(a)

Ya remembers that one noon, she was measuring products in the office, and Ah Wei, the foreman of the mold room, came in and asked Ya: "Have you written the seven-law poem for me?" ”

"You write me a song first, and I'll write it to you." Ya smiled back, thinking to herself: Seeing that Ah Wei is chubby, dealing with drawings and machines all day long, he actually thinks about writing poems, and asks her to write a seven-law poem for him. 

"Ah Wei, like you, writes well and writes well." Supervisor Da Li said. 

Ya has written several work reports, and Ah Wei said to Ya that he wanted to learn to write with her, saying that she wrote more manly than men, and he had never seen a woman write so vigorously and powerfully, and the dragon flew and the phoenix danced. 

The director said that Ah Weiwen was good, Ya only knew that every time he went to the mold room to cut samples, Ah Wei shook his head at Ya, and said in a long tone: "Ask what the world is like, and teach people to live and die." Ya couldn't help but laugh, and wanted to say, "You won't say something else?" "I didn't say anything. 

"Alas! It's boring to go to work every day, and if I hadn't gone back every day to drink some wine and read some poetry, I wouldn't have found the joy of life. Ah Wei had a pained expression. 

"In the evening, we also go to KTV to sing and drink." The supervisor said to Ah Wei. 

"Aya, let's go together at night!" The director said to Ya. 

"Oh, no, I haven't sung in years, I can't sing." 

Many years ago, Ya also often went to the song hall to sing, and after a song, applause erupted. I haven't sung for so many years, and my voice seems to be rusty, and I can't breathe. 

"Aya is not only good at handwriting, but also good at writing, I have seen what Aya wrote, it is really good." Said the director. 

"What? You've seen what I wrote?! Ya asked in surprise, a throbbing that swept through her heart. 

"I don't believe it, you bluffed me, I blocked you all, how could you possibly see what I wrote?" 

"I can't block it, why are you even blocking me?" The Director shook his head, feigning grief. 

"I've blocked all the people in reality, and my circle of friends is only open to literary friends and friends." 

"Pull me into your group, and I'll play in the group." Ah Wei looked at Ya with expectation in his eyes. 

"My group is full of literary friends who have never met, and I don't pull real people." Ya shook her head and said. 

"What's that? You just think I'm your literary friend, not a person in reality. Ah Wei said lightly. 

"No, I don't pull real people." Ya shook her head firmly. 

"Mr. Li, you must be bluffing me, you can't see what I wrote. ”

"What are you lying to? I'll send it to you. "The supervisor, Da Li, sent a link to Ya. 

Ya saw that it was really one of her poems. 

"Pour the spirits of time, taste the mellowness of the years." Da Li closed his eyes and opened his arms to read Ya's poems in an intoxicated manner, his voice subdued and frustrated and magnetic. 

"Ah, Mr. Li, your voice is comparable to that of the host on the radio!" Ya said with a thumbs up to him. 

"It's far away, it's far away", Da Li shook his head and waved his hand, looking modest and low-key. 

"Alas, I blocked everyone in reality, why can you see my circle of friends?" Ya still said to Da Li in a tangled manner. 

"What's this? If you see it, you see it. Da Li said disappreciatively. 

Alas, where did he know the knot of Ya's heart. 

After eating in the cafeteria at noon, Ya rode home to rest with a heavy heart. 

Why can the supervisor Da Li see his circle of friends? I was obviously shielding him, Ya was in a heavy mood, and the dark clouds in the sky hung low to the emptiness of his heart. 

Some literary friends said that Ya's special topic "Xiao Feng Xiao Shiwen" has a good number of subscriptions on the platform, and a certain number of literary friends have gathered to often contribute to her topic, and there are constantly literary friends who want to join the team of topic administrators. However, the number of followers and followers on Ya's homepage has hardly changed, although the number of followers has increased every day. Because her number of followers has already reached the maximum limit of 2000, she can't follow anyone. 

Ya's personal anthology "Xiao Feng Xiao Poetry Anthology" has been read by hundreds of thousands, and she doesn't know who is reading her anthology. Ya noticed that for a few days, she added more than a thousand readings per day on average, you know, she is not a premium member, and she will not increase so many readings out of thin air. 

