The loss continues to haunt my heart, that new guy is not as handsome as me, not as lively as me, not as good as my grades, not as long as I have known Yan Jinfeng, why can he actually harvest Yan Jinfeng's heart!

As early as the moment I liked Yan Jinfeng, I set a goal for myself to become the best student in the class, the proudest student in the eyes of my teachers, and the most admired role model in the eyes of my classmates. Since then, Yan Jinfeng has become the driving force that inspires me to move forward, and no matter how bumpy the future is, I will move forward resolutely.

Constantly improve their learning ability, whether it is the results are always among the best, whether it is winning a silver medal in the chess competition, with a solid mathematical foundation has always been the qualification for exemption from the final mathematics exam every semester, whether it is becoming a member of the school's Olympiad training team, whether it is winning the provincial first prize in the primary school student programming competition, or being selected as a good student in the city...... Along the way, I have always had a firm belief that I am studying for Yan Jinfeng!

But now, she can't even see how good I am! Instead, I've been cuddling with that new ugly monster! How can people swallow this breath!

It's Christmas again, and once again I have carefully selected a greeting card. This time, I took the initiative to come to Yan Jinfeng's desk and pressed the greeting card on her desk with my own hands. Despite the intense resentment in my heart, I smiled and said to her, "Merry Christmas!" ”

When she saw that it was me, she was stunned for a moment, and then accepted with a smile: "Thank you." ”

She smiled easily, like facing an ordinary classmate, without any waves in her heart. So I don't matter to her at all, do I? When she sees me, she sees the air, right? Am I worthless?

I stumbled back into my seat and looked at her again, and she clearly didn't look at me. If she still at least considers me a friend, even if it is really just an ordinary classmate, then I will receive a greeting card; If she has a grudge against me or even hates me, then my greeting card will be lost.

As a result, what worries me the most has happened. Yan Jinfeng's indifference is like a cold current drifting from Siberia, which makes me feel that this winter is even colder than before; On the other hand, the enthusiasm that Yan Jinfeng and You Fu staged every day was like a raging fire in hell, burning my fragile heart.

In the second semester, several trainee teachers came to our school, and one of the Chinese teachers was assigned to our class. The teacher who had just walked out of the campus was a little nervous and shy in the face of such a real class. The students couldn't help but get nervous in the face of such a strange and reserved face. I could tell she wanted to ask the students to answer the questions, but the students were reluctant to raise their hands. In desperation, the intern teacher had to follow the list:

"Yan Jinfeng!"

Yan Jinfeng didn't expect the teacher to click on her, so she slowly stood up.

"Could you please answer the meaning of this passage?"

Yan Jinfeng picked up the textbook and looked at it blankly, without squeezing out a word for a few minutes.

The trainee teacher sighed and looked at the list again:

"Cat Xiaoer!"

I was glad it wasn't me, and this sound really blinded me. I also stood up slowly, looked at the teacher, and also looked at Yan Jinfeng, I didn't know whether to feel unlucky or lucky. Let's say it's unfortunate, it's really unfortunate to be named by the teacher to answer the question; Let's say lucky, I was called by the teacher at the same time as Yan Jinfeng again, isn't it another proof of the intertwining of my fate and her? It's just that Yan Jinfeng glanced at me expressionlessly, and the teacher was waiting for me to answer the question.

The questions were not difficult, I quickly gave the correct answers, and the teacher was satisfied.

Yan Jinfeng still stood there stupidly, still without any expression on her face, I was already used to her appearance. It's just that if it was put in the past, when Yan Jinfeng and I stood out so much in front of everyone, the whole classroom would definitely be a sensation, just like that singing ticket.

However, on this day, there was no such enthusiastic commotion in the four places, as if there was no longer any relationship between me and Yan Jinfeng in the hearts of my classmates, as if I had really become the second Xie Liang and was eliminated in the long river of history.

"Thank you for your answer, alright, please sit down." The teacher smiled politely.

I watched Yan Jinfeng sit down synchronously.

My answer was approved by the teacher, but I was not happy in the shredd.

