(a)

Ya survived the winter in a state of pessimism, depression and fatigue, and when the spring came, Ya found a kindergarten to send her son, who was not yet two years old at that time. She paints in a studio near the kindergarten. This is what Ya likes to do, because she likes it, she doesn't feel boring, and she doesn't feel that the time is long.

She bought a thermos cup and put the leftover rice in it for lunch. She stared at the canvas all day and night, and before she knew it, dusk had arrived. It was time to pick up her son and daughter from school, and Ya stood up, only to feel that her neck was sore and her fingers were a little unable to stretch out. But she was in a happy mood, and on the way she asked her son what he had learned today. In just a few months, my son learned a lot of nursery rhymes, learned a lot of words, gained weight, and spoke clearly. Ya is delighted with the change in her son and is glad that he has met a good teacher. Sunset is so beautiful, and Ya's heart is overflowing with wonderful feelings.

When she was about to get home, Ya went directly to the village primary school in front of her to pick up her daughter, and when she came home, Ya cooked, and the children did their homework and played. Aunt Lan would bring her grandson over in the evenings and on Sundays, because Ya and the children were at home at this time.

The days were crowded and crowded until the Spring Festival, and seeing that his son was able to go to kindergarten, her husband wanted Ya to work in Guangzhou. Ya, who yearns for a distant place, happily goes, often working overtime and staying up late has become the norm, for Ya, who always wants to read, write, and paint, the anxiety of too little free time is entangled in nerves......

After Ya arrived in Guangzhou, she came to a writing platform one day, and since then it has become her writing position, and she writes about her daily worries and anxieties. She clicked on the platform's daily challenge, which turned out to be her happy troubles and anxious happiness......

Because of curiosity and hand trembling, Ya ordered Rigen's cheese, and from then on, anxiety was like a net, entangled layer by layer, and shortness of breath. Work occupies most of the time, and I am tired and sleepy to support myself. The emotions are not shocked, the past is long and difficult to write, and it has been passionate, but there is no time to condense the pen. There are also many texts about fatigue, anxiety, and discomfort...... 

I have been involved in the platform for more than a year, and I still don't know much about some of the operations of the platform. For example, about the setting of the drill, I have never deliberately asked for the drill, and it is still like a game in my heart. used to vigorously praise literary friends, but now there is a limit of positive and negative energy, I don't understand what kind of god operation, if there is leisure, it will still make the string of red hearts shine.

In the daily life of changing literature, fatigue, sleepiness, and anxiety are like shadows, and Ya has written a lot of words about anxiety...... 

"Lack"

The seductive song softens the muscles

Lack of wandering from the fingertips

The kuafu who fell with a bang

It has become the sun, moon, mountains and rivers

The river runs over the skin

Quicksand slips between your fingers

The moon is hazy and the shadows are slanting

The mountains are undulating

Drunk clothes whirling and dancing

The lack of song is dense

Penetrates the toes through the heart

Unable to chant the wind and the moon

The eyelashes fell on a heavy stone

Time does not move the slightest gap

An undercurrent of blurred consciousness

"Inverted"

The footsteps chattered and repeated

Lead-filled legs

The heaviness of dragging the shackles

Ignore the charm of the night god

Longing for the pleasure of falling down

Cranopod inversion

Lift the grievances of the lower limbs

Through the indebted qi and blood

Eyelashes flutter

Open the gate of the fence

Dawn stood silently beside him

"Yu"

Yu is a gray net

The gray sky that envelops the heavens and the earth is confused

The gloomy clouds tell the sorrow of the heart

The drizzle is a lonely heart

The cold snap comes from the unprovoked cold

The thin body misses the warm sun at this time

There is always unevenness that disturbs the peace of the breath

Sleepy nerves disarm and surrender

The mountains of Heiyaya are coming

You can't open the fence when you close your eyes

Dawn trekked in

Wake up and lie down

A dream of a thousand years has passed in an instant

"Dark Wounds"

Can't turn his head from side to side, pain holds the back of his shoulders, whether it is a battlefield to fight wolves, gray and sprinkled with pain. 

