There has always been such a saying: "I regret being a soldier for a while, and I regret not being a soldier for a lifetime." ”

Those who have really served as soldiers have a deeper understanding of this sentence. Because everyone is an individual, with different growth circumstances and life experiences.

When these different individuals are placed in the same environment and have the same training and exercises, there must be differences in the feelings and experiences, changes and influences of each individual.

Although everyone's emotions will be restrained by different degrees of rationality, but when it comes to the day of demobilization and departure, that feeling is really not something that can be clearly expressed in just a few words.

When words become pale and weak, a thousand words will condense together, surging in the heart, then in the brain, then bursting the embankment, and finally pouring out of the eye socket, out of control.

My name is Zang Zhijie, I live in Zangjia Village on the outskirts of Bobin City, because there is a scenic spot around the village, so our village has not been included in the scope of rural transformation, in order to ensure the original taste of the monuments, the whole village has been renovated and repaired, neat courtyards, picturesque scenery.

In this era of high-rise buildings, this village is like a paradise, and I have lived in this paradise for 18 years.

My dad told me more than once that he paid someone to give me my name, and every time I got into trouble, he would beat me up, gritting his teeth and angrily saying that the money for the name was wasted.

Maybe it's because at that time, I never set up, or even casually mentioned any lofty ambitions, but there were countless "masterpieces".

Pity my parents all over the world, although my report card hit new record lows again and again, my father did not completely give up on me, and just turned eighteen years old, he took me to the recruiting office of our local armed forces.

On the way to the recruiting office, I showed extreme reluctance, and seeing my reaction, my dad began to "reassure" me:

"Don't be reluctant, many people can't go if they want to, let's go back, do people want you to talk back."

I admit that this sentence really relieved me at that time, who expected that the world is impermanent, and years of honing in making masterpieces and bearing consequences actually allowed me to successfully pass the conscription physical examination.

I received a notice of enlistment in a fog, and my dad was happily busy preparing my luggage. During the days of waiting for enlistment, my father's eyes changed when he looked at me, and he kept patting me on the shoulder after drinking some wine, and said repeatedly:

"This kid is really angry with Lao Tzu, and the money for this name is really not spent in vain."

It didn't take long for me to be delivered to the station wearing a big red flower.

When it was time to get on the train, I suddenly felt sad and unconsciously squeezed out two tears of reluctance, and waved goodbye to the family members who saw me off on the platform.

In the crowd of family members who saw me off, my father did not give me a warm response, but talked and laughed with the second uncle next to him, and his face was full of smiles.

That kind of smile, if I'm not mistaken, when I was thirteen years old, the father of the second donkey in the village won a farm car in the temple fair, and when he drove home, it was that kind of smile.

I felt a sense of loss in my heart, turned my head and closed the window, feeling inexplicably aggrieved.

Almost all the family members who sent off the recruits on the platform were reluctant, and some family members cried with red eyes, my dad was good, just like winning the lottery.

I silently muttered in my heart:

"The notice says two years of military service, and I'll be back in two years ..."

The fence outside the window began to move slowly backwards, and the train started.

I looked around at the other recruits in the carriage, almost all of them in the same state, their faces glowing, their eyes flushed with the red flowers on their chests.

I quickly wiped my face, wet, and then I thought that I was probably in such an embarrassment, thinking of this, I quickly lowered my head and rubbed my eyes, patted my mouth and yawned, closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.

There are some things that you have not experienced yourself, but you just listen to other people's descriptions, and it is easy to be brought into the describer's own concept, and only when you have really experienced it can you understand the taste.

The village chief's son, who was six years older than me, had been a soldier for two years before returning home, and when I was young, I liked to surround him with a group of peers and listen to him talk about life in the barracks.

For example, how hard and tiring it is to be a soldier, how difficult it is to hit the steering wheel of a tank, and how hard it is to refuel an airplane, I looked at his beer belly at that time, and I couldn't believe how a cook can still drive a tank and a plane every day.

It wasn't until I entered the barracks that I completely understood that ninety percent of the words he said were water, and the remaining one percent should be the truth that I couldn't make up tricks and casually.

Thinking about it now, from the moment I first boarded the enlistment train, none of the subsequent events were anything I could have predicted.

When I'm at home, I like to run around and mess around. When I arrived at all the unfamiliar troops, I felt everything unfamiliar around me, and after trying to adapt to it, I was like a fish in water.

I trained in the infantry battalion for one year, and in the second year, because of my outstanding achievements, I was transferred to the seed barracks of special forces for key training, and I liked the life of the army more and more, and continued for three full periods.

In the third issue, the Northwest Special Forces' excellent sharp knife team, the Sky Wolf Commando, branched out, and a new sub-unit, the Falcon Commando, was established, and I was honored to be the captain.

This soldier has been in office for twelve years.

I remember that every time I came home, my dad would get drunk, and if he drank too much, he would babble and praise me, saying that my mom was proud of me in the spirit of heaven, but I could always clearly see that my dad began to have gray hair.

As I grew up year by year, his gray hair became more and more year by year, and the only thing that has not changed is the sentence:

"My son has a good income, and this money is not spent in vain."

Oh yes, there is another one, which my second uncle told me, from the day I joined the army, my dad carried a stool first thing every morning and wiped the door number of the glorious house on the gate, rain or shine.

