In the evening, I went back to my room, thinking back to what I had done during the day, and suddenly I realized a strange feeling rising in my heart, which seemed to have been accumulated for a long time during the day, and had been lurking all along, waiting for a complete explosion.

I knew I couldn't stop it from coming, or even the damage it might cause, so I locked the door and isolated myself from the world. Beyond the door is the ordinary human world; Inside the door is an enchantment that belongs only to me.

Come on, I'm ready! I yelled at myself.

Right now, it's coming!

It was a small dot hidden deep in my heart, as small as a grain of sand, but at this moment, in an instant, like a supernova explosion, it quickly spread to every corner of my body, conjuring up countless powerful and invisible claws, pressing me tightly against the wall.

The back of my head was pressed against the wall, and my arms were outstretched, like Jesus crucified.

The walls were cold, and the bone-chilling chill from the walls permeated the entire body. It was as if the whole person had been thrown into the glacier of Antarctica. His breathing became rapid, and he seemed to be full of oxygen, but he couldn't inhale enough, and every tuft of air he inhaled was also cold, racing through the Siberian wind, like a cold iron sword piercing his throat.

However, the surging source in my chest was blazing with fire, fierce as a volcanic eruption, blazing like magma, it devoured my internal organs, devoured the whole house in front of me, and devoured the whole world in which I lived.

With an iceberg on its back, it is on fire. All the pain, but still happy. In this hellish situation, I couldn't open my eyes and my mouth was never closed. I'm laughing, I'm laughing, it's a heartfelt laugh, it's a crazy laugh, it's a twisted laugh, it's a laugh that's completely out of control, it's a laugh that has been taken over by demons.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha- ha, ha, ha, ha, ha- what a wonderful feeling! - ha, ha, ha, ha- ha, ha- more violent! - Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha......"

Under the interweaving of ice and fire, the balance in my heart is constantly being distorted and eroded, accompanied by the colic of flesh and blood, and accompanied by the collapse of the spirit. The half that belonged to Yan Jinfeng was dissolving, melting, and becoming invisible; That half of the heart is being pulled, torn apart, torn to pieces; That half of the soul was struggling, wailing, howling through the heavens and the earth.

Drops of hot molten iron fell from the scales, reflecting scenes of the past: the first day I met Yan Jinfeng, I grabbed the photo I had with Yan Jinfeng before Xie Liang, the laughter and smile when I was at the same table with Yan Jinfeng, her shy smile when Zhang Hong exposed Yan Jinfeng, Yan Jinfeng and I were coincidentally kissed by the teacher, and the moment when we looked across the street in the bazaar...... All good memories will eventually disappear in the flames, and all sincere love will eventually be sealed under the cold ice.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha- did she dump me? No! I dumped her! ”

With the rapid dissolution of the end of Yan Jinfeng on the scale, the balance that had been maintained was completely broken, and this end of Lin Ximeng had already broken free from the shackles and fell suddenly from the hanging mid-air, like a meteorite piercing the clouds, and smashed heavily into my heart.

It was a Tarzan-like pain, rising up with a huge shock wave that violently shook my heart, and a deep trench was carved out of it, and it still continued to burrow deeper and deeper.

The pain caused tears to flow uncontrollably from my eyes, and my eyelids, which were already tightly closed, were half-opened. Through the tears, I couldn't see anything, only felt the white expanse, and the crystalline foam continued to form and burst.

However, these tears are warm, like the sun in winter, like the hot spring in the glacier, like the spring breeze blowing on the cheeks in the sunset that day. When it flows into the mouth, it is sweet, like the dew on the green leaves in the morning, like the rain in the desert after a long drought, and like the clear stream that flows endlessly in the mountain stream.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha......, ha

I don't understand how I feel, after the body doesn't belong to me, now I don't even belong to the spirit. And yet it feels so wonderful, so charming, that I can't resist it, I don't want to resist, I can only hug, enjoy, immerse myself, even if I want to drown in it all.

"Am I in love with her? No! Obviously she liked me first! ”

Lin Ximeng's weight continued to spin and burrow into my heart, raising a hurricane, raging in the sky, sweeping away every bit of strength and every trace of spirit that I had left. And the weight itself is getting bigger, heavier, and more unbearable.