The back of the neck is an old cow that has been lying in wait for a long time, overwhelmed and unable to lift its heavy steps. It's not a daily "stiff neck", that day should be able to release the confinement, and it will be a day to suffer, straighten your neck and turn your body to look around. This time, the symptoms have been two or three days, and the pain of turning the neck is like a wounded wing, and the wound is oozing blood. This time, it may be a dark disease for many years. 

On Sunday, my colleague shouted to go shopping, and I said I was not available. The children asked me to take them to the supermarket, but I still said that I was not available. I woke up early in the morning, still in my pajamas, my phone in hand, motionless, except for the indiscriminate stuffing of some food during meals, I remained in this position until late at night. 

Except for work hours, it seems that all my free time is holding my phone in my hand and burying my head on the screen. Time passed so fast that it was late at night. In order to have the energy for tomorrow, I had to close my tired eyes and be confused. 

This Sunday, I was still sculpting until late at night. In one day, I just skimmed through the manuscripts submitted to me and wrote a brief comment. I didn't care about the literary friends who followed and liked. 

On weekdays, most of the time is at work. However, the time to leave work is limited. It shouldn't have caused another accumulation, just because it had to be changed every day. The hand frantically ordered the daily change.,And I was tied to the table by the five flowers.,Anxious to complete the so-called daily shift before twelve o'clock.,Regardless of whether you feel it or not, you have to write.,It's really a little miserable.。 I want to break off, but I'm afraid of blaming myself for giving up lightly...... There is less poetry, less tenderness and sweetness, and more frowning eyebrows and anxious hearts. In this way, I was trapped in the sea of accumulation and could not extricate myself...... 

From the point of view, it is like being possessed by an addict, and the happiest thing to do every day is to pick up the phone, swipe up and down, and be busy. I think it's been like this since my son was a child. At night, I hurriedly put him to sleep, and I happily picked up my mobile phone until late at night. 

Frozen shoulder (or cervical spondylosis) injuries can accumulate over time in huge piles of wood on the back. Just wait for the spark to set and crackle and burn. My eyesight is also declining more and more, sometimes I look at my mobile phone for a long time, and I feel that it is necessary to go out and relax, so I stagger out the door, look up at the brilliant sky, and there is a rotation of heaven and earth in a short time. The eyes are getting smaller and smaller. 

I remembered that during the Spring Festival this year, my sister was hospitalized for cervical spondylosis, and I accompanied me every day. She also bowed her head for a long time and caused cervical spine compression and deformation, and she was suffering from traction and needle pricking in the hospital every day, and my eyes were sleepy and painful. Her cervical spondylosis was more severe, and she was dizzy, nauseous, and vomiting...... After surgery, I am afraid of the sequelae, so I can only treat it physically. My sister's illness is also the accumulation of years of dark injuries. 

The body often maintains a posture and will be tired, the dark wound is like water, overflowing with pain, and when it is overwhelmed, it will scream out of pain. At this time, you should change your posture, stretch your body, and let the dark wound flow away slowly...... 

Scorched

Scorching imprisons the restless body

The chaos that filled his heart restrained his hands and feet

Miasma rises from the soles of the feet, runs through the body, and rises from the top of the head

The drought-stricken fields cracked into ravines and swallowed up the overturned bodies

The howling sound of the bottom of the sea rolled and crashed against the walls of the sea of hearts

The hungry beast opened its jaws full of sharp swords

Chewed up the creaking bones

I remember when I first joined the platform, the platform required no more than three articles per day. At that time, almost all of the old articles posted by Yazeng in the circle of friends were posted every day. Later, there was no limit to posting articles, and basically maintained the speed of one article a day. 

Later, I saw that some literary friends had the icon of the daily change, so I was also curious to click on the daily change. Since ordering the daily shift, life has been miserable...... 

