"Luo Haoran?"

"Yes. The outside world, still exists? ”

"Yes."

"There is no end of the world?"

"Nope."

Five days later, I have turned into a ghost, hiding behind you, watching you.

You fall in the place where I was buried, under weight and in total darkness, convinced that the end of the world is coming, and you can only wait for death. I know everything you're thinking, and I know you're weaving a murderous fantasy to make up for your hesitation and cowardice in the face of me. You think I've never seen you, you think I'm still hoping that you will save me, but you don't expect me to beg you to kill me.

You're wrong, I know you.

But you'll never remember me.

Rewind the time to five days ago......

I was still alive, still breathing the murky air underground. In addition to the ability to move my hands and head, I was buried in the rubble. The same is true of my beloved Churchill, who screams helplessly, hoping to lure people to save us.

Suddenly, a flash of lightning shot into the dark room.

You came to the half-collapsed movie projection room and shone flashlights at me and Churchill's faces, stabbing me so hard that I couldn't open my eyes.

You recognize me.

And I also recognize you - Ye Xiao, a brilliant police officer, you have been tracking me down and trying to bring me to justice.

But you won't know my past, you won't know the true cause of Chu Ruolan's death, it's a secret that no one can get close to, hidden deep in a core shell that is extremely strong.

Even if you find that suicide note, you will still be deceived by my fabricated memories.

For example, my age, in the household registration file, I am forty years old, in fact, I am only thirty-six years old, and this year is the year of my birth.

That's right, all of my identity, including my family background and educational background, was forged ten years ago. I look like forty because I spent my teenage years in Les Miserables, and therefore appeared overmature, and my face was carved with misery.

I don't know where I was born or what day my birthday is. When I first started remembering, I was wandering around the country. I have a pair of adoptive parents who don't have names but nicknames – my adoptive father is called "Mantou" and my adoptive mother is called "Egg Drop", which is their favorite luxury. And I call it "Big Fork" because I love to draw big forks with my fingers on the sand. The adoptive parents were a pair of homeless people who spoke a standard rural Beijing accent, which made me speak fluent Mandarin later.

Deep in the mountains at the foot of Shaolin Temple, we went from Zhengzhou to Luoyang, of course, we couldn't afford to buy a train ticket, so we took a shortcut and took the mountain trail. In the snow-covered pine forest, we ate the wotou given by the monks of the Shaolin Temple. My adoptive parents told me that they had picked me up in Tangshan, and that there was a cry of a baby at the foot of a barren mountain in the suburbs of a completely collapsed munitions factory. At that time, there was a wild wolf hovering in the moonlight, following the cry to come and take the baby. Out of compassion, the adoptive parents chased away the ferocious wolf with a stick and rescued the dying baby boy from the rubble—the adoptive mother, who had just given birth to her son and died a few days later, looked at me crying in swaddling clothes, and untied her clothes with tears in her eyes. I instinctively bit * and stubbornly survived. I was not qualified to be an earthquake orphan because some people suspected that I was born to a homeless man, and I was stuffed with the government because I couldn't feed myself. In the end, my adoptive mother was really reluctant to leave me, so she took me as her own child and took me with her to embark on a wandering journey.

I've been to almost every place in China, picking up garbage with my adoptive parents for a living, collecting waste cartons and bottles, and going to recycling stations to exchange some money for food. It usually takes more than ten days to eat a piece of steamed bun and a bowl of egg drop soup. My adoptive mother used to take me to sit in front of the scrap glass and look in the mirror, and she said that I was born a beautiful boy and that many girls would like me when I grew up—and she would shed tears as she spoke, thinking of her dead son or that I would never be able to get a wife in the future. When I was a child, I was very smart, and my adoptive father taught me a few words, but he himself only read until the third grade of elementary school. One year, when we were passing through the countryside of Zhejiang Province to recycle industrial waste for a township factory, I always leaned under the window of a rural primary school and eavesdropped on their lessons. For this reason, I was often beaten, sometimes my head was bleeding, and my adoptive parents did not dare to ask for an explanation. Later, I met a volunteer teacher from the city, who asked me to sit in class and gave me a set of old textbooks. That year, I learned more than 1,000 Chinese characters and got the highest grades in school on my sixth-grade exam paper — but I wasn't eligible to continue studying, and when my classmates went to junior high school, I followed my adoptive parents to the South.

When I was thirteen years old, we were picking up garbage on a construction site in Shenzhen when our adoptive mother was hit by a collapsed crane and died. My adoptive father held me and cried for several days and nights until I was forcibly put in a shelter and sent out of Guangdong in a big truck.

Five years later, on that cold winter, my adoptive father and I could no longer find scrap to pick up, and we starved for days and were reduced to begging on the streets. We unfortunately met the chengguan. I was kicked by the chengguan, and my adoptive father went up to theorize angrily, but was beaten by a group of chengguan and died on the spot in the white snow. I hugged his corpse and looked at the bright red blood on the snow, and I could no longer shed a single tear - more than a decade later, I sent people to that city to find out the chengguan who had taken the lead in beating people, and then caused a traffic accident in which the brute was run over by a truck.

After my adoptive father died, I picked up a coal train and arrived in this big city on the eastern coast.

That year, I met her.

