"It's horrible!" Avi sighed.

I made an appointment to find an an, and although the old man's words were sincere, there were still many things I didn't understand.

Except for necessary family gatherings, we did not meet him in private. I was so frightened by the terrible conjecture in my heart that I didn't dare to see him, in fact, I hadn't looked at myself for a long time, and I was even more afraid of facing the fierce ghost in my heart.

When I called Xiya, she immediately understood what I was trying to say. Although I slurred my words, I told one thing in a scattered way, and I also talked about the messy things when I was a child. When I said it, I wondered if those things had really happened, because I felt that they were so far away from me, not because of the unclear memories caused by more than ten years, but because even the protagonist had changed and acted as a stranger. But she listened patiently, and only said at the end, "I understand what you mean." ”

"Did you already know?"

She told me not to be afraid, calling it a normal relationship, just like a "mother-lover", except that he hadn't found someone to replace me.

"But if you really don't feel comfortable, it's okay to separate." She said that she was cautious when she said "separation", as if it could lead to some huge consequences.

"But is it possible that this 'love...' is mutual?"

It took a long time for Xiya to answer this time, and the process of waiting for her made me sigh and regret in my heart, and maybe the wrong idea that could be erased after a while of separation became complicated by my question.

"Yes."

That is, probably not.

We made an appointment to meet at a flower shop near the company because I wanted to meet my grandmother.

Maybe she doesn't know the language of flowers, but every woman will be happy when she receives them. When I asked the clerk what flowers to choose for the elderly, she recommended me a bunch of flowers that symbolize "longevity".

I don't think I'm going to wish them a long life, and it's not a formalism that I can show my heart by sending a bouquet of flowers. But I couldn't think of what kind of blessing I was going to give them, and the clerk probably saw too many customers like me, and realized that no matter how enthusiastic the recommendation was, it was boring to be self-inflicted, so he took the watering can and poured water on it, and let me think slowly.

"What is the meaning of happiness?"

It was his voice, and I don't know when he appeared, and I was a little ashamed to think about it. I quickly collected my emotions, but it was still really hard to deal with it naturally when I saw him again after so long.

"You're here."

The clerk suddenly became energetic, she quickly put down the watering can, wiped her hand on the apron, and then greeted it with a smile. I bet she wasn't so eager to see her other partner.

"There are a lot of flowers that are 'happy', and I can introduce them to you one by one."

Xun An raised his hand and motioned to me to follow the clerk, and he didn't care about the rest.

"It doesn't have to be that complicated." I don't think she'll be happy to introduce me one by one, so I'll find a staircase for both parties.

"You can help us pick it, how to look good and how to match."

The clerk wasn't very old, and looked a few years younger than us. She nodded reluctantly, and then began to pick among the flowers, which looked more youthful than the bones of the flowers with dewdrops.

"You came early, I thought you'd be busy." I approached Xun'an, my hands cluttering together.

"It's okay if you're late."

"I don't want to be late."

Our unanimous voice immediately relaxed me a lot, and I smiled at him, "We still have such a tacit understanding." "In addition to tacit understanding, I can't find a word that is more appropriate and does not cross the line.

He also smiled, "It's not easy to see you laugh." ”

I was embarrassed again, and the conversation couldn't go on, so I had to turn around and go to the clerk. She had found all the flowers she needed and was trimming and bundling them on the workbench. I obviously didn't understand anything, but I still had to hold on to talking to her without a word. I used my spare light to keep an eye on Xun'an's movements, but he stood still and didn't know where he was looking.

"It's wrapped."

"So fast." I subconsciously replied.

The clerk looked at me in astonishment, "I'm going to eat this bowl of rice, it's not going to be fast." ”

I said "thank you" to her several times in a row, and the words revealed the hope that she would be able to talk to me for a few more words. But the next guest came in immediately, and I walked to Xun'an with the flowers in my arms.

"Take my car."

I nodded.

Xun An learned to drive again, remembering the last time he went to the beach, he drove a speedboat, driving should be as easy as walking for him.

"By the way, how did you find them?"