"How to Name the Name"

The days are spinning, and the morning is upside down

Thirst for the fragrance of the wilderness, beautiful mountains and beautiful waters

The eyes are far away, and the heart is longing

Birds flutter their wings in the sky, singing in the greenery

Let the branches of it cry for joy

A cloud and a wisp of wind are also full of longing

In the name of illness and weakness, he stole his idle time

The flywheel spins and the nets fall and open

Insects and ants are at a loss, and the trapped beasts are restless

It's not a long night, it's lonely

Endless things are pouring in

I don't know what to do, but I am at a loss

The heart is burning and the prairie is still burning in the dark

I don't know what to do

How to name this anxiety

"Head Disease"

A hurricane roars in the mind

Huge waves rolled against the walls of the brain

The rumbling aftermath was deafening

Fingers run deep into the hair

Press the raging erupting sea

Heaven and earth swirl into darkness

Trigger the overturning of the river and the sea

It is said that there is no love in life

Returning to the dust becomes an urgent wish

Midnight silence day after day

Blue screen shiny obsessive face

Pale face in the mirror

It's already a ghostly shadow building

Caressed away from the sun

The lamp runs out of oil and eventually dies

Vertigo the world to protest

The light of dawn tugs at heavy eyelids

Hurriedly plunged into the torrent of rushing

The superposition of days

Finally burst the dizzy sea

"Deep Trapped"

Dense sleepy like ants

Densely crawled with the tree of the body

Smoke rises from the toes and heads like smoke

The body is as heavy as a mountain, and it can't be shaken

The mind is foggy

I don't know if I am in the water town of the south of the Yangtze River or the ice and snow in the north

I want to flick my fingers

But it is a heavy stone trapped and steady

I want to open my eyes

Let the light of the day pry open a line of eyelids

But the world is still dark

Trapped from ancient times singing enchanting songs

I couldn't wake up in the song

My ears are filled with the sounds of waking up in the morning

I could feel the call of the sun on my eyes and face

But I still let myself sink a little bit

Until the secluded ocean floor

Transfiguration into a reef

And then slowly grow into an island

Overlooking the vast expanse of sea that surrounds me

Listen to the seagulls flapping their wings and singing

The sea, the sea, the hometown of my dreams

The love song of the sea came from afar

Deep, deep, deep, deep

Scorched

Scorching imprisons the restless body

The chaos that filled his heart restrained his hands and feet

Miasma rises from the soles of the feet, runs through the body, and rises from the top of the head

The drought-stricken fields cracked into ravines and swallowed up the overturned bodies

The howling sound of the bottom of the sea rolled and crashed against the walls of the sea of hearts

The hungry beast opened its jaws full of sharp swords

Chewed up the creaking bones

The excavator hollowed out the cave with a sonorous bang

The mountain is shattered and returned to its homeland of the soil

The wind howled from the wilderness, tossing and turning on the limbs

And it sprouted from trembling fingertips

Thoughts are chaotic like clouds walking through the wilderness

Things to do are like clouds of ink rolling over the head

The scorching thunder rumbled

Ignite the fire of the heart and lick the air

The blood is like a boiling ocean, rushing left and right, protruding from the brain wall

Fainting vertigo staggered footsteps

The scorching ashes extinguished the sparks in the sea of eyes

"Sleepy"

Sleepiness is light and late

During the day, I always feel in debt to the night

Standing and walking, I still feel that spring is bright

Once you sit down, your eyelids linger up and down

The black sea came to mind

The light is on and off in front of you

Black and white coherent The body is lazy and sleepy bear

Limited physical strength Unable to hold up the sleepy head

I want to lie on the soft big bed at this time

I want to fall asleep like this

Smell enough of the flowers of dreams

It seems to have been sleepy for a hundred years

Lack of mental strength but struggle to support

The eyelids are heavy as a mountain

The skull is like a chicken pecking rice

Nodding his head little by little

Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy...... 

Sleepy songs never sleep

(b)

In factories in Guangzhou, overtime is a common phenomenon. It's not early to get home every night, and sometimes even later. After a tiring day, the most enjoyable thing is probably to lie in bed and look at your phone for a while. 

