"So it's not good to have a home! There's a lot to do, it's really exhausting. Avi said as he spit out his bones.

In my senior year, I also interned at an off-campus company. On the way to help the boss deliver materials to the business partner I was working with, I was stunned. I remember that daylight was excessive, everything in my eyes was too white, and even the zebra crossing was scattered, attracting traffic accidents. I clicked on a grid of white and pressed a grid of gray to walk to the opposite side, and my steps were chaotic like stepping on the piano keys, and I was not playing Chopin's music, but a beggar holding a QR code for you to scan the code to give alms. I twisted the road and stepped up the steps in the other direction, unable to adjust the relativism of the city for a moment, and continued in the initial direction. It took me more than a hundred steps before I realized that I was going the other way.

I turned the bag around and paced back as if nothing had happened. I felt dizzy, I wanted to throw up, I couldn't stand the whirlwind on this plane.

Walk, forward or backward.

Architects are never satisfied with their houses in the city. Demolished and rebuilt, the entrance gurgling like a human eye. It can't be new, just like a homeless person can't have a job, and the future can be a thing of the past.

I walked all the way to the head of the bridge, or the end of the bridge. I realized that I had missed the third fork in the road, the one where I was supposed to turn right.

So I made a U-turn again, and I didn't know when the zipper of the file bag opened, and I closed it. At this time, I finally couldn't hold back, and the fat beef rice bowl in my stomach that had not had time to digest rushed up like an exhaust bag, and it spilled into my throat. I swallowed, and it took me half my mouth to spit.

As I walked, I counted the intersections. Now I'm cautious, because I don't have water, I can't make saliva and swallow that disgusting thing.

I should have thought that at the second junction it was time to turn left.

I bumped into a handsome boy in white T-jeans and flip-flops. He had his phone in his hand, and I noticed him at a distance of 0.1 seconds. I leaned sensibly to the right, and I made this decision by watching his footsteps. His raised heels were off the ground, and a few toes of the front foot contracted to grip the ground, and he was about to go to the left. But when I moved 0.5 meters to the right, his right foot took a step backwards and crossed behind his left foot, so his left foot had to stand at a distance of 0.1 meters in front of me with inertia. I came across a derailed train and couldn't tell if it was him or me, I just saw his phone drop on my file bag.

"I'm sorry!" He said.

"Excuse me!" I say.

"It's okay!" Say in unison.

I took his phone and he was holding my file bag. We exchange tokens with each other, and evil organizations trade.

I noticed the difference in the way he looked at me. Compared to my phone, I'm still much more vivid.

His fingers were hot and sweaty. There was still a layer of wetness left on the document bag. I tried to avoid the wetness, grabbed a corner in my fingers, and walked straight ahead. He shifted slightly, a little overwhelmed, like a teddy dog that had lost its owner.

Within a few steps, I crossed the first intersection. I realized that I had lost too much time, so I kept my eyes on the next intersection and picked up my pace.

Along this street, there are a few stalls scattered around. They all longed for someone to come up and ask and do some business. Crossing such a street requires the most orthodox insensitivity to walk smoothly. Their gaze is not worship, but the act of plundering and dismantling the defenses of the heart.

I felt thirsty and tired. But I'd rather hold back this momentum and walk over quickly.

I soberly chose to turn left and turned onto a Champs-boulevard.

The French plane trees were forced to survive and leaned against each other on the street, covering the entire road. The luxury stores on both sides are lined upright, with different styles and flamboyance. The new products displayed in the window are more and more attractive when worn on faceless models, attracting the eyes and saying three, six, nine and so on.

The sales consultant inside is not like the vendor on the street next to it. Neither the presence nor the presence of anyone can shake the integrity of the limb.

I'm still on my own. Unexpectedly, I arrived in less than 10 minutes.

This advertising company hidden in the shops has a very good signboard. Downstairs is a café. If you can choose a company to settle in a café, the age of the owner must not be too old, around the 80s.