"You killed Chu Ruolan? Reply! Be? Or not? ”

"Yes."

"You're still a man."

"Do you want to kill me?"

"I ......" In the half-collapsed movie projection room, Ye Xiao put on gloves and picked up a piece of broken glass from the ground, the sharp breach emitted a cold light, and the barking of the Labrador Retriever sounded in his ears, "I have been waiting for this day for nearly a year." ”

That year, I was eighteen years old.

I wore a white-washed jacket, white striped blue sweatpants, and a pair of old sneakers from the trash. Through the window of the barber shop on the street, I could clearly see my face, with a pair of large, silent eyes, my fair skin slightly tanned, and my black hair, which was often washed with cold water, was not disheveled and did not smell. I'm taller than many city kids, and even though I haven't eaten any nutritious food since I was a child, I haven't even tasted much milk. My short and thin adoptive parents have always guessed that my biological parents must be tall and handsome, maybe they are still "art workers".

It was a late autumn afternoon, and the sun was shining through the sycamore leaves and onto the glass door of the barbershop. When I looked at myself in the "mirror" and put on the expression of Wu Qilong in the street advertisement, the door suddenly opened and a girl walked out. She had just finished her haircut, which seemed to be only slightly trimmed and tied in a long ponytail. She was wearing a big white sweater and looked me coldly in the eyes. It took me a few seconds before I realized I was in her way. I shyly bowed my head, stepped aside and whispered, "I'm sorry." ”

"It's okay."

She seemed polite and cultured, and hurriedly walked past me. When I looked up at her, I didn't expect her to look back at me too, and the eyes of the two people collided, and I could see the doubt in her heart - how could this person dress like a hillbilly and look like a city person? Why stand in front of the barbershop and look in the mirror? Is it perverted? However, he is quite handsome......

She didn't go far, but went to a rented bookstore on the street, and after feeling in her pocket for a long time, she realized that all the money had been used up in the barbershop. The boss said it was the last one and would soon be borrowed. When she was about to leave disappointed, I rushed up to her, pulled the last coin out of my pocket, and stammered, "I...... I...... Lend you ......"

She took a half-step back alertly: "Who are you?" ”

"I ...... No...... Bad guy ......"

My standard Mandarin is a rarity in the city, and it's normal for such a beautiful girl to be scared about it. She stared at me for a moment, probably spotting some unusual innocence in my eyes, and she accepted, "Thank you." I'll give it back to you tomorrow. ”

So, she borrowed the Dragon Ball.

That night, I couldn't even afford half a flatbread, and spent the night hungry under the bridge.

The next day, at the same time, I went to the door of the rental bookstore again, straightened my hair, cleaned my clothes, and pretended to be standing there in the wind.

Here she comes.

It's still so beautiful, and her hair is no longer tied in a ponytail, but draped over her shoulders. But she's not alone.

She was followed by two boys, who looked like her classmates, both tall and skinny, and the girls liked them. One of the boys pulled out a dollar, shoved it into my hand and said, "Thank you." ”

Then another boy stared at me with a strange look, half out of suspicion, half out of sympathy.

He whispered to the boy, "Ye Xiao, do you think this person is strange?" ”

"Well, it's the one who lives under the bridge."

And the girl took their hands and said, "Zhou Xuan, Ye Xiao, can you accompany me to the game room?" ”

The three of them walked side by side, and I will always remember those two names.

That year, there were still many old houses in this bustling metropolis, and you could still see flocks of pigeons flying under the open sky, and high school students leaving school under the eaves in the alleys. There is no garbage dump in the vicinity, and sanitation workers come every day to collect garbage. And if I want to collect waste products, I must have at least a dozen yuan of capital, but I can't even collect waste cartons. I was going to leave to live in a scrapyard in the suburbs, but I decided to stay anyway - to see the girl every day, to see her carrying her schoolbag to school at dawn, to see her go out of school with the two boys, to see her come home and light up the lights to review her homework, to see her figure behind the curtains before the lights went out in the middle of the night.

I soon learned her name, Ruolan.

However, I still didn't make a penny, and it became more and more difficult to go to bed hungry every night and go to the back door of the restaurant to pick up leftovers. Until one day, I was so hungry that I snuck into the house of a man who forgot to close the door. The entrance of this house is along the alley, and there is a cement pier outside the wall, and I can lie under the eaves without wind and rain, and I often hide here and look at the sky stupidly. I found out that the house was small, but it had a huge refrigerator, and I pulled open the door and pulled out a pile of cooked food, crouched by the wall and gobbled it up. However, when my master heard the commotion, he ran out and picked me up and beat me violently.

He was a laid-off worker in his 40s, and he stayed at home all day with nothing to do, so he would leave his door open in broad daylight. However, under my repeated pleading, he quickly lowered his fist and poured me a glass of water instead, so that I would not choke on eating too much. I held back my tears and knelt in front of him to apologize. He was moved by compassion, believed everything I said, and simply let me sleep under the eaves of his house, and occasionally left me with uneaten leftovers. And I promise that I will never break into his house again, I will not stain the exterior wall of his house, and I will definitely go to the public toilet to solve it. He also lent me twenty dollars to help me make ends meet.

