Chapter 39 of the Year of Tranquility
(a)
How should a person spend this life? How to live meaningfully? How do you make your dreams come true? This kind of thinking about the meaning of life seems to accompany Ya throughout her life, and although she has not yet finished her life, she seems to have been thinking about this question since she had the ability to think.
Mom said that Ya always cried when she was very young, and even pulled her hair with her hands while crying, and the hair on the back of her head was almost pulled off by her. Mom and Dad took her everywhere to find a doctor, but no one could say why. Ya seemed to have a vague memory of this, she remembered that she used to wear hats and didn't want to show the sparse back of her head. Her father also said that when she was very young, she used to say, "Why are other people's children so smart, why am I so stupid?" When she repeatedly did what others could do well, she couldn't do it well, so she cried anxiously: "Why can they do it well, why can't I do it well?" ”
Since she was a child, Ya has hoped that she would be said well and that she would achieve something in her life. Since she was a child, she has liked to read celebrity biographies, and the heroes in them are her role models and nourishment for her soul. They inspire her, and every time she makes her blood boil, she feels that she should follow their example in this life to live a wonderful life.
He lived to give hope to others. On TV, a man without limbs was giving a moving speech, and he made many people cry and blood boiling. He is the famous Australian post-80s inspirational speaker Nick Brown. Mr. Hochul, who was born without limbs, but who firmly believed that he could be a good man. With perseverance, he learned to ride horses, play golf, swim, and soccer. He excelled academically and holds two university degrees. He founded his own business and won the Young Australian Award. Instead of feeling inferior and despairing because of the disability he was born with, he used his tenacious perseverance to become a hero admired by countless people.
The famous mathematician Hua Luogeng only graduated from junior high school, and he relied on tenacious self-study to complete all the mathematics courses in high school and lower college in five years. He later suffered from typhoid fever and left his leg disabled, but he still insisted on self-study and became a lecturer at Tsinghua University. He taught himself English and French; In German, he has published many papers in foreign journals. In the summer of 1936, he was sponsored to study at the University of Cambridge in England and published more than 10 papers, which attracted the appreciation of the international mathematical community. In 1938, Hua Luogeng returned to China from a visit to Britain and wrote the famous book "The Theory of Stacked Prime Numbers" in a difficult and difficult environment.
Zhang Haidi is disabled, diligent in learning, and helpful, and is known as "contemporary Paul". When she was 5 years old, she suffered from a spinal hemangioma and suffered from high paraplegia, and with tenacious perseverance she taught herself elementary and secondary school courses, self-taught herself university English, Japanese, German and Esperanto, and pursued university and master's courses. Zhang Haidi has translated works such as "Seaside Clinic" and created works of more than 1 million words such as "Dream in a Wheelchair". Her deeds have touched countless people and become a role model in the minds of countless people.
Beethoven was a world-famous musician and one of the most tragic in fate. He began composing music at the age of 12 and joined the orchestra at the age of 14 to support his family. When his mother died of illness at the age of 17, he contracted typhoid fever and smallpox, but he did not succumb to fate and remained obsessed with his beloved music. At the age of 28, he was unfortunately deaf, but he composed the famous "Symphony of Destiny", its theme is to reflect the struggle between human beings and fate, and finally overcome fate, which is also a portrayal of his own life, he firmly believes that "music can make the human spirit burst into sparks", "tenacious battle, through struggle to win" This idea runs through Beethoven's works.
At the age of thirteen or fourteen, Hawking made up his mind to pursue a career in physics and astronomy, and while studying cosmology for a doctorate at Cambridge University, he discovered that he was suffering from Lou Gehrig's disease, which causes muscle atrophy. In the 70s, he and Penrose proved the famous singularity theorem, and in 1988 they jointly won the Wolf Prize in Physics. He also proved that the area of a black hole does not decrease over time. In 1973, he discovered that the temperature of black hole radiation is inversely proportional to its mass, that is, the black hole will become smaller due to radiation, but the temperature will increase, and eventually it will explode and disappear.
In the '80s, he began to study quantum cosmology, but he was paralyzed, relying on electric wheelchairs instead of his feet, and relying on computers and synthesizers to speak and write. But his scientific achievements came after the onset of his illness, proving that disability was not an obstacle to success and that his tenacity was worth emulating.