I'm afraid he won't immediately understand the identity of the protagonist in my sudden question, "It's grandparents." ”

"Is it hard? Just ask someone in the village and you'll know. ”

"But ......"

There was also a twist, and I hurriedly turned my head to stare at him and talk.

"I'm looking for it."

I nodded in realization. Leaving the Public Security Bureau, it was easy for him to find someone. But I don't understand why Xun An bothered to ask Liran since he said that he would know if he just asked a villager. I don't remember that they had any contact in private, and even if he didn't hate Liran, he would take the initiative to associate with him?

Although Xun An focused on driving, he still felt my doubts.

"After the last time I was released from prison, I still have some contact with him."

The scenery outside the window quickly changed from a regular city to a chaotic village, and I finally got used to the atmosphere with Xun'an again. He's the same, he still looks more energetic than most of his peers, and that's what I like.

"What was I thinking!" I kept fluttering with my hands as if I had a swarm of flies flying in front of me.

Xun'an stopped the car urgently, "What's wrong?" ”

He was so close to me that I felt like I was going to suffocate. I wouldn't have felt this way before, no matter how close I was, but now I'm so empty-hearted...... I hurriedly pushed him away and explained that I just didn't understand some of the problems in the lawsuit.

"You still haven't changed at all." Xun An restarted, and I could hear the banter in his words.

"How much can it change? It's only two or three years. "I muttered like a kid who made a mistake and got caught.

"Really?"

"How do I feel like it's been a long time."

I didn't dare to look at him when he said this, but stared at a cow outside the window. It bathes in the pond and rubs its back with its tail as a towel.

I remembered that my purpose in looking for him was never to let him be a driver to take me to my grandfather's house. So he sat upright, looked back and went over the questions he wanted to ask.

"When did you find out about these things? Is there tangible evidence to prove it? Except for those stories that grandpa told. ”

"I know you must have a ton of questions to ask."

"Don't worry, I'll tell you everything you want to know." He has a really good driving habit and always looks ahead, which makes me feel at ease.

It turned out that he had already found out. When I went to find a bodyguard in a different place with a brain fever, he went home and witnessed a tragedy in the secret room that I had never entered once. He said that everything was his own speculation, but he was sure enough to prove the accuracy of his speculation.

"What is the situation really like? Can't you just make it clearer? ”

"I'm afraid you won't be able to accept it." It's hard to hesitate to find peace.

"You'll know one day, but I don't want to tell you face-to-face like that."

He hasn't changed, really hasn't changed at all. His words will always warm my heart, and I feel that I can no longer ask him with the aggressive tone of a trial. I don't want to annoy him.

"You found out then, why did you decide to ...... now? Got to this point. "I don't know how to describe the situation, and it's a situation that has to be handled by my hands.

"And why does it have to be me?" That's what I want to know most. He must have considered my difficulty, but he chose me anyway. I've been with him for so many years, but I've been a little rusty lately, and it's not so much that I can't understand it at all......

"It's best for you to put an end to this."

"Why?"

"You're a competent lawyer and the only daughter that Dad loves the most."

The car drove up a long slope, and I felt like I was flying up the air because of my inertia, "But even if everything you say is true, I still have to worry about my mother's feelings." "This is the biggest reason why I can't be ruthless, and secondly, I also doubt that with my eldest brother's own conditions, how can he complete this series of actions that normal people may not be able to complete?

"She's not to blame."

It means that the mother did not report it or she was an accomplice, in short, it had nothing to do with the father's death. I couldn't imagine that my gentle mother could be stained with blood, and with the same hands that had combed my hair. Or did she smile contentedly as she watched her father die, or was she just as worried as we were, but she couldn't stop it?

It is also possible that when she came home from grocery shopping, she found her father lying on the ground and her eldest brother kneeling and trembling. But she didn't say that to the police, she was obviously at home at the time. The mother lied.

"Then how do you explain Big Brother's behavior?" It didn't take long for the flat ground to go downhill again, and I could clearly feel the safety belt working to protect me.

"He's totally capable of killing."

"But he ......"

