Don't laugh at someone else's scar, because that's a wound you don't know about. This is what Little Bean taught me.

Xiao Douzi was probably really drunk, and he kept stroking a scar on his hand and began to murmur his story to me:

"I don't have a father, and the name Xiaodouzi was chosen by my mother, but the appearance of my mother has long been blurred in my mind. The only thing I remember is that my mother sold me to Master, and it was snowing heavily that day. My mother took me to the master, who said that I had six fingers, and that singing affected my appearance, so he didn't want to accept me. My mother carried me out, and she cut off my sixth finger with her own hands, which I thought was the most painful wound in the world. Master took me in, my mother was reincarnated and left, and I never encountered such a cold winter night again, as cold as water. I haven't seen my mother since, but every winter night, I think of her, and my hand starts to ache. ”

When Xiaodouzi said this, it seemed that his hand was starting to hurt again, he held his hand, squatted on the ground and began to cry.

I know that there are some injuries that cannot be comforted and do not need to be comforted. I didn't make a sound, and when Xiaodouzi calmed down by himself, he cried and laughed, and there was too much helplessness in his smile. After a long time, he continued:

"Master taught me to learn art, taught me to respect my teacher, and taught me to start from the beginning. Master is very strict, and his severity is so terrifying that the little leper even commits suicide because he is afraid of Master. I am also afraid of Master, I try to escape, but we cannot escape the palm of fate. Although the master is frightening and the learning art is also very hard, the senior brother takes good care of me, and with him, it seems that life is not so difficult. ”

Xiaodouzi talked about his senior brother, his tone became gentle, his eyes were far away, probably recalling the bits and pieces with his senior brother, which were unforgettable for him.

"I thought that life would go by like this for the rest of my life, I didn't want to be a corner, I just wanted to live a life in peace. But there was an uninvited guest in the troupe, his name was Grandpa Zhang, and he asked me to sing. I sang: I am a man, not a woman. But my brother asked me to sing: I am a female Jiao'e, not a man. I sang, and I was selected to sing for Grandpa Zhang. When everyone left the stage after singing, I was taken to Zhang's father-in-law's room, I don't know what's wrong, I don't know what will happen, I want to find my brother. But I couldn't find it, and then I was defiled by Grandpa Zhang. I've always been like this, I can't break free with all my might, just as I can't break free from my fate. ”

Xiao Douzi said this, suddenly looked up at me and asked:

"You say, am I a boy or a girl?"

I looked him in the eye and said:

"You're a little bean."

Because you're a little bean, nothing else matters, I added in my heart. Little Douzi nodded, and continued:

"My brother came to save me, he carried me out of the filthy place, and my brother said that he would be with me for the rest of my life, and I thought it was true. But he doesn't want me now, he's married to a bad woman named Juxian. ”

Xiaodouzi began to cry again, his tears were always so much, he really looked like Yu Ji. But there were so many tears, and I hadn't even noticed his original tears.

"Little Bean, do you hate? Your mother abandoned you, your master abused you, Father-in-law Zhang defiled you, your senior brother owed you, do you hate them? ”

"Hate? Does hate make sense? ”

I thought he hated at least.

"Mother also has her helplessness, she can't support me, so she sold me to Master. The master is strict because he loves drama like his life, so his requirements are also very strict. As for Father-in-law Zhang, although he is hateful, he is not worthy of my hatred. And my brother, I will forsake those who forsake me. My life was destined to be a tragedy from the beginning, and I couldn't break free, so there was nothing to hate. ”

Mourning is greater than dying, he is not not hateful, but he has given up hate, and blames all the hatred for his life. But how innocent life is, how innocent he is, why should he take responsibility for the mistakes of others. I wanted to help him, but I always felt that this rebellion was like making up for the debt to Luo Hua.

His father, he said that he did not have a father, in fact, it was a kind of ignorance and denial of his father. I suddenly understood that what he hated was his father, and if it weren't for his father's irresponsibility, there would be no Cheng Dieyi today. For others, Cheng Dieyi is a famous character and is in the limelight, but only he knows that under the heavy makeup, there are tears streaming down his face, and there are thousands of holes in the glossy.

"You hate your father."

After I finished speaking, Xiaodouzi's good-looking face began to distort,

"Yes, I hate this irresponsible man, men are all negative people. I thought that my brother was different, but now it seems that there is no credible man in the world. ”

No wonder he wants to be a female Jiao'e, how can he be a man.

"Little bean, let it go, let yourself go, such an irresponsible person is not worth your thoughts. We can't change others, but we can change ourselves. ”

I could feel that he was on the verge of a breakdown, and that he was about to explode at any moment, and he asked loudly:

"You told me to let go, how can I let go, all my tragedies today are because of him, he is the source of all my pain."

I didn't know what to say, looking at Xiaodouzi, I just felt extremely distressed. I went up and hugged the poor boy, and said that there must be something hateful about the poor man, but what is there for him to hate?

"But even if I don't put it down, even if I jump high, he will turn a blind eye."

Xiaodouzi hugged me and said this, and then she cried heartbreakingly, as if she wanted to cry out all her grievances.

"Little Bean, forget it."

He cried and cried that he must have been tired, so he fell asleep, and I don't know if he heard what I said. I saw a crystal clear tear in the corner of his eye, a tear of original injury, and I hurriedly put it away.

I used half a drop of his tears to make a "sorrow", and when I saw the sky glowing with fish white, I gently woke him up:

"Little Douzi, wake up, you should go back, your senior brother may be looking for you, you are gone, he should be worried."

Little Beanzi staggered to his feet, and I handed him the "wounded" and said:

"Give you a glass of wine, may you be worry-free."

He said:

"Borrow a glass of wine and forget all your sorrows."

After speaking, he seemed to suddenly wake up, and drank all the "wounds". Then, I saw that he seemed a little dazed, and then he smiled and left, which was his real smile, a little brighter than the morning glow on the horizon.

Looking at his back as he faded away, I breathed a sigh of relief. I took out the other half of his tears and looked at them in my hand, I haven't seen Luo Hua for a long time. I immediately set off and came to Meng Po Village, but Luo Hua still didn't want to come out to see me, so I let out a long sigh and gave my tears to Meng Po.