Helen. Keller, a disabled educator in the United States, who was blinded and deaf at the age of one or two due to a high fever, learned to speak with the help of Sullivan, a teacher at a school for the blind, and was admitted to college, where she earned a Bachelor of Arts degree with honors and wrote the world-famous work "If You Give Me Three Days of Light", which inspired countless people.
Disabled dancer Tai Lihua lost her hearing and sweet singing voice due to a high fever when she was two years old, and has since fallen into a silent world. At the age of 7, he entered the Municipal School for the Deaf and Dumb, and began to have endless fun with dancing and practiced dance hard. At the age of 17, she set herself a new goal: to go to college. In 1994, she got her wish and was admitted to the Decoration Design Department of Hubei Institute of Fine Arts and became a college student. She not only served as the captain of the Disabled Art Troupe, served as the vice chairman of the China Special Arts Association, but also served as the image ambassador of the China Disabled Persons Art Troupe, and has toured more than 40 countries.
Celebrity biographies are people's spiritual food, it is like a strong wind puffing up the sails, allowing people to spread their ideal wings. When people are depressed, pessimistic and disappointed, celebrity biographies are like a storm that sweeps away the haze, making people suddenly enlightened and invigorated. Ya remembered that she picked up English again when she was pregnant with her daughter, and when she felt bored and depressed, she read Li Yang's inspirational book about learning English: "I'm Crazy, I'm Successful". Li Yang has some inspirational quotes that are very encouraging:
1. What makes us miserable is really forging us.
2. Success has no elevator, only one step at a time staircase.
3. The secret to success lies in consistently sticking to your goals.
4. Success comes from the struggle to overcome difficulties.
5. Only in the dictionary does success come before work.
6. I have no secret to success other than hard work.
7. People always ask me if I know the secret of success and if I can tell others how they can make their dreams come true. My answer is: the trick to success and achieving your dreams is to work hard. Success comes by doing, not by thinking.
8. Plan for the best and prepare for the worst.
9. There is only one kind of success in this world, and that is to be able to live your life in your own way.
10. Superficial people believe in luck, and the number one secret to success is self-confidence.
11. Man does not live to fail.
12. Life is hard, but you can be stronger.
13. When you stop trying, you will fail completely.
15. To be a great leader, you must have great hopes.
In the past, in the concept of English teaching in China, people regarded English as a kind of knowledge to impart, and English as a kind of learning to promote, and the essence of English is a tool for communication, and the primary stage of English teaching is a kind of skill training. Teachers teach English as knowledge, and students rely on rote memorization of grammar and vocabulary, and finally there is "dumb English" that cannot be listened to or spoken. Li Yang encourages his students to speak English out loud, and he believes that the first step in crazy English is to break through the psychological barrier of not daring to speak and fear losing face. The fundamental factors and key points of Li Yang's crazy English success are in line with the objective law of "partial" English teaching.
(b)
Thoughts rush east into the sea
A few years thick
Reminiscing about the past, I was naïve
Clear eyes, novel wilderness
Fragrant green meadows, birds flying
Beside the murmuring stream, singing lingers
Firmly believe that the world is bright and beautiful, and abandon the mediocre world
Embrace the broad sun and sprinkle the earth with warmth and warmth
Turn into a spring breeze to sweep the world and smooth the red dust heart waves
We look forward to working together to build a sunny society
A biography of heroes
Shi Yue's mind was full of blood
The passion is surging and the flames are blazing
The vigorous picture is reflected in the brain
Emulate the heroic and hope for the cardamom years
Gallop across the wilderness and soar into the endless blue sky
Full of vitality and strength
The sky is bright and the heart is full
The sun is blue and the sky is longitudinal
The mountain stream spring water sings all the way
Joy and enthusiasm sprinkled Mother Earth
Reminiscing about the past
At that time, the boy did not return
Hesitating in the autumn wind, the fallen leaves are rolling and flying beside him. Looking at the vast land, it is still a bustling world, and the traffic is busy. In such a season, I feel that I am swimming outside the sea of people, looking at the mountains and flowing waters, looking at the north geese flying south, and looking at the red leaves, and I don't feel sad and crying. Catch a flying yellow leaf beside him, and murmur pathos to the yellow leaf.