So, I started collecting waste paper in the neighborhood for a living, walking from house to house, holding a pile of waste newspapers and a market scale, which people could understand at a glance. My price is fairer than others, anyway, I'm not a greedy person, as long as I earn money to eat flatbread and steamed buns. I quickly paid off the twenty yuan, changed into cheap new clothes, went to the bathhouse to wash myself clean, and boldly appeared at Ruolan's door.

I still didn't dare say a word to her, even though she didn't have the two teenagers by her side. Sometimes she would see me and smile when she looked at me, and she didn't seem to be wary of me, because I was pretty well organized.

Once, when I was walking almost side by side with her, and when I couldn't help but try to talk to her, she preemptively said, "Why do you keep following me?" ”

I shook my head shyly. "No, it's just a coincidence."

"You just follow me, and you hide downstairs in my house at night."

"I'm sorry!" I'm not a liar.

And she shook her ponytail and said, "It's a good thing I didn't tell my two male classmates about this, otherwise they would have come to beat you." ”

"Oh, thank you."

"My name is Ruolan, but I don't know your name yet."

"I-" I grew up without a name, only a nickname "Big Fork", and even my adoptive parents called me that, "I don't have a name." ”

"No name?"

"Yes, I didn't lie to you."

Although, I believe that my expression is sincere, Ruolan's eyes clearly write - you are lying to me.

"Let me think about it." Passing by an audio-visual store, she pointed to Luo Jialiang's poster on the window and said, "Your surname is Luo." Name, I was reciting Li Bai's "Gift to Meng Haoran" in the Chinese textbook last night, you are called Luo Haoran. ”

"Luo Haoran?"

"That's a good name, it sounds like a big shot."

"Me? Big shot? Thinking of this, I burst out laughing myself.

As the two of us laughed together, the window of a house overhead opened, and a housewife stuck her head out and shouted, "Hey! Scrap collectors! Come to my house and collect old newspapers! ”

My face changed suddenly, and I was ashamed to let her know about my profession. And she slowly took two steps back and whispered, "Go ahead." ”

I gave the woman upstairs a roll of the eyes, and when I turned around, Ruolan was gone.

"Even the police are going to kill me?"

"Luo Haoran, if you kill someone, you should pay for your life."

"Yes."

"But even if I catch you, they may not sentence you to death, and they may release you soon!"

"Maybe. But I never wanted to kill Ruolan. ”

"Don't deny it!"

"Every one of you wants to kill me!"

That winter, the streets were full of Jacky Cheung's songs.

The high school students of Siyi Middle School had winter vacation, and I saw Ruolan and Zhou Xuan together every day, but I didn't see Ye Xiao. I once squatted by the wall and heard Zhou Xuan tell Ruolan from a distance that Ye Xiao had returned to his parents' house in Xinjiang for the New Year.

On Chinese New Year's Eve, I hid under the eaves in front of the laid-off workers' homes, covered with a bed of torn quilts, several layers of thick cardboard boxes, and a few asbestos tiles to block the firecrackers set off by every household. When I was overwhelmed by the sound of firecrackers, I heard a fierce argument coming from the window. The laid-off workers, as well as their wives and daughters, hated me and felt that it was unlucky and dangerous for a homeless man to live outside the wall. From then on, the laid-off worker no longer dared to talk to me, and his wife went to the neighborhood committee to drive me out of her house. However, outside the walls of her house is a public place, and no one has the right to drive me away. I don't want to go back to live under the bridge, which is dark and damp and there are always murders, I just want to hide in this small alley where I can see Ruolan pass by every day.

On the first day of the Lunar New Year, it snowed heavily, and I wore a military coat I picked up, and I walked to the door of Ruolan's house with running shoes stuffed with torn cotton on my feet.

She was building a snowman in front of her house, and I stood quietly in the snow and watched her, not daring to approach, as if there was something dirty on me, and if I took a step forward, it would stain the clean snowman or make it melt in an instant. Snowflakes gradually covered my hair and clothes, and I looked more like a snowman myself.

She came up to me and shouted, "Are you cold? ”

I have been wandering all year round, and I have become accustomed to sleeping on the streets in winter wearing a single coat wrapped in a quilt, and I am not very afraid of the cold.

"Nope."

"Why don't you speak?"

Faced with Ruolan's question, I lowered my head and really stopped talking.

"Come and build a snowman with me, okay?"

She surprised me by her initiative, and I slowly walked up to her and dusted the snow off my hair and eyebrows.

Half an hour later, she and I built the perfect snowman.

When we each grabbed the snow and put it on, the four hands happened to touch each other - the hand that had touched the snow looked cold, but in fact it felt very hot, and the roots of my ears were red, so I quickly retracted my hand.

Looking at this beautiful snowman, Ruolan touched its eyes and said, "Thank you, Luo Haoran." ”

I didn't expect her to remember the name she gave me casually: "Do you remember? ”

"Of course, you stalker who stare at me every day!"

"I'm sorry." I took two steps back in fear, lest she would call for someone to come and get me.

"But you're not a bad person—are you?"

"How do you know?"

"Because." She slowly approached me, "I trust your eyes. ”

"Eyes?" I touched my eyelashes and stroked away a snowflake that had just landed.

