We like people who are warm and easy, but there are also people who are born to be quiet, and that's not bad, they can make you feel different, and you don't have to squeeze into the crowd and force a smile.

We like people with a gentle temper, we don't have to quarrel over trivial things, but no matter how good the temper is, it doesn't mean that there is none, don't bear it when you should have a temper, and there is no need to wronged yourself to live like everyone.

We envy people who live a prosperous life, not all of them have this ability, who stipulates that everyone must live a wonderful life, I am ordinary but I am free.

Don't always grieve yourself in order to accommodate others, there are few people in this world who are worthy of you to bow your head so much, if you retreat too much, others often have to inch in, you are the person who should let yourself love in the world, don't let yourself suffer too much grievances and shed tears.

Even if you are good to everyone, not necessarily everyone is good to you, the heart is reserved for those who understand you, the love is reserved for those who love you, and these are all given to those who deserve it.

Be a simple person, have a heart of your own, don't live up to every sincere enthusiasm, don't have to please any indifference and ruthlessness, live, don't block others, and more importantly, make yourself comfortable.

Leng Qian, an optimistic person who lives for herself, soon has a new job while losing her job. Just as Han Yi admires her, she also admires Han Yi.

Is this a chance encounter with a confidant?

In the vast sea of people, there are a lot of people coming to you, in the world, there are more people passing by, there are always some people who have helped you, but they stay on the way, there is always a love to move you, but it is fixed in the heart, you have met countless people in your life, and you know a hundred faces, but the real confidant is too difficult to find, too difficult for a long time.

What is a confidant? A confidant is a warmth around you, a constant miss no matter how far away you are, a friend who does not dislike you when you are down, and a person who is rich and does not stay away from you.

This is a kind of trust, down-to-earth peace of mind, never forced; This is a kind of friendship, no matter how long you get along, you never get tired of it; This is a kind of identity, with a tacit understanding, never going far, needless to say that it will last forever, and will not share weal and woe, but will only go with the flow and support life together.

A true confidant will not let you spend all day drinking, but will only accompany you to chat about your feelings; A true confidant will not be envious or jealous of you, but will only cheer for you.

They don't count, you give more or less; They only care about whether you are doing well or not. When you are in trouble, do not frown and lend a hand; When he is in trouble, he only reports good news to you, not bad news. He wants you to be good, he wants you to laugh, he doesn't want to bother you.

Thousands of rivers and mountains are not far away, but the past life and present life are the distance. It is rare to have a confidant in life, and it is rare to meet a confidant.

If someone understands you, helps you, is not far away from you, he doesn't leave when you are in trouble, he doesn't ask for your wealth, he looks forward to your success, and wishes you happiness, please cherish this kind of person. He is a rare blessing for you, and he is your best confidant in this life.

Leng Qian walked out of the hotel door with great joy, with mixed feelings in her heart

Assemble.

She remembered a quote she had seen not long ago: "You don't suffer much more than others, and the pain comes mainly from sensitivity and vulnerability." ”【@！ ！ Fastest update]

Later, she kept it in her collection, probably because she had experienced sensitivity and vulnerability, and now she had become mature and powerful, and she resonated with this sentence from the heart.

It's probably so long since she's been out of her teens that her memories of dealing with things as a teenager are blurry.

When she was in high school in Taipei, she confessed to a boy and was rejected, and half of the girls in the class came around to comfort her; When she fell and injured herself while working part-time outside the university, her roommates took turns to wash her hair and help her change clothes; When she first graduated, she would have friends who would come to talk to her about things that didn't go well at work.

Those things that everyone will encounter in life are magnified and exaggerated by you, and then you rightfully feel that you have suffered from the unsatisfactory situation in life, and you feel that life is unfair to you. In fact, it's not that life tortures you repeatedly, it's just that you are too weak to feel unbearable.

When she was sent to Beijing, a good friend she met there lost her job because the company couldn't run and her rent was due, and the friend called her and asked if she could come and stay with her for a few days. Friends who came to her house only stayed for a week, and during that week, she went out on time to look for a job and kept an eye out for various rental information. On Saturday night, she called her mother on time to tell her about the week, but she didn't say a word about the fact that she had no job and no house, and at that moment she felt like a world away.

When I was a child, I sued the teacher when I was wronged at school, and the older one who went to sue the teacher was always laughed at by other classmates; When I first came out to work hard, I often called my mother in Taipei to complain about the high prices in Seoul and the fact that the company's colleagues were not easy to get along with.

Life has not changed much, and the things that were encountered in the past are still encountered now, such as birth, old age, sickness and death, such as failed love, such as the moment when you are frustrated at work. But as we grow and age, you and I have gradually learned to accept and bear it, learn to minimize the damage, and try not to affect our normal life.

There's a passage: "What's the deal with sensitivity? The same thing, it is easier for oneself than others to think of it as a setback; What's the deal with fragility? The same frustration produces more negative emotions than others; What is Depression? The same negative emotions take more time and effort to recover from than others. What is the weakling? Sensitive, vulnerable, depressed people. ”

The people around her are learning more and more to put away their emotions and find solutions as quickly as possible when they encounter unsatisfactory things. She rarely receives phone calls from friends who are out of love to tell her feelings, because everyone gradually understands that crying can't solve any problems, and people who don't love you still won't love you, so even if they fall out of love, these people choose to accept and get better quickly.

