and his father and emperor controlled the situation in the capital in one step, it is difficult to imagine who would have fallen into the hands of Daqi today. Maybe God took pity on him, and his father's illness was menacing, and he was glad that he had seized the opportunity.
When his father was dying, he was speechless, but he read the meaning of pleading in his eyes, the prince who served his father took his father's handwritten edict, and his father asked him to promise to protect Qin Xi in this life in order to inherit the throne, he spit out a "good" word, his heart was already cold, his mother lost to her mother, he lost to her, after all, she is the child that his father values the most.
So even if Li Xuan didn't open his mouth to beg him, he wouldn't kill Qin Xi. Jun has no jokes, he promised his father that he would definitely do it. He wanted his father to see in the spirit of heaven that Daqi was thriving under his rule, and he relied on strength, not the mandate of heaven.
He sometimes thinks that if their mother had never married the same man, if his father had known and cared more for him, if the person who went to Qinzhou was not Li Xuan but him, then the ending would have been different now, he would have named her the unique princess of Daqi according to his father's testament, and enjoy the glory second only to him, and he would continue his father's love and give her the best thing in the world.
Helplessly, he planned every move, intending to eradicate the power that his father had laid out in Qinzhou for many years, an inconspicuous Qinzhou was independent of the countries under the rule of Qin Cheng, and it had no position but became increasingly prosperous and strong, becoming a thorn in his heart that could not be pulled out, only if she lost her last support, it would not threaten him.
Like Li Xuan, he didn't expect that she would witness the tragic situation of Qin Cheng being killed, it was ridiculous to say, no one could understand the sadness in her heart at that moment better than him. His depressed queen mother sank to the bottom of the lake in the middle of a cold winter night, and before she died, she showed a sad smile to her son who stood on the shore, and she told her resentment against her father with her mournful eyes, and she carried this resentment on her son with death.
Killing Qin Cheng brought him unprecedented pleasure, as an emperor, he slowly realized the charm of power, the feeling of controlling the life and death of people in the world was indeed wonderful, he swept away the previous forbearance, and quickly captured several princes who committed rebellion.
His siblings, who were obsessed with lust and coveted the throne, joined forces to force the palace, and he let them know what it means to hit a stone with an egg. He beheaded three and exiled five, so that no one dared to look at the emperor's power. Then he married the daughter of the Shangguan family, and married Shangguan Ao, the prime minister of the two dynasties, and his throne became more and more stable.
Until Li Xuan returned to the capital and knelt in front of him to ask him for marriage, things were developing in the worst direction, out of control, he refused in anger, Li Xuan knelt outside the Longteng Palace in silence all night, the man had gold under his knees, how could Li Xuan who he knew be so haggard?
He asked Chen Fu, on the way back to Beijing, she tried to kill Li Xuan several times, but each time she was more vicious than the other, but she didn't get her wish. He thought she was weak and delicate, but at this moment it seemed that she had a clear temperament of love and hate.
He asked Li Xuan: "She has a deep hatred for you, even if you get her, you will inevitably end up in a dead end, have you ever thought about it?" ”
"Without her, I would be worse off than dead." The oath is still in the ear.
So he married the two in front of the civil and military officials, the talented woman is comparable to a pair of beautiful people, although the officials have never seen her, but they are full of praise for the future concubine of King Xuan, Li Xuan thanked him unhappily, and did not see the color of joy.
Later, she committed suicide by taking poison, and she would rather die than agree with this family business. When he heard the news when he reviewed the book, he was shocked and a little worried, with Li Xuan's arrogance, he must have been hit hard.
In those months, all the imperial doctors of the Tai Hospital listened to Li Xuan's dispatch, and one person was dissatisfied with his transgression of imperial power and flagrant disobedience, and three days later, the whole family of this person was wiped out, and no one remained. As the emperor, he turned a blind eye to this matter, and he suppressed all the twists and turns of impeaching King Xuan, and within three days the hundred officials knew his attitude, in their eyes, he sat on the throne, but in fact, he was constrained by the prime minister Shangguan Ao and King Xuan, and it was difficult to govern, so that he could gather the hearts of the courtiers who really submitted to the imperial power, and the three forces stood together, and it was not a bad thing for Yu Daqi.
Sure enough, no one dared not to do their best to treat her after that, plus a few secret medicines unique to the royal family, more than two years passed in the blink of an eye, and the toxicity in her body was suppressed very well. Although she is a little frail, she is no different from ordinary people.
And he treats her, in addition to resentment and difficulty, there are also some emotions that should not be there, since when did he start, he went in and out of the Hidden Moon Hall more and more frequently, almost every time he was upset, he wanted to go to her to walk around, and a few times in the face of the queen's side knocks, he was speechless.
He couldn't help but want to go to the Hidden Moon Hall to see her smile, even if he saw her in a daze, his heart could settle down. She is like a clear spring, water drops and stones, just four months of getting along, her laziness, her coldness, her indifference, bit by bit took root in his heart. By the time he sobered up, she had quietly taken him by surprise.
It was because he said those cruel and unwillful words to sting her and himself, how could he have thoughts about her that he shouldn't have? He is the king of a country, what kind of woman does he want, but the woman he is attracted to is his sister who is related by blood, how can he accept it?
He shouldn't be able to have feelings for her, let alone brother and sister, just because she is Xuan's wife, it is impossible for him and her to be.
That night, he went to Fengyi Palace, and he could see that Man'er came to greet him after carefully dressing up, and his queen had always been so decent, as gentle and courteous as when he first met, so that people could not find faults. Every night, whether he was lucky or not, she dressed up so carefully that she would take off her makeup when he rested in other palaces. She governed the harem in an orderly manner, and rarely annoyed him, so he should be satisfied with this queen.
If it weren't for her repeated plots, he wouldn't have had a dislike with the queen so quickly, he has been on the throne for a few years, the harem is not full, but young women are indispensable, why does he not have a prince and princess so far, I am afraid that he will not be able to get rid of the relationship with the queen, they are young couples, and he relies on Shangguan Ao's power to sit on the throne, he doesn't want to do it so desperately.
Aside from his promise that he would protect her thoroughly, the queen targeted King Xuan's wife like this, and her methods were secretive and unnoticeable, he had to be suspicious, he had seen Shangguan Ao's treachery, and naturally he couldn't underestimate his queen. Shangguan Ao may have seen through his alliance with Li Xuan, and even had a guess about her background, this old fox will not be able to stay sooner or later.