Adult life is not easy. Many times, for a better life, for a better love for your family, you have been running, all the time desperately pressuring yourself, asking yourself to do more and better. As everyone knows, the heavy pressure and burden have already made me feel tired.

Although you have worked hard enough, the pressure of work and life will always hit you again and again in every casual moment. In the face of life's hardships, you have to choose to be strong again and again.

Although you have been attentive enough, misunderstandings from friends and complaints from relatives occur from time to time, and many times, in order to maintain that important emotion in your heart, you have chosen to be understanding and tolerant.

Whenever someone asks you how you're doing, you try to put on a smile and say "it's good."

In fact, only you know best whether it is good or not. Some things are destined to be hidden in the heart. Slowly, you realize that along the way, you have chased money, suffered for feelings, and suffered for others, but you rarely really cared about yourself.

Maybe that's what growth looks like. When we are young, we have to exaggerate a lot of sentimentality, but when we grow up, we learn to be more painful, more quiet, more bitter, and more silent.

Even if there are many ups and downs in life, you still have to choose to run, and even if there are many grievances in life, you still have to work hard to face them.

"Thank you!" Han Yi glanced at Ammy, a smile squeezing out of his tired and uncomfortable face.

"Thank you, I don't have anything to do anyway! If I don't send you home safely, won't my hours of hard work in the hospital in the afternoon be wasted? Ammy looked at Han Yi as she looked at the vehicles passing by on the road.

The night was also quite quiet, and the street lamps stretched the figures of the two of them very long. She couldn't help but look at Han Yi a few more times, and after a short time together, it was like entering his heart and understanding his sorrows and troubles.

Han Yi was still thinking about how to explain what happened to Qiu Lang, so that he would be a little more acceptable. He was wondering if he should also tell Qiu Lang about Old Man Qiu's illness, so that he wouldn't have to keep these secrets that made him miserable, and it would be a relief anyway.

"Don't think about it so much, get a good night's sleep when you go home, and when you are full of energy tomorrow, any problem will be solved!" Ammy comforted Han Yi truthfully, although she didn't know what was going on.

She saw an empty taxi and waved frantically, "It's coming, it's coming!" Approaching Han Yi's side, as if he might faint at any time, he put Han Yi in the car, and then said to him with a smile: "Send me a clockwork > when you get home."

Han Yi waved his hand at her and said "good night".

In this era of impetuous and noisy people, many people put on a mask for themselves, laughing and laughing during the day, but putting their sadness into the night, talking and laughing at others, but keeping the pain to themselves. Even such an innocent and kind-hearted Ammy is the same, if she doesn't feel the same way, how can she see through Han Yi's injuries at a glance?

Because others can't understand

Our sufferings and lack of a sense of responsibility to empathize with our suffering, help us answer our questions, and can only hide all our vulnerabilities in our hearts, and no longer expect an understanding.

Han Yi had no words and no explanation.

As it says in "Norwegian Wood": "Growth is exactly what it is, that people struggle with loneliness, get hurt, lose, lose, and yet still have to live." ”

When I was young, some people hurt when I cried, and some people coaxed me when I was angry, and there was not so much loneliness at that time; When I grew up, I fell and no one helped me, and no one understood my heartache, so I learned to be strong and carried it silently.

It's just that if the pain can be shared, no one wants to carry it alone, and if the tears can be unscrupulous, no one wants to bear it silently.

Obviously longing to be understood, but not finding a person who really has the same frequency and rate, is the real loneliness, and those unspeakable pains are called pain.

Many times, in the face of a difficult life, everyone hopes that someone cares when they are tired, someone is distressed when they are suffering, someone is relieved when they are hurt, and someone is comforted when they are hurt.

However, in reality, there is more self-knowledge, in the eyes of others, we have been tempered into steel, and we can face all the wind and rain alone, but the pain in our hearts is only clear to ourselves.

After enduring so much and accumulating so much sadness, I found that there are thousands of people in the world, and there are few who can stand up to each other, instead of burying all the pain in the bottom of my heart and trapping myself with negativity, it is better to learn to heal alone, be my own shoulder, and accompany myself to experience.

all said: "I'd rather make people feel heartless than pitiful." ”

When we bear all the pain alone, we no longer sting ourselves because of the words of others, but regard ourselves as the most reliable person.

I believe that those difficult grievances, those things that make people cry silently, are just the scenery along the way, when we get through, we will no longer be troubled by these setbacks, when we become strong, we can manage our own lives, meet people who really fit our souls, and the rest of our lives will be safe and worry-free.

Like countless nights before, looking at the night outside the car window, Han Yi suddenly felt that he had lost a lot of things.

I don't have enough time to spend with my parents, I don't have enough energy to enjoy life with the people I love, and I don't have the time and energy to manage the poetry and distance in my heart.

But so what? We have to go down this road.

There are fewer and fewer people who can understand him, and over time he becomes a lonely patient.

What does a person do when they are lonely? Why do people feel lonely?

Maybe you are stranded in a small airport in a country you've never been to waiting for a connecting flight, surrounded by strangers and unfamiliar languages that make you lonely; Maybe sitting in a movie theater watching a movie without resonance with someone who is extremely disgusted, the weakness and powerlessness of communication makes you alone; Maybe a chance encounter in a big city makes you lonely; Or after sleeping in the same bed, you will still be lonely and lonely.

