My grandmother lived alone in a water town in the south of the Yangtze River, and my grandfather died very young. I rarely saw her, but in this house, she was the best for me, taking me to catch crabs in the ditch and row in the stream. She's one of the few good old people I've ever met.

I walked outside the drawing paper, touched the south of the Yangtze River, and learned the tenderness of the water, the lightness of the wind, and the small bridge. In the south of the Yangtze River, the four seasons are like a day, there are mountains, rivers and small bridges, and the scenery can be painted with a brush. Awning boats, oil-paper umbrellas, and blue prints can't keep up with the trend of the times, but they are unique. The wind here is not as cold as the north, the sunset is also gentle, and the mellow aroma of peach blossoms can also be intoxicating.

Dragged his suitcase through the bluestone paved path, and the rumbling sound was particularly harsh.

Grandma's house is in the east of the village, there is a pond of water in front of the door, and a purple bamboo behind the house.

"Grandma?" I hadn't seen her for a long time, she had lost the stubbornness of her youth, and her gray hair was almost completely white.

Hearing my call, she raised her head to look at me, stretched out her hand like a dead branch to me, and smiled: "Xiaoge, you are here." ”

"Well, grandma, I'm here."

"Let's go into the house and eat, the bed is all laid away for you."

The rice cooked by grandma is cooked on the stove, and there will be a layer of pot under the rice, which is covered with sugar, which is delicious. She is in her early eighties, she can make wine, and she loves to drink, and before eating, she must have a small glass before eating.

"Xiaoge, I've grown up and become better-looking. It's time to go to college, you brute daddy, how are you doing? My daughter doesn't make people worry, she actually raised you so thin......."

I don't know if once people get old, they will become nagging, and when my grandmother was young, she didn't talk much. Mother said, "I'll follow my grandmother."

After eating, she led me to my room.

"It's been a long time since I've lived there, so I haven't cleaned it up, so let's make do with it."

"It's okay, thank you, grandma."

"Don't worry, grandma is sleepy, take a nap, you can clean up too......"

The house was dusty, with a floor-to-ceiling window facing the sun, and the bed was still clean, presumably cleaned.

The day after tomorrow is the first day of the Lunar New Year, but there are only me and my grandmother in the house, deserted. My mother is the only child in the family, and on weekdays, maybe only my grandmother spends the Spring Festival alone, and on the day of family reunion, there is no family to stay by her side.

I can't help but feel a little sorry for her, and it's hard to imagine how she survived these difficult years.

I packed up my stuff and stared at the phone screen in a daze.

Edit SMS: I'm home.

Delete.

Zhang Huaixu, how are you? Have you returned to Beijing? It's New Year's Day soon, Happy New Year........

Delete.

I turned my head, tossed my phone aside, looked at the ceiling, and thought, "Oh, what am I doing, when did I become such a mother-in-law?"

Maybe he doesn't want to know anything about me right now?

I closed my eyes, hazy

Falling asleep in a daze, Zhang Huaixu took another girl's hand, and I walked behind, unable to shout, and unable to catch up. The boy was right in front of me, but I wasn't there anymore........

At three o'clock in the morning, for the first time in my life, I woke up from a dream.

At this time, my grandmother happened to open the door and came in, carrying a bamboo basket covered with blue calico.

"Yo, Xiaoge, you got up so early, it's just right, your grandfather is on the mountain, I'll send him something to eat." Grandma smiled kindly.

Grandfather? Grandpa didn't ........ more than 50 years ago

I heard from the neighbor next door that after my grandfather died, my grandmother became nervous, and she often talked to herself alone in front of the peach blossom tree at the head of the village.

"Xiaoge, do you want to go with grandma? Go see your grandfather. ”

I didn't worry about letting her go up the mountain alone, so I nodded, put on my coat and went out with my grandmother.

The mountain road was winding all the way, last night the rain was sparse and the wind was sudden, and the road was still a little muddy, even I had some difficulty walking, but my grandmother was as light as a swallow humming all the way, like a little girl who went to see her lover.

My grandfather was buried under a peach blossom tree on the top of the mountain. At this time, it is not the season when the peach blossoms are in full bloom, and the withered branches are next to the lonely grave, which looks a little desolate.

"Old man, I've come to see you, are you used to staying here? I brought you peach blossom stuffing, and sugar cakes, all made by me, and they're still hot, so try them?" Grandma took out the food in the bamboo basket on a plate and arranged it neatly.