A modern café, a place for public conversation in disguise. Drinking it is as light as water, and it is not as delicious as the storm in my heart. The woman sitting in the corner by the window was holding a book whose name she couldn't read. The long hair of the shawl is scattered, and the side facing the window is easily pulled behind the ear, and the side face is comfortable. She placed the book on a throw pillow, which was sandwiched between her upturned legs and the table. The small corners are stuffed to be full and not empty, and the scenery is independent and self-contained.

I was still enjoying the scenery when my phone rang in my bag. Maybe it was because he had been delayed on the road for too long, and the emperor was in a hurry. I lifted my foot and took a step towards the elevator in the hall.

"Annan, go home."

"Daddy...... Let's go. "It's a mother's voice.

Death, a trivial matter that can be broadcast at any time. It imprisoned me, pulled me away, and left an empty shell that was not me.

My father's departure was the first time I faced death. Not easy, not tired. Watching emotions fight, not exciting, not boring. All of a sudden, a lifetime of fear and nostalgia. Those grievances against his father can't be exchanged for his resurrection, and it's not worth it.

The tickets to go home were all bought for me by Xun'an, and I lost my mobility. He rushed to my dorm as soon as possible. He really knew me.

"Nannan, I'll take you home."

I finally cried. I hugged Xun'an, so hard that I almost broke his body, and I wanted to stuff it in.

"South-South ......" my father's voice began to circulate.

Xun An stretched out all his strength, but he still couldn't beat my hysteria. His body became soft, so soft that my temper was released, and I became limp.

He rested his chin on my head and told me that the sky hadn't fallen yet. The warm and powerful embrace made me fall asleep and wander in the eternal memory of my father. When I dream, I know I'm dreaming. Except for the sound and smile, there is no reality that the skin can perceive. I don't feel cold when I play with water, I don't feel hot when I play with fire, I don't feel my feet when I run on the gravel road, I don't smell the aroma when I pick a bouquet, my tongue is still bitter when I eat sugar, and there is no carbon dioxide to blow my trachea after drinking soda. And the father, is a distorted human stand.

The difference between open and closed eyes is that I have double vision in my vision when I open my eyes. The two pictures can't distinguish between the main and the secondary, and they don't match at all. Seeing them overlap and mess up, I might as well close my eyes there.

I took a trip to the memory express. The scenery outside the car window has become a memory.

As soon as I woke up again, I was home.

I was almost carried all the way home by Xun'an. Of course, it's not really the whole person lying on his back, his feet off the ground, completely powerless. I just grabbed his right arm and climbed up his shoulder. I put my arms around him and completely forgot that he was my brother. I thought, I just need a feeling of having someone around me. Even if it was a stranger, I would be desperate to get his life on the line.

For the first time, someone else appeared in the house. Dead, but more lively than when they were alive.

Everyone stood in a group, huddled in their parents' bedroom. As soon as I entered the room, it was full of human smells. All fingers and feet, gossip. The room is brightly lit and the colors are bright and full.

My eyes were stung by the incandescent light, and I lowered my eyes, grabbed Xun'an's hand, and pushed it in angrily. Finally transitioned to the bedside.

What caught my eye was a picture of death.

I held back my emotions and stared at my father's body. He lay neatly on the side of the bed, his fists deliberately pressed against his side. Clean, blood-free face, wrinkles and beards. A position hair, there is no white silk yet. He was wearing the same polo shirt that my mother and I picked out when the family went out together, with a straight collar around his neck and buttons pinned into the buttonholes. Wearing five-point pants underneath, I may not have had time to change into trousers for him. The exposed calves are strong and strong, and the muscle lines on them are still faintly visible. My father's hair was deep and naturally curled, and he looked very unenergetic.

The stillness of a deep sleep.

My hands were cold and sweaty, like frozen glue, and they had lost their adhesive strength. I let go of my hand and walked straight to my mother.