The circle of friends rarely sees the news that everyone complains about the difficulty of life and hard work, because they gradually understand that fragility and sensitivity cannot make their lives better, no matter how reluctant you are, you still have to do what you need to do the next day.

Squeeze out a smile and face people who don't care about your emotions or care about them.

Life has never been open to anyone, so no one's life is really satisfactory, but some people do not cry when they encounter difficulties and setbacks, do not cry and rush to the ground, do not cry and are not exhausted, do not stay in the trap of failure and are unwilling to move, they choose to accept it quickly and find a solution.

So don't complain that life is unfair, those who seem to have smooth sailing don't experience fewer ups and downs than you, they just don't have as fragile and sensitive as you, they just choose not to say it.

At the age of 30, the biggest change brought to her by growing up is not that she has become more and more fearless of difficulties and setbacks, but that she has no courage and ability to take responsibility, she will be afraid and helpless, and now she will accept it calmly and quickly find a way to solve the difficulties. She accepted the trials that life gave her, but she never bowed to them.

It is normal to experience short-term tribulations in life, falling out of love is not something that only she will experience, and unhappiness does not happen only to her, the best way to escape from the low pressure of life is not to dodge, but to rise to the occasion. Those seemingly endless and heavy things will always pass, and what she has to do is not to moan without illness, not to stand in place, but to quickly get out of this strange circle.

Sometimes I feel that in the face of certain things, she has become silent and rational because she has accepted her fate, only to find out later that it is not her fate that she has accepted her fate, but that she has grown up.

We will always have such a feeling that we will suddenly not contact the people around us for a long time, in fact, don't tell others how much you have been wronged, when you are wronged, others will do the same, don't make the whole world should put a band-aid on your wound.

Sometimes a bad mood is like a rainstorm in the summer, there is no precursor and no opening line, you stand alone under the eaves, looking at hundreds of friends in your phone address book, but you don't know who to send an umbrella over.

From chattering to maturity, maybe it only takes a moment.

So at a certain moment, you suddenly realize that you haven't been in touch with your friends for a long time, and you can digest the grievances and pressure perfectly, and you only find out at this time that a person has really grown up.

She thinks that there are always a few days in a month when everyone will be depressed, will have negative energy, will not want to do anything and just want to lie down, all that comes to mind is the things that are not done well, and the bad handling of human feelings, and no matter how hard you can't pass the exam, maybe at this time, when you hear a song, or when emotions gather, tears will slide down your cheeks to your chin, you feel very uncomfortable, but you don't want to raise your hand to wipe it off.

You want to find someone to cry to, you want to tell them about your grievances and losses, you want to cry out loud, you don't want to pretend to be strong, but then you think about it, what if others are also suffering from this stage of loss at this time, what if others are busy at this time...

So, the phone I picked up was slowly put down, and all I could do was to hold on to the quilt on my body, and then until I got the whole person into the quilt.

Sometimes, for some reason, the quilt always brings a sense of security to people and puts the whole body up and down

When it's all wrapped in, when the slightest wind can't throw it in, it seems that I'm not afraid of anything, and listening to the thin but regular heartbeat, it seems that it's not so annoying.

In fact, you see, you don't have to say your grievances out loud, when you are alone, watch a movie, run 10 kilometers, or sleep, and it will disappear.

Leng Qian, who has experienced social tempering, knows deeply that in life, we have been more or less slapped by life. Doing a job you don't like, smiling at people you don't like, eating food you don't like, loving people you don't like, but that's life.

When everyone is tormented to pieces, they still have to think about how to live better, and no one is an exception.

There are some people who look glamorous on the outside, but there are also times when they sit alone at the dinner table and eat fast food alone at night; Some people who laugh all day long sometimes cry silently when they lie in bed when they get home; Some people who are usually held by the stars can only carry it by themselves when she has encountered difficulties.

Therefore, no one is easy, so if you can solve the grievances and pain by yourself, try not to trouble others.

When I fell when I was a child, I immediately cried loudly, wanting my parents to hug you in distress after seeing it; When I grew up, I fell down, covered my mouth and gritted my teeth, and then said to them with a smile, it's okay, it's really okay, it doesn't hurt.

It's not that it doesn't really hurt, but they finally understand that when you're in pain, they can't help anything.

Cai Kangyong once said: When you feel very frustrated and feel that it is difficult, you can close your eyes, imagine yourself, imagine yourself ten years later, put yourself away from a distance, and turn your head to see what is happening now. Then you practice doing it again, and your mood may calm down a little bit, because you know that everything in front of you will eventually pass.

No matter how difficult it is, don't make your pain known to everyone, and don't say too much about your helplessness to another person.

We always expect another person to empathize with us, but often if someone else can't, it will only disappoint you even more.

A person will inevitably experience some pain that he has not imagined, and these are all necessary processes in life, and he must learn to adapt, learn to endure, and then learn to slowly overcome it.

(End of chapter)