"Goodbye, I'm going home for lunch." Ruolan showed a charming smile and waved at me, "Come on, big shot!" ”

She went home, and in the white snow, only the snowman I had built with my own hands was left. Big shot? Is that hope or mockery?

In the next few days, I saw Zhou Xuan come to Ruolan to play, they went out to set off firecrackers together, went to other classmates' homes, and took the bus to farther places. Whenever they were together, I didn't dare to appear in front of her, looking at the dirty military coat on my body, and then looking at the brand-new down jacket that Zhou Xuan was wearing, I really didn't have the face to come out.

Every night, when I slept behind a cement pier, I heard the noise of laid-off workers' homes. Sometimes, his wife deliberately poured cold water on my face, drenching me from head to toe, so that I could only go to the fire under the bridge where the homeless gathered to change my clothes, and if I hadn't been young and in good health, I would have been sick and even dead from the cold.

On the fourth day of the Lunar New Year, the God of Wealth was greeted on this night, and fireworks were everywhere. The laid-off workers, who had little money, put up a hoist in front of their house and threw my quilt in the trash. Now I was completely homeless, so I could only wander around along the base of the wall to the legendary "ghost building".

This three-storey building is in the deepest part of the alley, and legend has it that the people in it committed mass suicide decades ago, leaving behind all kinds of haunted rumors, and no one dares to live in it again. I'm also afraid of ghosts, otherwise I would have moved into this huge empty house a long time ago.

I sat at the bottom of the "ghost building" in a daze, feeling the cold wind blowing from the ground, and when I looked up, I found a faint lamp in the window on the third floor - the building had long been out of power, where did the light come from? Unless it's a candle.

The windows on the third floor were covered with dust, and no one had lived in them for many years. But in the candlelight of the window, there was a ghostly figure flashing. I was so frightened that I fled outside the "ghost building", listening to the sound of firecrackers one after another, and emboldened myself.

Suddenly, I saw a person walking out of the "ghost building", wearing a white down jacket and a hood, so that people couldn't see her face clearly - was she?

I got closer to see clearly, but I heard her scream, it turned out to be Ruolan!

She didn't see my face, she just turned and fled in the other direction until she was no longer visible.

I looked back at the "ghost building" again, and the candlelight in the window on the third floor was extinguished. What is she here for? You can't be here to hunt ghosts, right?

Winter passed quickly. Ye Xiao came back from distant Xinjiang, and they entered the most difficult third stage of high school, and there was even less chance of meeting Ruolan alone.

I could only watch her go out every morning, and every time she saw me, she would send a smile. But after the spring blossoms, I never saw her smile again. Occasionally, I was alone a few times, but she went out on the weekend to get a bottle of soy sauce, and I happened to bump into me collecting old goods. Seeing her always sad face, I wanted to ask her what was going on, but I was afraid that the more I talked to her, I couldn't help but say what was in my heart—I liked her very much.

No, I can't say it, I'm just a tramp who collects rags, and any normal girl won't like me, let alone such a beautiful Ruolan. Stop being whimsical, and don't try to humiliate yourself. Maybe she'll tell her parents that I'll be kicked out of the neighborhood and she'll soon forget about me, including my face and my name.

In the spring, I went back to the laid-off worker's house for the night, trying to stay as far away as possible from the walls and windows of his house, but I kept hearing his wife's insults. Until one night, when I was asleep, someone suddenly came to me - homeless people like us, we must be vigilant when we sleep every day, otherwise we will not know that we will be killed. I grabbed the man's hand, only to find out that it was a laid-off worker. He said that it would cool down tonight, and that he was worried about catching a cold when he saw me sleeping like this, so he added a thick blanket to me. I thanked him gratefully and went back to sleep.

Before dawn, there was a rush of footsteps in the alley. Sensing some kind of danger, I rolled over and jumped to escape, but I was firmly pressed to the ground by several pairs of large hands, and at the same time handcuffs were hanging on my hands.

I saw three policemen, as well as a laid-off worker and his wife, and the woman said to the policeman, "That's him!" Broke into my house in the middle of the night and stole money! ”

"I didn't!"

I loudly defended myself, but it was all in vain. The police searched my pocket for a passbook with the names of the laid-off workers written on it, which contained hundreds of dollars in laid-off wages - last night, he did not come to put blankets on me, but framed me, and quietly stuffed the passbook into my pocket, just to drive me away from the door of the house and never see me as a scourge.

I've been collecting waste in this neighborhood for half a year, and I've never done anything bad, and my neighbors have a good impression of me. But since I was caught by the police, no one has said a good word for me. The police even told me that every household in the alley said that I was not a good thing, and that I was the scum of society who was petty theft, and strongly recommended that the police deal with me seriously.

I was sentenced to a year of re-education through labor, sent to a re-education through labor management center, locked up with a group of ruffians and scoundrels, and brutally raped by a few brutes because they said I was tender and pretty—and then I tried to find and kill them, but I couldn't find them anymore.

A year later, I came out of the labor camp scarred, and my appearance changed so much that I thought I was no longer human, but a demon.

However, on the day I was released, I went to the old house in the city center.

I wanted to see Ruolan and tell her out loud that I liked her – even though I was a shameful "two-labor worker".

However, Ruolan disappeared, along with her parents.