The weight of the soil, the erosion of the wind. Gradually, my body could no longer support the weight of my heart, and I sat down against the wall like an iceberg, barely holding the ground with my hands. Gradually, my arms could no longer support me, and I fell to the floor like a puddle of mud. Twitching, rolling, laughing, crying. The floor is more penetrating and cold, but when the body is close to it, it is a different kind of comfort.

Until I couldn't laugh anymore, until I couldn't cry anymore, I was still lying on the floor, I hadn't laughed enough, I hadn't cried enough. I clutched my chest tightly, trying to dig out more emotions from my heart, let myself continue to indulge in the pleasure of the abuse just now, and let myself continue to indulge in the love I had just fallen into about Lin Ximeng.

The "heart" has "died in splendor", and the "love" has been "reborn in the ashes." "The fire just now, burned" the "grass marks", looking back, "look, it's another year of spring breeze." ”

This kind of feeling I never had when I first liked Yan Jinfeng. This feeling only arose when I started to like Lin Ximeng. Is this feeling the feeling of finding true love? Is this what it's like to be a true first love?

Lin Xi Meng, Lin Xi Meng, are you the girl who is destined to write an extraordinary chapter in my life?

When the storm finally subsided, I was lying on the ground with Lin Ximeng's lovely smile all over my head. Since I met Lin Ximeng, she has always maintained such a lovely smile, which seems to have become her trademark, and it is also the most impressive point for me. And at this moment, the smile in my mind was so clear.

I couldn't wait to pull out the pen and paper and draw the smiling face. The face sketched by the pencil is classical and beautiful, I have never found that Lin Ximeng is so charming, and I have never found that I can draw such a beautiful woman in addition to painting such a cat face!

That night, he had a sweet dream. In the dream, there is a sunset, a fragrant grass, a spring breeze, a me, and a dream of Linxi......

The next day, Zhang Hong sent Yan Jinfeng's classmates: almost all of them are written in English, there are no books I like to read, my favorite food is cappuccino, my favorite song is an English song, I dream of traveling around the world, my favorite stars are a group of football stars and foreign singers, my favorite sports include all the international events broadcast by CCTV Sports, my favorite color will change with my mood, and the name I leave is still only a simple YJF.

In the final message, Yan Jinfeng said:

"The fate of life is unpredictable, there is no fixed number when to get together and when to separate, whether it is gathering or dispersing, it will be regarded as a fate, and there will not be too many regrets."

As I read this sentence carefully, was she comforting me? Is she rejecting me and convincing me to let go of everything about her?

I couldn't help but shake my head and smile: "That's fine, just let her think that she dumped me." But she was worried that I would be reluctant, worried that I would have too many regrets. Hehe, I don't have any regrets! We owe no one now! ”

Lin Ximeng also sent her classmates who had written: I love to read "Reader", I like to eat potatoes and cucumbers, I like to listen to mountains and flowing water, I don't have a definite dream, I don't have a favorite star, my favorite sport is running, and I wrote "blue" with a blue ballpoint pen in my favorite color, which is the color of my bicycle, which can't help but make me a little excited.

In the final message, Lin Ximeng said:

"Smile is self-confidence, persistence is will, please cherish them, they will create a better future for you!"

I smiled happily: "So this is the source of Lin Ximeng's smile all the time?" With a confident smile and a will to persevere, haha, I took it! ”

I clipped Lin Ximeng's letter paper into the most precious position in the entire class directory, like an antique that has been protected by layers.

At night, I took out the classmate list written by Lin Ximeng again and enjoyed it over and over again. The delicate handwriting, the elegant aspirations, and the simple message, every point is written in my heart, and it is the most beautiful thing I yearn for in my heart.

"If you get this feeling, you have no regrets in life!"

That night, he had another sweet dream. In the dream, there is still Lin Xi's dream...... The third night was also true. There is also a fourth and fifth day、...... Day 14 and Day 15、......

I have never dreamed of a person for so long, is this the will of God? She's the one I was meant to be? In the middle of nowhere, when I found her, did I resonate with her? If that's the case, when I dream of her, will she dream of me too? Can we really break the barrier of space and meet each other in this sleep?

In any case, it feels great to be able to dream of her. I wish I could always see her in my dreams like this, how happy.

I wish I could be happy like this forever.

This may be the so-called true love.