Yi Lan shook her head vigorously, trying to shake out all the thoughts that were rushing through her head.

Coco always scolded Yilan for being stupid, saying that if her heart wasn't strong enough, she would have cried stupidly by herself and committed suicide a hundred times. In fact, it's not that Yi Lan's heart is strong, but that as long as she is overly emotionally stressed, her brain will mess up and think about some inconsequential things, distracting her from the present.

However, at this moment, Yi Lan didn't want to think about any trivial things, even if it would make her miserable, she was willing to accept it completely, and deeply let herself be in pain. But the thoughts in her head were so chaotic that she didn't know how she got home, how she turned on the computer, and how she found the news back then.

"Aiko died in a car, and the general couldn't afford to get sick"

"The general's only son drove on a rainy night, thousands of miles away to propose to his true love, and died in a car accident on the way. The general lost his beloved son and couldn't afford to ,...... sick"

There is also a photo of Mu Jiangrong on the webpage, with handsome facial features, slightly raised corners of the mouth, and arrogance that cannot be concealed between the eyebrows. He is the only son in the family, not only is the general extremely important, his mother loves him, and his four sisters are also very favored. Although Mu Jiangrong no longer had the domineering of his childhood when he was in college, the arrogance and innate sense of superiority are deep in his bones.

Yi Lan stared at Mu Jiangrong's photo, trying not to be distracted, she had to concentrate all her energy and wait for the pain to come. "I want to propose to my true love," Mu Jiangrong was in love, but he didn't know it.

Who is that girl? Since it is "not far away", it must not be their school. But why did Mu Jiangrong never mention it to her? I think they are just a little more intimate than other classmates, why did he deliberately tell her?

Proposing to her true love, and dying in a car accident, these two pieces of information hit Yi Lan at the same time, and she didn't know which one she should hurt first.

Looking at the photos for a while, and then watching the news for a while, Yi Lan sat from the beginning of the lanterns until the sun rose, and then sat until noon, when the sparse sound of firecrackers began to sound. The parents were busy in the kitchen, thinking that Yi Lan was still lazy and lazy, and told her brother's daughter not to go in and disturb her.

Iran just sat there, staring at the computer, waiting intently for the moment of pain to come. But her mind was empty, her heart was wooden, and she waited until Lele's "aunt" and "Dudu" stupidly ran to call her, and Yi Lan didn't wait for the pain to come. So she happily held Lele's hand and happily ate Chinese New Year's Eve dinner with her family.

The wooden staircase back then, whether Mu Jiangrong took her up at that time or not, was always vague in Yi Lan's memory. Yi Lan has dreamed of Mu Jiangrong too many times, and some of the dreams and reality have already overlapped. Before he had time to get close to Mu Jiangrong's life, why did he leave his life forever?

After the year, her work was extremely busy, which made Iran very happy, and she was enthusiastic about doing research every day, which made her feel that she was a very useful person. Yi Lan bought a pen, ink, paper, and inkstone, and after getting off work, she made a pot of tea, sat at the desk, and carefully studied the ink first. She doesn't like to use ink, and feels that the process of grinding ink is also grinding her own delicate and dense mind, and she can just take her heart back from the impetuous world outside in the process of grinding ink.

After all, what she writes is not words, but a sustenance. Although her mother said that she was about to turn 30 years old, and she had not practiced calligraphy since she was a child, no matter how much she practiced, it was impossible to practice calligraphy well. But Iran thinks that people have to have some love to live. Life is precious and cannot be wasted, but it is many seemingly useless things that make our lives more fulfilling.

Yi Lan felt more and more that it was good to be able to sit quietly at the desk and copy the scriptures, which made her heart calm and comfortable, because her heart was free from obstacles, and there was no fear. This kind of heart makes her happy, and if there are fewer obstacles in life, it will be even happier. There are no emotional bonds, no need to worry about who and whom, no need to miss who and whom, and no need to deal with who and whom, such a life makes Yi Lan feel great.

The old-fashioned story of the prince and Cinderella only belongs to a fairy tale, and after all, it only belongs to a dream that only Yi Lan herself knows. "I've been waiting for you." Mu Jiangrong would still appear in Yi Lan's dreams from time to time, standing at the corner of the school waiting for her, smiling slightly and saying the same thing to her. But in Yi Lan's life, Mu Jiangrong became an eternal end.

In Coco's words, it was Yi Lan's fool who had her own blessings, her incomparably long brain circuits, and low negative EQ protected her, so that she didn't really feel the heartache of losing Mu Jiangrong until three years later. In the three years before that, whether it hurt or not, and how much it hurt, probably only Yi Lan herself knew.