I want to see the city we yearn for before this winter is over. Go and see the mountains for you, and the sea for you.

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In the next few days, my sister-in-law and I went back and forth between the hotel and the hospital at two o'clock. When I have nothing to do, I go shopping and buy travel supplies that I am about to use when I am about to go out.

My sister-in-law gave me a red suitcase with the largest size of Rimowa, which means that I can say goodbye to the past once and for all. Then I bought everything from toiletries to a change of clothes, cosmetics, and sunglasses...... waited for all kinds of things, until the box was full, and then she nodded with satisfaction.

I looked at her funny look and wanted to hug her, but I didn't.

I don't know why, among my relatives, I always can't learn to say thank you seriously.

——————————

The day before I left, I went to see Lin Paris, who was being held in a detention center on the outskirts of the city, and it took me a lot of effort to find out.

She agreed to see me anyway, and I don't know if she had struggled as much as I did. We looked at each other through the huge glass and didn't say a word.

She seemed to have lost a lot of weight, losing her former brilliance, and her thin face was set off with exaggerated bags under her eyes, and even the blood vessels were untimely and extraordinarily obvious.

I've never seen her like this, and she will always be beautiful and sparkling in my memory. But at this moment, I didn't have a trace of joy when she sat in front of me so down.

I thought I hated her, but I didn't.

I can't tell you what it feels like, as if a place in my body has been bitten by thousands of ants and insects, and the dark tide is surging, but there is still a faint pain.

——————————

When the time for the visit came, she turned around to go back, but I suddenly panicked, and for some reason I didn't dare to look up at her face.

She looked at me, paused, then tilted her emaciated face slightly, and finally spoke to me. Just a whisper, I thought she would apologize to me, but she didn't.

She just whispered: "Lin Xingxing, help me go see grandma if you have time."

I looked up suddenly, and the moment she turned her face, I saw the mist rising from under her eyes.

At that moment, I collapsed in pain.

————

On the way back from the detention center, the radio in the car played Stefanie Sun's "What I Miss":

What I miss is that I have nothing to say, and what I miss is dreaming together

What I miss is the urge to love you after a fight

I remember that birthday and I remember that song

Remember the tightest right hand in the starry sky

The warmest chest who remembers

Who forgot

……

With a clean voice, Stefanie Sun sang affectionately, my favorite song when Lin Paris and I were in junior high school.

When the familiar melody sounded again, the dusty memories finally flashed in front of me.

We've laughed, we've laughed, we've laughed, we've quarreled, we've reconciled, we've drunk, we've regretted, we've cheated, we've struggled, we've forgiven...... Those who have been entangled in the past over and over again have never left.

I almost forgot that under this familiar face of Lin Paris, what was once hidden was the whole world of my youth.

I wish we could really go back like this and go back to that summer 10 years ago. When I was 13 years old, I held her hand tightly, no matter how strong the wind was, we wouldn't get lost when we closed our eyes, and we could move forward safely.

I don't know exactly where it was at the fork in the road, but Lin Paris didn't follow suit, and I confidently forgot to look back.

I just walked straight ahead without looking back. Until one day, I suddenly realized that I had lost her.

We've been in each other's stories, but they're all connected. No matter how hard I struggle, no matter how much she doesn't want to.

There's no way I don't hate her, but there's no way I can't not love her.

——————————

"Hello, I called Lin Xingxing"

"Hello, I'm Lin Paris"

This is our story, and it's yours.

I hope you can all cherish the people in front of you, because what you can understand is the people in the story.

Important:

(Chapters 9 - 81 are memories of high school life, if you want to skip it, please read Chapter 82 directly: 2020, the last Lin Xingxing)