In such a season, I feel that I am stumbling on the vast wilderness. The sky is firm, the earth is vast, and the bleak wind and rain blow the stagnant faces. When the rain touched his lips, it was so cold. Wrapped in a deep chill, my heart sank to the bottom of the sea. His eyes stared at the gray sky of the sky, but he saw nothing.
The mind sank into the sinking sea, and it rushed eastward, flowing for more than a few years...... It was as if I saw the little girl with pigtails again, with a pair of clear eyes, looking at the brilliant green fields in the sun with novelty. She ran like a bird on the green meadows that smelled of fragrant earth, lingering beside the singing stream.
She has no doubt that the world will always be so bright and lovely. She is glad that she was born in a new world, and the white terror of the past will be gone in the new era. Teachers and parents also said the same, maybe this girl is born with a stubborn factor in her blood, once she believes in something, unless she touches her head and bleeds, she will not easily change her mind. She believed that the words of her teachers and books were right, and she was determined to guide her actions according to them, because at that time she did not have her own thoughts and history.
Since then, this little girl has fallen into the golden light of that dream, and has not woken up for a long, long time. Until she grew up, she still had a lot of ignorance. She admired books, and in the book, she gradually formed the concept that teachers, warriors, and parents were perfect, and her admiration for Lei Feng was deeply rooted in her mind. She wanted to embrace the sun and let the warmth and warmth spread all over the earth. She wants to turn into a spring breeze and smooth the ripples on everyone's heart. She wants to join hands with the people of the new era to build a republic full of sunshine.
She admires heroes, and the images of heroes in biographies jump in her mind from time to time. The tragedy of the hero, the gestures of the hero, all stirred her young heart, she was surged by a surging passion, she was burned by a raging flame. In her mind, there was a vigorous picture. As a child, she believes that man will conquer the sky, and she imitates the words and deeds of heroes. At that time, she simply did not have herself, and when she encountered things and problems, her thoughts and actions immediately flashed in her mind. She hopes that in the prime of her cardamom years, she can gallop in the vast wilderness and soar in the boundless blue sky.
At that time, she was full of vitality all day long. She sincerely felt that the sky was so bright, and the world was so warm and splendid. She wanted to sing under the blue sky, she imagined the mountain stream and spring water, singing all the way, sprinkling joy and enthusiasm to Mother Earth.
"Who has not died in life since ancient times, leaving Dan's heart to take care of the sweat", this ancient saying hit her young heart like lightning, and she hopes that in this life, she can also be like Fan Zhongyan, keep Dan's heart and sweat.
She regrets how heroes always have shortcomings. The most important thing in human life is to maintain the purity of quality. In this way, she can calmly smile at the heaven and the earth, and at the Yellow River and the Yangtze River. She wants to be a flawless person. She couldn't let a grain of sand rub into her eyes, or a wisp of wind passing by, but she dissected herself to pieces so that she didn't leave any regrets.
She walked into her own burning world, and she had no doubt that people under the sun were all the same.
When this little girl grew up, all kinds of beautiful fantasies woven by her youth were still entrenched in her mind. Finally, one day, a huge and trembling question mark lingered in her mind, hitting her meninges like a torrent: Is the world in her head really the same as reality? Why is there ugliness, corruption, and selfishness in real society? Why is my belief in rock-solid things jokingly with my peers? How did I spend more than ten spring and autumn seasons? Why is there such a deep ideological estrangement from his peers?
Suddenly, she felt that the mountain collapsed, thunder and lightning, like Mount Tai collapsed, she was languishing, decadent, and she no longer had the strength to straighten her back. Regardless of the wind and rain, she staggered in the mud, looking at the fierce sky, and couldn't help the rain and tears: this is the ideal world I am striving for, this is the warm world I longed for, and this is the desert field that I am fighting for, in the hope that he will serve the results? !
How not to make people look up to the sky and laugh, how not to make people cry and cry. Do you want to survive in the future, just like all sentient beings? Do you want to spend your life in this gray wind and rain? No! I'd rather wander in that lonely wasteland, rather go to that clear and sorrowful place, rather be accompanied by the Green Lantern Ancient Scriptures, than distort my soul, and never be in a daze......