I asked a lot of questions before I got the answer—the day after I was arrested by the police, the Ruolan family left the city and moved the family to somewhere in the south. The house belonged to Uncle Ruolan's family, and her aunt, a vicious long-tongued woman, quickly spread the scandal.

It turned out that in the spring of that year, Ruolan's parents found out that their daughter was pregnant. She never said who the father of the child was, and refused to go to the hospital to remove the child. She said that her homework was very poor, and she probably couldn't get into college, so it was better to give birth to her child and go out early to find a job to support her family. Her parents wept over this, but they couldn't change their daughter's mind. In the end, the parents were shameless, and quietly went through the withdrawal procedures for Ruolan, and the family moved south overnight. In the autumn of that year, Ruolan gave birth to a boy in another place.

I hate them! Hate the people who live in this old house! One day, I will tear down all this house and build a building, so that these seemingly proud city people, the residents who have lived here for generations, who despise me, bully me, and abandon me, will also taste the same homeless wandering taste as me!

I hate the laid-off worker's family even more, and they vilely framed me. He had a conspicuous snout that I would recognize at a glance years later—and he didn't remember my face until I killed him underground.

"Nope! No! ”

"Luo Haoran, I'm a policeman, I represent the law, I can't kill you."

Seeing Ye Xiao put down the broken glass piece, Luo Haoran shouted loudly: "Are you afraid? Don't you dare to kill me? Are you afraid of being found out? Are you afraid of going to jail? ”

"It's not."

"You really don't have to be afraid, everyone here wants to kill me, any survivor can be the murderer who killed me, no one will suspect you!"

"Do you want to die so much?"

"Ye Xiao, I know you want to kill me, your eyes are already full of hatred - please kill me."

From the age of 20 to 26, as a "two-labor worker", I suffered all kinds of hardships and humiliations, and there were many scars on my body and heart. I still live a life of wandering, often fighting dogs over a meat bun. I also used the money I earned to start a business and open a roadside restaurant and grocery store, but each time I was shut down by the urban management, industry and commerce, and health departments in the name of illegal business. Only then did I realize that a person who came down from the "mountain" has no background and capital, no matter how hard and smart he is, the possibility of success in starting a business is almost zero.

Ten years ago, during the Spring Festival, I was in a city on the northern coast. I was beaten by the chengguan again, robbed the last dozens of dollars from my body, and came to the beach in desperation, ready to step into the icy sea water and end this humble life, only to find that there was a person struggling in the sea. I immediately rescued the man and almost took my own life. It was a young woman, ordinary in appearance but not ugly, and a decent person judging by her clothes. She had choked on a lot of seawater and was dying, and I used all kinds of methods to finally wake her up.

She opened her eyes, looked at my face, and the first thing she said was, "Are you an angel?" ”

I understood what the angel meant, and I blinked and said, "No, I'm a demon." ”

She almost died, her complexion suddenly recovered, from pain to smile, and then laughed: "Okay! I don't want to kill myself anymore. ”

I picked her up from the beach to the paybox and borrowed a dollar from a passerby to make a call. A few minutes later, a Mercedes sedan pulled up to the side of the road and picked us up at a 5 star hotel. She opened a luxurious suite, took a shower and changed clothes, and bought me an Armani suit. To thank me for saving my life, she invited me to a Western meal.

After two days of starvation, I ate four steaks in one go, and she looked at me in surprise and said, "Are you a starving ghost?" ”

"Yes." I'm really not lying. I couldn't hold back my burp, took a sip of red wine and asked, "Why kill yourself?" ”

"To wait for someone."

"Who?"

"You."

She stared into my eyes. Although I was poor and had never seen the world, I was not an idiot and I knew she liked me.

"Okay."

"I don't know your name yet."

"My name is -" I wanted to say the three words "Luo Haoran", but I remembered Ruolan's face, so I casually said another name, "Tangshan." ”

"What a strange name."

"Because, I was born in Tangshan."

"Me too."

Later, she told her story. She was two years older than me, born into a well-known red family, and her grandfather was an underground worker of our party who broke into the Kuomintang secret service, and was later betrayed by traitors and died in prison. During the "*" period, her father was knocked down from a high position, and the family was sent to a military factory on the outskirts of Tangshan, where a major earthquake struck. Her mother and three older brothers were killed, and the whereabouts of her newborn brother are unknown – and I couldn't help but cry when I heard this.

She took my hand and whispered softly in my ear, "You are my angel." ”

A few years ago, her father died, and many big names came to the memorial service. Because of this relationship, she began to go to the sea to do business, and she had hundreds of millions of assets at a young age. Her father's friends arranged many blind dates for her before his death, but she refused. She has also met men who have pursued her like crazy. Finally once, she fell in love, and an actor swore to love her for the rest of his life, only to find out that he was only for her money and power.

After this blow, she decided to commit suicide.

I looked at her face and couldn't help but feel more and more kind. That night, she ushered me into her room, and I insisted on not touching her body and ran away.

I ran away not out of fear, but because I knew that once I got into her bed, I would never be able to be looked down upon by her again.

There is another reason - Tangshan.

However, we still kept in close contact, and she placed me in a position in her company where I learned how to manage the company and run the business – I learned everything very quickly, even faster than anyone with a professional background. She said I was a genius and sent me to learn English, accounting, finance...... Many people have a talent that takes years of practice to master, and I can learn it in just a few weeks.