"This is Xiaoge, our granddaughter, do you think it's beautiful? Like when I was younger, not? Hey, if only we Ah Yao could be more sensible, and you can see her often........"

Grandma knelt at the grave for more than four hours, babbling a lot.

"Grandma, you are like this, grandpa is also sad when he sees it." I said to her.

"Yes, I know, my old man, was gone fifty years ago......... He's been gone for so long that I don't remember what he looks like, but ah, there's still his smell on the pillow, there's still his favorite cigarette in the drawer, and the little cannons he picked up are still alive, and I think your grandfather is still alive, but he can't see each other, and he's still alive........"

There are feelings in her eyes that I can't tell, hope and disappointment, and it is a very complicated look.

Maybe she is such a paranoid person, I even heard that on the day of my grandfather's death, she beat all the people who came to mourn back, burned the pear blossom wooden coffin in front of the door, and sat in the snow all night with her grandfather's corpse, not crying, not making trouble, not going crazy, just holding him, laughing and saying a lot of things, from the past to the future. It wasn't until three days later that she couldn't do anything to see her grandfather's face turn pale and blue, and her skin emitted a foul smell, that she resigned herself to letting her grandfather be taken away for burial.

Maybe it's because of attachment, more than ten years of ups and downs were carried by her and grandpa, and they were suddenly lost

The dependence of life will collapse anyone.

But she is a strong woman, and she has not shed a tear for more than fifty years. At least that's how outsiders see her. Perhaps because today is special, I sat in the courtyard for an afternoon, and people came and went pointing and saying a lot.

The grandma I saw was indeed such a person.

I have a habit of waking up late.

At night, when I passed by my grandmother's room in a sleepy state, I saw her burying her head in her grandfather's pillow, holding the quilt, nagging, and tears in her eyes.

"Old man, dead old man, you have left me behind for fifty years, why do I still miss you like this......."

I was stunned.

It is said that sensible people will not make a sound even if they collapse, but in fact, you just don't see that when you dream back at midnight, the pillow is empty, but his breath is still in the world, and in the bottom of his heart, how surging and shaky it will be, when memories sweep like a tide, the love words that have nowhere to be told for more than 50 years will be how jerky and bitter and bitter it will be.

Love, can it really last so long? So much so that the person is gone, and he can't control his thoughts....... I've never believed that one person can remember another person for a lifetime, especially between lovers.

Love, as thin as a cicada's wings, fleeting, perhaps in a thought, is two lives........

December 31, 2010, 11:59.

The sound of firecrackers outside the window was very noisy, and I lost sleep, sitting at the head of the bed, watching the fireworks scatter and rise again.

"Let's go back, it's over......."

The boy's back when he said this was still clear. He didn't say exactly what it was all about, and I thought of countless answers, but I was reluctant to accept any of my assumptions.

Because I obviously like that boy....... I was worried so much about whether it was right or wrong. A boy as good as he is, I really don't want to leave an indelible scar on his heart.

What's more, it was his first love.......

Little did I know then, at the very moment when the clock struck 12 o'clock in the night, the boy stood in the snow, looked up at the same starry sky as me, and said to the most abominable girl:

"Tan Lige, Happy New Year, I ......... I still miss you so much. ”

Due to the late sleep the day before, the next day, I woke up late and went downstairs in a daze and hazy manner almost after the time for lunch.

"Xiaoge, the sound of firecrackers made you noisy last night, didn't you sleep, right?" Grandma sat on the sofa in the living room, "This is your cousin Luohe, come and see you." ”

It was then that I noticed the young man sitting next to my grandmother. Wheat-colored skin, not tall, a handsome face, belongs to the kind of good-looking boys.

"Hello cousin." I simply said hello to him.

"Hello, you are Xiaoge, I also go to school in Hangzhou, if you need anything, you can find me, your brother, you're welcome."

"Okay, thank you, cousin."

Grandma and this one are called Luo

The cousin of the river talked about the sky like a surging river. From the gossip of neighbors to national events, and from national events to climate farming......

Looking at this old lady who seemed to be in good spirits and smiling, I even wondered if I was wrong last night.

She pretended to be so strong, maybe she just didn't want everyone to worry about her..........

"By the way, Luo Luo, Xiaoge will go back to school in two days, if you are so close, how about sending Xiaoge back by the way?"

"No problem, grandma."

So that's it, I was entrusted by my grandmother to Cousin Luohe, this cousin who doesn't seem to be very reliable.......

(End of chapter)