The mother knelt beside the father. Legs pressed together to one side, leaning against the edge of the bed with no strength. His right hand hangs down in front of him, and his left arm hangs down on the edge of the bed. Loose hair, showing signs of painful struggle. She kept her head down, not even noticing that Xun An and I had returned.

I knelt down in front of my mother and stretched out my hand to touch. Grabbing a lifeless hand, looking at the haggard face covered with tears, his knees propped up his thighs and hugging her, he couldn't hold back his cries anymore.

Crying, the most useless and disgusting emotional catharsis.

My mother hugged me back, and her hoarse guttural voice sobbed comfortingly, "Mom...... I'm sorry you guys...... Mom...... I will always be with you......" Her weak shoulders supported my hundred-pound head.

I looked at the family portrait on the bedside table, the wooden frame gnawed away by the microscopic creatures that built the nest, and the superplastic film on the photograph bubbled inward from the edges. The person in the photo, with a missing arm and a broken leg, is smiling profusely. Black and white photo, we sit upright. Picture-in-picture, all holding the same colorful family photo.

Cracks appeared in the white wall behind me, and I looked like I was amusing my grief.

Everything became unpredictable and drove my mind crazy. I couldn't resist this upheaval, and I cried and fainted on my mother.

Wandering in the dream, the situation began to overlap and blend, and the truth could no longer be restored.

I sat behind my father's car with my little arms around my father's waist for fear of falling out of the car. I chatted with him for a while, and my father hummed his favorite tune. He drove me up the mountains, down the long slopes, over stone bridges, and through the fields. My arms began to lengthen, but they still couldn't wrap around my father's growing waist. I stuck my fingers into the folded flesh and pressed my face against my sweaty back. I learned the songs my father loved to hum, the old-school millennial youth.

My little foot got into the wheel and rolled in a circle, but I didn't feel any pain. The car started moving backwards, and my wrapped leg was back to its original shape. I straightened my leg and noticed that it had grown past the front of the car, pointing into the distance where I couldn't see clearly. I put my other leg into the wheel as well, and the car went back and I straightened my leg again. But the legs were not the same length, so I repeated the steps. The legs are being moved towards a more ambiguous future.

The wheel crushed against a boulder and I was thrown under the wheel. It kept falling and fell into the dark space of the earth. I couldn't see the white light when I looked up, and there was no father or car beside me, but I wasn't afraid. I spread my arms and continued to fall, flying slowly in a gentle manner, and I fell to a piece of grass. I lay down and didn't want to move, even though I saw my mother and my eldest brother and Xun'an on a picnic not far away. I plucked a stick of grass and tried to put it in my mouth, but it didn't taste good. I plucked it again and stuffed it into my mouth like a cat eating grass. I rolled up, in their direction, but farther and farther away from them. I saw Xun An running towards me, his hand was in front of my eyes, but I couldn't grasp it.

I rolled to the edge of a pond. I lay peacefully on the narrow embankment, so narrow that I would fall into the water if I turned around slightly.

Tense nerves, numb body. I watched as people kept passing by on the other side, but they couldn't see me. The dragon boat was sunbathed in the pond, shouting the trumpet, and the posture was neat and consistent.

I thought that if I got into the water, I would be able to make a splash and attract people to save me. So I decided to take the plunge and plunge into the pool. Foamy water with amazing buoyancy. I floated on the surface of the water, and I couldn't make a splash with all my might. I figured that way, maybe I could knock over a certain ship.

There are a lot of water chestnuts and lotus pods on the water surface. I sat up, plucked the fruits one by one, and placed them beside me. But as soon as they were put down, the foam turned into water again, and they all sank. I could only pick and eat until my stomach stood up like a ball, and I felt sick to my stomach.

But I kept putting it in my mouth. I also took a bite of the foam box under my butt, and all of a sudden, I threw up.

I woke up.