In a few months, I have indeed felt the change of the weather vane in the whole class, and those who used to fight for me have gradually stopped paying attention to my loss, and turned to cheer for Yan Jinfeng and You Fu.

Every time Yan Jinfeng and You Fu were in front of everyone, the entire classroom was boiling.

I remember the supreme glory I felt at that time, but unfortunately it is no longer from me. When I stepped down from the altar, I was like a ragged tramp, and no one looked at me again. I keep working hard to improve myself, just so that Yan Jinfeng can smile for me. But in the end, instead of regaining Yan Jinfeng's attention, I was thrown by her like garbage on the muddy roadside.

Resentment grows in the darkness, like a little bit of gas accumulating in the depths of the mine, invisible or touchable, but waiting for a terrible outbreak all the time.

One afternoon on the weekend, I was alone at home doing my homework. From time to time, there is a noisy cat meow in the yard, which makes people uneasy.

"The weather is so good, why don't you come out and play." A big cat came up to my window.

"Go away, I'm in a bad mood." I said in cat language.

"Are you out of love, hehe!"

"How do you possibly know?"

"Hey—the human world is so complicated, why do you want to be a human being? How nice it is to be a cat with peace of mind. ”

"You don't understand!"

"It's that you don't understand! Human emotions, especially those of girls! ”

"What did you say!" I threw down the pen in my hand, opened the door and rushed out.

Looking back at the windowsill, there was nothing. Only in the yard, a few cats curled up sporadically, lazily basking in the sun. I didn't see the cat I was talking to.

In a fit of rage, I picked up the bamboo fork by the wall, rushed to the middle of the yard, and slammed it into a stone in the grass, making a sound of the bamboo pole breaking.

The end of the bamboo pole had actually cracked a long time ago, and it was the same one I used to practice stick skills before, and kept hitting the ground to crack it. And just now, at the moment when the cracked bamboo piece collided with the stone, it let out a painful **, like a firecracker bursting in the air, and the cracks that exploded grew again.

The sound of the explosion startled the wild cats napping in the yard, and they stared at me in horror.

"Who was it just now? Stand out! I meowed angrily.

I saw a cat that looked very similar to the one I just saw: "Is that you?" ”

I grabbed my fork and lunged at it. In this moment, the cats fled in a deserted group, some climbed over the wall, some climbed onto the roof, and some got into the wooden door of the broken house, only the cat I had targeted, with all fours facing the sky, was pressed to the ground by my neck with a fork of my coat, screaming and struggling.

"Mao Xiaoer, what are you doing!" A familiar voice appeared in my ears. When I looked up, it was Shen Yun who came.

"You're abusing small animals!" Shen Yun looked at me in surprise.

"No, I just made it unable to move for the time being, it didn't hurt." I said with a blank face, then removed my shirt and fork, turned and walked towards my house, "What are you doing here?" ”

"My parents are not at home, and I am too bored to be alone at home, and I don't want to do my homework, so I want to come and play with you."

"I'm sorry, I want to do my homework."

"It's okay, you write yours, I can watch TV by myself."

I didn't say anything more and silently allowed her into my house.

So, I was still hunched down at my desk writing my homework, while Shen Yun sat on the edge of the bed facing the TV and watched the TV series quietly. It's a familiar sight for us, and it's been the same weekend as it has been in the past.

The affectionate words of the hero and heroine came from the TV, presumably Shen Yun was watching her favorite romance drama.

However, what kept playing in my mind was the picture of Yan Jinfeng and You Fu lingering together, as if they were showing affection next to me, which was the most insulting teasing for me, and I couldn't do anything about it.

Why was You Fu able to capture Yan Jinfeng's heart so easily in a few months, and I have worked hard for so many years, but there is only such a Shen Yun by my side who wants to get rid of it but can't get rid of it?

The more I thought about it, the more I didn't understand, the more I thought about it, the more angry I became, the anger rose from my heart, and continued to hit my head along the veins, everything in the TV sounded like a loud burst when a rocket was launched, and it was more like a stinging sound when I used a microphone to point at a speaker, which made people mad and wanted to hit everything around me three feet into the ground.