From then on, she was like a lonely goose in the sky, wailing in the sky; The deep frustration is like the lonely black horse, the bitter and suppressed resentment in the wasteland; It is like standing on the top of a glacier, and the intuition is not cold at the heights; It is like being stuck at the bottom of an ice pool, and the intuition is cold to the marrow. Gloomy heart, when will I be able to remove the heavy clouds and breathe in the warm sunshine......
It was a long, long time before she slowly walked out of the shore of the gray bank, but everything seemed indifferent, and she could no longer easily stir up the waves of enthusiasm. Look at the vast sea of people and the world, and occasionally open your eyes to peek into the world, who is the person in your eyes? sigh helpless like water, entangled and reborn.
Another gust of autumn wind swept by, and the yellow leaves disappeared with the wind. The autumn is deep, and it seems that Yue Fei is waving north among the dust horses; It seems to see the vast wilderness again, Qu Zi chanted, "The road is long, and its cultivation is far away; I will seek up and down"; It seems that Li Qingzhao splashed ink and wrote: "Life should be a masterpiece, and death should be a ghost"; It seems that I saw Qiu Jin dancing the sword and singing "The end of the hero is tormented, and the wall of Longquan sings every night". It seems that I saw the innocent little girl dancing like her ancestors, and reading hard like the ancients. Today, I still seem to be able to feel the pride that gushes out, and the desire to serve the country.
Chilling, gathering thoughts, looking around the vast earth, leaving only a faint me, I can't help but sigh to the sky: time flies like water, and I don't stay for a moment for a gloomy state of mind......
(c)
She is one of the many beings, a member of the bustling flow of people, she has always been in the middle of the stream, why is she now more and more in agreement with this idea?
The sleepless nights, the sighs, the frowns, the depression, the resentment and grievances, in the more and more integrated into the worldly life, have been with the firewood, rice, oil and salt, rushing life, parents and children, relatives and friends, and the old friends, the years are getting older and the flowers are not in the reality of the fireworks slowly turning into smoke and fog, ethereal and far away.
Differences in thinking and personality are important factors that distinguish oneself from others, and everyone's thinking and personality are very different. Differences in environment, education, experience, etc., create differences in thinking and character. Childhood is a blank sheet of paper, and whatever pictures are painted will leave any imprints, and even throughout life.
"When he looks back, he will not regret that he wasted his time, nor will he be ashamed of his inaction." This quote is from "How Steel is Made". These are the words of the protagonist of the book, Paul Kochakin.
The original text reads as follows: A person's life should be spent in such a way that when he looks back, he will not regret that he wasted his time, nor will he be ashamed of his inaction; Thus, at the end of his life, he was able to say: "My whole life and all my energies have been devoted to the most magnificent cause in the world - the struggle for the emancipation of mankind."
The novel tells people through the story of Paul Kochagin's growth path that only when a person defeats the enemy and himself in the hardships and hardships of the revolution, and only when he connects his pursuit with the interests of the motherland and the people, can he create miracles and grow into an iron warrior.
The main achievement of the work is the creation of Paul Kochagin as an artistic model. The author strictly follows the reality of life when portraying this character, and does not regard Paul's strong will and strong character as innate, but believes that it was tempered in heroic battles and hard labor, in hard study and strict self-discipline.
Does the fetus have the ability to think in the mother's womb? Do you have a lot of thoughts in the first years of your life? It is generally believed that childhood is ignorant and ignorant of the world, but will he or she think about how to spend a long life? Ya thought she might have been thinking about it since early childhood. His childhood and youth were soaked in deep thinking and the pain it caused.
Ya heard her mother say that she loved to cry when she was very young, and even pulled her hair while crying. She felt that the pain she had felt since she was a child was different from ordinary people. Why is this so? Ya only knows that since she can remember, she wants to be a person who will leave a name in history. When she was a student, she found all the books about the inspirational stories of great people and teenagers who worked hard to serve the country. Every time she saw such a book, she felt waves of hot blood rush to her head and cheeks, and her body rushed through her body like thunder and lightning.
