The ideal is beautiful, but the reality is always skinny and maddening.

Originally, Xu Jiaren, who imagined that he could go to the pinnacle of life by living again, made his son a little desperate.

Since the last time he drank the paper ash water of the old man, Xu Jiaren no longer dared to show "sensible".

For example, last time, she instinctively wanted to tie her own shoelaces, but she deliberately tied a dead knot in Aunt Zhao's frightened eyes.

Only then did grandma's frightened and nervous eyes return to normal.

For example, she wanted to go around the streets and see what the town of the 80s was like in her memory, but she didn't even have a chance to go out alone.

If she wants to go out, Aunt Zhao will definitely follow, and the range of shopping is on the street she is familiar with, and it is only a few hundred meters from the street to the end of the street.

Xu Jiaren wanted to go to a farther place, such as the ancient building in the city center before, but Aunt Zhao resolutely disagreed.

She couldn't say she was going by herself, so she had to give up.

It's good to live again, but it's not good to live again at the age of 4.

Could it be that from now until she can act on her own, she can only be a child who needs help to eat and go to the toilet?

"Grandma, I want to go down and play with the children for a while."

Xu Jiaren was extremely bored, and dragged her grandmother, who was sitting in front of the sewing machine knitting sweaters, and said tentatively.

Aunt Zhao glanced at the weather outside and put down the sweater needle: "The weather is very good, it's good to go out and bask in the sun." ”

Xu Jiaren actually wanted to say that she really didn't need to accompany her, but she was afraid that if she said this, if her grandmother gave her paper ash water again, she would really cry.

Helpless, she had to wait for her grandmother to pack up, take the little horse, and lead her out together.

The sun was extraordinarily strong, and it was brilliant enough to make Xu Jiaren's eyes narrow.

went downstairs, grandma took Xu Jiaren to the shade of the courtyard against the wall, and sat with a few old ladies in the yard.

"Yo, Aunt Zhao, didn't this girl go to kindergarten? Why are you at home now? ”

"If the child doesn't like kindergarten, I won't be willing to give it away."

Aunt Zhao said with a smile.

Several old ladies exchanged glances with each other, and someone said, "Aunt Zhao, how did you hear that this little girl in your family beat other people's children?" So fired? ”

"yes, I've heard that, too."

"This girl P is so powerful when she is older, and she will be terrible in the future."

"Aunt Zhao, you still send the child to her parents, otherwise you will definitely be blamed for not teaching well in the future."

Aunt Zhao blushed when she was said by a few old ladies, "The child is playing, and besides, she is so young and a girl, where can she beat people?" ”

"Aunt Zhao, what are you going to do? Wouldn't this kid stop going to kindergarten? The old lady asked.

Aunt Zhao said: "If you don't go to kindergarten, don't go, I have time to take her anyway." It would be nice to go to elementary school in the future. ”

"It's not easy to go to elementary school. What good elementary school can she go to? ”

"That's right, her parents are like that in this situation...... Which elementary school wants to take her? ”

"Tsk, look at this girl's temperament, I'm afraid it won't be easy to marry in the future......"

The more the old ladies talked, the more unkind they became, Aunt Zhao got angry, put away the little maza, and pulled up the granddaughter next to her: "Yadan, let's go home, grandma will make you tomato sauce to eat." ”

"Aunt Zhao, do you want to make sauce? Can you give me a bottle? ”

"Shall I go to your house at night to get it?"

Xu Jiaren and her grandmother both walked to the staircase, and the old lady behind them was still shouting at the top of her voice.

Within ten minutes of going out, Xu Jiaren and her grandmother returned to the cramped room.

As soon as she entered the house, her grandmother, who had been tense, lost control of her emotions, she sat on the edge of the bed angrily, wiped her tears and said: "These people just look down on us!" ”

"Grandma—"

Xu Jiaren raised her little hand and wiped her grandmother's cheeks distressedly.

She wanted to scold those old ladies just now, but she was afraid that she was really going to scold, which would make her grandmother worry again.

The last time she drank that paper ash water, her throat and eyes were uncomfortable for days.

"Yadan, I've really wronged you."

Aunt Zhao's rough hand touched her granddaughter's forehead, and sighed: "It's all to blame for our poor family......"

"Grandma, don't be sad." Xu Jiaren said comfortingly.

The conditions at home have not been very good, which Xu Jiaren knows very well.

This continued until she was in junior high school, and it did not improve slightly.

It's a pity that the good times didn't last long, in the second year of junior high school, my father went to prison for deliberately hurting people, and since then, the family has been getting worse, and because he has been tortured by poverty, Xu Jiaren has always had low self-esteem, which led to the tragedy later.

"I'm going to buy some tomatoes, you'll sleep at home, you know?" After Aunt Zhao wiped her tears for a while, she collected her emotions and prepared to go out with a cloth bag.

Xu Jiaren grabbed her grandmother and said sensibly: "Grandma, I don't eat tomato sauce anymore, don't go out." ”

Aunt Zhao saw that the child was so sensible, her heart warmed, and she said: "Those grandmothers still have to come to get it at night, if I don't do it, won't I offend others?" People have to talk about it, you know? ”

As soon as she mentioned the old woman Xu Jiaren just now, her stomach was on fire, and she pouted and said, "Grandma, they said that I made you cry, why do you still give them things?" ”

"Silly boy, there are only two of us in our family, if something really happens, who can we find? You still have to rely on the people in the yard? Just say a few words, it's okay. ”

Aunt Zhao hid the sourness and bitterness in her eyes, touched Xu Jiaren's little head and said: "There are some things that you will understand when you grow up, where can people live in the world without being wronged?" Okay, you go to bed obediently, and grandma will be back later. ”

Xu Jiaren didn't dare to argue more, so she had to lie down quietly on the bed made of wooden planks.

She was born again, but now she can't do anything.

If she had been restricted by age, she and her grandmother would have to struggle in poverty for a long time.

So what is the meaning of her rebirth?

Xu Jiaren looked at the narrow room and the broken furniture, and was anxious.

Rub Rub Rub - Woo Woo -

Suddenly there was the sound of a dog barking at the doorway, and the sound of paws scraping against the wooden door.

Xu Jiaren turned over and ignored it.

The place where she and her grandmother live is a tube building, the toilet is shared, and the cooking is in the corridor.

Therefore, the environment here is also very bad, there are always rats running around in the corridor, and it is common for stray dogs to run in.

She is now thinking about the major events in her life, where will she pay attention to stray dogs?

Wangwangwws—

Rub - cluck -

The movement at the door became louder and louder, and Xu Jiaren was so noisy that she couldn't calm down at all.

She had no choice but to get up and go down to the ground to open the door and chase the dog.

However, when he arrived at the door, Xu Jia found that the door was locked by his grandmother.

"Don't make any noise! Quarrel again and I'll eat you! Xu Jiaren shouted impatiently at the door.

This voice went out, and the door instantly fell silent.

Xu Jiaren was quite satisfied with her badness and was about to continue to go back to bed to think about life, but when she turned around, she found that there was an extra white ...... on the ground