This scene is the most familiar to Feng Nan. For thirty years, the father was the sole authority in the family that could not be ignored. Not only in China, but also in the world, this seems to be the most normal family structure. There are many ways for fathers to shape authority, some rely on the rights conferred by the identity itself, and some rely on personal charisma, and the results seem to be similar, but the actual difference is huge. Those family atmospheres that are too strong, very preachy, and have no sense of boundaries at all always suppress human nature.

Feng Nan read the Red Chamber when she was a child, and she was completely uninterested in Bao Dai's sadomasochism, and the scene that shook her the most was: Wang Xifeng praised Xiaohong. The sharp-toothed little girl in the book made Feng Nan so envious - not envious of her sharp teeth, but envious of her having a pair of "deaf and dumb" parents, but unfortunately she only saw "deaf" but not "dumb" at home.

Extremes always breed extremes.

Whenever Father Feng opened the shelf, his mouth was like a river, talking, and aggressive, Feng Nan would feel that the channel of his language was blocked, his usual sharp teeth turned into aphasia, and his mind was also blank, only anger trembled in his chest.

This may also be a stress response that she has evolved after suffering from constant losses since childhood. Because the more you argue, the more you argue, and the more you argue, the more you will be responsible. There is a lot of time that comes and goes, and a child has to live in a high-decibel shouting for a long time, and something is going to happen. So she will use silence to dissolve, silence is like a ball of soft cotton, silence is a thick sponge, silence is like a dense net to wrap and protect her.

The silence will usher in a brief darkness before dawn, and the father will shout more fiercely, scolding her for not having a brain, and smashing her with all kinds of negative words, but as long as this period is passed, the father's emotional peak will pass, and the silence is coming.

This was also the most common way of parenting for parents in that era, and being scolded and beaten gave birth to the ballad of "beating is kissing, scolding is love".

Thanks to the times, it is difficult for a post-10s child like Xiaoman to have the opportunity to feel this "powerful" love again. Feng Nan's generation of novice parents believes in a different set of parenting philosophies: they care about emotional control, positive guidance, eager to be friends with their children, know how to respect, and eager to communicate.

But DNA is really wonderful, Feng Nan, who hates preaching and denial, actually feels more and more like her father, especially after Xiaoman was born, all kinds of contradictions are highlighted, she speaks harshly, has a lot of negative words, and always chokes Li Feng into her young self. Fortunately, she is not confused, she still knows herself, and she has avoided the weakness caused by the contradiction for a long time, and she has been calmed like a seal.

Compared with Feng Nan, Li Feng, who grows wantonly, obviously has a mind that is more in line with adults, and his world is open enough, without borders, and inclusive. Feng Nan has an instinctive resistance to arguments, but for Li Feng, it is an instinct to argue with reason, state opinions, not be afraid of authority, and express himself.

At this moment, he expressed his views on his father-in-law's opinion, he said: "Dad, I agree with what you said about choosing carefully, but I don't agree with your view of identity. Society is developing, and it is no longer the era of eating big pot rice. Liquidity brings crisis, but it also brings opportunity. Now everyone has their own skills, and those who have the ability still have the right to choose. ”

Father Feng hadn't tasted the taste of being refuted for too long, he was a little stunned at first, and then he became interested, and he asked rhetorically: "You mean you have the ability?" ”

"I'm not referring to a specific person, I'm referring to it in general."

"Hey! That's right," Father Feng raised his fan and replied: "Those who know others are valuable, and those who know themselves are clear." You know that you're not stupid with a few pounds and a few taels. It's too easy for you to think! Where do you feel the complexity of society? ”

"Dad, you sometimes think too complicated. If you really go out, you have to think about it simply. You can't be scared to death by yourself. ”

"Hey, I just want to talk about you playing with fire, you, whether you change jobs or change places, you are not my son, I can't control you. But I'm in charge of my daughter! Let me remind you: you are parents, and the first thing is a sense of responsibility! Be responsible! Father Feng's voice was an octave higher.

Feng Nan opened the silent golden bell jar, listening to the noise of two parallel lines that did not intersect at all and were far away, and shook his head helplessly. dragged Li Feng to his room.

Li Feng watched Feng Nan close the door and said, "You shouldn't pull me." ”

"If I don't pull you, you two are going to fight!" Feng Nan lowered his voice and said.

Sure enough, Father Feng's sonorous and worried words came from outside, and it was the old sentence: "Where can today's children do it!" ”

"In fact, many of Dad's views have his truth, and they make sense in his logic." When Li Feng heard his father-in-law's complaint, he didn't care, looked at Feng Nan and said, "Actually, you haven't given your father a chance to grow up. ”

When Feng Nan heard this, he raised his eyebrows and said in surprise: "It's my business!" You don't thank me for saving you, but teach me a lesson. ”

Li Feng looked at Feng Nan quietly and smiled, seeing that Feng Nan was hairy, he said, "Look, the way you look now is a copy of your father." Neither of you grew up. ”

Feng Nan's mouth moved, but she didn't refute in the end, she sat at the head of the bed, tugging at the small thin quilt, and kept silent.

Li Feng walked over, rubbed her hair and said, "Okay, I won't say it." You're annoyed again, aren't you? Don't contradict me, okay? I shut up. ”

Feng Nan raised her little face and cried without any prelude, she silently shed tears and asked in a low voice, "Am I particularly useless?" ”

Li Feng hugged her distressedly, booed while rubbing her big arm, and said, "It's me who is not good, you make me feel useless like this." In the past, I thought you were a lover, but I didn't realize that you weren't really happy. It's me who was wrong, give me some time, and I'll give you and Xiaoman a free space, okay? ”

Feng Nan nodded vigorously in Li Feng's arms. She suddenly discovered that Li Feng, who was always roaring by herself, was such a delicate person, it turned out that he was not immature, but just not tactful.

- "When children truly become responsible adults, most parents are reluctant to lose contact and connection with them, and they themselves must find a way through this dangerous period of "post-youth"

Feng Nan remembered the sentence she saw in a psychology magazine, and she thought, when will the "post-youth" period of Ms. Feng Nan, who is a "post-youth" who is aware of it later, arrive......

At that time, she didn't know that her best friend Lin Cen actually shouted the Declaration of Independence one step ahead of her......