A few days later, he was discharged from the hospital.

On this day, in her not too big attic that exuded a strong smell of fragrant powder, Xue Shanghua drank too much, and asked him bluntly through the wine: "Do you look down on me?" ”

"Nope!"

"Why are you always lukewarm to me? I know you look down on me! ”

"How could it be! You saved my life, and it's too late for me to be grateful! ”

"You shouldn't come to this place! You shouldn't have come here to find me! ”

Zhao Xiaoshuang glanced around, and on a mahogany Eight Immortals table by the door, a foreign lamp with a glass lamp emitted a dim light. On the wooden bed stacked with mandarin duck brocade quilts, a tent was hung high. Some carmine powder was placed haphazardly on a small table beside it.

"What's wrong with this place?" Zhao Xiaoshuang sat on the chair, "Isn't this place very good!" ”

Xue Shanghua couldn't help but chuckle, "Okay, since you're here, I'll let you see something!" ”

The moment Xue Shanghua quietly opened the drawer of the wooden table, Zhao Xiaoshuang was really shocked!

A pistol!

"How do you have this? Where did you get it? ”

Xue Shanghua looked up drunken and hazy, twisted her body, and said proudly: "With this, no one dares to bully me!" I'm amazing! Say where it came from! You don't need to ask! Of course they gave it to me! ”

"Who?"

"Don't ask! You think, the average person wouldn't have this! ”

Xue Shanghua really drank too much this time, and there was a smell of alcohol in the air.

She turned around, pointed at the tip of Xiaoshuang's nose with her fingertips, and said with a light smile: "I knew that I couldn't do without you, and you couldn't do without me." You know what, I've noticed you for a long time. Why do I run to the tailor's shop again and again to get dressed? Do you think I'm really going to do clothes? There are so many tailor shops in the city, why do I run to Zhao Sanjian's tailor shop again and again? No matter how good Zhao Sanjian's craftsmanship is, I can also change my style! ”

"Because.." Xiaoshuang didn't say anything

She filled him and herself with another glass of wine, and drank her own glass in one gulp.

"Are you taking me for a joke? A woman in the dust is still dreaming of having the love of a perfect man? ”

Zhao Xiaoshuang did not speak.

Xue Shanghua smiled bitterly, got up and pushed open the window, and the sky outside the window was full of dark clouds, thick in the east and light in the west.

She put her hands in her pockets, held her head high, and stood in front of the window for a while, the cold wind was blowing, she seemed to be much more sober, and turned around, her eyes were a little moist.

"Zhao Xiaoshuang!"

"Huh?"

"Will you fall in love with me?"

Her voice was very soft, like a breeze outside the window, and Xiaoshuang still caught it.

"More than a little, if I don't like you, how can I want to be friends with you?"

"I'm asking you love, will you fall in love with me?"

She poured herself another glass of wine and lifted her full glass.

"What's wrong? Such a serious look, it doesn't look like you! Zhao Xiaoshuang said.

She took a sip, raised her head and was about to drink it, but was snatched down by Zhao Xiaoshuang.

"Don't drink it! You're all drunk! ”

"I'm not drunk! I'll ask you another question! Don't run away! You, will you fall in love with me? ”

"You are beautiful and generous, and you have a manly chivalrous character, and everyone who has been with you will like you!"

"Just like? What I'm asking is will you fall in love with me? ”

Zhao Xiaoshuang seemed to remember something, and he was gloomy for a while.

Xue Shanghua turned around, and a gust of wind blocked her breathlessly.

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She turned her face away, held the pale yellow curtain tightly with both hands, and whispered: "Look, my mouth is still very poisonous, and I always ask the key point!" When it comes to the key, you choose to be silent, it seems that I am not wrong, and you are only willing to be friends with me? So, I'm self-inflicted, you don't love me, not at all! ”

"No, no! Seriously... But I..." Xiaoshuang felt a little embarrassed, he didn't know what to say, just frowned, coughed tiredly, and said, "Everyone is very happy together, isn't it good?" But you have to teach needles! ”

"Is my existence just to amuse you?"

"It's not like this, it's not like this."

Xiaoshuang walked over to her side.

He didn't know how to speak to this woman who had been kind to him.

She is in love with him, he has long been sensitive to it, although she is surrounded by a group of ruffians, but she still insists on her character, and is very measured, she is warm and kind, and she is not a slutty woman in her bones.

"Xiaoshuang, do you love me a little? Even if... Just a little? ”

She looked at Zhao Xiaoshuang with a stiff face, one hand on the window frame, and her tone revealed a fear and pleading, She quickly realized her gaffe, and pinned her face out of the window.

He took her hand with both hands, and her hand was extremely cold and soft.

He lowered his head and tried to put his face on her neck, but for some reason, he just rubbed her cheek lightly and fell back. This gesture was like a greeting from the Middle Eastern, and he finally took his hand back and leaned on the other side of the window frame.

"Am I just annoying you?"