Suddenly, I dropped the pen in my hand, turned around and pounced directly on Shen Yun, and the huge impact threw her on the bed.

Then, that's what I've seen on TV, the mouths of the hero and heroine touch together, one person's head is upright, and the other's head is tilted.

Shen Yun didn't have any resistance, she cooperated with me, she was the one with her head straight, and I was the one with her head tilted.

At that moment, my mind went blank, and I only felt the lubrication like jelly, the temperature of another person, and it was like touching a slimy octopus, but I didn't feel sick.

Breathing rapidly, we hugged each other tighter and tighter, tumbling from one end of the bed to the other, and back to the other. In the whirlwind of the sky and the time and space, the consciousness of the whole body is gradually disappearing, and the whole universe seems to be only two pairs of soft lips that are squirming and wriggling.

No! What the hell am I doing! It's not me!

I suddenly opened my eyes, straightened up, frowned, and froze, as if I had been struck by lightning, and like a machine that was stuck in an instant, my eyes widened like a light bulb about to burst, and my breath stopped instantly.

Tell me everything that just passed isn't true! But it seems to be true! My hands are holding Shen Yun! It was an illusory but real dream, and the dream was filled with no sweetness and beauty, but an unforgettable horror and evil.

Shen Yun slowly opened his eyes, it was a look I had never seen before, exuding a light that could burn everything.

The corners of her mouth burst into a wild laugh, a hideous look I had never faced before, like it could consume me in an instant.

Her arms were still around my waist, as if full of transcendent power, and they wrapped around my body like cannibalistic vines, preventing me from moving, and in a few moments she pulled me back and brought me back to her mouth.

She was desperate to fiddle, bite, and possess my lips like a demon.

And I struggled desperately, like a live fish trapped on the shore, breaking free again and again, only to be pulled back again and again. Even though her mouth had slipped far away from mouth to mouth and twisted severely, I could still feel that she was not slacking off or tired.

I tried to calm her down, but I couldn't even say a word. It was an uncomfortable feeling, as if the body no longer belonged to me, as if I could no longer breathe a breath of air. If it goes on like this, I'm really going to suffocate. No way! It can't go on like this! I don't want to be oppressed by Shen Yun anymore!

I used all my strength to push hard, and finally freed myself from Shen Yun's arms. I felt myself gasping for air, but it felt much better to finally be able to breathe air.

Shen Yun lay down on the bed, still smiling, as if she had lost her mind. That smile, yes, I finally remembered it, it was exactly the same as the indulgent smile when Yan Jinfeng rode on You Fu's back! As for the laughter, it was sharp and piercing, resounding through the heavens and the earth, lingering endlessly, making the whole room reverberate with the breath of the devil.

The dark aura still hadn't dissipated, and Shen Yun stretched out her arms again, trying to pull me back. This time, all the cells in my body exploded together, and I directly flicked her arm away, glared at her and yelled:

"Isn't it amazing to have physical contact! - Can physical contact drive you crazy? - Can physical contact make you lose yourself? - Can physical contact make you forget the whole world? ”

The roar seemed to have accumulated all the resentment in the world for five thousand years, and the entire universe fell apart under its powerful penetrating power, and everything in time and space froze in an instant, and fell silent. And at last I heard myself panting, like a bitter north wind howling over the mountains.

The devil finally put away its madness, and the burning gaze that filled Shen Yun's eyes gradually dimmed, like a robot with a power outage. She gazed at me affectionately, sad with trepidation, resentful with longing. She propped one hand on the bed, the other hanging on my thigh, fingers tapping between her fingers, as if to say something.

I silently brushed away Shen Yun's hand on my thigh, slowly got up and left the bed, quietly walked to the desk and sat down, picked up the pen, lowered my head and continued to write my homework.

But at the moment, I am in no mood to do my homework. It was as if thousands of steel needles were stabbing in my heart, and the sharp pain made the world in front of me hazy.

A few drops of water fell on the workbook, blurring the handwriting.

I heard Shen Yun still sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, but there were a few sighs from time to time. Then she moved out of the bed and walked out of my house without saying a word, never to step in again.