In addition to the acquaintances of the literary friends and the group who know that Ya is a woman, there are many literary friends who think that Ya is a man, and they call her "Brother Xiao", "Shaoxia" and "Daxia", all because her words reveal a heroic atmosphere. Some literary friends said that her poems are "full of the cool air of alpine snow", giving people a "atmospheric" feeling. 

Just like Ya's writing, if you haven't seen me, you must think it's from a man's hand. There is such a saying, "words are like their people", "words are like their people", Ya doesn't know why she gives people a sense of masculinity, in fact, my appearance, as relatives and friends said, "At first glance, it is weak and deceivable". may be a natural stubborn character, especially since he was a child, he likes to read the biographies of heroes, and every time he reads it, he is full of enthusiasm and has the ambition of "doing something in this life and leaving a name in history". This ambition has taken root since she was a child, but she can only bury it deep in her heart, and she dare not reveal it, for fear that people will ridicule her for arrogance. 

When I was a student, I was a class cadre, and every day after school, my classmates hurriedly went home, and Ya was alone to wipe the table and sweep the floor and tidy the tables and chairs. In order for their class to be rated as an advanced health model class, Ya did not hesitate to tidy up the classroom by herself. If it is over the years, there is no complaint or regret, no one knows, and Ya does not want to make a noise, because Lei Feng is a good deed without leaving a name, he is also a hero in Ya's heart, and he is an example for her to learn. 

There may be many literary friends who know the name Xiao Fengxiao, but her relatives and friends don't know it. They only know Yawen and love to write. Ya has been deliberately hiding her pseudonym from them, hiding what she writes. 

Ya also participated in essay competitions on some platforms, and when promoting her works, some literary friends were able to attract a lot of relatives and friends to sponsor and support, but Ya did not have the support of anyone around her, because they didn't know who Xiao Fengxiao was. Ya also posted it in the group at most, and he didn't support it according to everyone's wishes, and he wouldn't deliberately ask for praise and support. 

Why did Ya deliberately hide her pen name and works? There are two main reasons for this:

First, because she sometimes writes about the people and things around her into the text, if she is negatively and critically seated by the people around her, she will not be a good person. They will resentfully her, and she will be too timid to see her. 

Second, because of the love poems written by Ya, I am afraid that people around me will guess blindly when they read it, after all, it is not twenty-eight years, and it is not the age of wanton accura to write about love. 

Ya's concept of love is different from many people, it is the perception and summary of Ya's emotional journey:

What is Love?

Love is a tenacious attachment

Love is an unattainable dream in a lifetime

Love is the embodiment of all good images

Love is the highest state of one's ideals

In the final analysis, love is the ideal self

You yearn for all the good things in the world

Love is a beautiful fairy

When you pursue your ideals

Love is a man who is peerless and heroic

The process of your painstaking pursuit of your ideals

It's the scorching longing and heart-rending lovesickness

Love is not limited to people of the opposite sex

Lovesickness can also be between women and women

Men and men can also disappear for a day

Love in reality

It's more about getting along with each other for a long time

If you look closely, it's actually friendship and family affection

True love is a dream that cannot be pursued in this life

For the rest of his life

Midnight dreams

It's still the same person back then

A literary friend of Ya left a comment after reading this poem: "My shortcoming is that I don't read much. Ya certainly understood what he meant, that is, she disagreed with hers, but she was reluctant to refute it directly. If Ya doesn't comment, people who don't know him think that he really has read less, and he won't agree with it at all. Ya felt that he was a proud person, although he often made a humble statement: "Learn from you, appreciate and praise", but his casual words revealed his conceit. Ya pondered again and again, and commented, "Friend, you are too humble." ”

If you ask Ya who her deep and sad love poems are written for, no one will believe who Ya refers to, and with Ya Suxi's solitary character, she will not have a close relationship with anyone. It's a fantasy, it has nothing to do with real people, depicting lost emotions, and pure friendship is the main theme. You say, in the poem, "apricot eyes and green shirt", "plain hands and slender fingers", "fall your autumn pupils", who would be such a lovely person? 