Xue Shanghua's expression was stunned, "You can't even pretend to love me, so you retract your hand in such a hurry!" I see, you don't have a place for me in your heart. ”

"No! I've just always thought of you as a sister in my heart! ”

Xue Shanghua smiled bitterly, shook his head and said, "Do you think I'm a fool?" If you loved me, you wouldn't say that! Love is love, not love is not love! Who am I? Xue Shanghua! A woman wandering in the dust, do you think I don't understand? I'm not stupid! ”

"No, you're wrong! You're a good girl! ”

"You are close to me on the surface, but you have been avoiding me in your bones!"

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't want you to do anything! I'm not that self-conscious! ”

"However, you are really the role of a sister in my heart, capable, intelligent, empathetic, kind.."

"Gotcha, gotcha! I'm not a god-like being, I just want to find someone who cares about me, not someone who can bully me at will, and I know it's too hard. I also hope that like an ordinary woman, I can be a lover, be his wife, give him children, and live a normal life. Alas! What a pity! My own life is miserable! ...”

Xue Shanghua shook the shawl on his body, the dazzling cheongsam was cut very small, almost framed on the body, and the plump chest rose and fell inside, looming, giving people a reverie. Zhao Xiaoshuang held his breath and moved his gaze to it, looking at her eyes that were not very big, flashing under the thick eyelashes, and the soul-stirring charm was enough to strangle any lustful and amorous man.

The two of them were relatively speechless for a long time, the smell of wine mixed with incense powder filled the air, and Zhao Xiaoshuang felt that all this was a bit illusory and unreal.

Zhao Xiaoshuang tried to restrain himself and shifted his gaze to the osmanthus tree outside.

"What's so good about me? Even I almost look down on myself! There is no money, and there is no power. If you don't save me that day, I'll be a pile of dead meat, rotten, stinky and no one cares about it

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Heap. ”

"Huh!"

Xue Shanghua smiled and wrapped herself tightly again, and the shawl was tightly wrapped around her graceful body again.

He just stood quietly.

It was a little cold in the room, "I'll go pour you a cup of hot water!" Zhao Xiaoshuang said.

"No need! My heart is cold to the bone, and a cup of hot water can be used for a fart! What am I, although I don't have to be full of pearls and emeralds, but I am a woman in the dust after all, it is not difficult for you, you go! In this kind of place, it is not good for you to be seen! I want to be quiet for a while, too! ”

"Sister!"

"You go!"

"Sister, I mean."

"You don't have to explain anything, you go! Walk! ”

Xiaoshuang didn't say anything more, he was silent for a while, opened the door and left.

Xue Shanghua threw herself on her bed, lying face down.

She turned her face sideways, letting the tears flow straight down, while dripping tears, she wanted to laugh, laughing at her infatuation and Zhao Xiaoshuang's numbness, the corners of her mouth twitched unconsciously, and she sat up.

She took out a pen and paper from the drawer, and wrote scribbling on the paper with the pen:

Damn bastards!

Why doesn't he love me?

Don't love, don't love, what to do, what to do!

Damn bastards!

He doesn't love me ...

Coming back from Xue Shanghua, Zhao Xiaoshuang was stunned in his temporary cabin for a long time, he didn't expect Xue Shanghua to really fall in love with him, although he had always felt this way, but when Xue Shanghua picked out the words, Zhao Xiaoshuang was really at a loss.

For this woman, in addition to being grateful, he is still grateful.

At the moment of his life and death, she saved her life, and the doctor said that if it was a few minutes late, he would be dead! In other words, his rest of his life was given by this woman, and because of this, he should do whatever she asks him to do. All kinds of cynicism, all kinds of difficulties, he experienced the hardships and difficulties of being out alone, only she repeatedly gave him warmth, she worked hard to gain his favor, and even tempted him, he really felt it.

But can this gratitude be called love?

The debt he owes to her is likely to be difficult for him to repay for the rest of his life.

Because, he can't deceive her.

He doesn't want to deceive himself either!

He also often thinks that if he is really with such a woman, is it okay?

Life is a dream, sooner or later he is going to die, just like the scene when he was stabbed at the train station that day, maybe tomorrow, maybe...,

She tried her best to think, but he always refused, how impersonal this was! How selfish and impersonal he is!

Is it just because of the persistent love in his heart?

Yes!

That love!

Liu Peizhu, how is she?

He had always reserved a place for her in the back of his heart.

Does she miss him as much as he does?

Or has he been forgotten?

It's just that he can't go to her yet, he remembers Liu Yunsheng's mocking expression and vicious language.

He sighed softly and looked around, this simple furnishings, not too big hut was even the place where Xue Shanghua helped him find a place to live, he didn't even have a decent nest, he put on the best plaid shirt for himself, stood in front of the mirror, and wanted to give himself a new feeling of being decadent and lost home, and suddenly found that even this shirt was given by Xue Shanghua, and he didn't feel a little embarrassed.

He decisively took it off and put it back on.

Zhao Xiaoshuang's heart was very confused.

(End of chapter)