I hope you are alive, I hope you are not a ghost, I wish you are out of hell, I hope not in a thousand years, I hope there is no extraterrestrial life, I hope the earth is still safe and sound.

Thank you, for coming to the Underworld; Thank you, for opening this box; Thank you, read my life.

My name is Luo Haoran, and this is my suicide note, written in the last days of my life.

I was born in Beijing forty years ago.

My father was a high-ranking cadre of the Central Committee, and when I was not even born, he was defeated by the rebels and deprived of all rights and treatment. The family moved from Beijing to Tangshan and lived in a military factory at the foot of a barren mountain in the suburbs. I lived there for four years, with my mom and dad and three older brothers until my sister was born.

It was an unusually hot early morning, and my sister, who was only a month old, was noisy all night, and I couldn't sleep, so I walked to my mother's bedside. In the dim light, I looked at the newborn baby girl and gently touched her smooth face, she looked like a mother - it was the first memory of my life. Then I heard a terrible howl of a wolf, and my mother and I looked out the window and saw a blinding white light in the night.

Seconds later, a massive earthquake erupted.

When I woke up again, all I heard was the crying of a baby. I got out of the rubble, bleeding from top to bottom, but barely in pain. The entire military factory was reduced to rubble, all the houses were gone, and mutilated corpses were everywhere. I walked in this hell in a daze, until I found my sister's swaddling clothes under a sturdy girder, she was still alive, in my mother's arms, crying full of life.

In order to protect her sister, her mother pressed her tightly under her, but she was crushed to death by the beam.

I picked my sister up from her cold hands and staggered for my dad and brothers. Amid my sister's hoarse cries, I saw their bodies - all three of my brothers were dead, leaving only my father crushed to the ground, still breathing.

Suddenly, another wolf howl sounded behind him. I turned my head in a panic and saw a wolf eating the corpse - wild wolves were often found on that barren mountain, and occasionally children were dragged away and eaten by wolves.

The wolf was frantically gnawing at the dead body, perhaps starving for days, and my legs were stiff and I didn't know where to run. Until it raised its head, and its eyes glowed with a faint green light—many years later, I would dream back to that wee hours of the morning, to the lonely wolf, and to look into its eyes, and at the moon in the sky that night.

When the wolf came to me, my sister stopped crying. It circled around us, its huge tail sweeping across the ground, emitting a horrible stench. It's gone, maybe it's full.

After dawn, the People's Liberation Army came here, rescued my father from the rubble, and moved our family to a safe place.

To this day, my mother and three older brothers are still buried in the cemetery in Tangshan.

My sister miraculously survived and lived with my father and me. In those days we were displaced, moving from one city to another, and I didn't start primary school until I was nine years old. Because I didn't have my mother to take care of me, my father never took care of people, I couldn't eat anything good, I was malnourished, I was small, I wore sloppy old clothes all year round, and I was often bullied by other children. However, as long as anyone dares to bully my sister, I will rush up and beat them desperately, regardless of whether I will be beaten and my face will be swollen. I thought that on the night of the earthquake, if it weren't for my sister's cry, I might never wake up again and would have slept forever. It was also me who brought my sister out of the rubble, otherwise she would probably have been eaten by wolves - I would never let her be hurt in the slightest, and seeing her was like seeing my mother's face, though only for a moment in my memory.

In the 80s, under the care of senior leaders, my father returned to Beijing to resume his official duties.

Later, as an underground party member, he was directly commanded by Zhou Enlai's Central Special Branch, lurking in the Kuomintang secret service, providing a lot of important information, and saving the lives of several proletarian revolutionaries. His grandfather was betrayed after Gu Shunzhang's rebellion and died in a Kuomintang prison. My father grew up in Yan'an, was sent to study in the former Soviet Union, and became a deputy ministerial-level cadre before the age of forty, thanks to the repaying heart of those old people.

Since then, our family has lived a privileged life, with special food every day, special car pick-up and drop-off, and special people to take care of daily life. I was lucky enough to attend the best elementary school, and I jumped a level in the second year so that I wasn't too tall compared to my classmates – I grew taller, stood out from the crowd in junior high school, and had a crush on me from many of my female classmates.

But I've never liked any girl because I have a younger sister.

She's really, really, really charming. I watched her grow little by little, from a cute girl to a flower girl, and then to a woman who was full of charm. I always wanted to protect her, for fear that she would encounter some danger, and even more afraid that she would be deceived by other men. She and I don't have a mom, and my dad is busy with meetings or business trips outside all day, and he doesn't have the opportunity to be with us, so it's almost as long as I'm at home, it's my sister and me.

I thought, I like her, but I can't say it, it's so hard to talk about.