In order to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings, mainly the misunderstandings of the people around her, it is better for Ya to block them out of the circle of friends. In life, Ya also doesn't like to post anything about herself in the circle of friends. Occasionally post some texts in the circle of friends, and everyone encourages each other, isn't it pleasant? 

How did the supervisor Da Li see Yafa's words? IELTS thought about it for two days, and finally realized that it was the "take a look" function in WeChat. It is mainly an article on the WeChat public account that Ya has read, and after reading it, I clicked "watching" casually. 

The link sent by the supervisor to Ya is the text on Ya's WeChat public account, and the pen name is not Xiao Fengxiao. It seems that the word "watching" cannot be easily clicked. 

But is it okay not to order? Some more familiar literary friends sometimes send their WeChat public account articles to Ya privately, which means that Ya clicks on the word "watching", which really makes Ya a little embarrassed: not only her whereabouts are exposed, but also her literary friends. Since Ya has blocked the circle of friends, she hopes that her text and her literary friends have no contact with the people in her life. 

The word "watching" makes people happy and worried, how can you let the people around you not see "watching"? Later, Ya finally learned to turn off the word "watching".

(b)

Sometimes, when you have a lot of material, you can't write what you want

to the effect. The more satisfactory essays written by oneself are often written calmly, and then slowly considered the words and sentences, and slowly revised them.

When she was in high school, Ya and a girlfriend were in the same literary club, and her girlfriend's articles were often published. Her writing is short and concise, and her sentences are beautiful. She said that good articles are revised, and she always revises her articles repeatedly. Ya had to tear seven or eight pages to write an essay, and the teacher had to write a comment: "Writing an essay is not writing a novel!" Although some students said that Ya's composition can pick out a lot of sentences that look like poetry casually.

When I went to my girlfriend's house to play during the summer vacation, I saw that her bed was full of newspapers on the table, and she cut out a lot of articles and pasted them in the big homework book, and she had cut a thick stack. Ya also cut good articles, about two or three copies, but they were cut and left behind. Ya prefers to read large volumes of novels. When I was in junior high school, I had a very good girlfriend and Ya Ru Glue. She has a lot of books in her house, and that's her father's collection. Yain became a good friend of her, and in a few years of middle school, she almost finished reading her collection, and many of those books were foreign classics. At that time, Ya said to her more than once: It would be good if I didn't study mathematics, physics and chemistry, and if possible, I would like not go to school and bury myself in literature books all day long. To this day, Ya still thinks like this: If you can spend two years in your youth burying yourself in the pile of books and reading the books you want to read, you will have a very happy time in this life. However, the days do not go by according to our hearts, and we are stumbled by the days......

Years later, Ya came across an essay in the newspaper by her high school girlfriend. She still uses her real name, her writing is more beautiful and concise, and the feelings expressed in the text are gushing out like the day. It should be her call of love to the person she loves. Thinking of the way she was always silent in middle school, and her voice was low and soft, Ya couldn't help but laugh. She was shy to confess to him, but she boldly proclaimed her love to him with words. Ya then thought of her first love, that long-lasting crush......

At that time, I didn't dare to watch "Dream of Red Mansions", I didn't dare to listen to sad love songs, what is lovesickness devouring bones, what is the pain of lovesickness, and I tasted it carefully. At that time, I felt that the perfect life was a successful career and a happy love. But the career is already a great ambition and has no success in this life; Love is love but can't, and the person you like has no chance in this life...... All this hit Ya deeply, she could no longer taste the joy of life, and the gloom of late autumn deeply engulfed her......

Looking back today, Ya is thinking, if she also boldly showed her love with a pen like that girlfriend, what would be the end? The so-called crush is not a person's blind unrequited love. In fact, there is also a spiritual connection, so when I look back again and again, why don't I dare to face it? Because of that man, he felt an unprecedented inferiority complex in his heart. At that time, I had the opportunity to meet Yiren, why did I give Yi an arrogant back? There was a chance to meet Yi's eyes, but why did he tilt his head, his eyes turned to the side, and he didn't look at Yi?

