My eldest brother was sentenced to life imprisonment, my mother decided to move back to the city to live with my grandmother, and Xun'an and I went home to help pack our things. The building blocks put together by the eldest brother are still standing intact on the coffee table, and the mother is not ready to take them away.

After the results came down, my mother stopped complaining, she didn't tell me what was in my heart, but even if she had a problem, I wouldn't take it to heart, not because I made the right decision, but because the story had a relatively normal outcome.

While packing up, my mother stayed in the secret room for a long time. Xun An said that I should go in and take a look now, so when my mother came out, I applied to her, and her eyes knew that she had cried, but I didn't feel sad about it at all, just a little missed her first smile. My mother didn't refuse, and I stepped into this room for the first time at the last minute of the story.

When Xun An told me about it, I could roughly imagine what it looked like, and it turned out that his description was realistic enough that it was almost the same as I imagined. I didn't close the door, let the only light accompany me inside, and I saw a picture of the man. The people outside were still busy, and the sound of things colliding and stuffing into the carton was clearly visible, and it didn't take long to hear the tape "hissing", as if it was counting down. Incense was placed in the room, and although the air that had been shut down for a long time could no longer have energy to circulate, the fragrance was still energetic. Maybe everyone who comes in will try to sit facing the altar for a while, and I am no exception, this is the most comfortable way to feel this room, to forget the tension of resonating with the dead, I think. But not all the people sitting in this position are thinking about the man in the photo, except for my mother and eldest brother, and Xun An and I are not. I'm not sure who he's thinking, but I'm thinking about everyone in the family, including grandparents, and grandparents who have never met. I'm not in the habit of staring at pictures of dead people, and I haven't seen my father's posthumous photos a few times, but I'm going to take a closer look at this man.

He is indeed very similar to his eldest brother, which Xun An mentioned, but he also has a certain resemblance to his mother, which is more attractive to me.

His face is definitely the kind that makes people feel comfortable, and even makes people who meet him for the first time have great trust and dependence on him. No wonder the mother was able to survive so long on it, and her spiritual conviction is preserved through this photograph. And in the photo he is smiling, I swear I am not mistaken, maybe when this photo was taken, he did not think of death, and I judged the portrait of him and his mother by this smile.

Other than that, there was nothing special, I felt like I had seen enough and was ready to go out. The outside was cleaned up, the whole house was emptied except this one, and my mother came in just as I got up.

"That's all there is to it." She walked straight to the tablet.

I took it off the table, and my mother told me to give it as if I had been robbed of it, perhaps because my father had fallen and left her in the shadow. When I gave the tablet to my mother, I accidentally glanced at the words on it, and when I came in, I looked at the picture attentively, not paying attention to what this person's name was. Traditional Chinese characters and sentence structure are also awkward, so I didn't understand it at first.

"Brother ......"

Chen ...... Wen Jun: "I read it silently.

Her mother's name is Chen Wenyi.

"You know all of this?"

I'm used to asking for confirmation of everything, even when everything is clearly on the table. Thinking of me and Xun'an, the story of my mother and that man made me hate myself a lot. I hate that I feel like I'm following in the footsteps of others. That's probably why she finally changed her mind to marry her dad, I guess. This relationship should not exist at all, but they dare to let it take root and spread out.

After sending my mother away, my elderly grandparents almost didn't recognize her, but they immediately hugged and cried again, I can't see this kind of reconciliation, maybe only relatives will blindly seek perfection without principle. I was ashamed, because I was very jealous when I met my grandparents for the first time, and I looked around when they were crying, and they were all the same when they were old, but I was glad that my grandparents were very different in appearance, and I was really relieved. But the memories and associations were still there, and I endured the discomfort churning in my body, and when my mother had settled down, I left in a hurry, even forgetting to visit the place where they lived.

When I walked to the entrance, I would pass by a wall with many pictures hanging on it, and I saw him again, holding a science certificate in his hand, and the person next to him who presented him with the award was also a little familiar.

Xun'an took me to sit by the river, he said that water can calm people's hearts, I can't understand it, obviously it moves more than my heart. What's the use of being calm on the surface, the inside has been turned upside down by all kinds of unknown creatures. Moreover, its surface is not still, and the ripples are like waves.

Neither of us spoke, and our backs may have been unintentionally depressed. At night, there are more people walking along the river, and each one is as lively as possible, and it is dark and does not slack off.

It wasn't until the water was darker than the sky that I was the first to speak, "You're right, water can really calm people." "It took two or three hours, but I finally absorbed all my depression, anger and grievances.

"Annan, what kind of people do you hate the most?"

"I don't like people."

"Do you know which one I hate the most?" Xun An asked again.

He had never talked to me on a human subject, and it made me feel uneasy to ask such a matter-of-purpose question.

"Escaped."

It was getting harder and harder for me to look directly at Xun'an, and his eyes were really fascinating, "We're all too greedy." ”

People around are running away. Some ran away from the beginning, some struggled and then fled, and now who is still fighting against fate to the end? A lot of times I don't even want to face it. As soon as there is a wind and grass, I am afraid that I will not be able to avoid it.

"I'm leaving."

Xun An said that he wanted to go abroad to study dance, of course, further study is not the goal, escape is. There has to be someone between us who is a little bit farther away for both of us to fit into the world. In an instant, the song ended.

"What looted us?" Of course, I am reluctant to give up in my heart, and being able to see the side of seeking peace, even if I don't say a word, is my only satisfaction. Of course, you can also get it by helping people win lawsuits, but these two kinds of satisfaction are not the same, if you want to compare the high, of course, the former is higher.

My grandparents lost their sons and daughters, my mother lost the man, my eldest brother lost my father, my grandparents lost my son, we lost our father, my grandfather lost my grandmother, my mother and my eldest brother lost each other, and I lost my peace......

Will Xun'an lose me?

"The world has survived by deprivation." Xun'an really understands me.

I've decided I don't want this world anyway.

I like the way the riverside looks at night in good weather, and I like to use other people's joy as background music to play my idleness, which is boring and exciting.

"Finding peace." I decided to look at him.

"Huh?" He looked at me too.

"You must like someone else in front of me!" What a broken convention this is.

Looking for peace, he said he tried his best. I don't like him to say perfunctory things, but when I think about it, I can't even say his "try to". I deserve to end up like this.

"When are you leaving?"

"Don't worry, I won't let you know when the time comes."

I couldn't hold back any longer, hugged Xun'an and cried, crying hoarsely. The people around me looked at me, or couldn't bear to pay attention to me. Xun'an hugged him tightly, but I was still sad. I cried and shouted, "What to do? The water level is going up again, but I just can't stop it! "It's so miserable, my tears will turn into water vapor, they will all condense into raindrops and fall, and the world is about to be drowned in our sorrows.

Being able to cry is my greatest skill, I think.

"Annan, do you think it's a pity?" Xun'an asked me at this time, which was really disappointing.

I lifted my salty face, "Isn't there anything that doesn't make people feel pity?" ”

"You'd better keep crying." Xun'an covered my head, his arms were so fragrant.