I became accustomed to wearing a suit and tie every day, and seeing my noble appearance in the mirror, like a movie star and more like a "successful person", and her little bird leaning on my shoulder, often made me shyly turn sideways.

She told me her secret – she had congenital heart disease, which could have been life-threatening if she hadn't taken medication right away.

And I'm open about my past. Instead of despising me, she was full of compassion and care. She went to the relevant departments for me to go through the relationship, erased all my shameful experience, and rewrote an excellent resume for me, even including a red family background.

A few months later, she offered to marry me, and I hadn't really touched her body yet. She has decided that I am a decent gentleman and a man worthy of being entrusted with my life.

After we registered our marriage, she gave me the position of chairman and legal representative. She said that she was a woman after all, and what she hated most was business. She quit all company affairs and concentrated on being a full-time wife. From then on, I was in charge of the entire company, as well as all her personal property, which was an astronomical sum that could not have been imagined at the time.

Three months after we got married, we went on a honeymoon trip. At a resort on a small island in South Africa, she suddenly had a sharp pain in her mouth and asked me to take the medicine out of her bag, while I deliberately spilled the pills on the ground. She watched this scene, and before she could say a word, she died.

I inherited all of her property—perhaps it was mine.

I don't want anyone else to know about all this, I don't want people to think that all my wealth comes from a woman. So, I used her social connections again, not only changed the file information, deleted all the previous information, but also changed my name to "Luo Haoran".

"That's a good name, it sounds like a big shot."

Ruolan's voice always echoed in his ears.

In the shortest possible time, I liquidated the original company and used the huge amount of money to re-register a new company, Future Dream Real Estate Development Co., Ltd. While others were developing residential properties, I focused on commercial real estate and built several Future Dream Buildings across the country, developing into a large-scale commercial real estate group.

Now, you should understand why I can't find out what happened to me in the past, right?

Whether it is the tragic wandering childhood, or the shameful experience of re-education through labor, or the history of marrying a rich woman of the second generation of officials, it is absolutely impossible for people to know. I had to delete all of that, and I had to keep a low profile forever, not to be in front of the camera, and not to be in the media. Only the company's senior executives and a few people in the headquarters can see my true face. I don't need any commercial hype, I just need to open up the joints and I can make money quietly.

In 10 years, my wealth has multiplied tenfold.

"Wouldn't it be too cheap to kill you like that? Luo Haoran, I want all the evil things you have done to be made public in court, so that you can spend the rest of your life in prison. ”

"Court? I'm sorry, but you're too naïve as a cop, aren't you? There's no way I'm going to court, I'm not even going to be prosecuted. Well, you know. ”

"Shut up!"

"Ye Xiao, if you want to take revenge, there is no other way than to kill me now."

"No, I'm not going to kill you!"

Ye Xiao, I don't know what you think.

However, after so many years, I have never forgotten Ruolan.

I sent someone to look for her, hoping to see her again. However, she was never heard from along with her parents and son. Some people say that her family has emigrated abroad, and others say that she has long since died.

Seven years ago, I met eighteen-year-old Mo Xing'er by chance.

She looks a lot like Ruolan, and if she is still alive, you will definitely have a special feeling for her.

I'm sorry, I took possession of her by some despicable means.

Unfortunately, all I got was endless remorse.

From that night on, I never dared to see the innocent girl again, and I heard that she had broken her bones in a suicide attempt by jumping off a building, and that her father had also committed suicide soon after.

Four years ago, I finally returned to the city.

I fulfilled my vow and bought this piece of land in the center of the city, and I wanted to tear down all the old houses that gave me sad memories and build the headquarters of the Future Dream Building, so that the indifferent and selfish people who lived here would all be driven to the distant suburbs, and they would become "countrymen" that I would despise.

Among them, there was a "nail household" who took the lead in resisting the demolition, and someone passed the person's information to me, and I found out that it was Ruolan!

She returned, but as a single mother with her thirteen-year-old son.

In the middle of the night, I sent someone to call her and offered to give the high compensation demanded by all the residents. Then I sent a car to take her to a suburban hotel.

Sure enough, it was her!

Many years have passed, from a girl to a young woman, but it is still the same face, the face that has appeared in my dreams countless times.

Of course, she didn't recognize me at first, and sometimes I didn't recognize my own face.

I approached her and reminded, "Do you remember Luo Haoran?" ”

It's a pity that Ruolan even forgot this name.

"Have you forgotten the boy who lent you a dollar to rent Dragon Ball? Forgot to join you in the ragged collection of snowmen on the New Year's Day? You forgot ......."

"Is that you?" She showed the surprise I expected, furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head, "Are you really- becoming a big shot?" ”

"How are you?"

"I'm fine."

Hearing her answer, my heart was very sour: "You didn't tell the truth, how did you come over all these years?" ”

"Do you know about my pregnancy? Mom and Dad didn't want this to get the word out, so they went through the withdrawal procedures for me and quietly moved to the south. I gave birth to a son there, saved some money from a small business, and cut off all contact with the place. Until a car accident a year ago and my mom and dad passed away. It happened that my uncle and aunt emigrated abroad, so I came back with my children and inherited the ancestral old house. ”

"Who is the child's father?"