In the years when I didn't have the opportunity to meet, I couldn't bear to ask for any news about the Yiren, and some just looked back again and again in my dreams. even refused to write Yi in words, but let Yi's shadow look back far away in his dream.

To this day, Yacai dares to use the pen to reminisce about the bitterness of lovesickness. It should be let go, it should be numb to pain, and there is no sensitivity to pain.

Ya finally understands that the Yiren is actually the ideal self, and the Yiren is the person she wanted to be. Because I can't reach it, I can't sleep, so I'm sad and painful. Therefore, when looking at love poems from now on, I no longer think that the poet is lovesick about specific people, it can be people, objects, ideals, and ideas......

People write essays, and many people are willing to share them with their relatives and friends. Especially when participating in an essay contest, many people hope that the people around them, or even the people around them, can vote. Ya is deeply taboo, and she doesn't even want people around her to see the text she writes. Write realistically, afraid that the people around you will sit down. Write love essays, for fear that people around you will criticize and laugh. Because of this, Ya's essays are written under a pen name, of course, the people around her don't know her pen name. Because of this, Ya set up the permission of the circle of friends, and her circle of friends are all literary friends.

Sometimes Ya thinks, if Yiren knew that her love poems were written about Yi, what would Yi think? Oh, is she really writing about the Yiren? She doesn't seem to have said a word to Yi, how much does she know about Yi? What are the Iraqi people like now? In the dream, Yi is still eighteen years old, if there is really a day to meet, will he be so strange that he wants to turn around and run away? Oh, she should not be writing about Yiren, but about her ideal self. She harbors a lost dream, and her frustration is to be vented through it. It's like fantasizing more than once that two armpits give birth to huge colored wings, fluttering their wings and galloping towards the colorful clouds......

Finally idle, Ya should have quickened the pace of code writing, but why can't his heart calm down? The code text is in a small website, but the article is usually written on another platform. There are a few people's texts that still draw their eyes on each day, but they don't interact with them. They are people who dare to speak out, although they appreciate their bold words, but they don't want to be part of their queue, for fear of accidentally getting angry, and they don't have their strong psychological capacity. I always come and go quietly, without leaving a word, without raising a finger.

Some literary friends said that the title of Ya's article is somewhat simple. Yes, the titles of her articles are often one or two words. Whether an article can be attractive or not, the title is very important. I saw that there were many articles with very eye-catching titles, and people couldn't help but click on them, only to find that "it was so", "but so", or alternative topics, which caused countless spit to splash, and even the writer was sprayed so that he could not see the figure. Ya also wants the text to be seen by more people, but she doesn't want to work the title, and always passes by with simple words. What's taboo? Maybe it's because I'm afraid that I'm standing alone in the stands, surrounded by the opinions of people who have gathered...... What does that feel like? It should be the panic of "sighing in the ocean", right?

Ya should have calmed down and concentrated on the code now, but she was panicked. It's been a few days since I've interacted with Wenyou, and they left a thumbs up for her text, but she hasn't liked it yet. It turned out that this restlessness stemmed from the fact that she owed Wenyou a favor.

Come and don't be rude, you have to pay back the praise of the literary friends quickly, otherwise the more you gather, the more you gather, and when you gather into a mountain, you will have no power to parry, and you can't afford to pay it back. So, in the past two days, Ya almost stopped writing and rushed back to praise with all her might. It is impossible to read the article carefully, and after a rough browsing, I liked it. Because I watched the dispute on the platform about the hollow praise energy like, I was afraid that I would complain about the hollow praise for Wenyou. What to do? Likes are added to the comments, and it is said that comments are equivalent to energy likes. Alas, I really don't understand: write an article, write an article, praise is praise, why should it be subdivided into Zhang San, Li Siwang and Ermazi, and pull out some twists and turns.

Fortunately, after finally replying to the praise, Ya felt that the clouds and mountains above her head had dispersed. The sky is blue and high, and the mood is clear......