The time to open the browser is surprisingly fast, and after reading a few articles, hours have passed. Thinking of the day before twelve o'clock, I quickly washed up, changed into pajamas, and then sat on the bed and hugged my mobile phone. 

Ya has always been unhappy to write articles, and after writing it, it has to be revised several times before it is released. It is often barely written but not revised, and it is released before 12 o'clock. After sending, click Edit to modify. This modification was not tightened, but the trapped insect crawled into view, and its head moved up and down like a chicken pecking rice. Sometimes I get confused and wake up to continue revising. It is common to go to bed at one or two in the morning, and it is not uncommon to go to bed at two or three o'clock, but you still have to get up early to go to work the next morning. 

In the long run, it has become a luxury to be able to sleep well. Ya's heart often falls into anxiety: in order to complete the daily watch, she often doesn't care about the comments and praises of palindrome friends (after completing the day shift, it is already three watches and five watches, so she comforts herself: I must pay off the apologies when I have time), and they gather more and more in Ya's heart, which aggravates her anxiety. 

In the past, there was no restriction on the platform to add or subtract energy, and if she was free, she would vigorously praise it and end the accumulated apologies in her heart. 

"Accumulation"

Since August 15, I seem to have accelerated my sluggish state, and every day has gone by suddenly, and even though I have repeatedly delayed my sleep time, it still does not seem to improve this state. 

Going to work takes up most of my day, and I don't seem to be able to do much the rest of the day. I used to be involved in the must-read book every day, but I also accumulated regrets. 

In those days of preparing for the establishment of the literary exchange group, the enthusiasm and energy were spent on building the group, and there was no time to take care of the platform. To this day, I mostly visit and comment on those writers who pay attention to my topics and like my words. I have accumulated a thick pile of articles that have contributed to my feature (of course, the Internet is invisible, you can imagine such a thick stack). 

Although my writings are often included in different topics, I don't know if they gave me a red heart or a review. But the writers who contributed to my topic can clearly see whether I lit up the red heart and whether I gave a brief comment. I think this is also a sign of respect and support for literary friends. Just because my topic is "Xiaofeng Xiao's Poems", I stupidly fell into my name at the beginning, and now it is a little inappropriate to change it, after all, I have accumulated a lot of literary friends who often vote for my topic. I'm afraid that if I change my name, they won't get used to it. 

I saw that some literary friends wrote comments that were long, beautiful and touching, and I also wanted to follow suit, but I had limited time and energy and submitted a lot of articles, so I could only make a few brief comments. Literati always reply with "thanks". Some of my writers, who are strong and insightful, are fond of my topic, probably because my comments have kept them in their hearts. 

I can read the emotions they express, the hidden thoughts, the wishes they want to express, or maybe some of our thoughts are in harmony. A literary friend said: "--- drunk, it's my luck to meet you, my critic!" Some literary friends said: "I like your comments like this!" ”…… 

In the process of reading and writing, I have made many friends who are close to each other, and they appreciate and support each other. When a literary friend who joined the group after joining the group after being busy in his daily life, he gave a thumbs up when he saw the firecrackers jumping in the group, "A team of 100 people!" ”

The establishment of the team of 100 people is only a few days, which is all due to the accumulation of literary friends on weekdays, taking care of my thin noodles. 

The acquaintance process of several literary friends is quite funny. One day, I received a private message from a stranger asking me to give him a few likes. I was noncommittal, but after reading their article, I didn't hesitate to click on the number of likes they asked for and sent a few more. Not to mention how they write, I am secretly amazed by the broadness of the vision and the uniqueness of the opinions revealed in the text. Since then, we have become sympathetic literary friends. They themselves have slowly gathered literary friends who appreciate them, and some of them have become popular. 

When I first entered the platform, there was an editor-in-chief teacher who often encouraged and supported me and later joined the group, he often posted articles in the group to share support, and often sent messages of saying hello to the weekends and holidays in the morning. 

There is also a literary friend who is highly respected, has profound literary beauty and reasoning, discusses the current situation in the world, and has a unique vision and vision, but only chooses me as a topic. I don't know my life, but I trust it so much, and I completely distinguish my friends with literature and distinguish my friends with literature. 