"He's not stupid." Xun An immediately interrupted me.

But he pretended to be stupid, and he pretended to be more than 20 years. I hope Xun An doesn't tell me that he is playing stupid so that he can kill his father one day.

"It really helps him avoid suspicion."

The topic went on so that I couldn't ask any more questions, and every word that came out of Xun'an's mouth convinced me, which was a habit I developed since childhood. With the story told by my grandfather, I can roughly sort out the cause and effect.

The eldest brother was born to his mother and the man who eloped with him back then, and this unblessed relationship finally failed to withstand the devastation of life. When the mother finds out that she is pregnant, the man can only earn money to feed the mother by working day and night. They are foreigners, and they are not recognized by the locals, and people often come to their homes to make trouble for them. Most of the time, my mother was just at home alone, and when someone came to find trouble, she couldn't stop it, and the house was often turned into a mess. The man endured it at first, and then cleaned up the house after returning home to take care of his mother, and over time, his body became thinner and thinner, and his temperament gradually became impatient.

One day, the bullies who had nothing to do with it came again. The mother's belly was getting bigger and bigger, and she couldn't resist their recklessness, so she could only watch them take away the unfinished supplements.

The man didn't want to put up with it anymore and wanted to report these crimes to the police. But the mother stopped them, saying that it was inconvenient for outsiders to know about their affairs.

My grandparents didn't know where they learned about them, so they came to the door in person. They understood that it was useless to run away in their own situation, so they honestly went home. But they were forcibly separated, the mother lived in a house in the country, and the man had to stay in the city.

Not long after her mother lived in the countryside, she gave birth, and her eldest brother was born. At this time, the father also appeared. In fact, since his mother came to the country, his father began to appear in his mother's life, and after he finished his own farm work, he would go to his mother's side to work. After going back and forth, the two became acquainted. His mother knew what he was thinking, and told his father at the beginning that he would not be with him, but his father insisted.

My grandmother and grandfather first took a fancy to my father, and even though he was poor, she didn't mind, perhaps because she felt that her mother was no longer qualified to pick and choose others. So they made the decision to let their father come into the fold. This is another turmoil, the grandparents did not agree with their only son to run to someone else's house to be a cow and a horse, and the other party also gave birth to an unidentified child. But his father loved his mother too much and decided that he had to live his life, so even if he didn't fully understand his mother's background, he still resolutely joined the family.

As for the mother, she cried and shouted that she didn't agree, and even fought with her life many times, but because the eldest brother was too young at the time, she couldn't bear to leave him alone. In the chaos of the situation, the man also got involved, he wanted to take his mother and eldest brother. Everyone in the village came to watch the play, and my grandparents felt that they had no face, so they threatened their mother to marry their father on the spot. The mother, who had never wavered, chose to agree at that time, no one knew what she was thinking, and the man didn't want to believe it. He thought that his mother was really empathetic and fell in love with his father, he thought that his mother had betrayed the alliance with him, and he even thought that his eldest brother was not his biological son, so he left without looking back and never appeared again. Later, someone sent news that he had committed suicide by lying on the rails.

"Why did you say my mother changed her mind at the last minute?"

Xun An didn't answer this time, it seems that there is something unspeakable. And I'm still hesitating whether I should take on this case or not.

I started to get dizzy and panicked, and I don't know if it was because the car was going back and forth around the hill, or because of the recent series of events that I couldn't digest. Xun An lowered the speed of the car and helped me open the window.

"Isn't it yet?"

"Come on, you hold on a little longer."

I turned my attention to this mountain, it is not very high, but the way up the mountain is only this way, and there are no shortcuts. When I got to the heights, I saw a piece of Liaoyuan, and my house was faintly buried inside. I've never been on this mountain, and the scenery on the mountain is so good.

"I didn't expect us to be quite big."

"It's really fate that Dad can only take a scoop of my mother from this piece of sea." The beautiful scenery eased my discomfort and stimulated my feelings.

"Fate is also good and bad."

Xun'an's words made the scenery lose its color, and I didn't have time to complain before the car stopped.

"Here we are."