"I can't say."

"I can help you raise him."

My gaze was so sincere.

In an instant, there was a hint of hesitation in her eyes, but she shook her head resolutely and said, "No, I'm going home." ”

I grabbed her firmly. She was left silently more than ten years ago, and this time she must not miss it again.

"Let it go!"

"Don't go anywhere, you don't have to worry about your son, I will treat him like my own son."

Before the words fell, a heavy slap slapped me in the face, I couldn't help but let go, Ruolan had climbed to the windowsill, opened the window and shouted: "Don't come here!" One step closer, and I'll jump! ”

"Ruolan, have you forgotten? Did you like me when we were building a snowman? ”

"No, really not, don't be sentimental! How is this possible? A kid who collects rags? A homeless man sleeping outside someone else's house? I can't possibly like you, it's all your own fantasy - not in the past, and not now! ”

"No!"

I reached out to grab her, and she instinctively shrank back, but she didn't expect to step on the soles of her feet and fall unexpectedly.

It was really an accident!

She died, her head hit the ground, and her cervical vertebrae were broken.

I killed Ruolan?

Tears, tears that hadn't been shed in years, wet my cheeks and collar.

I hugged her and cried for a long time, kissing her lips until she became cold and stiff.

Of course, I have to hide everything that happens here. I got a gangster, paid him a large fee, got him a black car without a license plate, loaded Ruolan's body into the car, and drove to the bottom of the lake on the outskirts of the lake - if I couldn't find the body, it would be impossible to prosecute me for homicide.

Ruolan died, and my last hope of becoming a human was shattered.

Soon, the old house was completely demolished and my future dream building was built. In the process of laying the foundation, some tombs of the Ming Dynasty were indeed discovered, but there were no so-called Song Dynasty temples and "Hell Changes" murals. It was a secret room that I had secretly built during the construction of the building, and I hired a traditional Japanese painter to paint the hell according to my imagination. As for the woman in the burning ox cart, it is depicted in the image of Ruolan - when you see this mural, you must feel déjà vu.

For the past three years, I have lived on the top floor of the Future Dream Hotel, on top of the old house where I wandered when I was a teenager, and in the air of the old house where Ruolan lived. Every night, I still dream of her, of the white snow, of the snowman melting.

Actually, I was scared.

Living in a nineteen-story building, every time I look at the world outside the window, I have a feeling that I am about to collapse and collapse. Only my Churchill can give me a moment of peace. The executives around me are all mercenary, and they are all self-conscious on weekdays, but they are just looking at the money, as well as my relationship with the elite. I never told them about my past, but I always hinted that I had someone in Beijing, but it was inconvenient to say it, which made the executives think that my backstage was too expensive.

Over the years, in addition to dreaming of Ruolan, I often dreamed of my miserable childhood, dreaming of wandering around with my adoptive parents, everyone looked down on me, they beat me, scolded me, insulted me, and treated me like a dog.

If, all of a sudden, I have no money and no power, everything will go back to square one, twenty years ago......

And my mystery is maintained by throwing money at it. If the Future Dream Group collapses, tens of thousands of people will lose their jobs overnight, and there will be many unfinished buildings across the country, it will definitely become the focus of attention of tens of thousands of people. The media and the public will not let me go, and netizens who are good at human flesh search will not let me go, and even the Ark will come to beat me for my fake academic qualifications and background...... The whole world will soon know about my past, about those shameful pasts, and even about my cellmates when I was in re-education through labor!

Yes, as you may know by now, as early as a year ago, the future dream group's operating conditions began to deteriorate dramatically. Not only because of the country's macroeconomic control, but also because of the increasing cost of buying land, and the global economic situation is not good, my overseas investment has suffered serious losses. I could only make false accounts in the group's financial statements, but by last month, the funding chain had been broken, and I still owed billions of debts to banks and suppliers. Executives will resign en masse, and all employees will not be paid......

So, I decided to commit suicide to avoid the humiliation of living alive, and the time was set for April Fool's Day.

April 1. Sunday. Night, 22:19.

I opened the window and stepped out of the presidential suite on the nineteenth floor of the Future Dream Hotel.

Strangely, I saw a person crawling out on the windowsill in the next room, and he was going to kill himself?

At this moment, I saw a brilliant aurora lit up in the distance.

"Ye Xiao, you really don't dare to kill me? Okay, can you do me a favor and put that piece of broken glass in my hand. ”

"Luo Haoran, what do you want to do?"

"Don't worry, I'm crushed in the rubble now, and it's impossible to hurt you, let alone escape."

"What do you want to do?"

"Please! Give me that piece of broken glass! There must be others behind you, and if they break in, there's no more chance! ”

"What do you want to do?"

"Do for you what you don't dare to do."

Ye Xiao was silent for half a minute, and in the violent barking of dogs, he picked up the broken glass on the ground and slowly put it in Luo Haoran's hand.

"Thank you!"

Doomsday?

Next, I spent seven days and seven nights underground.

