My heart is like the moon, and there is no sound in the long night

The long light of the Nagato streamer only shadowed one person

My dear friend,

I had a dream without you.

When I woke up, my head was heavy, as if I hadn't woken up, I had a faint ghosting when I saw everything, I didn't have the energy to do anything, and I felt like all my strength was being drained. It's a terrible state, usually only when I'm overnapping. I folded the quilt by myself, washed up, and had a simple breakfast.

The sun was so good today, so good that I was dizzy. The class was full in the morning, and the teacher in the first session did a spot check, but I was not spotted. It seems like a bit of a waste, I should continue to sleep in the dorm room. It wasn't until noon that I felt better, but the old lady didn't hear the bell for the end of class, so I dragged the class, and when I went to the cafeteria, every window was full of people, and I suddenly didn't want to eat.

The milk tea shop at the entrance of the No. 2 canteen has a new product today, which is jasmine grape juice, and there is a buy-one-get-one-free activity. I thought it might be a little sweet for you on the first sip, and the floral aroma was light, but the grapes seemed to be made with saccharin, and I didn't like it very much. I couldn't drink the second glass, so I put it back in the dormitory.

I don't have much to do this afternoon and want to go to the library to pass the time. Maybe because of the upcoming final exams, everyone took a seat in the library, which made me very difficult. To be honest, I don't like this kind of appropriation of public resources, as if you have a book on your desk and it can review itself. After looking around, I went up the floor again, and there was only a place in the corner, but there was a broken lamp there, and the light was very dim, so I sat for a while and went back.

Because I didn't eat anything at noon, I was hungry very quickly at night, and I started to have stomach pain at five o'clock, and I didn't dare to put some snacks on it, for fear that I wouldn't be able to eat dinner. I didn't expect that there would be practical observations at night, but no one reminded me, so I forgot about it. I sent a message to Anjo saying that I had a stomachache and asked him to help me ask for leave, but I didn't expect him to skip practice and go out with friends again. I'm a little envious, even if I'm criticized by name, at least I'm having fun. There were few girls in our class, so it must have been obvious that I didn't go, but I suddenly remembered the flyer you got back before, which had a discount coupon for the food city, which we had never used, so I decided to go to dinner and explain to the teacher later.

It wasn't dark when I entered the subway, but when I came out, the neon lights were all lit up, dazzling, like a world away.

While waiting for the meal, I swiped my phone and flipped to a Weibo post that roughly talked about the level of human loneliness. The lowest level is to go to the supermarket alone, the second level is to go to the restaurant alone, and the highest level is to do surgery alone. I think it's quite funny, I've already experienced a person going to cornea surgery, it doesn't seem to be as miserable as it says on the Internet, but I come to eat alone, but it doesn't feel so natural, there are several couples around, there is a family of three, and groups of students. I sat in the corner again, acting calmly, but I didn't feel obedient in my heart, and I always had the illusion that everyone was looking at me.

Why do people always live in the eyes of others? I don't like it. I've tried my best to live my life, but it seems like I'm not at your level. You can always care about nothing, and I yearn for that. You say that I can get along with anyone and envy me, but that's fake, I don't necessarily like people who talk and laugh with me, but maintaining basic interpersonal relationships is social etiquette and life needs, I'm just forcing myself to do what I'm good at but don't like, and say some fake and beautiful things. Or you can be a little more relaxed, I yearn for it.

What I say to you is true, and so do my love for you. On the contrary, I can't say anything, so I'd better write calmly. Today is over quickly, and I always feel that nothing has gone well these days.

I had a dream without you and I don't know when I'll wake up.

Whether it is disappearing or parting, it has never been a vigorous warning. They are like goose feathers, like snowflakes, like the hazy moonlight in the middle of the night, like your voice. They are light, cold and gentle, and silent. The juice slowly melted at room temperature, and suddenly there was an empty table for two, no one in the library to help occupy a seat, and no one to share the endless meal for two with me. I felt everything turn into quiet dust, so quiet, so quiet that it was deafeningly quiet.

The moonlight is bright tonight, and I think of you again. The evening breeze swept through the street trees and down the road, silent in the depths of the deserted alley. And here I am, in front of the window, alone looking at a book. The night is brighter than the lamp, this book is interesting, and I didn't miss you either.

Lie to you, in fact, I didn't read, I miss you so much.

The night was too long, and my eyes pierced through the darkness, but they didn't see the light. I feel like you belong to the light, to hope, to something like the moon that shines. I am the shadow, and only in the dead of night, embracing the moonlight, can I get true peace. I saw that the moonlight was like water, and my heart was very calm, like a pool of clear water. This pool of water has rippled before, and it is the joy of countless things in my life. I don't know what time it was, it was calm for a long time, and there was no more turmoil.

I don't know when I'll fall asleep tonight, and I don't know if I'll wake up tomorrow morning. But I know that whether I lock the door or open the curtains, there is no small sound of activity in the place behind me, and this silence reminds me all the time that I am indeed a person. The pool of water in my heart is indeed dead.

Life seems fragile, lonely but tenacious. I was so caught in the dust that I couldn't dream of where you were, and I couldn't open my mouth or open my eyes, like a patient with cancer in my bones. I have a lot of things on my mind, so complicated that I can't count them, but when I think of you, they become unimportant again, and they dissipate with the wind. When I made up my mind to forget about you for a while, those troubles came back to me, and none of them were solved.

I don't know what I'm talking about, I write whatever comes to mind.

I always felt that the days when I came in were confused, I couldn't listen to what the teacher said, and every scene of the day was like a drama that had been arranged in advance. It's just that there is no you in the cast, but the director doesn't think it's strange, and the other characters are also played so naturally, as if the world doesn't matter without you.

Also, who wouldn't continue to rotate without this earth? So are you, and so am I. We are a petal among the thousands of flowers on the tree, a bubble in the thousands of waves in the sea, and a speck of dust among the billions of particles in the desert. We are insignificant, as thin as ashes, our existence is so dim, and even a few words can easily be drowned in the torrent of time.

But you're important to me, in this little place, in this little time, you're important.

Should I lock the door today, will I dream of you, will you come back? What should I do now? I've walked so far by myself, I don't know where I should go next. I used to have a clear goal, but after I met you, I knew what I had to do. But you're gone, and I can't help it, and I even forgot what I was supposed to do before. I felt sad, lost, desperate, like I didn't keep my promises, like I was being tricked by someone. I don't know who it is, maybe it's fate.

This is the last time I will write to you. I don't know if you received the previous ones, but last week's paper airplane hit the reef before it hit the sea, and I saw the waves tear it apart. It felt like the letter had not yet reached a friend, but his classmates had snatched it up and torn it up to read it. It's just that you don't receive it, but the letter doesn't write anything, it's just like this time, babbling about those mundane little things, you won't care, and so will I.

I had a dream without you, and I may never wake up.

Good night, I'm going to sleep. The moon is shining tonight, I hope I don't dream of you.

I don't want to dream of you anymore.

Your friend on earth

ultramarine