These loneliness are written into life, but writing is not about loneliness, and it should not be just about loneliness.

Loneliness always needs a mirror image

。 From the very beginning, loneliness was carried with a sense of literary superiority - "those who like loneliness are either beasts or gods". "Loneliness" transcends the physiological level in the text, and has become the privilege of "modern society" and "modern people". Acknowledging loneliness is like acknowledging a certain intellect; And to deny loneliness is to succumb to worldly principles. The loneliness at this time is no longer loneliness, but the "melancholy" background deliberately smeared on the faces of the nobles in the Renaissance, and it seems that they are not easy to be flattered by the sick.

Three years ago, Bai Xue chose to study abroad and temporarily separated from him and no longer contacted him. It didn't take long for him to fall in love with a Japanese TV series called "Lonely Gourmet", and it is undeniable that this title became his first choice for watching it late at night, because he himself was also obsessed with "loneliness". Episode by episode, watching the Japanese uncle eat alone and read the confession alone, Uncle Gorou didn't want to communicate with the audience or the store.

He didn't see any story at all, just in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep, he needed a piece of foreign language to provoke his taste buds.

Just like the city at this time, it is also lonely.

The sound of cars driving by in the middle of the night is particularly clear, and I feel that everything is unfathomable and uncontrollable. What does this city have to do with him? And what does the people in the car have to do with him?

When he got up the next day, he could communicate with almost everyone on WeChat, often mixed with pictures or various data transmissions. Work, writing, communication, communication, and greetings are done in the same interface, and this is the life he is facing now. It's lonely, but I've never regretted or complained about it.

"Lonely, isn't it there all the time? Like shadows, sometimes shaking, sometimes obscuring, sometimes blending into one. No one is an isolated island, everyone is a part of the earth. Such a sentence was evoked by his heart at this moment, and then deeply imprinted in his mind.

Han Yi is not a dark and lonely person, he has always been very sunny, positive, in good times, he knows how to cherish and be grateful, and in adversity, he knows how to reflect and change. But when it comes to emotional matters, he is sometimes overwhelmed.

"What are you doing? Hurry up to the snow, I have something important to announce! Keiko's call interrupted his thoughts.

"I'm a little tired, so I'll go back and rest first. I'll talk about that tomorrow. Han Yi hung up the phone directly as he said and replied calmly.

Keiko wondered, the phone call to Qiu Lang didn't go through, and she originally wanted the two of them to go over and take care of everything, but this is good, none of them are reliable.

She secretly called Han Yi with Bai Xue on her back, and then slipped out of the room.

"Jiajia, you, come here, sit here!" Keiko pulled Li Jia across from her and Bai Xue, "What the hell is the situation, recruit from the truth!" ”

Bai Xue's strange eyes looked at it immediately, she wanted to hear Li Jia's answer, but she was afraid to know the answer from her mouth, afraid that it would be the same as what she thought.

Li Jia scratched her hair frantically, "What do you want me to say?!" I don't understand! ”

"Then I'll ask, and you will answer."

Bai Xue stared at Li Jia's eyes resolutely, without giving her a chance to say no, Li Jia was forced to nod.

"The child in Hao Yali's belly, is it Han Yi's?"

Li Jia hesitated, not that she didn't want to say it, but that she couldn't be 100% sure, but she had seen Hao Yali, and in her opinion, this matter was already eight or nine.

"You mean!" Keiko said anxiously: "I'm really confused by you!" ”

Li Jia confessed: "You injured your hand in the bar that night, and after you came back, I saw that you were preoccupied, and I guessed that you would go to Hao Yali." So, the next day I went to the bar first and asked them not to tell you where Hao Yali lived. Actually, I just want the boss to tell you about it personally, otherwise this misunderstanding will only get deeper and deeper. I went to see her, and at first I didn't think she could be trusted, but ······ To be sure, she wasn't lying. ”

Keiko was in a fog, "Did Han Yi already know?" ”

"When I was in New York with Han Yi, she sent me a message saying she wanted to talk to me. I knew that Han Yi cared about my opinion of him very much, and felt that the last scandal was over, and he didn't want to dwell on it anymore, so he ignored him. At that time, did Han Yi already know that Hao Yali was pregnant with his child? ”

Bai Xue didn't want to think like this, but he couldn't help but wonder if all this was premeditated by Han Yi to hide and deceive her.

"Not really!" Li Jia explained categorically: "He only found out after he came back from New York, and he never believed what Hao Yali said. Knowing that he doesn't believe it very much now, plus he is very busy during this time, he has no time to deal with this matter at all. ”

"Processing? How to deal with it? Give her money to get rid of the child? So that she will never appear in front of us again? Bai Xue's eyes were moist, bloodshot and uncontrollable, "Did he already let you do this!?" Otherwise, how could Hao Yali suddenly and all the time, and no one was seen! ”

Li Jia knew very well that everything she did was thankless, so she could understand Bai Xue's resentment and condemnation of her.

(End of chapter)