Luoyang City is still bustling.

Zhang Xiaolei suddenly felt that he didn't like the excitement very much.

When he first came here, he still felt that this big Luoyang was unusual.

It's been a long wait.

He just felt noisy.

As soon as the night butcher returned, he ate and drank everywhere.

Only Zhang Xiaolei sat in the guest room, confused alone.

He has a lot of things that are confused.

How to deal with Lianhe.

Lian He escaped, how to find it?

Found it, how do I get it?

What should he do next?

Over the years, his will for revenge has gradually given him a purpose in life.

But when the revenge is over, what will happen to his life?

In this life that is long but not long, short but short, but short, how will he spend it?

It's fun to talk about the rivers and lakes, but what's the point?

The most romantic thing in life is wandering.

But who wants to wander?

In this boundless world, in this world with no end in sight.

What kind of place does he want to choose to live in the vast and countless lands?

Zhang Xiaolei suddenly felt that where a person lives, he will have a different life.

Even if it's two families in a city, a street, or an alley.

It is possible to face different lives.

There is no end to the world.

Put a seed in it, wait for it to sprout, and no one knows what it will grow.

Even if he chooses a place, how should he spend this life?

The world is big.

There are countless places to live.

There are countless ways to live.

Which is good?

Which is bad?

Woodworker.

Farm.

Graze.

Business.

Study.

Every way you choose a lifestyle comes with a completely different scenario.

Every way you choose a lifestyle brings you a completely different life.

What should he do?

What does he want to do?

Zhang Xiaolei thought that what he should do was to go back to Shao Xiaoling, assist her with peace of mind, and live with her for the rest of her life.

That's what he thinks, too.

But how should he live his life with Shao Xiaoling?

Is this really his best bet?

The Night Butcher suddenly pushed the door open and entered.

His mouth was full of oil, and he shouted to Zhang Xiaolei: "Mr. Zhang, why don't you go down and eat something?" ”

"I'm thinking."

"What do you think?"

Zhang Xiaolei hesitated for a moment, he felt that if he had some brains, he should not discuss it with the Night Butcher.

But he was panicked, and he just wanted to find someone to talk to.

He asked, "How do you think a man can live to be truly alive?" ”

"Then what else do you need to say...... "the night butcher said without thinking," said the night butcher, "to drink wine in a large bowl and eat meat in a big way." ”

Zhang Xiaolei pondered for a while, and he felt that this kind of question was inappropriate.

He asked, "Shall I ask the other way?" “

"Then you ask."

"What kind of person do you want to drink with you when you're drinking? What kind of person do you want to cook for you while you're eating meat? How should that taste? How should the saltiness be? What should we talk about? What's the best place to be when you're enjoying it all? ”

The Night Butcher was silent for a while, then scratched the back of his head and said, "Then how do I know, I once had the privilege of drinking and eating meat by a waterfall, thinking that it was a beautiful scenery in the world, but no one could share it with me. I once had a good three days of drunkenness with a friend, but I was crammed into his moldy and dilapidated house. ”

Zhang Xiaolei nodded and said, "What then?" Have you thought about what to do? ”

"I've thought about taking him to that place and getting drunk with him in that view." The Night Butcher replied.

"But sooner or later you'll finish talking, but sooner or later you'll get tired of seeing the beautiful scenery. When you find out, what you are talking about, eating, drinking, and watching...... It's all so boring, what's next? ”

"I don'......t know," said the Night Butcher in a whisper, "since you don't want to eat yet, I'll go down first." ”

"Go ahead."

The Night Butcher closed the door, leaving Zhang Xiaolei alone, in the room with the door and window closed.

He gradually felt a little cold, and sat down on the bed and curled himself up.

"I'm an incomplete person......"

He thought to himself.

For as long as he can remember, there was only hatred in his heart.

He still remembered that he was confused at the beginning, whether to die or survive.

He couldn't find an answer.

What supports him to live is the hatred and the grievance of wanting to see his father crying.

Daddy saw it.

I couldn't cry out about my grievances.

He didn't want to cry.

He felt that it was useless to cry.

When the things that have sustained him all the way are over, how can he continue to walk?

He began to want to cry.

"I like Xiaoling, I love Xiaoling......" he bit his fingers and kept muttering, "I want to stay with her, I want to watch the sunrise and sunset with her." ”

He constantly talks to himself, telling himself - you are doing well, you don't cry.

And in his head, there were other voices ringing.

"You wanted to follow Li Fengwu, but he still left you."

"In life, can you really stay with her?"

"When illness takes the life of one of you, when boredom replaces the affection between you, you will be alone again."

"Shao Xiaoling is the head of the Shao family, whether she has you or not, she has the Shao family by her side."

"You have pinned the rest of your life on her, if she leaves like Li Fengwu, what is the difference between you and living in the dark?"

He bit his fingers and couldn't hold back his tears.

His fingers gradually bit and bleed, and he whimpered and gasped: "Li Fengwu...... Why did you do that to me. I regard you as a benefactor, and I regard you as a mentor...... You climbed me out of the abyss and pushed me off the cliff with your own hands. ”

For more than ten years.

He wanted to live freely.

It wasn't until he was truly free to live that he found out......

In this life, just thinking about how to survive has to use up the strength of a lifetime.

He suddenly thought: "If one day, Xiaoling doesn't love me anymore......"

A chill sprung up from his body.

He couldn't imagine that day.

He couldn't imagine the day when there was no one in the whole world to accompany him.

He's going back to the way things were......

He didn't want to go back to the way things were.

He buried his head between his knees, tears soaking the satin.

Until the evening, the night butcher suddenly pushed open the door and shouted to Zhang Xiaolei: "Mr. Zhang, don't you still eat?" It's been a day. ”

"I don't know why, I just don't want to eat ......," Zhang Xiaolei said, "I want to rest." ”

"What the hell are you thinking?"

"I was suddenly very uncomfortable, and a sadness surrounded me. I don't know what to say...... I'm ashamed to say it, and I feel miserable. ”

The night butcher was stunned for a moment, and then said impatiently: "Your family has a lot of money, what else can you suffer, you are living a good life, and you are groaning and moaning without illness in the spring and autumn!" ”

That sentence was like a sharp knife stabbing into Zhang Xiaolei's heart, but it made him not want to cry anymore.

He swallowed the discomfort, bit the dry smoking gun, waved his hand tiredly, and squeezed out a smile: "That's right, it's just that I really don't want to eat, you can eat it yourself." ”