In the past few days of the National Day holiday, I have said every day that I want to clear the accumulated contributions, but I can't finish reading them every day. Anxiety creeps in, and guilt grows. 

Some literary friends did come to me for their comments, and they have been fruitful for many years of writing but they are particularly fond of my topic, which makes me both relieved and sorry: I haven't read their articles for such a long time, and I haven't written a comment. This accumulated guilt is like a heavy stone weighing down on the heart. I read one article after another in order, but I haven't seen it yet, and I've accumulated too much! 

Hurry up and remove the heavy stones that have accumulated in my heart, let the breeze and bright moon and sunshine fill in, I want to be comfortable and light...... 

"Cumulative Elimination"

The drizzle was drizzling and the mood was long

The gaze is like water, and the lines are endless

Looking at the endless end of the world, there are endless strings of characters

The pressure on the top of the mountain rises with anxiety

Morning and dusk are upside down

Accumulate enthusiasm and bloom all over the place

His eyes were full of smiles

I can't bear to leave it behind and let the water pass

I can't bear the cold water and my heart

My heart is also difficult to overcome

See the stitches day after day

Can't stop getting dizzy

Anxiety crawls like a worm

I want to take off my armor

The wind invites the moon to figure out the shadow

In the midst of anxiety, I saw that the superposition had been flattened

I don't feel long and depressed, and I am happy

The red heart sparkled with a smile and finally answered

Although Ya felt that there were a lot of things to write, she didn't have much time, and she was not even satisfied with what she wrote in a hurry, so how could she be embarrassed to publish it. 

When she first arrived in Guangzhou, Ya is eyes were smart and green like a waterfall, but now she has a lot of gray hair, and she often loses her hair, combing a lot. Fortunately, the hair is naturally dense and hard, and it is impossible to see that it is less when it has fallen out so much. All kinds of physical discomfort are also coming and going...... 

More than once Ya repented of the day watch, and henceforth he carried a heavy carapace like a snail carrying a heavy load. She told Yiwenyou about her troubles, and he said, "You just have to retreat." He also said: "The mandatory day is even more inhumane, and with the spirit of that day, you can write a lot of words." That being said, it is difficult to make up your mind to retreat: Isn't this disarming and surrendering? Isn't this a rout of willpower? She is more afraid of being disappointed and blaming herself after retreating...... 

There were a few days when she was very depressed and had no intention of writing. Every time the footsteps of twelve o'clock in the morning approach, quietly listen to its footsteps, and watch its silent back gradually drift away, there is a sense of relief. Finally, the news of the day's failure was coldly presented in front of her, Ya did not have the regret and self-blame that she had imagined, and her anxiety finally stopped looking forward to it. 

Some of the literary friends who often interact with each other are still getting better and better, especially some literary friends in the literary exchange group she formed, who are still interested in reading and publishing articles every day. 

At the beginning of the group, she often recommended the texts of literary friends in the group, but now they are rarely bubbling. She has also been invited to join many groups, which either promote their own public accounts, or promote some products, and of course, some are purely for the purpose of literary communication. She also set up her own public account and handheld bookstore, but she was ashamed to promote it in the group. Because at the beginning of the group, she set the theme of the group: to communicate with literature for the purpose. 

To this day, her group still retains this characteristic. Of course, among those who were invited by literary friends to promote products, she warned them all and finally cleared them out of the group. Some groups of red envelopes are flying all over the sky, but she set a group rule at the beginning: this group advocates literary exchanges, not red envelopes. All she can do is try her best to maintain the pure environment of the group. 

There are many diligent teachers and literary friends in her group, and their spirit of insisting on publishing articles every day makes her admire and sigh. After a period of interruption, Ya rarely published articles, and then he felt remorse in his heart. So I ordered another daily shift, but it didn't exceed five days, and I abandoned it again. She no longer seems to have a big task urging every day, and she is calm again. She didn't want to be anxious anymore, and she finally felt a sense of relief......