I thought that the outside world was destroyed, that no one would find out my secrets, and that there would be no such thing as the future dream group going bankrupt. I can live underground with peace of mind, whether it's for a day or a year! My desire to survive is so strong that I want to not only survive myself, but also help others through this difficult time. I recognized Mo Xing'er and knew that she wanted to kill me, but she never did it, and I didn't provoke her. Even, when I recognized that the old man with a slump nose was the laid-off worker who framed me back then, I gave up the idea of killing him.

Ye Xiao, haven't you read my suicide note? Do you believe everything I write? Have you been deceived by me again? Yes, my background and my sister are all delusions that have been accumulating in my mind over the past few years. I forced myself to believe, and almost forgot the real past. I imagined myself coming from a red family, my father was once in a high position, and my mother and three older brothers died in the earthquake - maybe it's all true, but unfortunately I can't confirm it. I replaced Ruolan with my sister, the daughter of a small citizen who was indifferent to me, and in my imagination became a relative with my childhood sweetheart, and finally became a dry skeleton at the bottom of the lake.

Ye Xiao, have you forgotten that when you were in middle school, you asked Zhou Xuan to ghostwrite a love letter for you? Have you forgotten your best friend's handwriting? I can't write that beautifully!

Do you understand? This time it's also a ghostwriter! Under the gaze of the mural of "Hell Changes", my oral life - my "delusional life", recorded by Zhou Xuan, and there is no lack of editing and processing by the writer, this will be his last work.

Of course, if he knew my secret, I was afraid that he would kill me on the spot.

On the fifth night, Mo Xing'er came into my room and brought up the old story to kill me. But she didn't have the guts to kill me. I could have killed her when she left in tears—but would I have killed Ruolan? As long as she still has this face.

Churchill rubbed my thigh, and perhaps it was his cloudy teary eyes that saved my life.

When I broke the rules I had set and lit a cigarette outside the door, I didn't know that Mo Xing'er was being raped. I had already discovered the rapist's secret from the surveillance, but I didn't tell it – my silence created appeasement.

The last day, in the early hours of the morning.

I killed two people.

I'm sorry, I'm just relieving their pain. For example, the seriously injured old man with a slumped nose, maggots have grown in his wounds, and he is tormented by piercing pain all the time, and it is better to die than to live like this. I don't think he remembered me until he died, and he didn't repent of being framed seventeen years ago.

As for the homeless, even if the world hadn't been destroyed, he would have starved and suffered, and no one would have looked at him more than that—I bet the other survivors hadn't even noticed his presence. I felt no guilt, I felt like a savior.

When I was wandering alone on the seventh floor, I was kidnapped by Xiaoguang, and I realized that he was Ruolan's son.

When Xiaoguang made up his mind to kill me, he made the same mistake as Mo Xing'er - he didn't dare to kill.

He didn't have that face that I can't forget. It would be a greater danger to leave him behind, after all, he is not a woman, and he may pick up the idea of killing again at any time.

I'm sorry, Ruolan.

I killed Hikaru Kokari.

Unexpectedly, he was discovered by Zhou Xuan, and he began to hunt me down. Of course, as long as I hid in the secret passage, all his efforts would be in vain.

I put the "suicide note" written by Zhou Xuan on my behalf behind the mural of "Hell Changes" in the deepest part, and quietly waited for death to come.

But why are you showing up? Ye Xiao, your appearance means that there is no end of the world, only the Future Dream Mansion has sunk into the ground. The government is still making every effort to rescue it, and may have declared the Future Dream Group bankrupt. Various media outlets have conducted in-depth investigations, especially against me, who has always been mysterious. Those who are everywhere will surely seize many of my tricks and discover my tragic childhood and teenage experiences, leaving me in jail, humiliated by the public, and greeted by the mob on the Internet – it's better to live than to die!

It's better to die! It's better to die!! It's better to die!!

Just when the end of the world comes! When we and you are all dead! Just like there's nothing left! It should be a white expanse, and the land is really clean!

Why do men live?

For the sake of dignity.

If you don't kill me, let me kill me.

Farewell!

Ye Xiao, Zhou Xuan, Ruolan......

Luo Haoran's right hand, which could still move, grabbed the sharp piece of broken glass and cut his throat.

Blood splattered far away, the movie projection room was filled with the barking of fear, Luo Haoran's eyes widened and twitched a few times.

He's dead.

Ye Xiao watched him commit suicide from afar, without getting a drop of blood.

Churchill, a Labrador Retriever, was another eyewitness.

Watching Luo Haoran die, looking at his gradually cloudy eyes, Ye Xiao trembled rarely.

What's going on underground? And what is it about a person like him who is so desperate and just wants to die? In Ye Xiao's logic, all people in the world have the possibility of committing suicide, but it is impossible for a traitor like Luo Haoran.

So, Ye Xiao decided to disguise this suicide case as homicide.

Ye Xiao buried Luo Haoran's hands in the rubble - so that there was no possibility of suicide. And the blood on Luo Haoran's hands, because he was already injured, is also normal.

Amid the barking of the Labradoodle, Ye Xiao sat in the half-collapsed dark room in a daze.

When he was thirteen years old, he walked through the old street with Zhou Xuan, and heard the song playing on the tape recorder -

"What if there is a tomorrow? How do you want to dress your face? If there is no tomorrow, how can you say goodbye? ”

It's not the people who are trapped underground.