In a clear and naïve childhood, she couldn't see the dark side of society and couldn't appreciate the complexity of people's hearts. In her mind, she only has the beauty described by her teacher, and the white terror in history is like an illusory story to her, who has not experienced the world. She pays the most attention to forging the purity of her thoughts and character, she wants to be a person with perfect character and talent like Yue Fei, and never be a person like Qin Hui who is equally talented but is spurned by the world because of her low character. To this end, at a young age, she made the "Three Provinces Book" and learned from the ancients to "Three Provinces and My Body" for a day. ”
When she was young, Ya's family was also in difficulty, but when she saw beggars and old people living on the streets, she would feel heavy and tears welled up in her eyes. In her third year of high school, she and her classmates went to the provincial capital to take the art exam, and when she saw the elderly female beggar who lived in the toilet, she couldn't help but sigh and cry. She hated herself for being careful about the world, wanting the world to be peaceful, there was no poverty and no darkness, but in reality, there were displaced people, but she couldn't do anything, and she felt that this was also her responsibility. When her table mate asked her why she was always sighing, she only sighed heavily, she couldn't say that she wanted to seal her mind in the depths of her heart. Because she can't be outstanding, because she can't be the ideal self. He is as ordinary as a student, how dare he expose his desire to serve the country since he was a child?
When I was a student, I couldn't hear or see the dark side of society, and every time I heard about it, I was immersed in pain in my heart. She hated herself for having empty ambitions, and she blamed herself for being stupid by nature. She looked up at the long sky again and again and screamed: Heaven! Why did you make me ambitious since I was a child, but you gave me a stupid head and a stubborn heart! I am so cowardly and incompetent, how can I achieve my grand ideals?
In this life, the huge difference between reality and ideals tormented Ya's heart, which made her have a deep inferiority complex and frustration in her heart. Reality has always tormented her, breaking the preconceived notions she has formed since childhood. Every change in concept is the result of hitting the head and bleeding.
For example, since she was a child, she believed that "it is rare to have a confidant in life", and she is reluctant to make more friends, believing that it is enough to have three or two confidants in life. The fact that she couldn't recognize people and made friends also brought her a devastating blow. When I was supposed to work hard in high school, I almost died because I made the wrong friend. She only told her table mates (she had more than one table in high school, this was her first high school tablemate) about her big wishes and efforts to achieve them, and she told her her secrets: the boy she had a crush on in junior high school. That good boy was the ideal version of himself, he was so outstanding, he basically did everything she wanted to do. But the same table didn't know what kind of psychology she was in, and she slandered her behind her back, but she was pitiful and usually taciturn and unsociable, thinking that she had paid attention to her reputation since she was a child, and she was so discredited, she felt bored. She was reluctant to defend herself and divulge the secrets of her tablemates. Those days and nights were spinning, she couldn't sleep or eat, her rosy cheeks turned pale, her hair fell out profusely, and her menstrual periods were irregular. It was a major disaster in her life, and she almost couldn't resist it. In her innocent girlhood, her ability to resist suppression was too poor.
Later, she reflected on herself, and it was her unintentional contempt for her that made her hold a grudge. Ja is unimaginable, the seemingly innocent table mate has no ambitions, she is precocious and precocious and amorous. In Ya's heart, it is enough to love one person in her life, how can she have the energy to love many people. One of the boys she liked seemed to be enthusiastic about Ya, which also aroused the jealousy of his tablemates. At that time, where did Ya understand these psychological things! As a result, she discovered a huge difference in her thinking from others. Actually, too: she is outdated, she has become an outlier among her peers. She didn't know how to deal with interpersonal disputes, but even when she couldn't hold it anymore and wanted to faint, she still straightened her back and stubbornly walked into the wind and rain. It was only when she got home that she collapsed on the bed, her eyes wide open and the pain swallowing her......
In this life, everything is not going well, and I hope for marriage, and my marriage is full of holes. The husband who was transformed into a savior to save her had given her a lot of longing and hope, but in the end she was deeply disappointed. He didn't understand her, and he always felt that she was very unrealistic. The poor and chicken feather family, the selfish and troublesome parents-in-law...... She doesn't care about money or real estate, but she meets snobbish people and suspicious neighbors...... She lives according to her ideals, but life is against her at every turn. Could it be that she is too naïve, and the genius wants to make it difficult to make her sober everywhere, let her face the reality, and let her live a down-to-earth life in the world? The world may be like this, and people should adapt to the fireworks in the world......