In the year I graduated from college, my sister was admitted to university. It was a nationally renowned key university, and she naturally became the focus of the school because of her excellent grades and good looks. I often went to school to look for her, and looked at her male classmates with a defensive eye, and people who didn't know would think I was her boyfriend. Sometimes when I pass by the lake of the university and look at the two shadows reflected on the water, I really look like a well-matched couple.

But I didn't expect that my sister really had a boyfriend, not one of the male classmates I was wary of day and night, but a young man who worked in a college cafeteria. Not only me, but also our father, as well as her teachers, were strongly opposed to her relationship. However, his sister, who has never really been in love, is deeply infatuated with him. Under pressure from his father, the man was expelled from school, and his sister eloped with him.

My father and I searched for her in various ways until a year later, when I saw her body on the beach in the south.

It is said that the younger sister and the man wandered for a year, because they could not find a suitable job, and the two were hungry and cold, and the future was bleak. She didn't dare to ask for help, because once she knew where she was, her father would definitely notify the local police, take the two of them under control, and throw the man in jail. In the end, the desperate two people committed suicide by jumping into the sea and martyrdom.

I caressed my dead sister, her pale face, her skin, her long black hair wrapped in seaweed, and sent her to the crematorium of the funeral home until her seductive body turned into a pile of scum and ashes.

I knew I couldn't possibly fall in love with any woman again in my life.

Soon after my sister's death, my father passed away due to illness, and his funeral was held in Babaoshan, and many big people sent wreaths, but I didn't shed a single tear.

I did not work in a central ministry as my father had arranged, but took my father's legacy and opened an import and export trading company. In those years, as long as I had a little background in the background, I could easily make a lot of money, and I completed the original accumulation in two years. In the process of dealing with different people, I became more and more ruthless, calling him a brother at the wine table one day, and the next day I could bankrupt his family and put him in prison for the purpose of stealing his assets.

Ten years ago, I merged all my properties into Future Dream Group, and took advantage of the fact that housing prices began to rise and acquired a large amount of land from local governments. Because of my family's special background, I never dared to let people know my details, and I hid behind the scenes in an unusually low-key way, so that for ten years, except for the group's senior executives and a few employees at the headquarters, almost no one knew my name, and no photos of me were leaked.

Four years ago, I bought the site of Future Dream Building, which was surrounded by high-rise buildings, except for a large old residential area in the middle. Why should you choose this place? What's more, it used to be a cemetery many years ago.

I'm sorry, I have my reasons, this is the most important place in my life, and I want to take this reason to the grave.

The demolition and construction lasted for a year, until the future dream mall, office building, and five-star hotel opened at the same time.

I moved the group's headquarters here and made my home in the presidential suite on the top floor. The executives of the group must have thought that I was a weirdo who lived in a hotel suite in the middle of the city without living in a villa worth hundreds of millions of dollars in the suburbs.

Because I want to look out of the top window every day, at the concrete and asphalt land below, where there are memories that I will never erase.

I hope to stay here until the day I die.

April 1. Sunday. Night, 22:19.

Doomsday.

Destiny? Years ago, I should have died in the Tangshan earthquake.

I know that what awaits us is nothing more than death, but whoever dies will be able to last longer. However, I want to live.

I was in control of the building's electrical system, although there wasn't much diesel left, and it only lasted a few days. I also try to maintain good air so that the oxygen doesn't run out too quickly, and I don't let the rotting stench of corpses poison the living. But I don't want to be a leader, I just want to keep myself alive. Professor Wu naturally became the core, and there was also a genius novelist around.

And I knew I was going to die. Maybe a few days, maybe a week, but never more than a month. I spit on myself deeply, and every time I faced the mirror, I didn't dare to look into my own eyes, afraid to see a ghostly green gaze. I know I don't have long to live, and the rest of the survivors will die soon.

When I see that bear-like fierce dog, I think of the wilderness after the Tangshan earthquake, the wolf that eats human flesh in the ruins. A terrible wolf howl sounded in my ears as I passed through the bone-strewn city to the moonlit mountains. For more than thirty years, that nightmare has never left me.

At this moment, I write this suicide note, explaining my life and what is happening underneath the end of the world. Will you believe this to be true? Or do you doubt the meaning of life because of this?

What if, is there tomorrow?

I do not know.

In the future, if there are survivors, whether it is a thousand or ten thousand years from now, or extraterrestrial visiting life, they will find that deep in the dead ruins of the earth, there is still a tomb-like edifice buried. As you carefully descend the stairs to the fourth basement floor, you will find a large pile of rotten wreckage, and a secret door to hell. Of course you have the skills to open this door and come to Hell Change. When you are shocked by the sight of hell and the woman in the burning ox cart, you will unexpectedly discover the secret behind the mural and discover this Pandora's box.

If, you have the courage to open ......

And I have already turned into a ghost, hiding behind you, looking at you who are reading this suicide note.