It was my twelfth year in the army and my fourth year as a Falcon Commando Captain, and someone from the communication room said there was my phone number.

I don't have a hobby of playing mobile games, and I don't need any mobile phones to be a soldier.

For so many years, I have been going to the communication room to call home to say hello, and my dad has never made a single call, in his words:

"My son is in the army, what can I do?"

This sudden call to me made me chuckle and hurried to the communication room.

The phone call came from the second uncle, and he anxiously said that my father was critically ill and lived in the city hospital, and asked me to go back quickly.

I explained the situation to the leaders of the troops, who granted me a special leave to go home and sent me to the airport.

When I got off the plane, the airport was still more than 200 kilometers away from home, so I directly found a taxi, and I was restless all the way, repeatedly urging the taxi to hurry up. I kept muttering in my heart, although my father is in his fifties, his body is still quite strong, how can he suddenly be critically ill?

I rushed to the city hospital, consulted the nurse and found the ward, several uncles in the village were there, my father was lying on the bed, turned his head to me and smiled, that smile was the same as when I enlisted in the army to see me off in the first year, the only difference was that it was far from the spirit of that time.

"My son, I'm back."

After smiling and saying this, he closed his eyes, and the sign instrument next to him let out a long beeping sound.

My mind went blank, I was stupid, I looked at my old father with a smile on his face in a daze, and pounced on him and cried.

I was only six years old when my mother left, and my father told me that my mother had gone abroad to work to earn money, and it was too far away from home, so it was inconvenient to go back and forth, and it would take a long time to come back.

At that time, I was still young, and I only occasionally felt sad and missed my mother. For the sake of my feelings, my father never remarried.

It wasn't until I grew up later that I realized it was my father's lie. But at that time, the pain of losing a mother has long been diluted by the years.

Now Dad is gone, too.

I stroked his already wrinkled face, and cried out uncontrollably:

"Dad, you haven't enjoyed the happiness yet......"

"Dad, Zhijie is not filial......"

……

Tears kept pouring into his mouth.

The heart-wrenching taste is salty.

My voice was hoarse, but my dad still didn't respond, he still smiled and left me forever.

Seeing my grief-stricken state, my uncles gathered around me and hugged me, and the second uncle choked up and said:

"Kid, uncles and uncles are still there, cheer up."

I couldn't cry anymore, my eyes went dark, and I fainted.

When I woke up, my second uncle told me that it had rained the night before my father's accident.

The next morning, my dad went to wipe the sign of the glorious house as usual, and the chair slipped and he fell and his body hit the chair.

Someone in the village passed by and saw him helping him up, only to find that the back of the chair had been smashed open by his body, and a crossbar had been stabbed into the back......

Hurriedly looking for a car to take him to the hospital, there was a big hole in the lobe of the lung, plus excessive blood loss, it was no longer possible, but he insisted on it until I came, and then he swallowed his breath......

No matter how sad you are, life still has to go on, and things still have to be dealt with.

I forced myself to wander around the hospital and funeral home to go through all kinds of procedures, and my sanity and hesitation crisscrossed and criss-crossed, and I returned home in a trance.

There is no change in the home, a familiar pattern, a familiar smell.

My dad was the only one who turned into a picture and put it on the table, and he would never sit in the chair next to him, drink tea, and listen to me tell the story of my time in the army......

I waited at home for my father's first seven years, and then I packed up my father's belongings and buried them together.

After dealing with all this, I took a photo of a family of three when I was a child, took my father's watch, and went to the train station alone.

On the train, I looked out the window, there was no more send-off, and another sadness came to my heart, and I forced myself to sort out my emotions, and the train slowly began to move forward.

After returning to the team, my comrades-in-arms expressed their condolences one after another and told me that I must be strong.

I knew I still had to move on, after all, my father's only hope was that I could be ambitious and strive to excel.

But immersed in sadness, can I really continue to lead the team on the mission as before?

A week later, the apprehension happened.

This was a simulated anti-terrorism exercise at the train station, everything went according to plan, and I successfully infiltrated the carriage to find a sniper point.

At the most critical moment, I happened to look out of the car window, and the perspective and scene layout were strikingly similar to the scene where my dad sent me at the station.

At this time, I had already begun to get distracted, delayed the order to attack, missed the best time to cut, and led to the failure of the exercise.

This time I was severely criticized, and the leader also knew about my situation, so he did not remove me from the position of captain, but only made a demerit punishment for probation.

I realized that this mistake was fatal, and after thinking all night, I turned in my application for demobilization.

The leaders of the unit still had high hopes for me, and advised me to think carefully before making a decision, and in the end, seeing that I had made up my mind, they approved the application.

Half a month later, my comrades-in-arms saw me off, because of special arms, no one will be demobilized unless there are physical reasons or special circumstances, so I am the only one in our entire company for this resumption of conscription.

Several old comrades-in-arms cried into tears, but how can there be a banquet in the world that will not be dispersed, in this month, I have not come out of the haze of losing my father, and I have to face this kind of parting, after all, more than ten years of comradeship, I don't know how long it will take for me to regain my strength.

I said goodbye to my comrades-in-arms and got on the train home, this time I went home, and I didn't have the mood of going home before, looking at the scenery that was speeding through the window, and fell asleep in a daze.